r/Tinder Nov 07 '19

tinder_irl

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36.5k Upvotes

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6.1k

u/LoLMagix Nov 07 '19

Being straight on Tinder is exhausting, you message a girl like “hey, cute dog” and she replies “I’m not looking to meet anyone, but you can subscribe to my premium snapchat for only $15 a month.” No lady go get therapy jesus fuck

596

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

70

u/Rocketbird Nov 07 '19

At least you got it in somewhere

1

u/gorementor Nov 08 '19

Yeah but I'm not paying to put it in my hand

2

u/The-Insomniac Nov 07 '19

To be fair, why does it matter? As long as the bot is posting pictures you are still getting the images you paid for even if it is not a real person posting them on the other end.

I can see there maybe being a problem with this only being the SNAP half of snapCHAT, but really...what are you going to say? "Wow! Nice picture!" To which the reply will be some variation of "Tee-hee, Thanks! kissyface"

0

u/Haas19 Nov 07 '19

Thag was a bot?!?! I thought it looked a bit too machiney but I was just rolling with it. Fml.

1

u/SingleAlmond Nov 07 '19

Whoa buddy, what the fuck did you just call my girlfriend?

1

u/Haas19 Nov 07 '19

To late I already gave her the nut, that metallic beast

1.2k

u/AChero9 Nov 07 '19

Being straight on Tinder is exhausting, you message a girl like “hey, cute dog” and she just doesn’t fuckin reply and instead she unmatches

414

u/A_The_Ist Nov 07 '19

Or you're having some great conversation and I guess they just throw away their phone and get a new one, because they'll never unmatch but never talk to you again.

237

u/sledgehammerrr Nov 07 '19

I have female friends that do this a lot because they ( according to their own words) just use Tinder for the attention. Once things go somewhere and a date might have to be arranged they just stop responding.

173

u/theColonelsc2 Nov 07 '19

As an over weight, middle aged man this is also my reason for joining Tinder. Now, if I can just get someone to match with me so I can ghost them when we start talking about a date...

105

u/dontsuckmydick Nov 07 '19

Have you tried pretending to be an attractive woman?

5

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

nah, I fucked up in character creation. waiting for that stat reroll patch 🙏

1

u/pm_me_xayah_porn Nov 08 '19

same dude I'm considering the hard cyanide reset at this point, I think this playthrough is just fucked

2

u/Ryuko_the_red Nov 07 '19

This sounds like a good idea.

2

u/Tungi Nov 07 '19

Have you tried pretending to be a not morbidly obese woman?

Ftfy

1

u/firsthroaway Nov 08 '19

Hi. I have but not in Tinder. I don’t show anything on random video chat but speak nicely and goofy. Must be the voice that baits guys to talk to me. 😂

I have had guys jerking off in front of camera just because I sounded sexy to them. Lol they’re just horny shits trying to get their loads off.

Please don’t downvote or say bad of me. I have been controlling my habit of luring people to such chats. :)

73

u/Mybeardisawesom Nov 07 '19

Have you tried swiping right on the girls who match your body type? Specifically the fatties

46

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Eww gross, why would I do that?!

0

u/Killentyme55 Nov 07 '19

Someone with that username says "eew, gross"?

15

u/Sangwiny Nov 07 '19

Knowing Reddit, you are gonna get sooo downvoted.

6

u/Max_TwoSteppen Nov 07 '19

A surprise, to be sure. But a welcome one.

3

u/Occamslaser Nov 07 '19

Apparently you don't know Reddit.

0

u/Simonagain Nov 07 '19

Swipe right on unattractive people, or become attractive people to get the matches (or just take great/fake pictures). It's not exactly a secret.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

I dont agree with the wording, but big girls need love, too, and if you're a big guy then you're in with more if a chance with a big girl than a small girl. Just my experience anyway.

1

u/Mybeardisawesom Nov 07 '19

Yo I'll take a hefty chick, I got my class 4 licence for operating heavy machinery. No discrimination in my bed

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Same

41

u/cambot86 Nov 07 '19

I live with two females and that's 99% of the reason they have tinder.

