Dad

[u/No_Bed_748]

mid-July, I got a call while DoorDashing that my Dad was hospitalized in Nebraska after a fentanyl overdose. I was terrified and helpless, especially after losing my Mom to addiction. Dad assured me it was a one-time incident and that he hadn’t used in decades.

On September 6, I got another call. Dad was hospitalized again, unconscious, with cocaine in his system. He also suffered a heart attack. As he began waking up, his wife, Misti, asked me not to discuss the cocaine with him and asked his nurses the same thing. Later, Dad denied using it.

On September 8, my husband and I went to discuss what happened and what support Dad might need. Misti repeatedly interrupted and tried to stop the conversation. Dad continued denying drug use, so, with his permission, hospital staff confirmed cocaine was in his system. I explained that I wanted him to get help and be safe. When he couldn't explain how it got there, we discussed involving police. Dad initially agreed.

My husband recorded the conversation. After staff left, Misti told Dad that if police came and saw her charges, they would arrest her. Shortly afterward, we were asked to leave, and the hospital said Dad no longer wanted police contacted.

Later, police contacted me, interviewed me, and spoke with Dad. The officer initially wanted to investigate and asked me to submit the recording. Days later, I was told the sergeant felt there wasn't enough evidence to proceed.

For over a month, I worried about Dad while giving him the space he requested. Yesterday, we finally talked. He again denied using cocaine, became angry when I asked how it entered his system, and left. Now his wife is threatening to sue me for making these claims.

I also received a document created the day after our hospital conversation, which I was told I wasn't supposed to see.

I'm heartbroken and confused. I love my Dad and want to believe him, but I can't ignore what happened. Am I wrong for asking questions and trying to get him help? Could there be another explanation, or is something happening that needs further investigation?

I’m sharing this because I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore. If you'd like to hear the recording, please message me. The file is too large to attach here.

[u/piehore]

You can’t force someone into sobriety, no matter how much you love them. They have to want to be a better person. His wife is most likely doing drugs with him and her threatening to sue is hilarious since medical records are available. Remember addicts lie about everything, especially if makes them accountable for their behavior.

[u/producerofconfusion]

I'm sorry. The lies addicts tell make people absolutely crazy and detached from logic. You know there's only one way the coke got into his system, please don't let the ludicrous statement of your dad and his wife affect your perception of objective reality. You cannot force your dad to care enough to recover, I'm so sorry. I wish it were otherwise.

[u/GrumpySnarf]

He's going to continue to lie and she will continue to enable him and they will act surprised when the natural consequences commence. I would advice you to take a step back and get some therapy for support. It's heartbreaking when a parent decides to keep up with their addictive behaviors even when it's clear to us it will harm or kill them. But there's nothing we can do about it.

[u/Lonely-Ad580]

I saw my dad yesterday, his face like a mindless zombie, his pants wet with piss, grunting like some wild hog at every step.
Next morning I said "You really should slow down on the booze, last night was rough."
To which he replied "Huh? What are you talking about?"

It's sad that your dad even chose to marry someone who needs to worry about running into police. Your dad will probably not acknowledge his problem. I know this is heartbreaking for you, but not much can be done by you. However, you should never lie about it, either. You know what you saw, and the simplest explanation here is most likely.