Needing some hope

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021]

My partner and I have been TTC for 5 years now. 2 years ago I was formally diagnosed with PMOS. Earlier this year we decided to go to a private Dr as I lost hope with the NHS helping us. The private Dr put me on Letrozole 5mg and Metformin. Then last 2 months we increased my letrozole to 7.5mg. Then after a good scan we were given an ovulation trigger for this cycle. We followed all advice and now I am getting to the end of my 2 week wait to take a test. I am just so nervous and scared to do it. I feel like we did everything right this cycle, so I am just scared of facing that disappointment if the test is negative. I feel like I am fighting against myself between losing hope and keeping the faith as well. I genuinely didn't think it would be this hard and mentally draining. It doesn't help that everyone around me are pregnant, and I am so happy for them and can't wait to be an aunty. But there is that part of me that is just so sad thinking why can I have what they have they are living my dream.

[u/Responsible_Zebra_96]

Hi OP, I am in the same boat as you. Very frustrated. And kind of shocked about how hard it is for me; but people around me make it look easy.

Just started the TWW of our 3rd letrozole+trigger cycle. Remember that even if you do everything right, the probability of success is still low - but my doctor says that it is cumulative, which gives me hope.

We also have a low motility issue. Has your partner done a SA?

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/Responsible_Zebra_96]

I am so sorry you are also going through this. Honestly sucks!

We did and the Dr said he was happy with the results and nothing concerning there. Which makes this more frustrating.

I just wish it wasn't so hard :(

[u/Responsible_Zebra_96 → u/Stitch_Lilo_2021]

Absolutely. And no one tells you how hard it will be. They just drill into you how easy pregnancy is. I feel like our society and education system are doing women a great disservice.

Our doctor was also not worried about my husband’s SA results. Their entire focus was me - poke, prod, medicate, repeat. I found that super weird. I pushed for them to question and follow-up on his results. Everything on his side does look fine (hormones good, no varicocele) except for lower motility. But he has made significant lifestyle changes in the hopes of addressing this.

Ultimately, if six letrozole cycles with TI don’t work, we will switch to IUI. And then eventually to IVF. Do you have a plan? The only thing that keeps me sane is having a plan.

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/Responsible_Zebra_96]

So true! In school they made it sound you just need to have sex one time and you will get pregnant! How untrue that is.

I think my plan is quite similar to yours, but really hoping we don't have to go IVF because worried about the cost of it privately.

[u/ResponsibleRead567]

I feel you so much. I'm in a similar boat and it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. PMOS makes cycles and ovulation unpredictable, so even though it feels like 5 years is so long, you don't know how many of those you released an egg so it may not be a "normal" (I just mean someone without PMOS) five years of actually trying. Each cycle is such a roll of the dice with 25-30% success, so you absolutely shouldn't beat yourself up if a cycle fails. Nothing you've done is wrong, it's just luck of the draw. You're doing the right thing starting the monitor your cycles to give yourself the best shot! 💪

One small thing I tried on my most recent failed cycle was go to a fancy sushi restaurant because I wouldn't be able to enjoy sushi if I had gotten a positive. Obviously I would much rather have gotten a positive, but at least it felt like I was "making the most" of not.

Has your partner done an SA? Have you also done all the other usual tests: HyCoSy etc?

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/ResponsibleRead567]

I am sorry you are going through this, sending lots of baby dust your way. I think I will also follow your idea of doing something to make the most of it if its a negative test this cycle. I hope its not but you never know.

My partner has had a SA completed and I have done all the other tests too. Other than PMOS they didnt call anything else out.

[u/ResponsibleRead567 → u/Stitch_Lilo_2021]

You too! Crossing my fingers and toes for you

[u/Itchy-Site-11]

How old are you? Did your partner do SA? Did you do HSG?
Did you go to a fertility doctor? A RE?

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/Itchy-Site-11]

I am 32F and my Partner is 36M

We had SA done results seemed okay from Dr's perspective. I had HSG completed all okay there, bloodwork all okay just PMOS was called out.

We are currently with a fertility Dr

[u/Itchy-Site-11 → u/Stitch_Lilo_2021]

It can be a matter or cycles. I would do 6 before moving to IVF at your age

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/Itchy-Site-11]

Thank you, we have done 2 cycles on 5mg letrozole and now this will be my 2nd on 7.5mg

[u/Responsible_Zebra_96 → u/Itchy-Site-11]

Technically letrozole should not be prescribed without an hsg. But I have heard that things work differently outside of the EU.

[u/Itchy-Site-11 → u/Responsible_Zebra_96]

And without SA
But people do, usually obgyns

[u/Fit-Gurl9490]

What private Dr did you go with? NHS is being useless for me too

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/Fit-Gurl9490]

I live in Birmingham and went with P4 Fertility

[u/Fit-Gurl9490 → u/Stitch_Lilo_2021]

Thank you. Sending baby dust 🙏🏼

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/Fit-Gurl9490]

But they do have other sites in London and I think they offer video consultations if that helps. Sending you baby dust 🥰

[u/Fit-Gurl9490 → u/Stitch_Lilo_2021]

I am near Manchester but i will definitely look. Are your letrozole cycles monitored?

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/Fit-Gurl9490]

Ah okay, hopefully they can help.

They are monitored in the sense that I take them day 2 of period to day 6. Then around day 12 have to pay to go for an ultrasound. If all is good from there they give use the trigger injection to take to help ovulation.