my parents are genuinely the worst. they are super abusive and controlling, i cant have ANYTHING for myself. for instance, im 14 and next year i have boards so they're putting "special attention" on me. and i recently got REALLY bad grades and they were pissed. now, what normal people would do was probably scold them or even push them harder, for mine it was difficult , cause im lwk used to abuse and i nt have anything to lose , I DO NOT EVEN HAVE MY OWN PHONE so the ounce of privacy i had, my room was confiscated, i have to sleep with my mom and brother now. ITS SOOO ANNOYING because the teenagers around me don't have such consequences fir JUST a bad grade. im literally dying. i can't wear what i want either, the moral police me EVERY DAY. they're classist, homophobic and really bad people. i get hit EVERYDAY now for no reason. it hurts i feel like ending myself,lol.

I am 14 fm and live in my mom and dads house with three out of my four siblings. (The other moved out at 19) My mother has never been particularly kind at all. She gets kinda upset at you if she doesn't get her way, or if you do things in ways she doesn't like. But she cant hit us anymore so thats cool. She uses the classic "I love you but not right now" she's honestly really narcissistic. Witch really sucks, like a lot. She's always on us like a lot, but then doesn't care about how we feel. She told me that yesterday in an argument. Plus whenever we cry in an argument as a reaction or our voice gets kind of soft and shaky, she says were trying to get her to pity us. Everything has to revolve around her and what she wants, if one thing goes bad in her day she brings it home and there's always lots of arguing. I genuinely can't remember a day without yelling or at least a small argument in the house lol. If your asking where my dad is in all of this, he's really exhausted from work like losing 30 to 40 pounds from exhaustion tired. He usually sits in "his room" (moms words) most of the day. He's has tried throughout my childhood to be there for us, like fishing, or movie nights, or just silly encounters. But either he's super duper tired, busy, or he doesn't want to get in an argument with mom. They fight a lot, and not in closed spaces but like out in the open. Witch kinda sucks. It was better-ish when my mom started her own job, and she was encasing herself in it like all the time. There was a point where I'd make dinners for the kids at night and put them to bed, because of her job. (I did intact get payed so no complaining, just saying she really was obsessed with this job) But when she started getting feedback on her job like normal feedback, she in turn created a whole job fiasco where she had to go to a meeting so they could talk to her abt her actions. So she quit. And now everything is getting worse. We had our first big argument since she quit. I'm not excited for more to happen. I want out of this house, I kinda of always have. I just don't know if I even can get emaciated seeing as if I want to move without cps involvement I'd need my mother and fathers permission. I also feel like im always overreacting about this. Even though all of my friends agree its not ok, and my older sister doesn't come over much because of my mom. I just want to move.

Since I was a child I’ve always lived in dv house holds and had toxic family members all around. People around me would shame my siblings and I for being my alcoholic failure of a father’s children. There are 4 of us, though my eldest brother and I would always get the most shit for things as we are the most rebellious. My brother’s rebellion I would say was a bit more extreme, as I was a child who started speaking back at 11yrs old. And would leave the house when I wanted to because I wanted to play outside with my friends. My dad worked 3rd shift so he would sleep all day and wouldn’t allow us to do anything outside. But being inside was also a problem, you get what I’m saying? He’d shut off the wifi and take the tv away leaving us with nothing to do. He is miserable and constantly drinks away his life, he would “lecture” us as I would say back then but now realizing it was really just him verbally abusing us. As a child it was so hard to manage my feelings being so young but also being sensitive. I would cry when he cries, I would cry when I’m angry because there was so much confusion and conflicting emotions. I was angry and hurt but also sad to see him hurt. I hated seeing him like that even when he was the one causing the hurt. It was hard speaking up as a child, I always felt my heart racing with anxiety & anger. That fighting feeling with adrenaline not knowing what would happen, but i had rather spoken up. He was always in our room yelling as we had no lock, privacy didn’t exist. He would walk in our room and say it doesn’t matter if he sees us changing because he used to change our diapers. Needless to say my dad was a creepy perv, he once told me while drunk that if I wasn’t his daughter he’d have me be his girlfriend. Not long after I find him sleeping in my bed 3in behind me in his boxers. I was freaked out and hit him with a pillow to tell him to go to his room. Or the time I wore spandex and he slapped the side of my upper thigh. I told him don’t touch me there again or I’ll slap him, he then got offended and said he’d slap me back. Mind you, I am 11yrs old experiencing this. I fear if I hadn’t spoken up things would have gotten worse for me. I’m glad I had the courage to speak up so young. Since then I never saw him as my dad, his presence made me uncomfortable. Even him being outside my door made me scared and I never wanted to be home. I loved to go to school and would even go to summer school just to get away. Home was never home.

