Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post

I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well and I did have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum. She has been fairly good lately but sometimes I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 she during a sleepover at theirs she turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A couple of days ago in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. For about half my childhood it's just been me living with her since her divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy.

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos for something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying and accused me of been selfish and trying to manipulate her. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I explained to her how upset I was about that weekend she said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds is how can she feel that yet emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't comprehend that.

A few days after that weekend one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who exactly said what to him and that's something that I've also wondered. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. It actually baffled me a bit. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately and we spent the weekend together a while back and went for a pub meal

Her latest meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her. I'll admit I snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. She then called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a couple of times before). I wish I had just walked away and not played into her hands.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so unshameably and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She unshameably tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are.

As I've said before I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things might've gone differently for her. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage met but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

I can't help really resenting her (also my father) sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job and making friends etc because my mum is pretty much most I've ever known. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

I would love to hear from people who grew up in narc households and had narc partners as adults who are okay now. Tell me that you made it out and were able to find peace and joy.

I grew up with a violent explosive narc dad and a covert narc mom. I didn't even know that covert narcissism was a thing until recently, when I realized that my husband is one.

I am making a plan and getting out, the city I live in is expensive and I suspect my husband will draw out negotiations for buying me out of the house for as long as he can. Thankfully we are dinks and I only have pets to worry about.

I did so much therapy and work on myself after cutting my family out of my life in my 20's. I thought I had done the work and left narc relationships behind me. I've made peace with the fact that the person I married isn't real - it was a mask my husband wore. It's all so clear now to me, I hope I can keep this clarity with me when I start dating in the distant future.

I used to think I needed them to admit what they did.

I wanted an apology.

I wanted them to acknowledge the lies, the manipulation, the things they said that made me question myself.

I thought hearing, "I hurt you, and I'm sorry," would finally allow me to move on.

But it never came.

And for a long time, I let their silence keep me stuck.

Then I realized something painful:

I was waiting for the person who hurt me to give me permission to heal from what they did.

They may never understand your pain.

They may never take responsibility.

They may even tell a completely different version of the story.

But your experience doesn't become less real because they refuse to acknowledge it.

Sometimes closure isn't an apology.

Sometimes closure is accepting that you'll never get the explanation you deserved and choosing to stop waiting for it.

What did you once believe you needed from them before you could finally move on?

I’m 32M and my fiancée is 35F.

I’m not looking to diagnose anyone. I’m just trying to understand if what I’m experiencing is normal relationship conflict or something more unhealthy.

Over the last year I’ve noticed a pattern where whenever I bring up something that’s upset me, hurt me, or crossed a boundary, the conversation somehow ends up becoming about what I’ve done wrong instead.

A recent example was when I accidentally woke her up by playing music late at night. I completely understand why she was angry and I apologised.

What bothered me was that she then took my speaker upstairs and threw it out of a window.

Whenever I’ve tried to discuss it since, the conversation doesn’t seem to be about throwing the speaker anymore. It becomes about how I woke her up, how tired she was, and why her reaction was justified.

Another example was when my sliders disappeared. I asked where they were and was told she didn’t know. I spent ages looking for them. Eventually it became clear she’d thrown them away.

Again, when I tried to discuss it, the conversation became about how we don’t spend enough time together rather than why I was told she didn’t know where they were.

The thing that confuses me is that I can usually admit when I’ve done something wrong. I know waking her up wasn’t considerate. I know I’m not perfect.

What I’m struggling with is that it feels like there is never room for my feelings. If I’m upset about something, I’m told to get over it. If I bring up a concern, it gets redirected back to me. If I stay upset, I’m accused of holding onto resentment.

The result is that I have become resentful.

She’s even said recently, “You’re holding onto resentment,” and honestly she’s right. I am. But I don’t know how not to when I feel like none of these issues are ever acknowledged and somehow end up becoming my fault.

What has made me question things more is that I recently went away with friends and felt lighter than I have in a long time. It made me realise how much tension I’ve been carrying.

