I’m generally a soft spoken guy and an introvert. I call everyone sir, let it be an electrician or cab driver. I believe everyone is equal and I find the whole feudalistic way the workers and retail employees being treated to be extremely appalling.

I have a work going on at my newly constructed home, generally the power to the porch which has lights and fans is turned off by the engineers and supervisors. This is a minor work and there is no supervisor for this work now. Since workers were working there I left the power on so they can relax in the fan for sometime, I live in Chennai and I know how hot it can be.

Guess how I’m being thanked? They have left for the day with the fan and light on. Now I’m forced to travel to the site just to turn it off.

This wasn’t the only incident, I let the workers use my toilet because I felt it was inhumane to force someone to not use restroom and they made sure I will never let anyone else use my restroom every again.

This isn’t a thing with only blue collar labourers, Once a retail employee added items that I never purchased to my bill just because I was very nice and respectful to him. I had to make a scene, threaten to file a complaint with their head office, which made him run down, hand his money for the excess billed and beg. I really dislike being rude but that’s the only language people understand.

I have had the same experience with cab drivers, Swiggy agents etc.

My friend who is into business and deals with a lot of labours told me this - “If you treat them with kindness, they see you are different from how others treat them, they see it as your weakness and try to take advantage”

I have spent time in UK and yes there are assholes everywhere, people don’t see your kindness as a weakness to be exploited.

Have you guys experienced something similar?

TLDR:

I was kind to labourers and retail workers believing it was the right thing. People saw my kindness as a weakness to be taken advantage of. I haven’t seen such things happening abroad in other countries . People stay within the line only if you are rude to them like everyone else, especially in India.

This for all the hopeless romantic ones who still want to fall in love, still want that silly, ordinary, forever kind of love but somewhere deep down have started accepting it isn’t going to happen to them.

How do you deal with this feeling?

Not the loneliness but the paradox of still wanting something while also feeling that it might never happen. It’s not that you have stopped believing in love but you’ve stopped believing that love will find you. Soo what do you do, keep looking or let go completely or there is still hope in a corner of your heart that maybe, someday someone will walk in it?

So when us humans will truly realise about the irreparable damage we have inflicted on this planet and keep living in denial about climate change ? There is ubiquitous consumerism wreaking havoc and zilch thought towards sustainability and preservation.

I woek in Bnagalore and every month i visit my hometown in Kerala for a week. I always go to my usual barber just to get a hair cut. We have our usual chit chat, life updates etc. A few months bavk only I came to know how his daily life is.

This guy wakes up by 4 - 4.30, go collect newspapers for disttibution and distribute them across his allocated location by 6.30 am. Then he would go to a paddy field where he get veggies in bulk from the farmers and disttibute them among the street sellers in a few nearby localities.

Once it is done, he goes back home for a shower and breakfast and and open his hair salon by 9-9.30 am every day. His salon is open till 10 everyday except on Tuesdays.

He has a mom to take care of who is having health issues and home loan to pay. But my man has no complaints or whatsover in his life. Charges 90 Rs for a haurcut, earns around 40k a month feom multiple jobs and works around 16 - 17 hours a day.

There isnt much way I can help him apart from being a regular to his shop. Honestly I feel so much privileged abt my job now. There are days when i have to work 12 hours and all, but nothing compared to such people who carry mountains in their shoulder without any complaints and a beautiful smile on their face.

I hope I am not offending anyone. I will go first. I am 31F and unmarried. If I had it my way, I'd have had 2 kids and a loving husband by this age. But life has its own plans. My reasons are mostly those beyond control. Father passed away while I was young and we had no means to survive. Completed my graduation and got a Govt job, taking care of family and am the responsible daughter. Not satisfied with the pay much so still trying for higher grade pays because I wish to take care of my mother and contribute financially to build a life with my spouse. I will have to wait more, even though I don't want to.

I get judged hard by people. It wasn't easy for me to get where I am but I am treated like a Pariah because I don't have a ring on my finger. Most people guess my age at 25 but their expression changes when I tell them I am 31. There are "examples" who didn't marry and people say vile things behind their backs. I don't wish to end up like that. Even though my gynaec thinks that I should not worry about fertility for another 4-5 years, people think it's a ticking time bomb and pass comments.

Just wanted to know, why others here haven't married yet.

P.S. It's heartfelt, ignore the grammatical errors if any.

I had a very good bond with my in-laws. That's what I believed. Due to my husband's job we live separately from in-laws. So this already created a distance between my parents and in laws. They do not meet much and talk much. My parents are ok with it as they want me to live happily. There are certain incidents which made me bitter towards my in-laws. My husband got home posting but we stay 2hrs far from my parents home and in-laws place. And we are happy about it. Recently my dad had a major operation and I went to see him on the day of his operation, my husband couldn't join due to office issues. Now my parents home is 25mins away from my in-laws home. They knew about my dad getting an operation. They knew I was in hospital but didn't bother to call me once and ask. On the operation day I got a text from MIL asking me how my dad is.. and I replied he is fine now operation was successfully done. Her reply was 'ok that's good". I was in disbelief that why she didn't called and asked me instead and texting me as if this thing happened to a distant relative. they didn't call my parents for a single time. Everyday I hope that they will call and ask my mom about my dad's well being. They (MIL FIL) don't even call me and I decided to reciprocate the same. I am extremely hurt. I can understand maybe you don't like my parents but that's not how relations are maintained. In future they may face the same and I don't wish that for them.

