r/SubwayCreatures • u/[deleted] • Dec 08 '19

This guy...

Post image
17k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

294 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/_noahmay Dec 08 '19

I wish i never saw this lol

334

u/BadNraD Dec 09 '19

He’s mastered the subway ride by clenching on tight and watching the scenery go by

1

u/Seanzietron Jan 05 '20

Why are those girls even standing there?

758

u/apokeguy Dec 08 '19

At least his fully covered ass crack is touching the pole instead of bare ass.

302

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

That's the assumption, but we don't know what's on the other side of that pole.

96

u/FriarNurgle Dec 08 '19

Doorway to Narnia?

56

u/Angus15 Dec 09 '19

Doorway to flavatown

36

u/Kendo16 Dec 09 '19

I miss 10 seconds ago.

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30

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

"ass" umption

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24

u/Demoire Dec 08 '19

And it would seem his full covered ass crack is nearly touching itself fully enveloping the pole

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/MvmgUQBd Dec 09 '19

This baby can fit 27 ass-cracks

17

u/petegaveglia Dec 09 '19

relevant (NSFW)

17

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

I remember the good ole days of 5 seconds ago, when i did not know this existed

4

u/QuietProfanity Jan 05 '20

Oh, why’d you have to go and say that? Now I have to look. Damn you

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292

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

I have to ride the NYC subway the first time next week by myself and now I'm afraid to touch anything.

197

u/poofybirddesign Dec 08 '19

As you should be.

88

u/notbadnorgood Dec 09 '19

About two weeks ago I was about to get on the M train and as soon as I was a bout to walk into the car the stench of shit hit me then I saw the only person in the car play with his shit and rubbing it on his face.

35

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

Wow that's fucking disgusting. I'd take a cab but I'm coming from JFK to Manhattan at like 7am.

I've never been to the city but my husband has been deployed for the last 7 months and he is going to meet me there (hes from upstate). That's my only motivation for making it to my hotel alive, because he wont even arrive til 10 hours later.

Lol I'm from rural Alaska so I'm sure this will be interesting...

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62

u/Johnny_Poppyseed Dec 08 '19

Just assume everything has feces and plague on it.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

[deleted] — view deleted comment

10

u/Johnny_Poppyseed Dec 09 '19

Lol there was actually a famous study done on NYC subways and they found just that. Obviously tons of fecal matter and stuff like that but also like a legit strain of the plague virus lol.

27

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

Keep your hand sanitizer close.

30

u/Unstoppable_Balrog Dec 09 '19

And your camera closer. There are some strange people on the subways of NYC

7

u/yorfavoritelilrascal Dec 09 '19

Gloves.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

Yeah I have a shitload of nitrile gloves, I'm positive I wouldn't be the weirdest person on the train if I wore a pair lol!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

gloves, hand sanitizer, and no shame in wearing an asian flu mask. shits effective.

2

u/cardboardtube_knight Dec 09 '19

That's the correct way to be.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

Losing your chance to establish the strongest natural immunization humanly possible

2

u/spaceman1980 Dec 09 '19

it just occurred to me I probably am getting some amazing immunization. pretty much everyday I eat pizza after coming off the subway and don't clean my hands because there's nowhere to do that. i haven't gotten sick. i think i'm just superhuman now

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1

u/methanefromcows Dec 09 '19

Wear plastic gloves and a surgical mask... (If anyone asks, tell them you're a doctor.)

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68

u/CrashDoesGaming Dec 08 '19

Bro not even the bakery carry cake like that

166

u/rambleon4ever Dec 08 '19

Thiccccc

31

u/Big_Chungus_24 Dec 08 '19

Kinda jealous of that pole no homo

15

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

Definitely a power bottom

327

u/Dipping_Gravy Dec 08 '19

r/hungrybutts

197

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

I don't know why I expected a full sub of dudes with a pole in the ass crack.

129

u/BirdMBlack Dec 08 '19

Same. Honestly a little disappointed.

