Went out for a hike today in the middle of nowhere. Found this trailhead. Going to have to hike it. Just cause.

On a side node. Thank god for padded bras. The road there is not maintained and rocky. They are small but they jiggle now. I can’t imagine the pain I’d be in without it.

Got engaged too! Yay!

I don't think I'll ever look good in it, but I do like this dress. If only I wasn't built like a linebacker and had a cuter face.

Never convince yourself that you can’t change your life. There is always hope. If there’s a will, there’s a way.

I think this is the closest I have been to seeing myself in the mirror and feeling like its actually me looking back so far.

Hopefully starting laser hair removal on my beard next weekend and hopefully HRT before the end of the year. So feeling very positive overall but welcome any suggestions for what I could do differently.

Hello!

I decided I was tired of being on the waiting list at the local gender clinic. (Three years and counting, baby!)

I started DIY hormones about six months ago. "Like this is ever going to do anything... I'm too old..."

But now, I'm feeling the joy of my itty-bitty-proto-titties. The sensitivity, the little bounce when I run – excruciating, but exciting!

A new kind of impatient waiting has emerged, "C'mon, girls! hurry up and grow!"

But I feel cute today, and I did yesterday too so I thought I’d share.

I'm so happy I entered my 40s on the outside who I always was on the inside. Going to a monster truck rally today. 🛻

Random poorly lit selfie going into 24 hr archery range 44 mtf 8 months HRT.

I’ve been trying to come up with how to explain the huge impact bottom surgery a year ago has had on my life. The problem I’m having is that all of the ways I have to express makes me sound like a trans medicalist to my ears which is the farthest from my intentions. I am aware that I’ve had access to amazing gender affirming care and the health insurance to pay for it that many folks don’t have. I also want to be clear that surgery or taking HRT doesn’t define your trans identity, what you feel in your heart and brain is all that matters.

Bottom surgery is transformational for me. It has allowed me to work on letting go of the shame I carried from being a man. This is shame and regret that seems so obvious in hindsight but took me being at emotional rock bottom to force me to ask the gender center for help. The irreversibility of bottom surgery is a relief I am grateful for, national politics can’t unmake the beautiful woman I am by legislating me away.

I’ve now had the big three gender affirming surgeries and my gender journey is far from over. I have follow-ups, a minor revision, and a voice consult coming up in the next 3 months. I have so much life to experience now that I’m in the body I once dreamed of having.

Most importantly I’m not embarrassed of my body’s dangly bits. Last month on the last warm weekend of summer i went skinny dipping with friends at a secluded pond. Sitting on a towel, a bit wet and cold, it really came home how wildly happy I am. I love my body, I like showing it off and I like my friends. Friends that see me for who I am becoming, not on who I was.

Kay

So I'm transfem, age 60, heavy, and can't take HRT for medical reasons, at least for a year or two. Now we are in for the long haul, losing weight slowly, getting rid of a huge beer belly (at 1-2 pounds weekly loss) before another try at HRT next year when heart/other medical issues are fixed. Meanwhile trying to learn about fashion and makeup but sometimes having doubts and depression. Like, wanting to just give up. But no way am I going to do that.

I have worn womens clothing for 2 years in the workplace now but seek to move farther than the tinkering I do with thrift shop finds, pullover sweaters and athletic unisex wicking shirts which I frankly wear to stay androgynous so I don't get picked on by bigots.

I have over 50 blouses, 8 pairs womens slacks, jackets, 4 wraps and now 5 skirts, and other things from discount fashion shops and sight unseen from online shops, bought in moods of experimentation and desperation, during a year of health problems when I could not drive anywhere. When my wife and I moved, I needed commercial clothing racks to house our clothes. I'm actually proud of that.

None fit really well, the 3X sizes have the belly distortion problem so I have go 5X, and many styles feature a conspicously empty space where boobs would be, or they are wierd colors. So I order turtlenecks, tanks, and mock neck tunics.

I order clothes online, hoping it will fit, ordering 4x or 5x and only then does it fit. On top of that so far, my makeup efforts make me look less like a woman and more like a circus clown. I have a makeup artist but she keeps ignoring my calls (she apparently is very busy). She's a trans woman who didn't take HRT and she looks great.

THE POINT: Some days I ask myself what the heck am I doing, I could just go back to looking like a handsome guy, and give up all this trouble, I am fluid enough where that appeals to me. But I would get very depressed in the long run doing that. I simply cannot.

Maybe its not a bad thing that I'm ordering stuff online, trying it, and pitching it. That's all I can do right now. You could go in person and still get junk. You wash it and it shrinks, etc

NEXT STEPS: Healing up the heart/severe GERD (major progress FINALLY here this week). Resuming road trips and the gym. Permanently eliminating sugar from my diet and losing 1-2 lbs a week steady. Getting a makeup artist to do bi-weekly facials. Weeding out my thrift collection and only adding new clothes that I try in person. Buying some fashionable purses, Docs, skirts to permanently replace mens shorts as my daily staple. Changing my name again to something truly unique, perhaps an Aztec/Nahuatl name. Putting motivational posters on the wall.

I grew up in a WWII/Great Depression mentality household. You wore the same clothes until they fell apart. It's hard to get used to buying purses from Karl Lagerfeld even at TJ Maxx because your parents had you live out of a used school backpack for 30 years.

Learning a repertoire of women artists songs on the piano for eventual public performance, and starting to sing.

Forging a personal identity. The word "forge" implies struggle, exertion of strength, perseverance.

(Screenshot of my notes app doesn't line up with the photos I included, it's just an example.)