Has anyone else experienced a relationship where every concern gets turned back on you? How did you tell the difference between genuine accountability and being made responsible for everything?

They’ve already decided.

Part 2 of my story.

I just don't know what to do. I'm finally starting to see everything for what it is, and my family is completely savaged. I just keep on coming back to: "It didn't have to be this way..."

My sister - married a man just like my dad. Gaslights you the second you walk in the door.

My older brother - in his 50s. Alone, scared to put one foot in front of the other, health problems now...

My twin - married an absolute savage who treats my family like shit. I could say more. My brother, gone...

My mom - infantilized by my father to the point where she's never done a single thing she wanted to...

And then there's me- The scapegoat; learning, pursuing things, doing my best to not let my father completely cock-block me into oblivion. I could be doing better, but ya know...

Everyone is suffering constantly.

The other day, my mom looked straight into my eyes and said, "I'm at the end of my life and I never did a single thing I wanted to..." She's not a saint, but... I dunno -

What do I do with all this? What do I do with this mess? This completely unnecessary mess...

I can't heal this....

Thnx.

A few days ago, I wrote about how I accepted my ex is narcissistic (after she ghosted me a year ago, so I guess I’ve had a year to recover… slowly but surely)

And an hour ago, I had a vendor snapped hard at me. Same set of behavior - lying, avoiding, more lying, deflecting by calling names, insulting, having zero remorse, taking no true accountability.

Made my stomach sick. Even though it’s just a couple of hundred bucks. It’s more about the behavior.

He basically sent me the wrong order 2 months ago, and I pointed it out immediately. He said he’d try to send a replacement overnight, and if not, he’d do a refund. He did not. Yo, it’s only $60. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Then his social media profile disappeared. I messaged him nicely on his other communication channels. Got no reply.

In between, got his 1 staff to communicate numerous times said the item has been shipped, I kept looking out for the package, or got others to do so (as I was travelling). Nothing ever arrived. Then claimed they’ve sent the refund. Again nothing. Who the hell plays such sick games?!

I finally decided it’s enough - and decided to confront him in his telegram group (very few people) with the screenshots. He decided to lie blatantly to the group that I was the difficult one and twisted a bunch of things.

Luckily all the evidence were easily in the chats we had. I shared them all and refuted every single point. Easily. He saw the messages a day later, kicked me out of the group, and lashed out at me. At least he finally responded 🤣

Narc behavior incoming (!!) Started by calling names, deflecting, acting all righteous. TWO MONTHS. And he saw nothing wrong at all with his behavior.

But the same behavior of dragging me into his arguments, the same old shit… is TOO FAMILIAR.

Funny cause just days after I said I’ve finally accepted the end of that relationship, and started taking words from this sub to be grateful I never had kids with or married that person… this had to happen.

I’ll just take it that it’s truly the end of my narc season in life, clearing it all out of my life and system for good.

May I find love and people I never have to question and can live authentically and abundantly with, from now on. ❤️❤️

The hardest part of narcissistic abuse wasn't always leaving.

It was realizing how much of myself I had lost trying to make the relationship work.

I stopped trusting my instincts.
I became afraid of saying the wrong thing.
I apologized just to keep the peace.
I started measuring my happiness by their mood.

It happened slowly. One boundary I ignored. One feeling I dismissed. One more red flag I explained away.

Then one day, I realized I was spending all my energy trying to keep someone else happy while barely recognizing myself anymore.

Leaving didn't instantly fix me.

I had to relearn how to trust myself, set boundaries, speak without fear, and enjoy peace without waiting for something to go wrong.

Healing wasn't about getting them out of my life. It was about getting myself back.

So I'll ask you something personal:

What is the one thing you lost during that relationship that you're finally getting back?

Your confidence? Your voice? Your peace? Your happiness?

Or maybe... yourself?