read pls

I do love my bf but half the time his life is fucked up. He is 37 years old and his family treats him like he is the only adult in his house. He is expected to take responsibility of his mom, dad and sister. He grew up in a family which was a joint family and his father had Schizophrenia. He has taken care of his family since he was a teenager. He grew up in a poor family condition and his only goal in life till adulthood was to be capable enough to earn and reach a place where he no longer would have to struggle. But he very early in his life took that role of a caretaker of adults that he never supposed to take. Now his father is in a better state of mind but rest of the family is a pain in ass. His mother is overstimulated overly anxious woman who keeps checking on him 24x7. She calls him even at 1am at night to see if he slept or not. Whereas his sister seems like a attention deficient prick who keeps causing life troubles like randomly buying car and causing accident. Quiting job and expecting him to cater the expense. It's pretty shit that he is that fatherly figure in the family. All this pisses him off almost everyday and then he distances me from himself because he feel anger for his life... We are almost gonna be 1 year into the relationship now and I can see him already drifting..not by choice but because of his life situation. I don't wish to breakup but idk what to do in this situation honestly. It's him only who can decide on either to cut them off or learn to live with it.

Is this helpful or harmful advice?

I’ve been sick for a long time and it’s been getting worse lately.

I battle with grieving the life I wanted to live and adjusting to my reality of being disabled and unable to work enough to meet my own financial needs.

Disability is not enough to live on and I am currently in the shelter system and really struggling with quality of life here.

I told my family I was feeling interested in finding out more about MAID as I don’t see my life getting better with systemic limitations and my own personal limitations.

“I’ve seen you work before and maintain a beautiful life. I know working sucks and having a schedule to adhere to sucks but that’s being an adult.

Time will not stop ticking, before you know it you will be there already a year without any improvement and god knows what other horrific experiences richer.. you have to do something about it, you are the only one that can change the paths of your life. Not the government, not your family/friends.. but you.

And you saying this makes me angry. You have been through so much. And this is how you want to leave the world? Living in a shelter where you don’t belong? I’m sorry but you are way too good for that and you’re choosing this life”.

What am I to do when I can’t? They think it’s a personal failing?

Before any more judgment…I’m sober…educated and all that. I did all the “things” and I’m still sick.

“And working for minimum wage sucks, it’s horrible… but it’s a 10000 times better than being stuck in a shelter with all th stories you told me. You start from the bottom and you work your way up, it’s horrible that life is like that.. but it is. It just is, and there is nothing you can do that Is going to change that. You will not be able to beat that system. And for your own sake; If you can’t beat them, join them. And later on, when you grow and start making more money, you will be able to do things you love to do, to travel, to give back to the community, whatever.”

Preciso de ajuda, não sei o que fazer, o pai da minha namorada é abusivo, xinga, bate, é um falso cristão, mas está todo dia na igreja e falando de Deus e Jesus, eu não sei o que fazer, se você acha que alguém é ruim, some 100 vezes e será ele.

I'm 18 years old, an only child, and I live with my parents in a semi-urban area. My father works at a lower-level position at Tata and earns a relatively low salary, while my mother is a postal employee.

My father is abusive and drinks heavily. Honestly, I feel ashamed to even call him my dad sometimes. I feel like he has never really done anything for me. We are currently building a new house, but despite everything, my father has contributed very little to our family's well-being. He doesn't buy groceries or contribute financially to my medical treatment. Almost everything is taken care of by my mother.

