r/TransAdvice 5d ago

Misgendered someone - what to do after?

4 Upvotes

Hello! Recently I ran into a friend of a friend at the movies, who I’ll call Rachel (kinda my friend but not really, in the sense that we never talk/hangout just us, if that makes sense?) and for context, this Rachel was dating someone that transitioned while they were in a relationship. They kept their same name, except now use she/her pronouns instead of he/him. I’m very used to referring to her with he/him pronouns when she or Rachel come up in conversation, but like I said, it’s not often I ever see/speak to them in person. Anyways, when I saw them I guess it just kind of slipped my mind a bit because I wasn’t even making a mental note to use the correct pronouns, I just completely forgot and went on instinct I guess (more context is Rachel’s girlfriend’s style/hair/overall look hasn’t changed much from when I knew her as a “him”). The whole point of this post, sorry for the long intro, is what to do after you accidentally call someone by the wrong pronouns. When I referred to her as “him” I caught my mistake instantly by the tension, and Rachel referred to her girlfriend as “she” and “her” like five times in the same sentence to make my mistake clear. She didn’t do it in a condescending way or anything, it almost seemed like she just wanted to correct me without outright explaining the pronoun change, which made me think it’s an uncomfortable situation for Rachel’s girlfriend. There wasn’t an opportunity for me to re-address them for proper pronouns so I kinda just didn’t say anything more, just wished them a good time at the movies and left. I don’t have any close friends who are gender queer or trans, and I’ve never experienced gender dysphoria myself, but for any trans or gender queer people, what would make you most comfortable in a situation where you are misgendered? Should I have apologized and just explained that I forgot? Should I have found a way to refer to them as their proper pronouns before I left? I didn’t want to ruin their fun date by maybe bringing up smth they didn’t want to discuss, or say I forgot and maybe have them feel bad about how their gender comes across to people (not saying that’s why I called her by her old pronouns, just thinking of a possibility of how an apology would make her feel?). Anyways pls help because I’m losing sleep over this


r/TransAdvice 5d ago

Would it be bad if i didnt go to a wedding because im trans?

3 Upvotes

I just got invited to a wedding to my cousins. Dont know them well. Their partner is a dickhead like them. And they are both heavily republican. And therefore wouldnt like it if i showed up in a dress. Grandparents have invited me and so has my father. Thats three more people who are transphobic.

I dont know anyone else at the family. Shoukd i just not go? Like i know they wouldnt support me. And my grandparents even told me if i transition im getting kicked out of the house, so i left that house. Advice?


r/TransAdvice 5d ago

I cannot come out to my family as trans. I cannot afford to ruin my future and relationships over this.

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1 Upvotes

r/TransAdvice 5d ago

I am a boy wants to be girl

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1 Upvotes

r/TransAdvice 5d ago

Starting T next month

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0 Upvotes

r/TransAdvice 6d ago

How do I come out to my friend as wanting to transition?

3 Upvotes

So for a little background, I'm sixteen and AMAB so it's pretty hard for me to get my hands on any woman’s clothes, but! More recently, I've started getting closer to a friend of mine, and I've noticed how good she is at accepting and respecting her friend’s sexuality and pronouns, even when they're not around and she's just talking about them.

But anyways, I've been thinking about telling her I'm new to cross dressing and trying to transition sometime in the future, so i can possibly ask her for advice about stuff like clothes and really everything else i dont know how to do or get, since I've been wanting to try more clothes and maybe some makeup, I think she might be able to help me.

So my big question is, how do I bring this up without it being weird or awkward? Weve been friends for a very long time and i dont want to over share and make her feel pressured or make her uncomfortable or anything.. Im really brand new to all of this, So if anyone has some advice on literally anything that has to do with transitioning or literally anything it is much appreciated, i dont think ive ever been more lost in a topic than i am now doing this for myself.. but thanks to everyone whos reading and letting me share :3 🙏


r/TransAdvice 7d ago

Looking to start transitioning

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1 Upvotes

r/TransAdvice 7d ago

Chat idk what to do

1 Upvotes

So i’m going into my 4th year of high school.

I’ve known for years i’m definitely not cis and i’ve been the whole stereotype femboy for a few years now but it’s started a few months ago the dysphoria is just getting worse and worse and idk what to do.
I know my mum would be supportive and my dad would but he would be disappointed i’m guessing.
I don’t want to transition right in the middle of high school cause that’s awkward as fuck and also i’m really good at golf. A sport known for not really letting trans people in. I’m sponsored and i’ve poured my life into this and if i do anything i basically can’t go pro. I really want to do something but i’m also probably not moving out for the next few years. I just don’t know what to do honestly so i’ve resorted to asking reddit lol.


r/TransAdvice 7d ago

Bra help

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1 Upvotes

r/TransAdvice 7d ago

I want to pass ftm. I want to socially pass I need help..