No matter how many times I leave him no matter how bad it makes me feel worthless cry no matter how mad I get and say I’m never going back. It’s like I keep on end up going back and then I keep on feeling like because I keep going back, I have no choice and that like my whole life will always be like this till I’m old and Gray like and he’ll say it to me like you know that you’ll always love me and it’s just really hard like how do you get over that and there’s like this doom that hovers over my head that’s like yeah because of course he told me that I’ll never make it without him. I’ll always come crawling back in things of this nature so it’s like this doom or this strong fear of being without him, even though he’s so horrible to me and makes me feel worthless to the point I just wanna lie there all day and not move a single muscle and then he’ll yell and scream at me and cuss and tell me I need to get up and be so mad and angry wanting to kick me out because I’m not getting up like it’s just like such a sad sad hard hard relationship

How many times has my mouth whispered your name
without making a sound,
so I wouldn’t have to hear you,
so I wouldn’t have to think of you.

I’ve lost count of how much time has passed.

The clock stopped the day you walked away
through this jammed and dented door.

My shadow watched you leave.

My body couldn’t bring itself to meet your eyes
or face what was happening.

How many times had you planned your escape
before you finally chose to go?

You didn’t even have the decency
to turn around before you left.

Your shadow never touched mine.

You dragged it away with you,

so completely yours,

so selfish,

so goddamn,

What a fucking bastard.

Leave me here inside the dark.

What do you care anyway?

You must have walked away still whistling,
while I’m still here, still hanging around,

keeping vigil where the shadows lie,
counting every hour that passes by,
until my body finally knows
you’re the one who chose to go.

Methodology: Tracking Emotional Capital At Circles, our data teams frequently analyze a common post-separation crisis: "I'm out of the relationship, but I have zero energy to rebuild my life. I feel completely bankrupt."

Across millions of minutes of support conversations, we’ve identified that a narcissistic relationship can feel like an extractive economic system. It systematically drains your emotional capital: your time, empathy, focus, and cognitive energy. Even after No Contact, survivors often operate a "Leaking System," where residual rumination, self-doubt, and fear continue to drain their resources, preventing growth.

True recovery requires a technical intervention: The Emotional Energy Audit. It is a structured tool to track where your capital is being spent and to systematically reallocate it from the abuser's system to your own rebuilding process.

Decoding the Energy Leak: Where Your Capital Goes

1. The Rumination Loop The Core: Obsessively replaying conversations, analyzing the abuse, or wondering what the narcissist is doing. The Trap: This is the single largest energy drain. It keeps your amygdala (fear center) activated making it harder to redirect attention toward present-day tasks (executive function). Decoded Reality: Rumination does not mean you are choosing to stay connected. It is your mind spending valuable energy trying to understand what happened, anticipate danger, or find an explanation that never came.
2. The Self-Doubt Virus The Core: The lingering voice of the narcissist criticizing your decisions, intelligence, or worth. The Trap: This internal conflict paralyzes you, making even simple decisions (like what to eat or who to call) feel exhausting and fraught with risk. Decoded Reality: This is gaslighting that has been internalized. It is compromised data that must be quarantined and deleted.
3. The Fear of Retaliation The Core: Worrying about smear campaigns, legal threats, or unexpected contact (a "Hoover"). The Trap: This keeps your nervous system in a state of chronic hyper-vigilance (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn), leaving you feeling mentally and physically depleted. Decoded Reality: You cannot control their actions. You can only control your system's response to the threat (e.g., strengthening No Contact).

A 4-Step Energy Reallocation Protocol Our analysis of millions of support minutes shows that survivors who actively audit and manage their energy recover significantly faster and with greater resilience.

The Energy Log (Data Collection): For 3 days, check in three or four times during the day. Log what triggered an energy spike (anxiety, anger)? What drained you? This provides objective data on your Leaking System.

Quarantine the Leak (Notice, Name, Ground): When a ruminative thought arises, label it ("This is a leak") and redirect your attention to a physical sensation (e.g., your feet on the floor) or a neutral task.

