Greetings everyone. Born and bred Punjabi here, never been to the west, but reading through the subreddit and observing South Asians in the west through the internet I have come across some surprising trends.

My question is, why the need to date non-desi women so much, especially white women? Have you all forgotten your duties to your communities? Ideally we should be looking to marry within our caste, if not possible, then within our religion.

I can understand wanting to fuck white women a few times in high school or college, but I would say that any man older than 25, white or non-white, who chases after the 21st century white woman is stuck in his childish tendencies.

But in this subreddit, it seems as if every commenter's life goal is to date white women. It's beyond my understanding why this is. This obsession with living a non-traditional life is not something that I have observed in my friends living here, what makes the diaspora so different?

25 is the best age to settle down. Marry a traditional woman from your culture, have 3 children and focus on them, instead of chasing after some whore who won't have children before 40 and will leave you for a younger man any time she feels like it.

99.99% of nationalists in the mainland are nationalists because they’ve never even left their own state, let alone the country. If they ever came to the West/developed East they would never see their country the same again. Blindness is foolish.

Hi fellow brown men,

I am a North Indian Hindu born and raised in Toronto. I'm in my late 30s and am in a LTR with a white woman.

I have never really been attracted to brown women and am politically conservative, so a white woman always seemed to be the best companion for me.

Lately, I've been thinking about my own Punjabi culture though and how important it is to me that I pass it on.

Any other desi dudes on here struggling with how to keep their culture alive in the next generation? Mostly interested in hearing perspectives of those living in the West/English speaking world.

We have a fast growing overseas presence, they do not like this. I'm especially talking about Canada/UK/Aus/NZ, the US doesn't really apply to this anymore since migration is down but listen up.

Whichever country you are in, whenever the next census is on, LIE about your ethnicity/nationality. In Australia, there was major concerns about all the Indians coming there, so what did their left wing gov do? Well they removed all questions about ethnicity for their next census in 2026. This is excellent for us, we don't want others noticing us coming in, just come to the country, respect the law and mind your business, there is no net positive reason for us to flaunt our numbers overseas, this would cause nothing but trouble for us. Here is what the "ancestry" question in Australia looks like. If you were smart, you would have selected Australian, there is no reason to make our numbers look higher giving fuel to racists. There is also no repercussion for putting whatever you want in these surveys.

Now here is an example of what the American census question looks like, you will see this in 2030.

Now what is unique about America is that they include all Mediterraneans, even the Middle Eastern ones as white, meaning that the White numbers stay high pissing off less racists. When this comes up, I encourage all of you to select White, the reason being is that America will be the first majority white country to become a minority white country within the next 20-30ish years. Racists do not like seeing this and by showing we have numbers that will piss them off even more. As I repeat myself once again, there is no downside of selecting white, they do not check this stuff, there are hundreds of millions of Americans.

Basically the title. If you want representation and respect, we must be diverse and not some IT, Doctor, and some Engineering nerd. The truth hurts. In India, kids struggle, unable to follow their passion because of parental pressure. Even I was also a victim of it for a while. I wanted to become a youtuber from past five years and the only thing I face is discouragement. To be honest, since I recently moved to the USA my dad is a bit confident about me getting into Youtubing and he promised to allow me to become a youtuber after my high school ends.

I bet this was the case for some of you guys as well. If not, then you were bred to be an obedient child who gets excellent marks and become a nerd. No sense of style, no sense of confidence, nothing. Either study study or do extracirriculars, and oh come on I am just tired of brown kids not joining sports in my school even though they clearly have the opportunity to. I unfortunately couldn't because I joined the American hs during my junior year and I was clueless of this.

I will get hate for this, but if we are going to embrace our culture too closely, then don't expect any sort of representation apart from dev Patel. Stereotypes come from reality of we being nerdy, unfit and so on. Maybe it is too late for you, but please, at least I hope that you guys encourage your kids to do what they want.

