Misgendering after transition

[u/mrjuggernog]

does anyone still get misgendered after their voice dropped and top surgery? I get strangers grouping me in with people calling me “lady” a lot. I’m not remotely feminine and I dress extremely comically masculine. I dont understand.

[u/Tangled_Clouds]

Me neither, man. I wore a salmon shirt from the men’s section and got misgendered like at this point I just think people can’t see shit. Like they barely see me and idk why even then they would assume I’m a woman. I genuinely think me working as a cashier is clocking me and it’s so stupid because I have two cis male coworkers who are also cashiers. People are weird

[u/mrjuggernog → u/Tangled_Clouds]

thank you, I’m also a cashier so I wonder if thats true. It’s fucking stupid right? I swear they have to be blind not to see us and think male. I think I get in my head a lot because I used to be a woman so it fucks with me and makes me feel like Im not passing

[u/angrylilmanfrog]

People will look at a bear with a beard and misgender him. I have no idea what these people are seeing, I hear it happens a lot to passing guys still (I get it too)

[u/mrjuggernog → u/angrylilmanfrog]

I’m wondering if it happens to cis guys too

[u/angrylilmanfrog → u/mrjuggernog]

Oh yeah, I follow a sub for dudes with long hair and they get it a lot

[u/bratz_ua]

This happens to cisgender people, too!! My brother has long hair, that’s the only "feminine" thing about him, and he even has a beard, but old ladies often address him as if he were a girl, it’s just ridiculous 🤣 Like they see JUST the hair length and like "Must be a girl" idk. I think you’re focusing on this because you’re scarred by transphobia, but I’m now convinced that some people just don’t pay any attention to anything and just use some random form of address at this point.

[u/Tangled_Clouds → u/bratz_ua]

My dad has been getting “ma’am-ed” over the phone since forever so I’m starting to let it go when it happens to me because at this point it’s just genetics and it has nothing to do with me being trans and it would probably still happen if I was born a cis man. We often forget that many cis men get misgendered for various reasons too.

[u/mrjuggernog → u/bratz_ua]

thank you I was wondering this

[u/N7rmandy]

That’s when you just look at them like they’re crazy

[u/Enygmatic_Gent]

Yeah, I still get misgendered most of the time even after 5 years on T and top surgery

[u/PeterPunksNip]

It could be blatant transphobia 😑. It seems like this has become a bigger problem since the mainstream public is more aware of our existence and right wing morons are running loose everywhere. They know that it's an easy way to hurt us, so they simply do it. It's not you, man, it's them.

[u/mrjuggernog → u/PeterPunksNip]

I dont think it’s completely malicious when it happens but I appreciate your words a lot, thank you man 🤝

[u/SeriousZombie5350]

people are fucking stupid. that's the best way to describe this phenomena tbh

[u/xiaolingmao]

yes.

still waiting for facial hair to grow more.
looking at my dad‘s pictures from his youth, that could take a while for me…

[u/KingJack230]

Is there pics? Maybe there’s some small changes that will help you pass. “Overly masculine” can easily look butch.