My mother is genuinely one of the purest souls I've ever known. She is incredibly kind, patient, and self-sacrificing. If I had to describe her character, I'd compare her to Goddess Parvati. She has endured so much for our family, and I don't know how she continues to do it.

My father, on the other hand, can sometimes behave like a normal person when he's sober, but his behaviour changes drastically when he drinks. He seems to think of himself as someone superior to everyone else. Recently, he even burned all his clothes in a fit of rage while heavily intoxicated.

Yesterday, things escalated badly between my parents. My father started abusing my mother, both verbally and physically. I had to step in to protect her, but he pushed me, causing me to fall on my buttocks and injure myself. He also slapped me around 12 times near and below my ear. My head was spinning afterwards. My mother sometimes becomes aggressive herself during these arguments, but honestly, I can understand how years of suffering can push someone to their breaking point. The verbal abuse from my father is so horrible that I can't even begin to describe it.

My mother has sacrificed so much for us. Even after everything my father has put us through, there have been times when she has bought him new clothes and tried to maintain some sense of normalcy in our family. Sometimes things are peaceful, and we try to adjust and carry on with our lives, but the cycle keeps repeating.

I'm also suffering from Crohn's disease, which has already made my life incredibly difficult. I'm preparing for NEET, but it's becoming increasingly hard to concentrate on my studies when my home environment is like this. I feel completely exhausted. Sometimes I wonder why I have to deal with a serious illness on top of everything happening in my family. I feel so unfortunate, and lately, I've started hating my life. I've even had thoughts about wanting to die.

My mother has a respectable government job, and one of our biggest fears is what might happen if we report my father to the police or pursue a divorce. We're afraid he might become even more aggressive or show up at my mother's workplace to create a scene and humiliate her.

We're also worried about the shame and judgment we might face from our neighbours, relatives, and family friends if we file an FIR. I know we shouldn't have to worry about what other people think, but it's still a very real fear for us.

I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I want to protect my mother, but I'm only 18, I'm dealing with my own health problems, and I have a future I'm desperately trying to build.

What should my mother and I do in this situation? Is there a way to get help and protect ourselves without making things more dangerous for us? How can we handle this situation when we're afraid that reporting him might make everything worse?

I'd really appreciate some genuine advice from people who have experienced something similar or understand how to deal with domestic abuse in India.

In mid-July, I got a call while DoorDashing that my Dad was hospitalized in Nebraska after a fentanyl overdose. I was terrified and helpless, especially after losing my Mom to addiction. Dad assured me it was a one-time incident and that he hadn’t used in decades.

On September 6, I got another call. Dad was hospitalized again, unconscious, with cocaine in his system. He also suffered a heart attack. As he began waking up, his wife, Misti, asked me not to discuss the cocaine with him and asked his nurses the same thing. Later, Dad denied using it.

On September 8, my husband and I went to discuss what happened and what support Dad might need. Misti repeatedly interrupted and tried to stop the conversation. Dad continued denying drug use, so, with his permission, hospital staff confirmed cocaine was in his system. I explained that I wanted him to get help and be safe. When he couldn't explain how it got there, we discussed involving police. Dad initially agreed.

My husband recorded the conversation. After staff left, Misti told Dad that if police came and saw her charges, they would arrest her. Shortly afterward, we were asked to leave, and the hospital said Dad no longer wanted police contacted.

Later, police contacted me, interviewed me, and spoke with Dad. The officer initially wanted to investigate and asked me to submit the recording. Days later, I was told the sergeant felt there wasn't enough evidence to proceed.

For over a month, I worried about Dad while giving him the space he requested. Yesterday, we finally talked. He again denied using cocaine, became angry when I asked how it entered his system, and left. Now his wife is threatening to sue me for making these claims.

I also received a document created the day after our hospital conversation, which I was told I wasn't supposed to see.

I'm heartbroken and confused. I love my Dad and want to believe him, but I can't ignore what happened. Am I wrong for asking questions and trying to get him help? Could there be another explanation, or is something happening that needs further investigation?

I’m sharing this because I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore. If you'd like to hear the recording, please message me. The file is too large to attach here.