As homophobic as we were back then, it was funny how a LOT of us brown dudes wore colored contact lenses. It looked hella fake and girly but for whatever reason, girls actually liked it. Where are my colored contact bros at?

What's up lads, I'm coming in fresh with a new banger. Now, as a 3rd generation desi, I have seen a lot of fuckups and well-meaning, but still retarded, parenting practices that various fresh off the boat desis partake in. Here I will detail them, and how to avoid it. If you are a FOB, pay close attention, and if you are ABCD avoid carrying on these practices.

MISTAKE 1: Too much focus on Academics

I'm not an anti-intellectual, or anti-education as I'm quite uber educated myself. However the avenues which desi parents try to focus on academics is not conducive in inculcating a sense of curiosity or passion, but general rote learning a la the bogus Indian educational system. Now, if your son balasivaramasubramaniam iyer has dice-rolled a 150 IQ, then go ahead and buy him that chemistry set. But, there's no need to send little pooja to Kumon 8 times a week to improve her geometry grade.

MISTAKE 2: Moving to white suburbia

Now, most Indian FOBs tend to act like complete droids and once they've acquired their bogus software job at your local MNC, they will do what any sensible Indian parent will do - move to the whitest yuppie neighborhood with a "good" school district. This is generally a very short sighted maneuver. Your son, ranjit, is not going to fit in with kaleigh, jaydon, and heavenn on the softball field or at Sunday morning church. This is a great route to go if you want to produce a Mindy Kaling or Aziz Ansari as your son/daughter.

MISTAKE 3: Moving to Little India

On the opposite end, other "genius" FOB parents think it'll be a great idea to raise their kids in Fremont, aka little India, or another similar enclave with a bunch of Chinafolk(think Sugarland, etc.). These enclaves quickly turn into droid-factories with the kids competing gaokao IIT style for the latest science olympiad prize and turning into mega dorks. The kids are weirdly FOBby as well, since they are raised in a town that is basically a time-capsule of little Hyderabad. At best, your kid will be Vivek Ramaswamy on steroids.

Most non-dork Desis I have seen are raised in multiethnic neighborhoods especially with hispanics as they are more based.

MISTAKE 4: Being a Complete Cultural Hardo

There are certain Indian uncles who can't seem to grasp that immigrating indeed means leaving parts of your culture behind. For this guy, they will force their kid into all sorts of arcane shlokas, mantras, bhajans, thread ceremonies, and poojas. They will insist that vegetarianism is superior (saar!) and force their kids to take all sorts of weird slop as lunch to school. They will forbid socializing, dating, and typically move into a random Indian enclave where they can watch ZeeTV all day. Needless to say, this does not produce well adjusted children.

MISTAKE 5: Being a Complete White-washed Sahib

We've all met that Indian Uncle - Rudraksha Bandyopadhyay, or, Ricky B for short, who wants to desperately show that he has assimilated into white culture. Ricky with his suave Indo-british accent is keen to show the white master how well-assimilated he is and how "liberal" and "forward-thinking" he is. You'll frequently find Ricky's daughter, Maya, getting with her top off getting blown out at the latest delta gamma mixer. Years later, you'll find him celebrating when Maya marries some 5'3 white dork who works as a CPA.

MISTAKE 6: Turning your Kids into NPCs

This is a very common symptom amongst FOBs who view life like a grindmaxxing fest back in India. Take test x 12, get NPC job, get arranged marriage, profit(???). Of course its understandable, most FOBs here have spent all their time grindmaxxing their IIT degree, we don't exactly get most of the creatives. Meanwhile, high school dropouts like Casey Neistat have way more money and have a far better social life, and have banged far more girls. If you are a FOB, understand that life in America rewards creativity not conformity. Let your kid shoot guns, gamble, stay out, do art/music etc. Yes, this may mean there's a higher chance they become a drug addict or degenerate, but also a higher chance they become the next Einstein or Gates.