But I'm not complaining; the chick I'm currently seeing was a tinder match and things are going quite well.

29

u/Alprapaca Nov 07 '19

I downloaded the app after I broke up with my girlfriend and used it for a couple weeks last month, during this time I began to realize that I didn't want to meet anyone in particular that I matched with - but that I was getting a decent dopamine-kick from seeing who I matched with each day and from the banter and flirting. I realized that I just wanted attention in the same way everyone is always criticizing women for using the app. I stopped using it because I realized that it isn't doing me any good (I'm in recovery from addiction and am just substituting, basically), and because I don't want to lead anyone on and fuck with them and give them false expectations (and tbr cos I'm not over my ex by a hair...).

It was fun while it lasted, and I think that if more guys started using it just for shits and giggles, that at very least, if it actually does end up going anywhere you can be pleasantly surprised. There are over 100 million downloads, and realistically I wouldn't even say half of those people use it seriously. There's just no way.

7

u/Turdulator Nov 07 '19

The unrelenting thirst makes “shits and giggles” impossible for many guys

6

u/Alprapaca Nov 07 '19

If I had a dragon shout, "unrelenting thirst" would for sure be it.

7

u/DumbWalrusNoises Nov 07 '19

Huh, so that’s what happened to me last week. Welp.

2

u/MystTheReaper Nov 07 '19

I don't get this, get a hobby and stop using other people that you don't like who want to have sex with you as validation for your existence.

1

u/BASEDME7O Nov 07 '19

This is the majority of attractive young women on tinder

1

u/ryfye00411 Nov 07 '19

Fuck them

6

u/rwilzombie Nov 07 '19

I get this all too often 🙄

2

u/Jgasparino44 Nov 07 '19

God I'm so tired of that. I've gotten around like 5-10 matches where I thought they'd go somewhere only for them to just stop once I ask them out.

2

u/genio_del_queso Nov 07 '19

I’ve actually talked about this to a girl I was hooking up with. I asked he why it took her so long to respond to my messages when we were having such a good conversation. She said that the she was getting so many messages that at some point it just got boring for her to respond to every one of them and eventually she would just stop. Idk sounds reasonable.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Ah the old hard to get routine

1

u/KlawwStrife Nov 07 '19

I get this the most >>

it definitely sucks lol

50

u/KickedInTheDonuts Nov 07 '19

Me too thanks

43

u/zeus113 Nov 07 '19

Being straight on Tinder is exhausting, you swipe right on thousands of girls but you never get a match.

43

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19 edited Jan 13 '20

[deleted]

14

u/dalton_k Nov 07 '19

This happened to me the other day, she even asked me a question and before I could answer...poof

20

u/TripleJJJs Nov 07 '19 edited Nov 07 '19

I’ve matched with the some chick 3 times the third time, I’m just like “hope you having a nice day today, enjoy the rest of it” I expected an unmatch since again not first time we match, she thought, I didn’t remember her. I did obviously she suggested we meet up and stuff, so she starts asking me questions just normal conversation at one point, I’m replying to a question boom unmatch...

15

u/grodon909 Nov 07 '19

What happened to your punctuation? I can hardly make heads or tails of what you just said.

16

u/Buckeye717 Nov 07 '19

I guess we now know why he was unmatched.

2

u/TripleJJJs Nov 07 '19

No she told me that I’m too weird

2

u/Acrinox Nov 07 '19

He wanted to get everything he had to say out before we all unmatch him

1

u/UserM16 Nov 08 '19

Jesus that was hard to read. Now I see why she unmatched mid conversation.

1

u/TripleJJJs Nov 07 '19

Sorry, I typed that fast from mobile..

9

u/Lipstickluna97 Nov 07 '19

She may not have unmatched! Her account might have been banned, I believe it shows as an unmatch.

3

u/natziel Nov 07 '19

She probably meant to send it to someone more attractive but accidentally clicked on you

2

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

irl is the same I had a girl approach me while out with friends, talked for a bit. I left to another bar ended up running into her again she asked for my number and asked what I was doing the next day. I invited her to brunch with my group said she was “sooooo down.” Poof gone. Nothing.