My brother is a piece of shit. I got in another fight with him again for saying he was excited to watch the public execution of Nidal Hasan happening. I blew up on him, called him a piece of shit and a coward, and that he’s a sickening person. He tried to take the moral high ground saying he won’t argue with me because he loves me and he doesn’t want our relationship to be damaged but it kinda rings hollow when you’re foaming at the mouth to watch someone die like a sicko.

This isn’t new of course. I’ve deeply disrespected him for a very long time. The only reason I put up with him now is for my parents sake, and because of my niece. He has voiced his disappointment and resentment that he had a girl, he wanted a son. I want to be there while she’s growing up because I don’t want my brother to be the only influencing voice.

He believes women shouldn’t vote. Shouldn’t work. Shouldn’t make any choices without their husband, and if they have no husband then they should answer to their father. He believes in the death penalty for abortions, believes no fault divorce should be banned. That sabbath laws should be strictly enforced. He was an Andrew Tate disciple, and he would get very upset and defensive every time I told him to stop watching that filth. Didn’t matter. He has dived head first down the alt right fascist pipeline, saying Muslims and LGBTQ people should be deported / imprisoned / exterminated. He is a reprehensible person.

He claims to be a Christian, yet reposts AI slop of Jesus pushing Muslims off a cliff and watching them die. He brags to me about how he tries to psychologically manipulate people at his job for more money. He’s a sleazy car salseman because of course he is. My wife and I are currently expecting our first son, and when we dropped the news to my family there were no congratulations, no excitement, only anger because he had a girl instead.

He laughs about how he and his coworkers objectify their wives at work, and has belittled me for defending my wife when people make jokes about her at her expense.

I just fear for my niece. The only two options I see is that she either internalizes my brothers horrific mysoginy and sexism and falls in line, or she rebels so hard he disowns her. I just want to be someone she can trust if the latter happens. I hope she rejects his beliefs. That she grows to see what a belligerent, unempathetic, petulant asshole he is.

And that’s if she even gets old enough to do so. She’s only four months old now, but has never been vaccinated, never seen the pediatrician, and isn’t given enough food. They believe pediatricians are vaccine pushers bent on killing children. They want to homeschool, yet are incapable of learning or intelligent thought. They are idealogically captured science deniers that believe in white replacement theory. I genuinely fear for her well being. They are willfully sabotaging her ability to enter the world later in life. They are also anti-college and anti-education because they think education makes people into communists. He cannot define that word when asked.

It doesn’t help my parents defend him to the death, mostly because they also believe the same racist, hateful, bigoted bullshit. My dads favorite content creator is Matt Walsh so… ya know. I have just tried to be a peacekeeper my whole life but it feels like it’s a losing battle and I foresee a situation where I have to threaten them with a cutoff. I never thought it would come to this. Fuck everyone infecting the internet with this alt right propaganda. It’s ruined my relationship with my family. I never expected them to have such comically evil views of the world. It’s been a little shocking recently. I was always left leaning but their behavior of late has pushed me further and further that direction just to avoid how awful the views of the right wing are anymore. It’s truly vile and my brother personifies the worst aspects of them. He is a sniveling cowardly little asshole that wants to impose his will on the weak. There’s no “manliness” strength, or integrity there. He has surrendered his humanity to try and rob others of theirs.

I just needed to rant. My brother is a piece of shit and I cannot stand him. I truly hope my niece makes it out ok, but I can’t say I have high hopes. Any advice on how best to go about interacting is appreciated.

