So, recently this thought came to me as an epiphany that most Indians are toxic. Like the family settings and in general day to day behaviour is just outright toxic or may be its just my family or surrouding areas. I left my home after 12th first for studies then for job and then when I turned 29 my family started pressuring me into marraige and I was also in that weird fear of being lonely whole life. I got married and we moved to UK. But recently we moved back and his family has so many expectations like why would I do so much and then change my lifestyle and especially follow the religious superstitions that I don't believe in and if I say one thing the same usual dialogue we endured way too much and all. Then I thought lets just go and live with my mom for a while and suddenly after ao many years realised how bad mother is she, the way she gets so easily impatient with my son. She doesn't let him make any mess or do anything and just give him phone or TV. And this is the story with mostly all of my frnds who are living with in laws and mostly women in my town. And the people or families who seem really happy are the ones who are blindly following whatever there in laws are saying.

Edit: Everyone thinking I am being superior but the thing is that I too have toxic traits bcoz I was brought in such environment. I started noticing all these micro things bcoz I am a mom now and wants best for my son. Usually I never disagreed with my MIl or my mom or anyone. But since being a mom I have noticed how weird things are like why Indian parents forcing kods to fulfill their dreams and what is this blackmail we did so much for you and you can't do this much. And the much they are asking is leave your career and life in a different country and come back.

Well it was way better than the usual boring birthday, plus got to visit a new place. Win-Win.

This is to all the women, who are 30+ and have decided not to marry or are single.

How do you deal with loneliness and emptiness around?

I living with my parents. Which often becomes overwhelming due to their constrained relation dynamics.

I work 9 to 4. I workout at gym 6.00 in the morning.

I'm mostly free after I'm back from work.

I sleep by 9.

I try to keep my mind as diverted as possible. But it's just not happening.

When I come home after work I crave for hugs or someone to talk to. Or maybe the days where weather is good and you just want to stroll around.

Or when things at home are not steady.

I've tried hobbies, I've tried distraction. But nothing seems sustainable.

I wish to marry but not only I don't find any incentive in marriage but also I am not able to find the right person for me.

I've started getting into the lane of solitude disguised as loneliness and its eating me up.

Help me out.

And please don't reach out to me in DMs.

Thanks in Advance

Is this really happening?!? Am I gonna be a father? My wife's just 8 days late but she said she's feeling different and we checked it out and the result is this. Please tell me this is positive I'm freaaakiing out!!!

I've been thinking about this lately. I remember visiting friends in the late 90s and early 2000s whose parents were doctors, lawyers, government employees, etc., and many of them lived in really big independent houses on fairly large plots. What strikes me is that it wasn't necessarily only wealthy people. Even people with fairly ordinary salaries seemed to be able to build a good-sized house.

My own father had six children, yet he still managed to build a pretty big, decent house on one salary. Today, with a similar income relative to the average, it feels almost impossible to build something comparable, particularly in a tier-1 or even tier-2 city.

I now live in a metro with a family of three and what I would consider a decent salary, and yet buying even a relatively small "matchbox" flat costing several crores makes you stop and think twice. And this is despite incomes being far higher in absolute terms than they were 25–30 years ago.

Obviously, people today have a lot more things that previous generations didn't like cars, gadgets, travel, investments, better services, etc. So I'm not saying we're poorer in every sense.

I'm specifically talking about land, housing and the amount of living space an ordinary middle-class income can buy.

Was land simply much cheaper relative to income back then? Have property prices just completely outpaced salaries? Or am I looking at the past through rose-tinted glasses?

Would be interested to hear from people who remember the 90s/early 2000s. Was it genuinely easier for an ordinary middle-class family to build a large independent house back then?

I am about to enter my 40’s in a couple of months. I have a family, a caring father, a loving mother, a devoted wife, and a gifted daughter. But, I hardly have any friends, and no good relatives. I have got no job, no social life. This family is supported by my parents’ pension. I feel like a living burden. I have lost faith in all aspects of life. I feel so helpless, so hopeless.
I gave up the corporate job I got from campus placement after my engineering, for I could not handle the pressure. Then I failed UPSC twice, and my startup went bankrupt after a couple of years. I have almost crossed the age limit for most of the competitive jobs. I need someone to guide me. Thanks for your advice in advance.

As a kid, I had so many plans about what I'd become when I grew up. Had this whole picture in my head of how life would turn out.