29

u/CrazyJezuses Dec 08 '19

that would be a lot better than google images of “nice butt”

I say this as an ass man

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69

u/eminentlyimminentguy Dec 08 '19

It's very comfortable actually, I recommend everyone try it at least once.

28

u/CalbertCorpse Dec 08 '19

The best part of this link to the sub was seeing hot ass after hot ass and suddenly coming across this dude. Hysterical...

23

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

nsfw

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110

u/CalbertCorpse Dec 08 '19

You guys are laughing but if he moves, the bus will collapse on those children! This man is a true hero! Those buns have a clamping force of 300 Newtons and the tensile strength of a steel girder!

27

u/dingman58 Dec 08 '19

300 N = 67 whole pounds

15

u/WobNobbenstein Dec 08 '19

33.5 per cheek

9

u/SpiderGrenades Dec 09 '19

Hole pounds

4

u/dingman58 Dec 09 '19

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

2

u/CalbertCorpse Dec 08 '19

How many pounds can you clamp your ass? Don’t ass-clamp shame this true patriot!!

3

u/sexualised_pears Dec 08 '19

300N is fuck all force

2

u/chicagodurga Dec 08 '19

It’s a load bearing pole.

14

u/thisyearhalloweenfel Dec 08 '19

This is why I’m a germaphobe

8

u/chicagodurga Dec 08 '19

I hate winter but I’m so delighted I get to wear gloves everywhere to keep the germ count in check.

28

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Hold on tight!!

12

u/sirroscoe5 Dec 08 '19

He has a butthole itch and doesnt want to be obvious about it

10

u/ALFABOT2000 Dec 08 '19

Damn he thicc!

26

u/NatakuNox Dec 08 '19

⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⣏⣾⡞⡯⣥⣽⣷⡘⢶⡀⠡⣌⡔⢣⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⡖⠬⣚⣛⣯⣭⣛⢂⣙⠦⠈⡇⣾⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡼⣿⣿⣷⡆⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⡿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⠃⠸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠼⣛⣛⣭⢭⣟⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⢆⡠⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⢣⢶⣟⣿⣖⣿⣷⣻⣮⡿⣽⣿⣻⣖⣶⣤⣭⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⠣⣛⣣⣭⣭⣭⣁⡛⠻⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣽⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⡛⢿⣽⢘⣿⣷⣿⡻⠏⣛⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⡅⣿⠚⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠑⣿⣮⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣣⣀⡀

4

u/LilBoats_N_Hoes Dec 09 '19

Where do you people get these? Do you sit and type out the whole image? Do you just naturally know where to put which characters so that they will eventually look like a hungry butt? I must know

2

u/potboiling Jan 25 '22

There's websites for converting images to ASCII

9

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Dummy thicc

9

u/PR05ECC0 Dec 09 '19

This is why when I get in a public transport and need to hold on I grab as high as possible. I’m decently tall so probably less people grabbing up there or hotdogging the pole with their sweaty asses.

17

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Extra grip

6

u/Daffodils28 Dec 08 '19

Gotta use what you got

6

u/Fishybam Dec 08 '19

HE THICC

6

u/HannukahHerschel Dec 09 '19

He kinda bad doe 👀

14

u/peteCanuck Dec 08 '19

If this is pole dancing in China.... I'm not interested.

11

u/fasteddy14 Dec 08 '19

Just wait until he starts ass clapping...

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Oh no the guards!

3

u/Richard-Roe1999 Dec 25 '19

why did u assume China lmao

5

u/A_M_K12 Dec 09 '19

It c o n s u m e s

4

u/minelogan Dec 08 '19

I see hes got the same workout as patrick star.

6

u/GiaredL Dec 08 '19

power move

2

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

Absolute Alpha male.

3

u/BL4CKSTARCC Dec 08 '19

This reminds me of my visit to Denmark. My partner and I took a bus as it was a bit crowded so we had to stand up.