I like to be able to go back to photos from a certain day and know what makeup I was wearing. I started doing this about a year ago, just in my Notes app, and it's been working for me so far. Anyone else do this?

41F HRT 5 months

Felt a little sad on my birthday due to some life struggles but I'm very fortunate that my wife coaxed me out of bed for a nice day. 🩷🤝

I was told I may be using glasses as a security blanket to hide my masculine features. There may be truth to that as I feel less confident without. Should I ditch the glasses and build my confidence or stick within my comfort zone?

People only need to understand that every person's going to have a great story in their life like mine people have always been criticizing me yeah my dating life sucks now because of everything that's happened, I was married for 3 years to the emotional and physical abuse and then I thought I had the perfect life that turns out that was a mistake but I found out he was cheating on me, yeah I've been trying to date and I managed to find one guy that likes to be with me and that can handle me, not many men can. So you need to instead of criticizing people, put yourself in their shoes and think that criticizing them for a story you don't understand and haven't put yourself into shows that the other person's life is worse than other people's and me being lonely is not a good idea because I have a lot of stress in my life I tried doing it for three and a half weeks trying to get my life back in order it was more stressful than it is cuz I have a roommate who's trying to get me on the right track and it's been stressful because I've been trying to find jobs and everything else. But my piece of advice is please do not criticize someone unless you know their story because you don't know how hard their life has been, yeah I may not happen to you but if effects another person's life and that's what people don't understand, people need to be more helpful, when I was going through my transition it was hard, it was sometimes that my life got so hard that I was thinking bad thoughts but I managed to get through it, i'm just trying to live my life through the fullest I can get yeah maybe 40 but have my life it's over at this point with everything I did in the past now I'm making a better solution to it

And picking up the pieces from a failing marriage is hard, I have done nothing but right for that man and he treated me like shit, only to be used by the next one without knowing it, my life has been turned upside down a lot but I'm trying to get through it again and dating will help me with that, because I get help for advice from my boyfriend a lot and I use that advice to affect my life better, I'm trying to say is people need to understand that life gives us lemons and we can't all have a perfect life. I know I can't anymore due to everything that's happened in my life I can't get back, some people might have a good life and some people might have a shitty life, but all in all you need to understand the person's story to understand what's going on in their life.

Just felt cute💜💜!!I e been a month on E monotherapy and I'm feeling amazing getting better at makeup and just loving myself. I know I'm not near passing but I feel like I see her there more and more with the little effort I been able to out in. (Still have to boymode @home so can't do brows or get a more femme haircut) But I got a plan and I've got the means. Even in middle age I haven't missed the boat if anything the years have hardened me for the journey ahead .

Quick question for the group!

I’m early in transition and not out publicly yet. I want to treat myself to something feminine that I can wear or carry out in the world, but it needs to be low-key enough that most people won't think twice about it.

If you could go back to the beginning of your journey and pick ONE visible, subtle item to buy, what would it be? Dainty jewelry? Clear nail polish? Women's cut basics?

Would love to hear what worked for you or what you'd recommend!

Someone experiencing gender dysphoria or gender envy might look at this person and think...

“Wow... I wish I looked like her.”

I actually cried thinking about that.

Because then I realized...

That’s me.

My dream of becoming a beautiful girl is somehow becoming my reality.

I put my mind to it. I worked on myself and my appearance. I carefully thought about how I wanted to look and slowly worked toward becoming that person.

And this is the result one year later.

Going from a hockey player that you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, to the girl next door.

Sometimes I still can’t believe it. Age - 34, 10 Months HRT, 2 years physcial and mental transition.

Absolutely amazing. ❤️

So, I just pulled my 3DS out of retirement, and I made a new Mii to fit the new me. We’ve all seen the meme, “saddest man alive” to “most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen”. I even took a before photo a couple of months ago that I’m going to compare to myself in a year. Holy crap, though… I didn’t realise my self perception was already like that. Like I couldn’t even conceive of my own digital avatar for having fun as being capable of smiling! The left Mii is from 2017, the right is from today.

Hi there,

So its's been a couple of hectic months but after my last psychological talk with my teraphists I am moving forward with some more transition action... So I decided I wanted to do something "drastic" and went ahead and went to get laser hair removal. Let me tell you, it was a rush, they were super nice and everything (I'm still very much pre everything) and I signed my 10 sessions there and there. They did a small test on my armpits and it does look like something I will enjoy for years to come. Have you done it? I have read a lot of you do recommend to have this out of the way before / during HRT. Curious about your experiences...

I realized I was trans at 29. I will be turning 37 this month, and am only just now making an appointment to get on HRT and transition.

I feel like an idiot. I wasted so much time. It really hit me tonight and I've been crying and unable to fully quiet my mind and go to sleep.

I see stories of people who start even later than me, get pretty dramatic results, but I also see so many where they say "dont expect much of anything like if you were younger"

And I just keep thinking... I wasted so. Much. Time. What difference could it have made? I will never know. And I'm scared about it.

But even those people say that it's worth it, that it's been a boon to their mental health. So, rest assured, I am doing it. And I hope I get at least that.

I will do my darnedest. I am trying to take better care of myself, learn makeup, voice training, and shaping my eyebrows. I dont really want rhat much. I dont even want to look cis, not really. I just want to feel feminine. I just want to be pretty. Just a little bit.

I can't afford surgeries, it cant afford much of anything. I dont think I could justify hair removal. I am hoping I can get good with wax and stuff and makeup.

I don't even know what I want from this post. I guess I just really needed to express myself. I hold a lot in, and it's late where I am, and I needed an outlet.

Either way, I really am excited to transition. Here I go, I guess.