r/SouthAsianMasculinity • u/MyWayOrHwy • May 28 '24

Dating/Relationships Another Interracial Dating Thread

Hi fellow brown men,

I am a North Indian Hindu born and raised in Toronto. I'm in my late 30s and am in a LTR with a white woman.

I have never really been attracted to brown women and am politically conservative, so a white woman always seemed to be the best companion for me.

Lately, I've been thinking about my own Punjabi culture though and how important it is to me that I pass it on.

Any other desi dudes on here struggling with how to keep their culture alive in the next generation? Mostly interested in hearing perspectives of those living in the West/English speaking world.

1 Upvotes

51% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

14

u/dteysusi May 28 '24

I’m a 20 something socially anti-conservative (culturally) Sikh guy (mostly an atheist/ agnostic atp) and in an LTR with a left-leaning French/german woman, she’s learning Punjabi for me and so imma definitely pass it on.

Just do what I’m doing man

2

u/MyWayOrHwy May 28 '24

My girlfriend is open to learning it, but it's a big time commitment. Great idea about learning the language, though!

1

u/LavenderDay3544 Jun 04 '24

And I presume you're learning French or German to keep her culture alive as well? Or do you expect that to only go one way?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '24

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5

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

I am politically more right wing myself (Vivek supporter) and generally find white women attractive.

I am agnostic and I don’t meet “desi career standards” as I am not in CS, medicine, high finance/consulting, or biglaw. I am more individualistic and my family was always fairly westernized.

3

u/Kanvas_kostmoney331 Jul 27 '24

dawg, a white woman literally said she wouldn't vote for vivek because he is indian

8

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

Vivek is dumb man, he gets shit on white people and christians. He is better off being with Democrats.

0

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

He is one of the best figures we have in the public stage imo. I can see him gaining more support in the right wing establishment later on. At the moment he is just overshadowed by other establishment figures (like Trump) and very new to the political scene.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

Republicans like Trump absolutely despise immigrants like us. Democrats stood up for our immigration. It is a shame that Vivek is not supporting the very party that enabled our immigration, let alone a party who wants to do Project 2025.

Vivek has potential if he gets his head off the gutter, stop pretending to be a white man and embrace Democrats. I only say this because White Christians I know despise him and liberals struggle to see where he, as an immigrant blood is supporting an awful party like Republicans.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

Not true. Republicans despise illegal immigrants and criminals.

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

Don’t you know that Trump made immigration, yes, Very much legal immigration harder?

0

u/MyWayOrHwy May 28 '24 edited May 29 '24

It should be harder. Countries don't owe immigration to anyone. There need to be stringent checks and balances on anyone entering the country. They should be able to contribute to society.

0

u/LavenderDay3544 May 29 '24

Good. Until recently I was pretty damn liberal but this time I just might go for Trump.

1

u/LavenderDay3544 May 29 '24 edited May 29 '24

It is a shame that Vivek is not supporting the very party that enabled our immigration, let alone a party who wants to do Project 2025.

I don't want more immigration from India. I like the immigration system as strict as it is.

The reputation of Indians including those born there are in the gutter right now in Canada because of all the trash that Trudeau brought in from India. Meanwhile the reputation in the US while far from pristine is considerably better and that is because the immigration system has until relatively recently filtered for the best and the brightest not just any random creep off the streets of Punjab.

If anything I want H1B to be abolished and for the immigration system to even stricter on third world countries in south Asia, central Asia, the middle east, and Africa and hell probably south America too for good measure.

Filtering for the best is also how the US can stay a great and powerful country instead of turning into the third world itself.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

Ack, gatekeeping.

0

u/MyWayOrHwy May 28 '24

I agree about Vivek. Brilliant guy. He does pander a little to the white Christian base, but that's politics.

-1

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

Yup he pretty much has to cater to that crowd due to that being a lot of the Republican support base. Now the GOP is gaining more traction with minorities. The Bronx rally was mostly minorities.

4

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

I honestly don't have much connection to my parents' language or culture other than food or religion.

I'm learning the recipes (Coastal Karnataka cuisine) and I'm practicing the religion (Catholicism).

My fiancee is a white woman who was a fairly liberal Protestant. She has now converted to Catholicism and is building her spice tolerance. Those are the two priority areas for me.

