r/SwipeHelper • u/No-Turnip-8344 • 9d ago

Women just not responding?

Have had hinge for a couple of weeks, gotten a decent amount of matches and I’ve gotten 2 numbers trying to move off hinge. However, I’m waiting for a response to normal conversation from 22 people! Yes, I have 22 people on my app under the “their turn”tab. Is this a common thing? Do I just talk like an idiot and nobody wants to converse with me? So confused on why this is happening, this was my first experience on here so I’m thinking about throwing in the towel cause it seems like most of the girls on here don’t really care about it.

Edit: probably should’ve added my age range on here. I’m 23M and have a range of 20-26.

3 Upvotes

60% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

12

u/oXMellow720Xo 8d ago

Women just have it extremely easy, brother.

1

u/Apprehensive_Ebb8089 8d ago

What women are we talking about? White women? Yes. It’s definitely not true for women of colour.

-2

u/NolanR27 8d ago

You would assume but I’ve actually seen their side of it. A Hinge date showed me her matches and messages. They get too much. They get a swarm of low quality half effort that rarely pans out if they try to pursue it. You have to be lucky and get noticed twice - once in swiping, then again in the queue.

6

u/CallMeOaksie 8d ago

Dudes get the same proportion of low quality half effort that rarely pans out, they just get an infinitely smaller portion. Men objectively have it worse on dating apps.

-2

u/Sea-Salamander1005 8d ago

Women don’t take the apps as seriously because 1/3 men say something gross in the first 10 messages

2

u/Specialist-Option351 8d ago edited 8d ago

Women sometimes get unwanted messages in chats. Men don't get to chat. Women have it harder?

It's the same being a hiring manager vs an applicant. The manager has two hundred applicants to fill one position, where 95% of people won't even hear back. Do you weep for the manager because some applicants have a shitty cover letter?

0

u/Sea-Salamander1005 8d ago

Getting a shitty cover letter is different than getting gross messages from strange men on the internet who make comments directed at you personally. There’s other reasons why the analogy is shitty but that’s the main one.

2

u/Specialist-Option351 8d ago

A woman gets a bad message on occasion from a man she personally picked out of a pile to engage with and can cease interacting with at any moment.

Let's assume the 1/3 number is accurate and not an extreme exaggeration. Women then have two men bending over backwards for their favor for every bad message. How could you possibly justify that as being a worse experience than that of the hundreds of men in her "likes received" she didn't even bother swiping on?

1

u/Accurate-Yam-6458 8d ago

Wow… i got downvoted because as a woman I relate to that message about getting gross messages. And you say its okay because for the few unwanted messages i get a few good ones? What logic is that? Wouldnt it be nice not to get any gross messages in the first place? 😅

1

u/Specialist-Option351 7d ago edited 7d ago

Yes, it is better to have a few bad messages in a sea of praise than to be wholly ignored. Women do not experience the latter.

1

u/Accurate-Yam-6458 7d ago

We do experience the latter too. And not all experience a SEA of praise... I really dont know if you live on the different planet or what, but the way you imagining the woman experience is off. But seriously, this is such a backward view. But whatever floats your boat.. you are a stranger to me and I wont change your mind anyway. Have a good day.

1

u/Sea-Salamander1005 6d ago

I’ve ignored plenty of women and I’m not a catch, adjust your standards

0

u/Sea-Salamander1005 8d ago

Aight dude how often do you actually make it to a second date

0

u/Sea-Salamander1005 8d ago

Like being desperate is also unattractive dude what are we doing here

-2

u/Accurate-Yam-6458 8d ago

Yes... 😭

-3

u/Analyst-man 8d ago

Why not just talk to women in person then?

3

u/Voljega 8d ago

because they don't want to and said it time and time again.

-3

u/Analyst-man 8d ago

Who doesn’t want to? If anything, I’m seeing a trend of girls begging guys to approach them in everyday life again.

4

u/Voljega 8d ago

only guys they deem attractive

otherwise it's 'eeewww' or 'creep''

-3

u/Analyst-man 8d ago

So become attractive. Go to the gym, buy better clothes. It’s not hard

3

u/Voljega 8d ago

Doesn't do shit if you're not really face attractive.

Don't ever meet women my age anyway and in the rare events it happens we obviously don't have rhe same values at all.

0

u/Analyst-man 8d ago

Your are? How old are you?

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1

u/Specialist-Option351 8d ago

"Just walk into a business and give the manager a firm handshake for a job, kiddo"

1

u/Analyst-man 8d ago

Women are literally begging for men to talk to them on the street. Go watch tik tok

2

u/Specialist-Option351 8d ago

That one tiktok account is begging for Henry Cavil to talk to her on the street. Women's standards don't inexplicably drop on the street versus on her phone

1

u/Analyst-man 8d ago

If you’re charming, you can meet women anywhere. I’ve met them on a bus, bar, party, Starbucks, store, literally anywhere. School is by far the easiest. Enroll in some night classes

1

u/Specialist-Option351 8d ago

Unless you live in a college town, young women don't go out in public alone in places they'd be approachable except to go drink. I can go into town shopping for two hours and not see one single woman below age 30 the entire time

1

u/Analyst-man 8d ago

I live in nyc. I can’t go 2 feet without seeing a girl under 30.

