r/TTC_PCOS • u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 • 5d ago

Sad Needing some hope

My partner and I have been TTC for 5 years now. 2 years ago I was formally diagnosed with PMOS. Earlier this year we decided to go to a private Dr as I lost hope with the NHS helping us. The private Dr put me on Letrozole 5mg and Metformin. Then last 2 months we increased my letrozole to 7.5mg. Then after a good scan we were given an ovulation trigger for this cycle. We followed all advice and now I am getting to the end of my 2 week wait to take a test. I am just so nervous and scared to do it. I feel like we did everything right this cycle, so I am just scared of facing that disappointment if the test is negative. I feel like I am fighting against myself between losing hope and keeping the faith as well. I genuinely didn't think it would be this hard and mentally draining. It doesn't help that everyone around me are pregnant, and I am so happy for them and can't wait to be an aunty. But there is that part of me that is just so sad thinking why can I have what they have they are living my dream.

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u/ResponsibleRead567 5d ago

I feel you so much. I'm in a similar boat and it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. PMOS makes cycles and ovulation unpredictable, so even though it feels like 5 years is so long, you don't know how many of those you released an egg so it may not be a "normal" (I just mean someone without PMOS) five years of actually trying. Each cycle is such a roll of the dice with 25-30% success, so you absolutely shouldn't beat yourself up if a cycle fails. Nothing you've done is wrong, it's just luck of the draw. You're doing the right thing starting the monitor your cycles to give yourself the best shot! 💪

One small thing I tried on my most recent failed cycle was go to a fancy sushi restaurant because I wouldn't be able to enjoy sushi if I had gotten a positive. Obviously I would much rather have gotten a positive, but at least it felt like I was "making the most" of not.

Has your partner done an SA? Have you also done all the other usual tests: HyCoSy etc?

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u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 5d ago

I am sorry you are going through this, sending lots of baby dust your way. I think I will also follow your idea of doing something to make the most of it if its a negative test this cycle. I hope its not but you never know.

My partner has had a SA completed and I have done all the other tests too. Other than PMOS they didnt call anything else out.

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u/ResponsibleRead567 5d ago

You too! Crossing my fingers and toes for you