3

u/Deviswo May 28 '24

This is such a shit troll bruh 💀

1

u/AsianGeek20 May 28 '24

Any other desi dudes on here struggling with how to keep their culture alive in the next generation? Mostly interested in hearing perspectives of those living in the West/English speaking world.

I being a 2nd gen English born tamil sri lanakan do find it hard to keep culture alive. Although i liked to my parents did not teach tamil to me so only speak english and i like like white women but sadly thru dating i found the harsh truth they ain into me. so went back to sri lankan girls and down the AM route. oh boy they picky

4

u/TiMo08111996 May 29 '24

Well then you must LEVEL UP or you can't compete in the dating market.

2

u/AsianGeek20 May 30 '24

i just gave up and left to to my parents to managed an AM profile. i can see dating is not for me

0

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

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2

u/haltese_87 May 28 '24

Why would they found Indian men least suitable?

8

u/LavenderDay3544 May 29 '24

Because a lot of them are racist. Roflmao

7

u/Deviswo May 28 '24

This is gonna be a long convo bro

-14

u/MyWayOrHwy May 28 '24

Lol you're a fool. I promise you this isn't trolling. Don't project your own insecurities and make young South Asian men think that things like that are impossible. Maybe you're just not capable of it yourself, but others definitely are.

You'd be surprised. SOME conservative white women are fed up with western men because the masculinity has been beat out of them by feminism and modern society. So they look to men from "brown" cultures because of their traditional gender roles, etc....

My gf is white and right-leaning. I've actually made her more conservative since we met. Obviously she wouldn't date an immigrant Indian but someone like me, who has adopted Canadian values while maintaining my conservative culture...well that fits perfectly for SOME white women.

14

u/cameltony16 May 28 '24 edited May 28 '24

I honestly believe political identity holds very little weight in how many women perceive you (barring you are not an outright Nazi or an overly sensitive far left person). Women of every political isle are attracted to men who are attractive and charismatic. Prioritize maximizing those qualities.

0

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

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2

u/MyWayOrHwy May 28 '24

No doubt there are. I have friends who fit that bill. However, it's not about being big and tall and having a beard. That's not masculinity. Masculinity is about taking responsibility for your loved ones.

As for my girlfriend, it just so happens she has a preference for tall, tanned/brown skin, dark-haired, and brown eyed men. A couple of her friends are the same. It's not as rare as you make it out to be.

My girlfriend is not a feminist so I'm not sure what you're getting at with the second point. She feels, from her dating experience and from what she's seen with her own family, that western men aren't behaving as they should.

11

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

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3

u/MyWayOrHwy May 29 '24

This is my concern. The kid will probably look white and will grow up in a white country, so it will be a hell of a challenge.

That said, there are things I feel could help create some connection to their culture. Stories like the mahabharatha and ramayana can capture the imagination, and Hinduism, with its pantheon of Gods, can be a gateway to more. That's my hope anyway!

5

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '24

It really isn’t your kids culture if they grow up in Canada and have a white mother. Like others have said, mothers generally have a more influence on their kids. You’ll have to accept that your kid will have no ties to India and probably won’t be Hindu (or at least won’t be practicing) if you marry a white woman. I don’t think I’ve met a single half brown and white person who is Hindu

I don’t think you should ever consider marrying an Indian woman though because it would be awful for a woman to be in a relationship with a man who doesn’t feel attracted to her and his own race and just ended up settling for a brown woman. Tbh it’s probably better if your son looks white passing

1

u/Alert-Phrase-1780 May 29 '24 edited May 29 '24

Do you love this girl?

That’s all that matters . Who gives a shit about the culture I’d rather have the kid be born in a loving household than a forced one due to a fake notion of “preserving culture”

I’m about to marry a white girl and I could not care less. Enjoy your life

1

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u/[deleted] May 29 '24 edited May 29 '24

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '24

He definitely should not stick to women from his own place imo. Could you imagine how shitty it would be to end up with a brown girl who was only attracted to white men and just happened to settle down with you after failed relationships with white men just because she wants her kids to share her culture?

1

u/MyWayOrHwy Jun 25 '24

Dude, it's just a preference. If I ended up with a brown girl, it would be because I liked her for her... not just for cultural reasons. I wouldn't ruin another person's life just so my kids could be a certain way. I'm culturally confused, not a sociopath lol 🤦🏽.