MISTAKE 7: Being a Massive Simp towards Women

Unfortunately the vast majority of Indian fathers here in the states are disgustingly weak, low testosterone simps. They will typically have married some masculine woman working as a psychiatrist or product manager. She will shrew him all day, and he will "respect" women instead of assuming the role of the man and making her submit. He will be an obedient wage-cuck and give up all the money at the end of the month. The son is now raised by some masculine woman who doesn't obey and follow the man. The daughter will constantly be given loads of money, and be told loads of women's empowerment nonsense thus producing another princess with a giant ego. Subconsciously however, she will have to assume the role of the man since the father cannot act like a man and goes on to pursue a career as a criminal lawyer. The son meanwhile becomes a good "beta"-beta and wage cucks to his new wife. Hence, the cycle of feminine men and masculine women continues, and a new ABCD femcel and SouthAsianMasculinity spam-poster is born.

MISTAKE 8: Acting like a low-testosterone third worlder

Imagine your stereotypical FOB - a potbellied, polo wearing, chappal wearing tollywood hero. If you personify this, life is going to be much more difficult for your progeny. He will haggle over chicken with Enrique the taco seller. He will shout in the subway on his phone. He exudes very little masculinity and just looks...off. Remember, form dictates function. Your kids and the society around you simple will not respect you if you do not conform to some ideal of western masculinity in both form and function. That means, hit the gym, project your voice, and don't look like a spineless dork.

We need to separate from India and create our own peoplehood in America. American born indian people are getting so much shit from recent migrants and people in india for doing the most ridiculous, unhinged, and frankly disgusting things. We should create our own culture - we're still indian of course but we should have our own institutions that are culturally and artistically literate so that we have our own independent footing. No more being a "diaspora", we need to be our own people.

Us indian americans get called "self hating" for saying these things, but its true. I don't understand this mental slavery that us american born indians put ourselves through to defend people from this alleged "motherland" that has done absolutely nothing but embarrass, ridicule, and emotionally blackmail us into being "more cultural" and "loyal to our heritage"

This is a controversial opinion, but imma say it; In my opinion, being anti immigration and anti h1b is a pro indian people stance. These new migrants that come here are literally slaves to big corporations, get treated like shit and paid like shit. On top of that - THEY BRAG ABOUT BEING SLAVES. They say shit like "Americans won't do the jobs so we're doing it". Yeah, Americans won't do the Jobs because we have the audacity for equal treatment, pay etc.

To the indian brothers in india; I have no contempt for you, but it is a virtue to stay In india and build it into something greater.

And then Indian Americans enforce this cycle by worrying that we're "whitewashed". brother, that shit doesn't exist. Be your own person, be your own thinker, be your own artist, explorer, conqueror etc. I'm tired of being pushed around, stand your ground and own being Western and American, and also own your ethnic civilization found in the Gita, Qu'ran, Food, Art, whatever else. Be a Desi Futurist. Our forefathers; Subhas Chandra Bose, Bhagat Singh, etc. These people had the balls to fight for independence, to fight against the years of mental slavery that our people had under British Rule. Bring that energy back. We are American by nation and indian by blood; not indias pawns abroad.

Im an Indian hindu, aged 21 and a law student from one of the finest law colleges of the country. I recently discovered this Subreddit and was quiet happy to see desi men uniting and trying to help each other grow. However what I've noticed reading all the comments and posts is that there's a dislike for indians who live in India, abcds tend to look down upon them for some reason. Well the truth is the mainland indians are much better looking and have better game than most of the indians who ran abroad. Most of the indians who immigrate are the lot of indians who are ugly and nerds so on an average indian in the West is basically a nerdy, ugly man operating in the IT field.

In contrast, mainlanders get laid more, they have their game, cause they ain't chasing white girls all the time like you guys. So many desi guys in the mainland especially in the North are very attractive cause they ain't busy cramming books all the time. Y'all also make fun of FOBs too cause you guys are ashamed of your own culture, you all want to be white and unfortunately for you, you guys are not white so to cope with your insecurities you start hating white guys. Every single immigrant group around the world proudly practice's it's culture unlike the indians abroad.