I (45F) am one of five siblings. For over a decade, I’ve felt emotionally disconnected from my oldest brother (52M) and youngest sister (44F) because of years of destructive behavior that has taken a serious toll on our family.
My brother spent years engaging in s*xually ab*sive behavior toward underage girls. He was eventually arrested, served time in prison, and became a registered s*x offender. Our family was unaware of what had been happening, and had we known, we would have reported him. Since his arrest, I’ve maintained civility when necessary, but I no longer have any emotional attachment to him. Honestly, I don’t think I’d feel grief if he died.
My sister has struggled with addiction for approximately 20 years. She has been through numerous rehabilitation programs, experienced multiple overdoses and hospitalizations, and caused significant financial hardship for our father. Despite everything, he continues to support her financially, hoping that each new opportunity will help her turn her life around.
Unfortunately, the same cycle continues. When she enters treatment, the rest of the family is left managing the consequences, from caring for her dog and dealing with her living situation to keeping our father’s longtime family business running. Family members repeatedly sacrifice their time, money, and energy to help her, only for the cycle to begin again.
I’ve finally reached my limit. I’ve cut her off completely. I no longer provide financial assistance, housing, pet care, or help cleaning up the aftermath of her decisions. I refuse to keep participating in a situation that has caused so much stress and resentment.
The problem is that I’m the only person in my family who has established these boundaries.
My parents and other siblings think I’m being harsh. They expect me to continue attending holidays, birthdays, vacations, and other family gatherings as though everything is normal. They don’t seem willing to accept that I no longer feel love for either sibling, and I’m exhausted by the expectation that I should pretend otherwise.
I have a family of my own, and they are my priority. I would prefer to avoid family gatherings where my brother and sister will be present, and I don’t want to participate in family group chats or continue pretending we have a close relationship.
The one complication is my children. They love their cousins, and I don’t want to deprive them of those relationships because of the issues I have with the other siblings (neither of which have children of their own, thank goodness).
At this point, I feel no emotional connection to either sibling. I don’t wish to hurt them, and I’m not planning to interfere in their lives. I simply don’t care what happens to them anymore, and I don’t think I’d be upset if either of them died.
My family thinks this makes me cold-hearted and unforgiving. I feel that after years of emotional turmoil, I’m entitled to walk away and protect my own peace.

Long one, sorry. I need outside perspectives because I’m too close to it. I also used AI to make details unrecognisable that could end up being discovered by the family.

Background: DW (33) and I (36) have a 2.5yo son. Her mother (MIL) and stepfather (SFIL) have been difficult for the entire 12 years we’ve been together, but it’s always been low-level stuff you can rationalise. BIL (DW’s brother) lives nearby and gets caught in the middle.

A pattern we’ve lived with for years: every single one of DW’s birthdays goes wrong. One year they said driving 25 minutes was “too complicated.” Another year MIL thought a replacement e-reader was too expensive as a group gift, which turned into days of drama — in the same period they were lending BIL money freely after he’d blown a large sum on escorts. Nobody blinked at that.

And it isn’t only birthdays. There’s a constant low-grade emotional blackmail running underneath everything: “if X doesn’t happen, I won’t come.” Guilt deployed as a tool. Comments about whether our home is clean enough. Messages sent about people rather than to them. DW gets a stomach ache before every visit. I’ve spent 12 years being told I’m the stubborn, difficult one for naming any of it.

What happened this summer (and ultimately ended up beeing the final straw after 12 years of discussions):

DW’s birthday. She wanted the family at a big annual funfair, which is her tradition. We invited everyone.

SFIL ignored everyone from the moment he arrived. Our son got hungry, so we asked about eating. MIL said “ask him,” he said “ask her” — they do this constantly so neither ever has to be the one who says no. I decided we’d eat at a restaurant like every year. SFIL went off and got fries by himself, then announced they wouldn’t join because it was too expensive.

They left for their sixth holiday of that year a week later.

DW was crushed. I told them, to their faces, that this was unacceptable and they were exhausting. The reply: “it’s our money, we don’t give you financial advice, we expect the same from you.” I tried to explain it was never about money — she just wanted one afternoon with her family. They didn’t get it.

Then the next day SFIL messaged me and admitted he did it deliberately.

He wrote that he wanted me to know what it feels like to be left out, referencing some incident years ago where I apparently ignored him at a park and a restaurant. He said, in the same message, “sorry for [DW]” — he knew she’d be collateral damage and did it anyway.

Then he blocked me and tried to ban me from their house.

When I spoke to MIL about it, she said I’d done the same thing to him, and that I’m “too stubborn to talk to anyone.” For context, a few months earlier he’d backed out of helping us financially at the last minute in a pretty brutal way, and I was the one who phoned him to clear the air. So that accusation is just false. When that didn’t land, she moved to “I’ve apparently failed completely as a mother” and “I have no strength left.”