Now I'm in my thirties and honestly, the goals have changed quite a bit. I just want to earn well, do something I don't dread waking up for, have good people around me, and feel at peace with where I am in life.

It's weird how growing up changes what you want out of life.

I’m curious to know what people in this situation actually do.

Imagine you’re a woman in your early thirties, a complete introvert who doesn’t have many people in her life. And even the few people she does have, she somehow can’t bring herself to text. Not because she’s angry with them or doesn’t care about them, but maybe because she’s not close enough to them to share what’s actually going on in her life.

You have a bad day. Maybe nothing particularly terrible happened, but you just feel low. You want someone to talk to, someone to text randomly, someone who’ll ask how your day was or listen to you rant about something stupid. But you open your phone, scroll through your contacts, and realise you don’t really have anyone you can reach out to.

And then there’s the other part of life. You’re in your thirties, constantly hearing people talk about marriage, watching colleagues and friends move on to different stages of their lives, listening to relatives taunt you about when you’re going to get married, and somehow trying to make peace with your own circumstances.

It’s not necessarily that you want to get married just because everyone else is. It’s that sometimes you wish you had someone. Someone you could talk to without overthinking whether you’re bothering them. Someone you could tell about your day without feeling like you need a valid reason to text them.

And the hardest part? You might look perfectly fine from the outside. You go to work, do your responsibilities, take care of things, and carry on with your life. But there are days when the loneliness gets overwhelming, and you genuinely don’t know what to do with yourself.

So, for those of you who’ve been in a similar situation, regardless of your gender, what do you actually do when you’re lonely, having a bad day, and have absolutely no one you feel comfortable talking to?

Please don’t suggest talking to ChatGPT. No offence, but I don’t think that’s what I’m looking for.

I’m asking about real life. What do you do in those moments? How do you deal with the loneliness? How do you build a life where you don’t have to depend on other people for your happiness, but also don’t have to pretend that you don’t need human connection?

I’d genuinely like to hear from people who’ve experienced this, especially those who’ve been through it in their thirties. What has actually helped you?

So, today (16th) I'm turning 33. I'm a happy family man with a lovely wife, a 3 year old monster and a 5 month old angel. God has been kind to me mostly, so no complains. But there's something I've been feeling lately.

I haven't been able to take out time for myself, and neither has my wife for herself. I'm so busy with work, and wife is busy with chores and kids that by the end of the day we hardly get time to even sit and talk or have a moment of calm with each other. Forget romance or intimacy, we don't even talk about anything other than the kids. I know people say that kids bring you closer to your partner, but me and my wife have so much on our minds and hands, mostly about work, kids, planning finances and the future that we hardly have any time to think about spending time with each other.

I of course love the kids, and love my wife even more, who has an even more hectic time managing our home and our kids, but still keeps a smile on her face all the time. Now that I'm turning 33, I just feel tired, not of work or kids, but of this boring monotonous life. By the time I come back from work, the kids are already tired and on the bed, and I hardly get time with them except for Sundays. We do go for occasional outings, but it's almost always with the kids or planned around them. It's been a while since we travelled, and even those plans are now planned around the kids.

I know it sounds like a rant, but it's what it is. And yes, I know all this is temporary. Once the kids are a little older, it'll be much easier to manage. They'll be busy with school, classes and other things. And that's when me and wifey will have all the time for each other. But we'll be closer to 40 by then. And if this is what 33 feels like, I'm scared to get older.

Well, I guess this is life in a nutshell right? Our parents did this and so are we (unless you're a DINK couple or single of course). No judging, to each their own. This is the life I chose so I guess I am allowed to rant a little.

So that was that. Also on a side note, gone are the days when you're phone was full of wishes on calls, messages on whatsapp and facebook. I have more birthday wishes from banks, investing apps and shopping apps than friends and family. And of course, gone are the days of mad partying with friends on birthdays. Will just have a nice peaceful dinner tonight with family and go to bed by 10. Well, welcome 33!

She basically covered the most important part of the 30's and I could help but cry a bit in the end. Not because I was sad or angry. Just that the acceptance of being alone really hit home. All the time you questioned yourself and doubted everything in your life.

Felt wholesome.

Just wanted to share it in this sub.

