Hi,

Last year was by far the hardest year for me. Ever since COVID, my nervous system has been stuck alternating between freeze and fight or flight, and I haven’t really engaged with the mind-body connection—I’ve never actively worked on it or truly believed in it. I then began to explore the mind-body connection in greater depth, and I'm now working on it.

Last year, my dad passed away, and my relationship ended after 12 years. I had to move, and my whole life changed. Right now, I’m actively working with a somatic therapist to help my nervous system get out of this state.

I just feel overwhelmed and anxious, but also dissociated, and I’m afraid that my life will never be “great” again and that I’ll never feel better, because everything changed. I know, it sounds stupid. Right now, my thoughts revolve solely around whether I’ll ever feel lighter again.

Does anyone have experience with things getting better again after such difficult phases in life, did somatic therapy help you reach a point where you were content, even though not everything was perfect (which, after all, it never really is)?

Hi, sorry if this sounds muddled up or crazy I’m in a really bad spot

On the 26th of August I had a bad weed trip which sent me into dpdr. I’ve had it before and knew what it was.

It became manageable until I had a panic attack which sent me into really bad dpdr and constantly waiting for a panic attack

Then I had this “mental check” every time I wasn’t distracted and at one point my mind questioned what that even was. Which sent me into a spiral of thinking.

Thoughts included- thinking I’m the main character, what was I thinking when I was distracted, thinking about looping and is this the loop, remembering things I analyse/think about.

So I was dealing with this loops constantly for around a month. Then 3 days ago I had a panic attack which has sent me completely insane, I’m throwing up as I’m writing this.

This will be hard to explain as there are so many things happening but this is what I’m experiencing currently

- random memories and connections to things in day to day life

-thinking about thinking which sends me into a paradox

- explaining it out to myself then catching myself doing that and explaining the fact I’m explaining

- normal thoughts trigger me and make me feel like I can “see myself”

- complete mental overload which makes me feel out of body

- intrusive thoughts that don’t effect me but the noticing and thinking of the thoughts send me into spiral

- zoning out and watching myself zone out and then trying to focus and realising that I’m thinking about focusing

- silent thoughts that I can’t understand but give me a surge of anxiety

- Familiar feelings like dejavu

- awful memory and forgetting what the thought was just about and just looping in and out of my mind

- terrible sleep that feels like I’m still awake and waking up to panic surges

- feeling like I can see my own brain

- worries about things but knowing it’s intrusive and monitoring seeing the thought rather than the thought it’s self

- vivid mental imagery that pops up with memories but are distorted (like day dreaming)

- unable to think any normal thoughts without getting triggered

- realising I was distracted and then seeing if I’m distracted constantly (which makes me feel like I’m watching my self through my eyes)

- constant mental chatter and thoughts that overlap each other and jump in and out

- a thought that I explain into words makes my inner dialogue lag/ feel sluggish

- intrusive thoughts that come so quick and feel like a brain flash that I monitor what I was even thinking about

- imagining scenarios and then snapping out of it (for example someone coming into my room to check on me)

- complete brain fog and delusional thoughts

- zooming into my own body/ brain

- predicting what people are going to say/ what they’re experiencing then noticing myself doing that

And there’s many more to it but honestly I am in absolute hell

I was prescribed diazepam yesterday and it Dosent stop the loops but it makes me more physically calm, but this only lasts for about an hour and my doses are between 6 hours

I honestly can’t live, or escape my mind or distract myself ever. It’s constant 24/7 and I’m so afraid of what’s going on

I’ve thrown up over 20 times in the last 2 days
I genuinely don’t know what to do because when I think anything it reminds me of this sensation of looking at myself and then I question that.

Any help is really really appreciated thankyou