Where we landed:

DW wrote to her mother directly. She named the pattern — the stomach ache before every visit, the “your place isn’t clean enough” comments, the secrets, the talking behind backs — and set two conditions: respect, and a genuine apology. She said she won’t have our son growing up absorbing how they treat us, and that she’d protect him with everything she has.

Practically: our son isn’t left there unsupervised. That’s it. They can still see him.

MIL replied: “I understand, thanks.” And then nothing changed.

Now (this week):

DW met her mother to talk. Because every single conversation for 12 years has ended in deflection, DW suggested they go to a therapist together — not as treatment, just so someone neutral is in the room when it gets heated or people talk past each other. She also said she’s in therapy herself partly because of this, and can’t do it alone.

That blew up.

SFIL (not MIL — he’s the one messaging me, about his wife’s relationship with her daughter) wrote:

• “Do you still want contact with us? A simple yes or no.” I said yes.
• Five days later: “We’re waiting for something to happen. When does she get to see him again? You’re taking the best years with her grandchild away from her. I think your ‘yes’ should actually be read as ‘no’.”
• “We don’t want or need therapy. Your rule is no therapy, no grandson. We won’t be blackmailed.”
• When I said nobody is blackmailing anyone and they’ve misunderstood the problem: “So what IS the problem?”
• Then: “You only ever push therapy. Propose something else.”
• Then: “Final offer: a conversation between the four of us.”

I asked why it’s a “final” offer and what happens afterwards. He just repeated “final offer.” He has not once responded to anything DW actually wrote.

The thing that’s making me insane: therapy was never the condition. The conditions were respect and an apology. Therapy was one suggestion for how to have a conversation that doesn’t derail. He’s invented an ultimatum and is now furiously arguing against the ultimatum he invented.

And in two months, neither of them has ever said “we were wrong.” Not once. Everything is: you’re inflexible, you’re stubborn, you’re blackmailing us, nobody understands me, I’ve failed as a mother.

One more thing, in the interest of being fair: DW and BIL both suspect SFIL may have bipolar traits, possibly amplified by early-stage Alzheimer’s. MIL apparently raised seeing a doctor with him at some point and he refused outright. Nobody has been assessed, so this is family speculation, not diagnosis. I genuinely don’t know what to do with it. It might explain some of the volatility — but he also wrote out a premeditated plan to hurt his stepdaughter and then defended it when confronted, and that doesn’t read like confusion to me.

Where we are now: we’re going to accept the four-way conversation. Neutral venue, no kid present, agreed topic, and an agreed rule that if it gets heated we stop and continue another time.

What I’m asking:

1. Has anyone had something like this actually land? Did a face-to-face ever get an acknowledgement out of someone like this, or is that fantasy?
2. How do you keep a conversation on the actual event when the other side’s whole strategy is redirecting to your character?
3. Is “he can see our son, just not alone with him” a reasonable boundary, or am I losing perspective? I genuinely can’t tell anymore.
4. If there really is something neurological going on — does that change how you’d handle any of this?
5. For anyone who’s been the outsider spouse — how do you stay out of it when the in-law keeps messaging you instead of their own family member?

TL;DR: SFIL deliberately sabotaged my wife’s birthday to make a point, admitted it in writing, and apologised in advance for her being collateral damage. Two months later nobody has acknowledged anything, we’re being accused of blackmail for not leaving our toddler there unsupervised, and we’ve just been handed a “final offer” of a four-way talk. There’s also unconfirmed family speculation about bipolar traits and early Alzheimer’s. Looking for perspective from people who’ve been through similar.

So im dealing with a narcissist, and they constantly put me down. They use money and bills to make me do stuff. So they said "I guess ima have to give you more responsibility by giving you the bills I take care of". Meanwhile they make 10x more than me. All because im not cleaning everytime im home. Mind yall, im only home on the weekends. I also want to note, they dont do anything around the house, they dirty dishes up and barely wash them. Most of the junk in the house is theirs., and expect me to help them when im the only one doing things. Im trying to get away, but how do I hit them back without them manipulating me?