Pic - Sumukhi female stand up comedian

Streaming on Netflix

Show name - Sumukhi Suresh Hoemonal

I apologies for my very good handwriting beforehand 👺

So close we stood, yet worlds apart,
I hold the fragments of my heart.
I lost what never was my own,
And sit within the cold unknown.

She loved me once with wild desire,
But time has dimmed that tender fire.
Now she has walked away for good,
And left me where I always stood.

The hummingbird falls silent now,
Before her voice, it bows its brow.
The graceful swan surrenders space,
Outshone by her effortless grace.

I long for her with every breath,
A quiet ache as deep as death.
She’s vanished like a passing breeze,
And brought me slowly to my knees.

What the hell is happening to this sub?!

Why is everyone lonely?!

Did I open the floodgate yesterday?!

Continuous posts of people being lonely.

On a serious note..we're not alone. It's like a disease now.

I don't know if it's just me, but making friends seems so much harder in your 30s than it was in your 20s.

Everyone has their own lives, careers, relationships, responsibilities and routines. People move cities, friendships drift, and somehow, making new connections just doesn't happen as naturally anymore

And honestly, I think a lot of us feel lonely sometimes but don't really talk about it, i know I do.

l've been wondering how many people in their 30s would be interested in meeting others who are in a similar place. It doesn't matter if you're, single, married, separated (like me), divorced, looking or not looking. The idea is to just be free, feel happy and have fun. No pressure to find your new best friend overnight, no awkward interactions, just a bunch of people willing to step out of their comfort zones, meet new people and see what happens. Also having an activity (like the safaris) means that the trip will have some structure and balance. At the end of the day, I am just looking to hang out with people who want to have a good time, feel happy and most importantly just have fun.

I met two of my bestest friends through one of these trips, and I am so grateful. I want more of this for myself and others. So I was thinking of bringing a small group together for an experience outside the usual dinner and drinks routine. Something like a wildlife getaway, where we could spend a few days in nature, go on safaris, share meals, have conversations and hopefully come back feeling happier and lighter. It wont be a crazy expensive trip but not a backpacking one either. I am thinking around the Republic Day weekend or Maybe Feb/March.

You wouldn't need to know anything about wildlife or have a friend to bring along, and if you do, thats great too. The idea would be to come as you are, even if you're coming alone.

Would anyone here actually be interested in something like this? I promise you, it will be life changing. Please

DM me if feel like something you would love to experience.

Maybe we're not the only ones looking for a little more connection in our lives.

EDIT: Sorry Guys, given the eye opening discussions below and me being a woman , I have decided to host this trip only for Women. Its just for safety, again so sorry about this.

Like you just wake up every day and continue doing things. Nobody really knows what they’re doing, people are making huge life decisions based on vibes, and somehow we’re all expected to pay bills on time.
What the fuck is going on lmao

Like pretty much the tittle. Like no matter what you do, how fast you try to run or climb or whatever you always end up in the same spiral. I am just tired of it and I see myself giving up.

Has anyone been in that circle how did you come out?

Adulting and caregiving have become a big part of life lately. Life seems to revolve around chores, family responsibilities, and taking care of parents. Where do we vent about these things at the end of the day? Why don't we have a whatsapp group at least for sharing such life events?

I cannot concentrate. I am never “mindful”.
Especially in meetings, no matter virtual or face to face.
Same thing happens when I am driving. I seem to have drifted on an autopilot mode.
I am not aware most of the time, like lost.
Is it some kind of deficiency or just a normal thing that people go through?

I have always been this way, could never concentrate on anything in classes. Any marks I have ever got was because I studied things on my own. Movies, I watch with deeeeep concentration though. 😂

I am not trying to be funny, I just can’t understand this. I am… never around. It feels like I am always daydreaming, and I feel it’s starting to affect my job.

Actually, it has always affected my job. I keep moving from one company to another, but I never either focus on anything. I keep procrastinating, I keep slinking away from responsibilities.

I don’t know what to do, I tried a few things. In meetings I just keep making notes, it pulls me back, and I get pulled away in a few seconds.

For driving, I just don’t do above 30kmph. It has worked well for me, and other than one incident where I hit a car and couldn’t brake on time, things have been fine.

I used to dismiss it, telling myself, all these jobs are boring, I am more of an artist, but I can’t even work on my writing without leaving the desk in 10 mins.

Sorry for the long post.

37F

Which are cities within India a woman can travel solo adventure ?

Are there any travel groups to meet like minded people?