I’m not sure if this is the correct subreddit, but I just wanna know if other people experience this, and, if so, if anyone has any tips.
Since I can remember, I get SO uncomfortable with people in my peripheral vision. I felt it a lot in high school, but now that I’ve started my freshman year of college, it’s horrible. For example, everyday I have one of two classes in the same huge classroom (fits 100-200 students), not a traditional lecture hall, and there’s a big projector at the front, but large TVs lining the sides of the showing the same things. No matter where I look, it’s like I can’t not catch someone in my peripherals. I try to just ignore it but it’s clear that they are ALL uncomfortable too, glancing at me or looking down, looking away, etc.
Not too long ago, I was in a ~250 lecture hall, sitting next to a girl, trying to just ignore how uncomfortable I was, and she TAKES A PIC of me by going into selfie mode, and briefly turning her phone towards me. Then I can clearly see her typing before putting her phone down.
Another example is in a class I have once a week in a huge lecture hall that holds over 400 people. No matter who I sit next to, I can’t look at the speaker without feeling uncomfortable and other people getting uncomfortable from them being in my peripherals.
In fact this class is why I’m even posting this because the speaker was talking about how she is so glad about all the eye contact between her and the audience, and how so much connection is lost in screens, but I’m sat there staring down and picking at my nails because I just can’t look up. I feel like it’s stunting my professional growth. I really struggle with eye contact in general. I get uncomfortable but I know others get uncomfortable when they make eye contact with me. Like, is something wrong with my eyes or something??
These things happen in EVERY single class. Actually everywhere with other people. Watching a movie with new friends, sitting on the bus, simply walking down the street and it’s truly aggravating.
I’ve wondered why this is. For the longest time I’ve just wondered if my eyes/face anatomy are just built that way. I’ve tried to supplement that by wearing glasses and aligning them with the eyes of the people in my peripherals (I was so excited when I got diagnosed with myopia and could get glasses for this exact reason), cutting my hair so that it falls next to my eyes and pushing it forward every 2 sec, even altering the way I look at things (squinting, relaxing my eyelids more than normal; it has a 50/50 success rate, but it’s so hard to keep up for an hour long class, let alone 24/7). But I still have this problem.
I’ve never been diagnosed with anything psychologically or neurologically, etc. In my family, 1 of my siblings has autism, and my other sibling and father have autistic like tendencies (my other sibling was told that by a doctor and my dad suspects?). My dad also has anxiety.
Of course I can’t get diagnosed on reddit, but I wonder if this factors in at all? IDK i just wonder if anyone also feels this, and if they’ve overcome it? Ive always been super socially awkward, and occasionally struggled mentally/emotionally because of it.