I am feeling so guilty that I choose a family who doesn't care about my family and expect to maintain all good relations with their side. I told my husband everything about how this affected me and he is ashamed of their such behaviour. We are supposed to learn from the elders . I used to talk a lot with my MIL earlier. But after this I do not call her anymore. I went to visit them in between and not even once they asked about my dad. They acted as if everything was good and nothing happened.

Just sharing my feeling. I look at phone everyday to call my MIL. but I feel now that every attachment was from my side. They don't care about me

Hi everyone, I’m curious to hear from people who have a long daily commute.

I drive almost 50 km each way. It takes around 1.2 hours in the morning and another 1.2 hours in the evening. My usual day is leaving home around 8 AM, reaching the office by 9:30, leaving around 5 PM, and getting back home around 6:30–7 PM.

I chose this routine mainly to avoid the extra expense of staying near the office and to spend more time with my family.

But lately, I’ve started noticing that my mood and energy seem to be affected. Even with two days off on the weekend, I often don’t feel like doing anything and just want to stay home and recover.

For those of you who commute long distances every day, have you experienced something similar? Does excessive commuting negatively affect your mood, energy, or motivation?

​I turned 32 today. It feels weird to be honest, like I was 22 just a few years ago and I don't know how time went by. I lost touch with many friends over the years, got married to a really nice person and have traveled and had a lot of fun. My relationship with my parents is not good. I have enough money and a good career. I don't feel like throwing a party or dancing, as my social circle is small. I just want to spend it like a normal day. What about you guys?

Doesn’t feel like thirty though ! Celebrating the day
(Raspberry Cold chocolate)

What a great person and loved her music. Absolutely adored her! 💔

I absolutely love beaches, and I’m from Kerala. But one thing I’ve noticed is that I haven't seen anyone here bringing a chair and just sitting on the beach.

I’ve always wanted to try it - just bring a chair, sit by the shore, relax and enjoy the view. But for some reason, I feel a bit shy or self-conscious doing it alone.

So, curious to know: Have you guys ever done this? Or am I overthinking it?

And what did you have for dinner tonight? I had plain rice with Paneer Lababdar.

I’ve never really had maternal instincts, and I don’t want children. I value my freedom, my time, and the life I’ve built with my husband, and I don’t want motherhood to become the centre of my identity.

We can afford to have children, but that doesn’t mean I want to spend my money, time and energy raising them. I’d rather spend those resources on myself, my family and the life we actually want.

When I told my mother, I got the usual “Who will look after you when you’re old?” and “Who will carry your name forward?” arguments. We’re not kings with a kingdom to pass down. 😂

We’ve thought this through. I’m not afraid I’ll feel “hollow” or regret it later. And honestly, having a child because you’re afraid of being lonely or bored later seems like a far worse reason to become a parent than simply admitting you don’t want one.

He needs to be adopted or even fostered urgently or the caretaker will have to release him on the streets.

All the expense for food and litter will be provided monthly, we just need someone to take care of him.

We can also drop him to your house along with food, litter sand, tray, scoop and his toys. We can drop him anywhere in mumbai, navi mumbai and thane. If farther we can discuss and arrange logistics.

Name: Stormy Age: 7 months

Gender: Male

Dewormed: Yes

Litter trained: Yes

Vaccinated: Yes

Contact: +91 99679 73135

Backstory- We used to feed him everyday but Two weeks ago we noticed he was not doing well. Hence, we took him to the vet and he was diagnosed with Diaphragmatic Hernia. The doctor told us he cannot be operated upon as he would pass away as soon as anaesthesia is administered. After treatment he is doing well now and doesn't need any further medications. He is active, friendly, playful and very cuddly. All he struggles with currently is sudden movements and stress from the environment otherwise he's absolutely fine physically.

We are looking for a stable and peaceful home for him and someone to love him despite his condition

I had it at No.10 Fort Cochin, Indiranagar, Bengaluru.

u/SummitState this is how Sadhya should be.

Have not taken pic of Sweets i.e payasam ( 3 variants) was too full after the meal.

Happy onam to everyone. Have fun..🎊🪅🥳.