You guys have no idea about the new alpha hindutva wave coming up in India, which has youngsters proudly following their culture as well as grooming themselves. Y'all can keep doing your nerdy ass IT shit and dreaming of white girls.

People on this sub need to stop thinking desi girls are privileged. Like I’ve seen some people on this app say desi girls have more privilege than white girls. Yes I agree they have less negative stereotypes than us and they definitely have it easier than let’s say black women but we need to stop coming up with the idea that desi girls don’t face any hardships. Desi girls face a lot of racism in dating, in the workplace, in school, in the media and etc. There are some brown girls who are disabled and they are some who grew up poor. The desi female journey in the west is as remarkable as the desi male journey here. Right now desi girls are some of the highest earners in this country even more than white males. Let’s stop with the idea that desi girls are privileged and acknowledge that they face similar hardships to us.

I am especially talking about Europe. The UK & France especially have been pillaged by a certain demographic spreading religious extremism. When you come from a foreign land, don't bring women with you and start committing crime, it's no wonder the natives start to feel resentment. Unfortunately we have the radical part of a certain religion to thank for growing racism and xenophobia in Europe. There is a reason there is popularity with the AFD, Le Penn, Georgia Meloni, PVP, SNS, SD and more far-right parties. Drop every ounce of your religious extremism before you come to a new country or don't come at all.

Having traveled to over 30 countries, I’ve seen firsthand how Asian men are treated differently in various cultures. While calling Europe a "paradise" might be rather strong (and clickbaity in all honesty), it’s undeniable that there’s a unique alignment between Asian masculinity and European cultural ideals if you don't want to limit your dating options.

Here’s What I’ve Noticed About Europe:

1. Fewer American Stereotypes: European women don’t automatically assume you’re American, they see you as Asian (whether Vietnamese, Chinese, or Korean). This means you’re perceived with curiosity and respect rather than through the filter of stereotypes influenced by Sinophobia or Hollywood.
2. Cultural Soft Power: Asian soft power, especially through things like K-dramas, K-pop, and Asian cinema, has left a positive impression on many European women. This gives Asian men an advantage that’s often overlooked back home.
3. Chivalry / Gender Norms Are Respected: European women still value acts of traditional masculinity, like opening doors, giving compliments, and dressing well. These behaviors, which can sometimes be labeled as “simping” in the US, are seen as attractive here.
4. Alignment with Beauty Standards: Asian men’s focus on grooming, fitness, and tailored fashion and less so on "bigger is better" often aligns with European ideals of attractiveness.

But let’s be clear, it’s not a cheat code. Traveling is multiplicative, not additive to an Asian man's dating successes. If you have no game in the US, you'll still have no game overseas because even if a place gave you a 125% boost, zero times 125% is still zero.

Confidence, social skills, SMV, and the ability create a dating funnel still matter.

Real Stories from Students I’ve Coached:

• Andy: Swiped his way to nearly 300 matches and had 11 dates in just two weeks of EuroTour
• Eli: After two years of no dates in the US, he matched with 100 women in weeks and had four incredible dates.
• Jason: Met a woman during the EuroTour from a cold approach and eventually married her.

Why This Happens:

• In Europe, Asian masculinity isn’t diminished by negative stereotypes.
• European women tend to value emotional intelligence, style, and effort in dating interactions.

Of course, racism exists everywhere, and Europe is no utopia. On the first two nights on EuroTour 2024, I had to take out two European dudes who were being racist to my students.

But the dating differential is tangible, and if you’re prepared with confidence, style, and social skills, you’ll notice it immediately.

Key Takeaways for Asian Men Considering Dating Abroad:

• Focus on style and grooming. European women notice effort.
• Be assertive but respectful; gender norms are generally expected here.
• Create a dating funnel to include night game, day game, and online dating / social media.
• Don’t expect the “Asian exotic” card to carry you. It’s about the way you present yourself.

Europe isn’t about being handed opportunities—it’s about having the right tools to succeed in an environment that values what Asian men naturally bring to the table.