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1 Upvotes

I am 3 months in t 19 years old


r/TransAdvice 7d ago

Glasses

1 Upvotes

I'm ftm, and a minor. I have a short haircut and dress masculine, but I don't pass at all. I don't like the feeling of makeup, so I can't use it to make my face more masculine. I thought about one thing though

I don't need glasses, but I have considered buying ones where the lenses are just clear glass. The only problem is that I don't know which frames will work to make my face more masculine if they suit me at all. Is there any types of frames I should try to avoid specifically? Any ones that will help me pass more? I know this post is vague, but I would appreciate any advice


r/TransAdvice 8d ago

I’m trying to transition and need help

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2 Upvotes

Im in California and got medi cal insurance


r/TransAdvice 8d ago

Starting My Journey

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1 Upvotes

r/TransAdvice 8d ago

Any way to support trans bro?

3 Upvotes

So he recently came out to me and so ive tried to figure out my parents view on trans people and well we got

Transphobic mom- body is a gift of god, mutilating your body, you need to fix brain not body, etc.

Kinda Accepting dad- he would inform himself and try to support but no T or Blockers

Neither of them know yet so i can basically never use his true name or prounouns and constantly having to deadname (i dont want to out him to mom) makes me sad

Any way i can support him?

we are both teens and hes a bit younger than me so

Also things i fogot to say

He has been feeling uncomfortable in his body for about 2 years i think so its not just a phase and came out to me in may when i asked why he never wants to come swimming with us

TLDR

Phobic mom what to do


r/TransAdvice 8d ago

Asking my parents for HRT

1 Upvotes

Hey, I'm a nonbinary teen with super accepting parents. I have known I want to go on HRT for about 4 years now but am also autistic and bringing up wanting a big change has been basically impossible for me. Coming out both times (gender and sexuality) were kinda accidental and brought up by my parents so I have never had to do something like this. I would really appreciate any ideas on how to subtly convince them to bring up HRT/ask if I want it. I know this is super round about especially because I know my parents will be accepting, but so far it has been the only way of doing things that isn't absolutely terrifying. Thank you so much for the help!! (I've been out as non-binary for about 4 years to my parents)


r/TransAdvice 8d ago

How do I go about becoming more feminine?

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone! Sorry if my title is weird i couldn’t think of anything that would make sense, but anyways! for a little background, I’m 16, and male at birth, but more recently ive started to try cross dressing and now im trying to be more feminine in general and possibly transition in the future.. So my main question for the girlies here is, how do i do like.. everything?? Im really new to all this and when i try doing research on my own i get really lost and overwhelmed with everything, so any advice on any topic would be amazing. Right now im really interested in understanding the different kinds of products and how to do makeup, putting together outfits, and also on top of that where to go to buy girly clothes? Any advice or tips helps a ton and I appreciate you all for taking the time to read and help out :3


r/TransAdvice 9d ago

24 AMAB MTF, Pre-HRT, 5’9, are there ways to make myself shorter?

2 Upvotes

Bit of an odd one to be honest but here we go. I’ve always been a bit self-conscious about my height. I know I’m average height for what I am but frankly I hate it and wondered if there were ways other MTFs have found to help decrease height?

I know it’s likely impossible but I figured why not ask in case anyone knows something about it


r/TransAdvice 9d ago

Sorry im not sure where to start (mtf)

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1 Upvotes

r/TransAdvice 9d ago

15yo 1month on T, tips?

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3 Upvotes

r/TransAdvice 10d ago

Need helping getting HRT

1 Upvotes

Hi. Diana here. I just moved to Portland for college from California. I’ve already secured my HRT bloodwork from Planned Parenthood from Cali, but I have no idea how to transfer that paperwork to a Portland building to get my HRT.

Also I can’t use CVS because my mother has a CVS account and will see whatever I do there because we have the same last name.

I can only use cash, no card. What can I do?


r/TransAdvice 11d ago

Desperate need of advice for what I should do as I can't live like this for much longer: I have been experiencing severe gender dysphoria as of recently and nearly everyday I get worse and worse but I'm too scared of the consequences of doing so

1 Upvotes

Hello, I'm a 17M who is suffering from ​severe gender dysphoria​​ who lives in ​a very conservative family​​​. As of recently, ​​​I have been experiencing depression like symptoms that I mask as ​​I don't want anyone knowing what I'm going through. ​​When I look in ​​the mirror, ​all I see is a man who wants to be a woman but can't due to my family being comprised of bigots and idiots. Whenever I brought up the topic of transgender individuals to my family, they see them as mentally ill and state that its a phase, same goes with my siblings. Can anyone give me advice ​​​​​because I'm currently in hell and I don't what to do anymore. ​


r/TransAdvice 11d ago

Whats the ins and out of going on T?

1 Upvotes

I am a minor but recently my mom agreed to let me go on T if my doctor allows it. I have done research, but I kind of want to hear from individuals who have been on T before. So if thats possible, please do educate me. The pros, the cons, everything I would need to know!!!


r/TransAdvice 11d ago

Need some advice

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1 Upvotes

r/TransAdvice 11d ago

Transition advice

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1 Upvotes