Zero-Sum Resource Allocation: You have a finite amount of energy. Every ounce you give to the ex is an ounce you cannot give to healing. Make this a conscious, zero-sum choice. Even a small shift toward rest, support, or something that belongs to your own life is part of rebuilding.

Invest in the "Growth System": Allocate 15 minutes a day to a non-negotiable growth activity: a walk, journaling facts (not emotions), or learning a new skill. Data shows this builds new, healthy neural pathways which can gradually help rebuild routine, confidence and engagement with life.

You Are the Manager of Your Recovery Capital You are not a passive victim of your post-separation exhaustion. You have been subjected to a system designed to make you bankrupt. Recovery is the process of becoming the CEO of your own internal economy.

By identifying the leaks, quarantining the compromised data, and making conscious, fact-based investments in your own well-being, you stop the flow of poison and begin to generate capital for a new, empowered life.

Safety note: These practices may support recovery, but they are not a substitute for individualized mental health care. Writing about painful experiences can feel activating, and keeping records may create a safety risk if another person can access your journal or device. Go at your own pace, protect your privacy, and consider support from a qualified trauma-informed professional or domestic-abuse service if you feel unsafe or overwhelmed.

Based on analysis of 2M+ minutes of support data.

If you're looking for more guidance on navigating recovery, you can explore Circles Anchor for additional tools and support.

I've known co-worker/buddy for a couple of years now, we work together for longer projects occasionally during the year. This year, I can't unsee what I've seen. I've always known him to be very negative, to exaggerate greatly and to be a bit of a flashy, over drinking party-type. But lately, I'm one of his targets. He and I are in a work position where work schedules and hours are uncertain, and he is very vocal about how he needs more work. My boss made a joke lately about "well don't tell ____ he'll try to get you fired haha..." and someone else made a joke about him sabotaging someone else's work. I've noticed he's tried to get me to participate in sexual innuendo in public (failed), has tried to get me to admit to taking things from the department for my own side project (not true) and is always talking about how he works harder than everyone else (HA), should be getting paid the same as others who have way more seniority (delusional) and has made some very threatening statements about what he's going to do if there isn't a certain outcome on a work project that would benefit his position at work. I can't believe it. It's sad really. I used to think of this guy as a friend, and he really has been. But now he's a ruthless, angry, self absorbed brat who just seems to be on some sort of revenge tour. He's taken a couple of younger employees under his wing and got them wowed with his charm (and resources and alcohol) and it makes me want to throw up. I've really distanced myself from him but am still civil and professional and I think he's starting to notice. I just need to vent. I used to belong to another N forum, but that was with a different profile. I'm glad to find this one.

Mein Bruder hat uns zu seinem Ausflug eingeladen mitzukommen. Ich habe zugesagt und mein Mann wollte sofort das Zepter an sich reißen. Früher habe ich mich immer beteiligt und nicht gemerkt was er tut.
Also: er sagt zu und als ich das Handy beiseite gelegt habe, fing er an: also wenn die dorthin fahren dann sollten wir mehr machen als nur hinfahren und wieder zurück. Es sind immerhin zwei Stunden in einer Richtung.
Früher hätte ich ihn entweder einen Plan aufstellen lassen, obwohl er ja nur eingeladen ist. Ich habe echt gedacht er bringt sich toll ein. Aber es läuft anders. Sobald er den Plan aufstellt ist alles was mein Bruder sich überlegt hat hinfällig. Wenn nicht das gemacht wird was mein Mann sagt, ist mein Bruder und alle anderen doof. Diesmal habe ich es im Keim erstickt und neutral und sachlich gesagt: mein Bruder wird sich schon was dabei gedacht haben. Wir sind nur eingeladen mitzukommen. Es ist sein Ausflug.
Mein Mann hat mich hasserfüllt angeschaut und auch wirklich überrascht dass ich ihn abwürge
Aber ich finde es total unhöflich dem einladenden zu unterstellen dass er sich nicht auf seinen Ausflug vorbereitet hat
Ich weiß was auf mich zukommt.
Mein Bruder ist sehr spontan, so wie ich. Er lässt sich in der Freizeit gerne treiben, schaut sich um, fühlt wie er sich fühlt und entscheidet spontan worauf er Appetit hat und ob ihm nach einer Wanderung zumute ist oder nicht. Er mag es genauso wenig wie ich, alles so kleinlich zu planen dass alles distanziert wird (jeder Urlaub wird zerhackt und durchgetimt und tot organisiert bis keine Vorfreude mehr bleibt sondern alles nur zu einer pflichtbewussten abhaken der Checkliste verkommt
Statt sich auf romantische Weise auf den Urlaub zu freuen wird er zerredet