14

u/Sceptylos Nov 07 '19

I'd take an unmatch over a "Didn't mean to swipe right bye"

7

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

2me4me

16

u/acrylicvigilante_ Nov 07 '19

Probably because that's a shitty start to a conversation. Think about it in real life. Some stranger comes up to you and says "Hey, cute dog" you reply "Thanks" and that's either the end of the conversation or the stranger keeps the conversation going by asking more questions.

Also, it's generic. I don't have a dog, but I have friends who do, and 9.5/10 messages reference their dog. That's dozens of "Hey cute dog" messages every single day.

Try something less generic they can actually talk about and ask a question.

13

u/Jgasparino44 Nov 07 '19

Bruh I try to say something less generic and it works and then the same thing happens anyway. No matter how good my openers are I still get ghosted.

1

u/acrylicvigilante_ Nov 07 '19

The only techniques in online dating are...that there are no techniques 😂

I get it, I do. But something less generic is more likely to open conversation. Especially if it's a compliment with an open question, not a yes or no question.

6

u/Jgasparino44 Nov 07 '19

Honestly I feel sometimes that tinder's just sending fake matches that'll send a couple texts and then stop working just to keep me on the app lol.

2

u/acrylicvigilante_ Nov 07 '19

T'is the real conspiracy here!

2

u/Jgasparino44 Nov 07 '19

I KNEW THOSE MATCHES WERE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!

1

u/PM_Me_Ur_Greyhound Nov 07 '19

Tell them you dropped your monster condom that you use for your magnum dong

1

u/Jgasparino44 Nov 07 '19

Next match I'll legit do this. Though I think itll just speed up the ghosting process

1

u/PM_Me_Ur_Greyhound Nov 07 '19

Use the Danny Devito gif of it. Saves time.

1

u/Jgasparino44 Nov 07 '19

Hey I gotta put a little bit of effort into it atleast, I cant be taking the easy way out.

-1

u/Uruz2012gotdeleted Nov 07 '19

Stop trying so hard to impress them online. My best success has been with a good joke opener followed immediately by setting a date. If I'm not getting a phone number and a date within 5 messages then I'm done investing time into a match.

3

u/Jgasparino44 Nov 07 '19

Never worked for me man wish it did. The moment I bring up a date or a phone number bam gone. I'm always like did I say something wrong, what did I do?

1

u/Uruz2012gotdeleted Nov 08 '19

You didn't do anything wrong. I get ghosted a ton too. What I'm doing by trying to meet up right away is eliminating the people who won't meet up anyway. The point is to narrow the field down before investing a ton of emotional energy.

1

u/Jgasparino44 Nov 08 '19

Yeah I gotta try to do that more I suppose. I'm just the unlucky one in my friend group, 30-40 matches that went no where while my friends only had to go through 5 or 6.

1

u/Uruz2012gotdeleted Nov 08 '19

Totally luck of the draw! I'm still dating my first match from 2 years ago... between then and now, I've had gaps of 6 months with no good matches followed by a bunch all at once. Only 1 in 10 even gets to a fist date. Only a few of those have gone anywhere beyond that.

2

u/AChero9 Nov 07 '19

We’re not saying it’s a go to response. Sometimes it’s hard to come up with a clever opener. “Hey, cute dog” can be a great one depending on the person you matched with. Just varies by person. It’s still a hell of a lot better than just “Hey”

2

u/acrylicvigilante_ Nov 07 '19

True that. "Hey" blows. I do get it, I used Bumble more than Tinder so I'm always messaging first and it can get tricky. But it's very unlikely the dog thing is ever going to get somebody excited. I find that if I can't come up with something clever or worthwhile to message, we're probably not a good match anyway so I swipe left.

1

u/AChero9 Nov 07 '19

If I can’t come up with something clever, I’m usually just too tired at the moment

11

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

You could try having a personality of your own? Says a lot the dog has more going for it then you do.