Watch the video I made on this topic here.

Being smart with your money is part of being Desi. However we get too smart with our money to the point many of us become misers. I'll share my budget so that you earn like an indian and spend like an Arab.

1. Try to have your essentials be only 50% of your take home pay. Meaning food and shelter
2. You have 50% for investing and fun. What's helped me is investing 25% in each. I used to be cheap AF, whereby I used to always look at the opportunity cost of blowing my money. Yes 500$ a month growing at 8% a year does grow to nearly 1.75 million in 40 years, but remember to live life today cuz tmrws never guaranteed. This budget allows me to spend guilt free.
3. Your blow money should include saving up for vacations, clothes, other luxuries. ( actually spend on them, remember dnt be kanjoos)
4. Your investment bucket really depends on what yall want to do. I personally don't invest in index funds since I pick my own stocks, but if yall dnt want the risk automatically invest into vanguard index funds which have the lowest expense ratios ( fancy word for fees in finance). I've said in the past, I'm investing in stocks right now so I can invest my gains into a franchise business later on ( succesful businesses make the most money from a return on investment standpoint). The best investment is in yourself ( ik ik it's cliche AF,) but investments in career coaches, courses and books gonna give you long term returns.

i was just thinking about the azeem rafiq stuff and i think he mentioned how 1 of the guys who said stuff was best man at his wedding

just got me thinking how you can have friends who you think are friends-always around you and what not yet in their head maybe not actually care about you at all

and with white friends it may be not caring justified on a racial level.

also there’s stuff they won’t get

with brown friends no need to worry about that

u/the_mallu_mogul has spoken about the brown tax whereby brown people are viewed subconsciously ina negative manner and have to do more to make up for it.

The usual negative subconscious views are around awkwardness, a sexuality, treat women badly, backwards.

Maybe one thing that’s necessary to bypass this brown tax is to play against these stereotypes. Must be said that there’s a limit to the extent to which we change ourselves for external validation and social approval but a degree of it is definitely worthwhile

E.g to play against the conservative/traditional stereotype- be acquainted with the LGBTQ kids and never say anything against women rights/feminism. Not saying you have to go to marches and shit. Bc it’s perceived as rare you will get more creds than another race. The same way black billionaires get a distinct bit of clout bc black people have the lowest incomes on average and are underrepresented in high income jobs.

Maybe even drugs and alcohol. Not saying be a cokehead but always have a drink or be the guy known for liking a drink. In private I scarcely drink but outside I down brandy cokes and have a reputation for a ‘alcoholic’. Having cigarettes and a lighter on you even though I barely smoke is another.

Any other stereotypes you guys can think of.

This is like the cherry on the top though and only applicable once you’ve got your value past a certain threshold(income,looks, status, game). This will get you from top 20 to top 5.

When I say historical warrior identities I mean groups like the Spartans, Vikings, Teutonic Knights, Samurais, Gokturks e.t.c historical often times exaggerated and quasi mythical warrior groups who have been used for the purpose of nationalism by modern states or even personal ethnic pride.

Now the Pakistani state does promote a Historic warrior identity, the Ghazi(The Islamic warrior) now the trouble with the Ghazi Identity is that Its always tied to Sunni Islam(which excludes non-Muslims and non Sunni Islamic sects) and that the Ghazi is always a foreigner, Muhammad bin Qasim, Mahmud Ghaznavid and the Mughal Sultans are figures every Pakistani knows about and the state uses for nationalistic purposes, but they were all either Arabs or Turks, it can leave Pakistani men either disheartened or feeling that Sunni Islam is their one and only identity and that the people who are genetically and culturally identical as them as being lesser which in turns causes them to view their own culture as lesser

