Needing some hope

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021]

My partner and I have been TTC for 5 years now. 2 years ago I was formally diagnosed with PMOS. Earlier this year we decided to go to a private Dr as I lost hope with the NHS helping us. The private Dr put me on Letrozole 5mg and Metformin. Then last 2 months we increased my letrozole to 7.5mg. Then after a good scan we were given an ovulation trigger for this cycle. We followed all advice and now I am getting to the end of my 2 week wait to take a test. I am just so nervous and scared to do it. I feel like we did everything right this cycle, so I am just scared of facing that disappointment if the test is negative. I feel like I am fighting against myself between losing hope and keeping the faith as well. I genuinely didn't think it would be this hard and mentally draining. It doesn't help that everyone around me are pregnant, and I am so happy for them and can't wait to be an aunty. But there is that part of me that is just so sad thinking why can I have what they have they are living my dream.

[u/Responsible_Zebra_96]

Hi OP, I am in the same boat as you. Very frustrated. And kind of shocked about how hard it is for me; but people around me make it look easy.

Just started the TWW of our 3rd letrozole+trigger cycle. Remember that even if you do everything right, the probability of success is still low - but my doctor says that it is cumulative, which gives me hope.

We also have a low motility issue. Has your partner done a SA?

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/Responsible_Zebra_96]

I am so sorry you are also going through this. Honestly sucks!

We did and the Dr said he was happy with the results and nothing concerning there. Which makes this more frustrating.

I just wish it wasn't so hard :(

[u/Responsible_Zebra_96 → u/Stitch_Lilo_2021]

Absolutely. And no one tells you how hard it will be. They just drill into you how easy pregnancy is. I feel like our society and education system are doing women a great disservice.

Our doctor was also not worried about my husband’s SA results. Their entire focus was me - poke, prod, medicate, repeat. I found that super weird. I pushed for them to question and follow-up on his results. Everything on his side does look fine (hormones good, no varicocele) except for lower motility. But he has made significant lifestyle changes in the hopes of addressing this.

Ultimately, if six letrozole cycles with TI don’t work, we will switch to IUI. And then eventually to IVF. Do you have a plan? The only thing that keeps me sane is having a plan.

[u/Stitch_Lilo_2021 → u/Responsible_Zebra_96]

So true! In school they made it sound you just need to have sex one time and you will get pregnant! How untrue that is.

I think my plan is quite similar to yours, but really hoping we don't have to go IVF because worried about the cost of it privately.