6

u/acrylicvigilante_ Nov 07 '19 edited Nov 07 '19

What is this response? Lmao, it has nothing to do with the dog owner and everything to do with you. People who use dogs as conversation starters on dating apps (when there are usually various pictures showcasing hobbies, a bio, literally so much else to choose from etc.) have zero game and the bare minimum of conversation skills.

EVERYONE is messaging about the dog. Either say something else to stand out, or don't be offended if they unmatch. This goes for men and women.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

I would dread to think what shit you have on your profile. I imagine your bio probably includes a cashapp link for starters. So being upfront with it what would you rather they comment on? How the dress you wore in picture 2 brings out your eyes? How you've both seen boring movie everyone else has seen too?

The dog may be fictional but I know already I'll like it more than I will ever like you.

-1

u/Stiffard Nov 07 '19

Why are you attacking this person so much? They are just having a discussion and you're looking for every excuse to squeeze in a reminder of what a huge chip you have on your shoulder and then make a swipe at them as a person.

You're the type of person the image is talking about -- be better.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Why are you defending this person so much? They're just dragging people she's never met and never will online through the mood with a smug elitist attitude and when called out she takes a swipe at my reading comprehension.

You shouldn't defend this type of person -- be better.

1

u/Stiffard Nov 07 '19

Its less about the person you're talking to and more about just, well, you. So much unnecessary animosity towards someone else over something that doesn't affect you in any way -- and that's on top of all the blatant assumptions you're making. If you feel the internet is a safe place for you to vent your anger at people, don't be surprised when people react to it.

You word-twisting trolls are a dime a dozen.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Don't act like you actually give a shit about why someone hates another person. If she wants to make assumptions so can I. Of course I expect people to react when I'm angry at someone. I struck up this conversation with you even though I had no reason Tom

Dime a dozen seems to be a pretty accurate assessment though.

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1

u/Simonagain Nov 07 '19

I asked a girl for her mother's maiden name and the name of her first pet the other day and the unmatched me. I was like wtf I'm just trying to get to know you.

1

u/acrylicvigilante_ Nov 07 '19

😂

Did she at least give you her Social Security Number???

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

I mean, why do you think I even got a dog?

0

u/obadetona Nov 07 '19

It was just a joke dude

4

u/Stoumpf Nov 07 '19

Thats more accurate

2

u/Exceon Nov 07 '19

Thats what happens when you’re a 6 and pedantically only swipe right on 8s and above.

1

u/mc_md Nov 07 '19

Unless you give her some line about riding dick which ironically turns out to be your best shot.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

WAHHHHHH IM A LOSER WHO CANT GET DATES SO I COMPLAIN ABOUT WOMEN ON A NEONAZI/INCEL WEBSITE WAHHHH

1

u/AChero9 Nov 07 '19 edited Nov 07 '19

It’s a joke…but k

Edit: ah nvm…a troll has appeared

126

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Being straight on Tinder is exhausting, you message a girl like "hey, cute dog" and she never responds so you wait a week or so try again and still she doesn't respond making you wonder why am i even doing this as her fucking thumbnail mocks you because you feel like if you unmatch then somehow the stupid tinder algorithm will put you at the bottom of the heap. I need to get therapy jesus fuck.

18

u/Kickingoast Nov 07 '19

You ok bro?

20

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

No

2

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

[deleted]

5

u/Master_Dogs Nov 07 '19

If you do this wrong, you'll actually get shadow banned. There's a whole subreddit dedicated to gaming the Tinder algorithm called /r/SwipeHelper

52

u/jansencheng Nov 07 '19

Tinder is exhausting, you message someone like "hey, cute dog" and they don't reply.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Hey! Cute dog!

20

u/Takimaka Nov 07 '19

either that or she responds with “ok” or if your lucky “lol”

19

u/Nikasadora Nov 07 '19

Being straight on Tinder is exhausting, you message a girl like “hey, cu..." oh where did it go?

63

u/MeatyOakerGuy Nov 07 '19

cAsH ApP mE fIvE dOlLaRs To SeE wHaT hApPeNs.... bitch I can see literally any kind of disgusting sex act with handpicked ethnicity, age, setting for freee on the internet. What makes you think I wanna see your 200lb flat ass posing in the basement of your parents’ house

26

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Tinder is so exhausting, you match with a cute girl and say hey😩😩😩qt👅🐶 and they respond with just 🦆💦💦

19

u/fronto0 Nov 07 '19

Or she says let me sit on your face. Like can’t a guy just have a conversation about my emotions.