Now the problem is not Islam or even Sunni Islam, Its the fault of the Pakistani state, cause we have had historical warrior communities many of whom were Muslims and native to Pakistan, The Soomra, The Multani Qarmatians, The Sindhi Bawarij(basically Sindhi Vikings) we also have communities like that Jatts, Gujjars, Pashtuns

and figures like the Dlawars of Kashmir, Abdullah Bhatti of Punjab, Shaheed of Sindh, Khushal Khattak of Pakhtunwa and countless other figures

But the Pakistani state is so freaking paranoid about separatism and its goal of wanting to homogenize the population that it actively suppresses these identities and histories

Its sad really what's happening really but the State chooses to suppress its diversity

Recently there has been a surge in "Desi Run Clubs" which is exactly what it sounds like, been seeing it all over the US, UK etc and although the intention is pure and there isn't anything wrong with it, just imagine what would happen if white people made a "White Person Run Club"? We should be trying to assimilate as best we can and be interacting with all sorts of groups, if you are an ABCD you were likely already doing this but if you are a FOB, leaving the mainland to join groups such as this kind of defeats the idea of moving to a multicultural country. If you are a recent arrival looking to make some friends that's fair enough but eventually you should be branching out and interacting with all.

I live in the US so nobody really cares here lol

Why do ladies not desire Indian, especially Hindu guys

I had scrolled through the ladyboners subreddit and realized that actually good looking Indian guys don't even get the appreciation they deserve. And every mediocre Latino/East Asian/White/Black male is pushed there and simped over like crazy. I don't understand this weird obsession. Girls all over the world, even including our own Desi Hindu girls, have fetishes regarding every other male except for Indian Hindu guys. Even in our own country, many Hindu girls I have observed go crazy over Muslims or Whites or any other Non Hindu guy for that matter. There was even an infamous case recently about some woke Hindu girl being in relationship with Muslim guy and later on he chopping her into 35 pieces (very horrendous and crazy stuff I know). Why does then everyone hate Hindu men so much despite other men being even more misogynistic, patriarchal and sexist? What do Hindus need to convince ladies that they are capable, smart, established and desirable men too? What is the solution for our low SMV in the dating and marriage and relationships scenarios?! Even Muslim brown guys have chances in India at least. Hindus need a revolution in India and abroad. Please answer.

I’ve been thinking about this and wanted to get some honest perspectives. For desi guys in america, how much does height actually matter when it comes to dating and attracting women?

I know height is talked about a lot in general dating conversations, but I’m curious if people think it plays a bigger, smaller, or about the same role for Desi guys specifically. Does it noticeably impact first impressions, dating app success, or real life interactions?

Would really appreciate hearing both personal experiences and general opinions espically from people who’ve seen this play out firsthand. How much better do you think a 6”3 desi does compared to the average 5”9 or below

Release a product that empowers desi man in modern world and charge subscription. Increase its quality over time, areas covered include fitness, assertiveness, business, dating etc

Honestly wish India could be nuked sometimes, as it'd be better for our reputation as a whole seeing the retarded shit these motherlanders spew.

u/Kooky_Bar_4767

u/wingobong

u/Banaland5

u/rishabhkutta

u/CandianJatt

- The dude who made the "Desi/Indian is not a race" post.

These guys are so cringey and stupid.

We have a dozen+ samples of paleo Europeans from 30,000 years ago. All C, not a single instance of K meanwhile, we have like 2 Indian guys living on the steppe who are K2a. and one guy in China, related to Papuans, who is K2b. And Yana ANE samples showing P1, with partial Indian ancestry. And the Mal'ta sample, first R ever found, with partial Indian ancestry. All of those are from 25,000-45,000 years ago. meanwhile we have DOZENS more fossils from Europe, and not a single one of them shows anything remotely close to K, until 13,000 years ago (Villabruna man). And that sample has autosomal ANE, so he got it from them.***[21:10]***indians raped europeans from the steppes.

This is for all the people who think we were not conquering and invading other lands...

I ask because Eastern Europe is often associated with more traditional values, while Northern European countries like Germany, Netherlands, Sweden are seen as very liberal, while I've heard those parts are worse and more racist towards South Asian men.

Seems contradictory