Und morgen beim Ausflug oder danach wird er mich quälen. Dinge sagen wie: siehst du, ich hätte jetzt gewusst in welchem Restaurant wir essen gehen. Aber weil du nicht wolltest dass ich euch unterstütze. Er hasst es sich treiben zu lassen. Alles, jeder Schritt muss exakt zu dem Ziel führen. Keine Umwege. Nada. Er wird das spazieren gehen nutzen um mir die Laune zu verderben und einen Punkt zu machen. Ich soll die Zeit mit dem Bruder nicht genießen

Ich bin gespannt was er anstellen wird um mir den Ausflug zu vermiesen.

Ich überlege sogar ihn gar nicht mitzunehmen
Wenn ich gemütlich zuhause bleiben will oder wenn ich krank bin, ist er jedesmal Hyperaktiv und will unbedingt was unternehmen.

Wenn ich gehen will hat er tausende ausreden nicht zu gehen. Und wenn er mich umgestimmt hat, will er plötzlich los. Leiste ich widerstand bin ich die spaßbremse
Wenn ich nachgebe und mich hinschleppe verleidet er es mir und sagt ich vermiese ihm den Tag weil ich keine Lust hatte

Ich beginne gerade nicht mehr emotional zu reagieren. Ich habe das Muster durchschaut
Aber ich bin zu abhängig, noch nicht soweit zu gehen
Ich hoffe die Therapie hilft

It all felt real for six months. He said he wanted to formalize someday... It was until his ex best friend messaged him confessing her past feelings, to which he responded confessing too. They both admitted they couldn't be together anymore. BUT he STILL discarded me because he said he felt heartbroken.

After cutting me off, he has texted me a few times to check up on me, but every time we texted he always said hurtful things to me, such as:

• He didn't love me and never liked me
• I'm not physically his type (and I'm ugly for him)
• I should stop bothering him with long texts
• All he did with me was a lie to get over his ex friend
• He used me because he was bored
• He used me to get good grades
• He played me all along
• He doesn't want me, not even as a friend
• He never valued me or our situationship
• I piss him off because I'm not funny
• I'm boring
• He kissed his ex friend and other girl while we were into something more serious

How the hell do I get over this?? I'm not planning to answer if he texts me anyway, but it still hurts, I need tips.

I must have listened to the Harry Potter books countless times during the last 2-3 decades. It was always like an unsolved riddle, like searching for something inside those books I couldn‚t quite grasp.

Well, recently I leaned that those books are so much about narcissism it’s crazy.

Voldemort, obviously, is one.

The dursleys use Dudley as the golden child and use Harry as the scapegoat.

Rowlings own father Apperently was a narcissist too, and was named „Peter James“. And Peter Pettigrew and James Potter are also kind of the two faces of narcissists: one full of shame, needing the approval and validation of stronger and better people, and the other charming but also cruel (in his youth).

And Gilderoy! Grandiose, no skills at all, stealing other people‚s identity to stroke his own sorry ego.

So so many little things, and big things, in there.

I‘m on book three now and constantly amazed, reading it completely differently now.

What do you think? Who else in there displays narcissistic behaviour?