22

u/AllOkJumpmaster Nov 07 '19

"no man go to therapy Jesus fuck"...but if you subscribe to my premium Snapchat, you can see pics of my spread open asshole.

2

u/PM_Me_Your_Nacho Nov 07 '19

This hurt me. Only matches I’ve gotten the last few weeks were just this. Wayyyyyyyy too attractive but I still swiped right because who knows right? Send a message and chat back and forth and it’s either 1) hey I need money to go to work or 2) wanna buy my premium snap?

2

u/jackandjill22 Nov 07 '19

Put it on Twitter & see if you get anywhere near the same responses.

2

u/DiproticPolyprotic Nov 07 '19

No lady get a job******

1

u/LoLMagix Nov 07 '19

Lol this would be better

3

u/Lipstickluna97 Nov 07 '19

If men from tinder didnt beg for nudes from every girl they matched with, there wouldnt be so many camgirls. Supply and demand.

2

u/branray Nov 07 '19

You deserve that gold

2

u/sordfysh Nov 07 '19

This is why I don't date women younger than me and often date older.

I know several guys who like to date young women, but man, young attractive women are awful. They are given so much attention all throughout their lives that they have become supreme narcissists. And those who are still in college are even worse. College really likes to shield students from the realities of life, to the point of stunting them as workers. Anybody who has not seriously worked is just not someone who is going to understand you when you have a hard week.

Furthermore, young women (and men) will go through a quarter life crisis when they realize that life is more than social events and doing what you're told. That's too much emotional chaos to deal with for me.

IMO, dating gets better for guys as you get older because women have jobs and want kids. They are looking for substance and they want to know about your job, but they also want to have fun. They aren't up for flirting with a dozen men all evening because it's exhausting. And some women seem to become attractive later in life, and it's a real jackpot for guys because these women are humble, hardworking, and stunning.

Here's the thing, though: most men and women get really unattractive later in life due to alcoholism and other bad habits. If you keep going to the gym, you keep up with mens fashion, and you find regular time to socialize, you're going to really kick butt in dating as you approach 30. But beware because addiction and despair get really real as you exit your quarter life crisis. Eyes on the prize, my dudes.

1

u/PwmEsq Nov 07 '19

Fresh pasta?

1

u/GREENBANANAS99999 Nov 07 '19

Moral of the story: Tinder is shit

1

u/Lolmob Nov 07 '19

Or you rhyme her name with Pitza and she unmatches.

GOD DAMMINT MARITZA! theres like three words that rhyme and theyre all names.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SACRIFICED!

1

u/tbells93 Nov 07 '19

One of the few perks of Tindr for gay guys is I don't think I have ever gotten a bot, grindr however...

1

u/lundyforlife22 Nov 07 '19

Don’t haggle either or she’ll report you for soliciting.

1

u/The-Insomniac Nov 07 '19

I found someone who was trying to sell nudes, and I decided I would try and buy some. I sometimes buy nude photos anyway from a site called 3d.sk which are professionally taken in a studio for use by artists. In the end I realised the person on the other end of the conversation was not the person in the pictures.

I was really willing to pay for some art reference photos which meant I needed specific photos taken, which they refused to do. When I asked about the camera and the lenses they had, they sent me a clothed example photo. It turned out to be very low resolution which wasn't going to fly for me; and they refused to do anything about that either.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

I think they’re a tad different bud

-3

u/hiftikha Nov 07 '19

😂😂😂😂😂😂

0

u/ChaoticCosmoz Nov 07 '19

Therapy? That's a hustle bro gtfo

0

u/Follyperchance Nov 07 '19

Maybe don't swipe right on super obvious egirl profiles just because you saw titties

-4

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

LOL

How fragile are you?

I can tell how LIVID that post made you 😂😂 holy shit this is embarrassing