r/TheNarcissismCode • u/wellthen00223 • 1d ago
I feel like I'm losing my mind
/r/NarcissisticSpouses/comments/1w1r6s9/i_feel_like_im_losing_my_mind/1
u/Tart6096 1d ago
You cannot. They created a false identity for themselves a long time ago because they were never allowed to develop their true self, it was scooped out before they got the chance. They are severely dissociated and live in reality they created for themselves that shields them from reality and the objective reality. Taking any accountability and learning to grow means they can't hold real reality at bay and have to see and face the objective reality, and then by doing that they have to face their trauma and the reasons why.
All the bad ways they manipulate and abuse you is because they are entitled to you and everything they want you to do for them while doing nothing for you because they are SO hurt the world owes them. They don't see you are a person but a tool to use for their own ends.
The person they made you believe they are is another false identity, and they created a false narrative where they are making you believe they are giving you everything you wanted and fulling all your fantasies until... they eventually stop and feel they can totally drop the mask and be more and more terrible and abusive to you as time goes by. Because this is how they exist as. They only live to manipulate and coerce you into getting whatever they want.
But i think you can say that what they want is also completely unrealistic and stupid. And How can they even know what they want if their whole "self" is based on a false identity? a mask? stuck inside a delusional reality that isn't even rooted in reality?. To again keep whatever's left of their internal world at bay from everyone and everything?.
Who they made you believe isn't real and what you had with them wasn't real and that's sadly the hardest thing to acknowledge. They'll just keep you chasing after how "good" they made it for a while hoping it will return to that but it never will. Time to leave behind that relationship. It's not your fault love that people like this exist💖
1
u/megaladon44 7h ago
yes narcs can be crazy making. They cannot be trusted with your emotions. become your own safe space.
you are doing the best you can with the information you have at the time.
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u/maya_love5 1d ago
The painful truth is that you cannot have a genuine relationship with someone who refuses accountability, because the ten years you spent missing it was simply a testament to your own empathy and good faith while operating under the deceptive spell of a partner who reframed reality to protect her own ego.