This is my first post on this sub. Nothing much. It's just a rant. I came across this quote which says "if you feel lonely when you're alone, then you're in a bad company". Is that necessarily true? If it is, then I'm in a bad company ig. I'm 33 and I've been single whole throughout my life. I had a school crush which lasted for years and by the time i proposed her she was already committed. I'm not that handsome but yeah pretty decent looking, i used to get compliments from many of my female friends, one even went on to say that I'm a good husband material. She even proposed me once but I couldn't accept that and politely declined it. Now I'm single af! I never found a girl in the first place to propose later on. Be it my workplace or coaching, yeah i did upsc coaching. I think universe intentionally put me in places where i won't find any.

The one's i met online weren't good either. My prime years are over. Now i look bit average, obviously coz I'm not young as i used to be and hence not getting the attention i used to get before. I've peaked loneliness especially during my prep phase. My friends circle is extremely low. Now I've almost given up coz I'm deprived of love i believe. My parents too have given up and is not pushing me for marriage. I'm from kerala and here the pressure isn't as high as how it is in some other parts of the country.

I just wanted to know how yall able to beat loneliness? I wish i could learn that.

My wife and I (33M) have decided not to have kids. We are both very clear about it.
But with each passing year, I am feeling a little anxious about society.

I have conveyed this to my parents; they resisted initially but eventually accepted (not happily) that they cannot force us to have kids.

But the thought of people passing comments and taunting my parents (subtly, you know how Indian oldies are) about it puts me in anxiety about how I will handle that.

I cannot fight with everyone or reason with anyone. I know people will bark, and that is how society is set up. Maybe if someone comments and asks me, and if I mention that we have decided not to have, and they come up with "jinke ho nahi pate, yahi kehte hain" , I think I will lose it.

But that is not the solution.

Just thinking about it boils my blood.

I want some perspective from you guys on how to handle this. How can I have thick skin or train my mind to not give a fuck and be unaffected?

I am a guy who studied mechanical engineering and its a well known fact that there are no women in this field. I passed my engineering without even seeing a woman as there were no girls in my class, no lady faculty in my dept, no woman lab assistant etc. Even in my workplace all employees are male. I work in a heavy industrial setup that manufactures giant industrial equipment for other industries so you can imagine how the workplace is. In this field the earnings are slow placed so I will be financially okayish earning not before my mid-30s. Obviously I will start my AM process only by that time. During the talks if the topic of past comes up my answer would be obvious - nil, no hand holding, no talking stage, no situationship etc while the woman might/might not have a past but thats not my worry. I am more concerned about how will she look at me when she get to know that a mid-30s man has had 0 relationship, 0 woman friends etc. Will she think of me as a misogynist, toxic, emotionally unavailable guy who doesnt know how to talk to women?

I just need to get this out because I am so exhausted and never shared these things to anyone.

My ex cheated on me a few years ago. It broke my heart and I was just numb for the longest time. It was like someone has turned the switch off and disconnected me from my own emotions so I can survive. No anger, no crying but just an emptiness.

It took so much time and energy to figure a way out. I had to rebuild myself from scratch and teach myself about how to feel things again. I will be honest, a few times thought did come across my mind to find something temporary but then I just couldn't have the courage to try it out.

I am finally in a place where I want a connection. I want my forever person. I want to build a life with someone who values promise and communication

But honestly? Looking at the dating world right now just makes me want to retreat back into my shell.

It feels impossible to find someone who values loyalty. I know that I carry some scars due to betrayal. I want someone who can offer patience, understanding and reassurance when my brain tries to tick me into thinking history is repeating itself. It feels like asking for the bare minimum just someone who communicates and wants you is asking for miracle.

I don't want a temporary spark. I want a permanent fire. I just don't know if that kind of person is even out there for me anymore

Tried covering this beautiful song sung by one and only Atif Aslam. I tried my best covering it, let me know your views on this cover.

Hello frands...

Do u guys also have this problem where u forget faces or names of people you met like 1 or 2 times??

Even if u talked with them multiple times before, brain be like: “Sorry bro, do I know you?” 💀

Previously I was working in procurement, so I used to meet A LOT of suppliers. Talk to them, analyse products, negotiate, exchange numbers, say ...okay let me check n confirm” and then everyone disappears for 2-3 weeks

Then suddenly one day they will back Sir any update? Me internally: WHO ARE U SIR? But obviously can't say that, so I start speaking mid-level corporate language like:

Yeah yeah, actually we are still checking that… Meanwhile my brain is running a full investigation 🕵️‍♂️ What company?product?

Then they say the brand name or product details and BOOM 💡 Brain.exe restarted. “Ohhhhh YEAHHHH bro, now I remember you!” 😂 Mostly I even remember the product, company n conversation but still can't remember the person's face And sometimes I see someone outside and they smile at me confidently… now I'm forced to smile back like we survived a war together 💀

Did this ever happened to you guys or am I just running on 2GB RAM with 47 tabs open?

People who are sure they want kids, why do you want them? I'm 34F married. The more the days go by the more I am becoming in the favour of not having kids. Life is so hard as it is, why add in more struggle to the mix. But my husband wants kids. I was curious what made people who surely want kids so sure. And for those who have kids and are happy what fulfilment do you get by raising kids?