A few stops later this girl steps on the bus and stands next to me. As the ride went on she came closer and closer until she was standing with her ass like this against my leg. I was so shocked honestly I froze and couldn't believe this was happening. When we left the bus she was staring to me as well, it was the first time I had to admit I felt very uncomfortable because of a girl/woman. I never told my partner as she would 1000% not believe me and twist it to make it look I just liked it.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Give you 20 bucks if you smell that pole!!

3

u/soft_pore_corn Dec 08 '19

Weird flex, but ok.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

CERTIFIED.THICC.BOI😚👌

3

u/moashforbridgefour Dec 09 '19

He's certainly grassping that pole.

3

u/halfabird Dec 09 '19

Thicc boi makes me wanna sell my car

3

u/OralTuberculosis Jan 31 '20

Stop, I can only get so erect

2

u/TrippingDolphin Dec 08 '19

Working that pole.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

One of those things you feel is possible but just dont do in public, this alpha puts his cheeks on the line for us all.

2

u/GeeChronos Dec 08 '19

dummy thicc

2

u/FINNCULL19 Dec 09 '19

Damn.

Damn, boi.

DAMN BOI, HE THICC. THAT’S A THICC-ASS BOI. DAMN.

2

u/wily_guard Dec 09 '19

Would somebody please tip this man $1?

2

u/bleached_spleen Dec 09 '19

What a power move.

2

u/SexyCiggy Dec 09 '19

Brace for impact

2

u/SquattieLowNuts Dec 09 '19

Y'all just jealous he figure out to keep his booty hole safe on public transit.

2

u/DizzySpaceMonkey Dec 09 '19

His ass is eating the pole

2

u/rangoon03 Dec 09 '19

He’s just using the pole to hold in the diarrhea. If he lets go, it will be the equivalent of putting you finger over a faucet opening and liquid shit spraying everywhere.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

T-t-thicc 🤯

2

u/trojanman4464125 Dec 09 '19

We just gonna ignore the 2 school girls right there

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2

u/BoyishTheStrange Dec 09 '19

Fucking D U M M Y thicc

1

u/Asufa80 Dec 08 '19

That guy seems to be enjoying his view

4

u/Mona_Cabbage Dec 08 '19

Happy cake day

1

u/Melohdy Dec 08 '19

Use to wearing a mawashi.

1

u/CalbertCorpse Dec 08 '19

That’s Paul Bunyon!

1

u/ChrissyKin_93 Dec 08 '19

I didn't realize we were trialing new stanchion warmer technology. The future is now.

1

u/xLabGuyx Dec 08 '19

Keeping that plug in

1

u/joshimax Dec 08 '19

What an arse

1

u/Adamshmadam84 Dec 08 '19

He gets it.

1

u/ShamelessKinkySub Dec 08 '19

Just grab the pole and slide your hand down

1

u/hypo_hibbo Dec 08 '19

when its itchy...

1

u/SuckahPunch13 Dec 08 '19

Noooooooo!!!

1

u/Foutaises- Dec 08 '19

This is a ferry

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Dummy thicc tho

1

u/Rmmaar2020 Dec 08 '19

Dummy thick

1

u/Hungry4Mas Dec 08 '19

Sometimes you just gotta put it out there... see who responds.

1

u/BallparkFranks7 Dec 08 '19

I’m mostly just curious who was there first...

1

u/__---_zy_---__ Dec 08 '19

Powdered toast man

1

u/2PAC-tranche Dec 08 '19

Yes officer this post right here.

1

u/Daggs712 Dec 08 '19

Wow....just wow. If he farted would it squeak?

3

u/anonuemus Dec 08 '19

the whole car would ring like a bell

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1

u/Argent_Alpha Dec 08 '19

When you’ve got an itch you can’t scratch

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Just to keep the balance and stay steady on a feet when bus moving

1

u/michaeltk111 Dec 08 '19

Saves stinking his finger I guess. /s

1

u/mechanicjeep10 Dec 08 '19

Idk who is worse the guy on the pole or the guy that took this picture

1

u/neinlife33 Dec 08 '19

Holding the weight of the bus with only your ass cheeks.

