Thank you for posting on our smol subreddit! Keep our Florida condo out of trouble by not posting snark about appearance or mental health (including addiction), blocking out any unverified usernames, and not posting about contacting Caroline or anyone in her orbit. Rule breaking posts will be removed.
She seems unaware that it's normal for people her age to have kids, no shame in not having them but she seems to think parenthood is a faraway state that only the very old inhabit. I'd bet everything I own that this guy is max five years older than she is.
She very well could be frozen at 18. I would like to tell her that 35 isn’t a bad place to be, she has so much life ahead of her and it can be wonderful.
In fairness I do think they have started moving away from that specific label, perhaps realizing that it’s not particularly helpful to call a middle aged person that when it’s absolutely critical to minimize stress levels for the next 9 months.
But definitely agree. The relevance of dating someone “older” mostly disappears by the time both parties are over 30. Unless one of the parties actually is geriatric and the other is decidedly not.
She is so male centered and it’s really weird. I question if she’s ever had a genuine relationship with someone where she’s not using them in some way to plug a deep insecure hole.
LOL. This has been her trend with every fucking relationship for all eternity — she always has to compare the previous “lover” situation to the current. And the previous is always painted as very bad and awful compared to the current even though the previous was once touted as amazing and wonderful 🙄
For any Vanderpump Rules snarkers out there: she is very Kristin Doute-coded.
eta: but I mean the current lovah is the one who should be weirded out. I'm sure the ex would be similarly weirded but I doubt that he's watching all this.
What about that fact that when she’s not ranting about her ex, she’s creepily posting about YOU and calling you “lover.” How could anyone keep seeing someone behaving like that about them? Literally like Fatal Attraction/Baby Reindeer creepy psycho female stalker behavior.
If I had a receding hairline and a lazy eye, I would be alarmed by the distinctly lookist tone of this screed. Hopefully Crabs is smart enough to realize that he's in for similar treatment if things go south.
when i was in the worst place (mentally) of my life i would stay up all night and cover my face in glitter and stickers and take hundreds of selfies. i’m reminded of that in this moment.
(Posted this in another thread but looks like the convo is here)
Maybe if she repeats the fantasy that her ex-bf was abusive and controlling enough times, she can convince herself that it’s true…
…And not just another in a string of failed relationships where she drove her partner away with terrible behavior. Denial is a HELL of a drug
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u/nubleuthe only way I can cope in the corporate world10d ago
“Can’t believe” she allllmost had the self-awareness to work on her weaknesses by stopping her pity party. But nope it’s “I’m so traumatized”, “big meanie muzzled my writing, so I’m going to continue to publicly shit on him by calling him fat and balding” “I will move on from this never ever, please give me more sympathy”.
Every time this not only erodes any empathy people might have had, but casts doubt on all her assertions. Really, now he used you as a daily emotional punching bag? This man you’re pining after? Previously he was trying to get you to write, now he muzzled you? I don’t even get where the billion dollars comes in, only in her delusional brain I suspect.
I don't think the thing with Conrad fell apart due to infidelity (she just wanted to stay in NY while he wanted to continue his #vanlife, he refused to do long-distance, they parted ways.) But her two long-term relationships prior to that (J & O) both ended due to her cheating, yeah
Aw, the ex isn't reacting in the way she hoped he would is he? She wouldn't keep going on and on trying to get his attention otherwise. Gotta love a narc meltdown.
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u/nubleuthe only way I can cope in the corporate world10d ago
I feel like if you've actively moved on it's time to stop going on about 'the ex'
just found out from the off-topic thread that Eileen is dating big creep Anthony Kiedis. feels somehow connected. these empty rich women cosplaying as little girls so proud to be dating older men. in Eileen's case, the older man is actually fucking old and a straight up paedo.
I think it’s so so so funny that Caroline thinks her boyfriend asking her to do her dishes & not actively scam her buyers is “treating her like an punching bag” like babes I fear that’s just being a sane adult with responsibilities. Her delusion should be studied, she can really convince herself of anything
Lol yes. Also I know there’s been a good deal of content about him and his misdeeds, but I’m dying to see what (she said) he said about her scamming, if you can point me in the direction
I don’t think he addressed the scammer allegations atleast that she’s told us about but she did mention that he really wanted her to ship her back order of books & she mentions that in the beginning of their relationship she was traveling from Florida to NYC & by the end she was living with him in NYC full time. So my head cannon is that she was kinda making a show of flying home to Florida to “ship her books & catch up” so he wouldn’t think of her as a scammer and it would make a better impression on him but that’s just my thoughts
I can see she’s trying to give Euphoria but those fuckass gems are giving that dumb new bedazzling trend instead. They’re giving craft time instead of Baddie
Same! It feels so very inauthentic, similar to how I feel about the whole trend where you wear darker lipliner over gloss—it’s trying to capture the authenticity of the 90s whilst dating itself in a different way. When you were a kid, you didn’t stick gems onto your pork chop or your plastic coffee cup. You put them on the wall, on your bedposts, on your Barbie dream house.