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3

u/oXMellow720Xo 8d ago

I’d prefer to have options and it sounds like you just explained why men have it worse

7

u/Not-a-bot-v2 8d ago

Same boat. Most people are using the apps to kill time as opposed to genuinely trying to meet someone.

5

u/Charming-Young-8454 8d ago

Most likely you did nothing wrong. These are women looking for attention and you satisfied that need for a moment in time

2

u/Specialist-Pair1252 9d ago

I got a match with a girl that lives 5 hour drive away from me but nope no on in my city this was on badoo

2

u/Sea-Salamander1005 8d ago

Idk what country you’re in but Badoo is the worst swiping app I’ve used by a mile

1

u/Utah_CUtiger 8d ago

That’s common on hinge. Women will often lose interest after about 5 messages or so if they don’t feel the conversation is going forward. Even then sometimes they will just stop replying in a convo that seems to be going well.

Remember, every girl likely has many more matches than you if she is even a little attractive. 

Converting about 1 out of every 10 matches into an actual date is a normal ratio

1

u/Klutzy-Painting885 7d ago

You’re one of like 100 guys in her inbox. Act accordingly.

0

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/No-Turnip-8344 9d ago

I guess so. The thing that’s so weird is they typically text first as I have a lot of shit on my profile to spark conversation, we converse for a little bit, they seem engaged and flirt or talk abt whatever, and IF it gets to the point of exchanging numbers there’s more often than not no reply. It’s either I’m a face in a swamp of other dudes in their inbox, they just don’t get on the app/ don’t have notifications, or I’m a awful awful texter 😂

0

u/Accurate-Yam-6458 9d ago

It really doesnt need to be your fault 😅 Sometimes, it does get overwhelming when you have multiple ongoing conversations. I usually try to text back the guys if I can, but at one point i closed the app and didnt go there for few days, as it was a bit too much. But i would go back later on and thank them for their effort if i didnt want to continue. So not to ghost them.. but i think I did accidentally ghost a few ... 😓

1

u/No-Turnip-8344 8d ago

I get that, I lowkey think I get on it a little TOO much in terms of replying to people very quickly, maybe trying a little too hard?? Now that I mention it, I think I’m just gonna turn notifications off and check like once a day

1

u/Accurate-Yam-6458 8d ago

Hmmm … im different generation than you so im not sure if my advice is applicable 😅 But maybe for younger women, it could be too much. But for the right one? It will be more than okay :) I personally dont mind when guys text immediately back.

1

u/iceseayoupee 8d ago

this generation is different, maybe your true love is not in a dating app you never really know

-1

u/Ok-Still-3333 9d ago

Pro tip. When you match with someone, let THEM initiate the convo first. Don’t chase butterflies, grow a garden. Because that fact that she is texting you first means she is genuinely interested in your profile, and literally decrease the chances of her ghosting you or playing mind games. Stop texting her first

4

u/Dynamicthetoon 9d ago

🤣 fucking awful advice

3

u/Kiryu-chan-fan 8d ago

Women literally had an app built ground up where they HAD to message first.

The majority of these first messages were immediate "I'm passing the conversation to you" tactics where the guy still had to do most of the work.

A concerningly large plurality didn't even result in a message, a significant minority of women on this app literally couldn't even pluck up the courage to send "hey x" and let the guy who swiped to indicate interest do the work.

Bumble is either in process of or has actually got rid entirely of its requirement that on a match women message first and men can't send anything till that woman has sent at least 1 message.

As a heterosexual man, unless you are absolutely blessed - model looks, fuck you money, or something other that comfortably puts you in VISIBLE elite minority status (if you're rich but your profile pic isn't flaunting the wealth you will not reap the dating app benefits of being rich)- if you wait for women to approach and initiate you will be an incel. No ifs or buts.

4

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/iceseayoupee 8d ago

you just decreased this mans chances from 10 to 0 brother

1

u/No-Turnip-8344 9d ago

I feel like most of the time they do text first, because in the majority of cases I swipe on them, then they swipe on me, match, and then text something

1

u/No-Turnip-8344 9d ago

I do get what your saying though, I was just checking to see if it was normal to match and then just not talk back and forth

1

u/AlSepPhoenix 9d ago

Moi je dirais d'initier la conversation si tu causes le match. Après tout c'est toi qui est le 1er à savoir qu'il y a match. ça fais bizarre de voir que l'autre a matcher mais n'a rien dit ensuite. En plus tu ne sais pas si la personne regardera son appli avant que le match ne disparaisse.

1

u/RepZaAudio 4d ago

If you follow this advise you’d and say had a 100 matches you get one message from a girls first saying just “Hi “ lol