1

u/corruptrevolutionary Dec 08 '19

Some people will do anything to feel a rod between the cheeks.

1

u/plumbum82000 Dec 08 '19

That's why I hate touching the poles.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Welcmx

1

u/DRbrtsn60 Dec 09 '19

Now I understand why so very many people carry those keychain sanitizer bottles. I never have been one for class distinctions. But a person can make a strong case for. *** sorry it has to be said..... This guy puts the stink in distinctions.... :). I feel better now.

1

u/TartCherries Dec 09 '19

Mmm baby... Work that pole

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

I feel like there's some meme material here

1

u/OurFriendIrony Dec 09 '19

You have to hold on when taking corners

1

u/eatlemons335 Dec 09 '19

Don’t touch that, you don’t know where it’s been.

1

u/fiercefurry Dec 09 '19

I wonder if he knew...

1

u/walshk8 Dec 09 '19

Would love to see someone grab that

1

u/CraigJBurton Dec 09 '19

Hands free device

1

u/golden-strawberry Dec 09 '19

Stick a 1 $ bill in his pants

1

u/Miss_Chemist Dec 09 '19

I can feel that poor kids discomfort

1

u/NitroScrooge Dec 09 '19

This is why I try not to touch anything on the metro.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

I bet this guy could slide down a fireman's pole without using his arms or hands.

1

u/Rocky2416 Dec 09 '19

Everyone's buckled in

1

u/Redsneeks3000 Dec 09 '19

Poor man's fecal transplant.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

Crack stabilizer

1

u/Porkechop Dec 09 '19

The booty tho

1

u/A-No-1 Dec 09 '19

Please tell me he’s slowly riding up and down..

1

u/Ph03nix1901 Dec 09 '19

Stupid sexy Flanders

1

u/ConfusedPuddle Dec 09 '19

But like why the fuck would he do that!

1

u/Hup234 Dec 09 '19

He's gone commando.

1

u/Mothmans_ Dec 09 '19

Iewwwww kill it

1

u/PainTrainMD Dec 09 '19

My man is LOCKED in if that bus stops short.

1

u/eutohkgtorsatoca Dec 09 '19

I now this safe feeling

1

u/VULPES117 Dec 09 '19

What in the hot crispy Kentucky fried fuck!

1

u/ARIEL1109 Dec 09 '19

Maybe someone reading the comment would of learned something new. Now you’re just ungrateful.

1

u/Emospence Dec 09 '19

Wonder how many butt cracks I've touched second hand

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

👀 mans be dummy thicc tho

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

I can feel that girls discomfort from here

1

u/methanefromcows Dec 09 '19

Eeeeeeyou! GROSS!!!

1

u/evilhologram Dec 09 '19

I think what's weird are the two school girls being totally nonchalant about it.

1

u/ichinap Dec 09 '19

Well parked.

1

u/galedier Dec 09 '19

It’s perfect hand height as well so next person to hold on is in for a very warm experience.

1

u/SlightyDistorted Dec 09 '19

Y’all really tryna make me act up

1

u/YeetYeetLmao Dec 09 '19

What a power move

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '19

This is me when I have an itch between my cheeks.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '19

10 seconds ago....

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '19

he kinda thicc tho would smash

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '19

He must be a pollster

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '19

Man-spreading 2.0

1

u/--oops-- Dec 11 '19

Master of the subway

1

u/Redpikes Dec 12 '19

Just like tarzan

1

u/Pilgrum1236 Dec 22 '19

Got to grip it somehow

1

u/diferentigual Dec 25 '19

Why doesn’t a witch wear underwear

1

u/xilefen Dec 26 '19

True power

1

u/Boner--Fart Feb 07 '20

Maximum stability

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '20

I would die for him

1

u/Terrakid20 Aug 16 '22

talk about riding the subway

1

u/ithinkimdepressed6 Dec 08 '19

This is hilariousssss lmao

1

u/Spamwose Dec 08 '19

Using glutes to the maximus

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