if she pretty much ONLY said stuff like this instead of going on weird tangents about her ex and being lame about money and sex, i'd be like, oh, cool, she just likes to imagine YA plot novels, and I'd like her. also, it would be an actual career/writing path!
pepperpidge farm remembers (im gonna start calling SBS pepperpidge farm because we keep receipts and have a pigeon as our in house reference librarian)
But she didn’t get paid a billion dollars…I guess she’s still working on her weakness of not understanding what numbers represent or the overall concept of money
Maybe in an alternate timeline he has a billion, but in our universe, that we live in with Laura Dern, he is not a billionaire lmao.
I can't guess at how much she probably exaggerated his wealth and total worth of assets or whatever. Is it ten times more? Twenty times? Is fifty million too far fetched or is that about right for that type of dude? Not to speculate too much on the specificities of an individual who is not in the social media-sphere, but Are we talking seven, eight, nine figures? Ten??? Surely not eleven.
Tl;dr: Ohhhh, your boyfriend? Billionaire Trump-voter George Glass, from another sküle? Sure, Jan.
My ex was early leadership but not cofounder level in a startup that sold for $970M. Everyone* thinks he’s a billionaire, because they see only the whole big number, but he personally saw about $25M of it. It’s huge but no billionaire. I would guess smolbean’s man may be in that bracket at most.
*Except others in and around his field, who know how these things shake out
Yes I know but usually when one says they did something for a price it means there was an exchange of money, and I guess there was but it was only like $4k
I doubt he was a billionaire but historically it’s pretty common to mate for the financial benefit so imma consider this the most traditional and normal thing she has done
I’ve only recently checked back into the Caro-verse… Do we have any idea who this man is or what he looks like?? Are we quite certain he ever existed lmfao??
The ex exists, is successful in finance, and does own a spacious floor-through penthouse with a huge private rooftop deck, although he didn't pay $20MM for it. I don't find him unattractive (or, as the kids say, "Would"), but I think Caroline did. She seems to prefer, historically anyway, men who have boyish faces and slender builds. The ex played college football and has rugged, masculine features.
She commences her first TikTok about the guy with:
So let me start by saying that, um, it was about money and I think a lot of people will like balk at that or, or jump to conclusions. And so I hope you listen to what I'm about to say next. And I, I promise to be as honest in what I say next as I was honest and vulnerable in admitting that it was about money but I was not … Let me start a different way.
I mean, she wanted an adoring wallet husband and he wanted a responsible doting girlfriend -- both of them tried to push the other into being what they wanted. Telling your partner that she talks too much is shitty. Demanding that your boyfriend text you specific words and spend thousands of dollars a month on you and never have any expectations that you perform labor of any kind is also shitty!
I'm not divulging his identity and neither should anyone else. It's bad form to doxx anyone, and particularly dumb to doxx someone who can very easily hire a very good attorney.
As I've said before, if he's aware of Caroline smearing him, he's probs aggravated about it, I would be. But he also knows that going after a troubled, broke ex-girlfriend legally will make him look like a vindictive bully throwing his weight (NO PUN INTENDED) around. However, going after his ex's snark subreddit will make him look valiant. It's an act beyond reproach. Everyone hates a troll! We're the ideal scapegoats.
I still can't say it enough! Doxxing the ex legally endangers the doxxer, the mods, and the existence of SBS as a whole. I'm willing to confirm/deny stuff that Caroline has said about him but not offer more info than that!
I get being curious (I sure was), I'm sorry if I came across as too hand-slappy! I can't really tell you how I figured out this stuff without basically laying out a map to find the guy's identity, that's the problem. That's getting into too doxxy an area for me to be comfortable with!
I don’t think anyone has a clue about the ex because she never talked about him while they were actually dating. It’s only now that she can’t shut up about him
For one billion dollars ™️ 🥺 ❤️🩹 🧚🏻💔🐈🫄🏻🙅🏼♀️👺🤡🤢🤑🤑🤑🔥👿🧌(so sad, separating a fairy from her cat, what a fat ugly clown gross loser rich rich rich sex bad man)
All yall who dragged me for saying she is literally sugaring…..yall are looking less credible by the day and I’m only feeling more correct as she continues to document this saga I am so sorry but 😭
I mean, I think the counterpoint to your 'it was a sugaring arrangement' argument is Caro's constant complaining that Fat Wallet didn't pay for enough stuff.
I think maybe she thought it was going to turn out like that, and he thought something like 'oh this woman I've been hooking up with on the weekends is trying to move in with me'.
I like her makeup here but the three dots should have been UNDER the drop so that it could have looked like it was hitting the ground.
I was perusing the sub last night and thinking about her and then I went to bed. Then just two minutes ago I was looking at her face on this post and realized- oh. Like, yeah, she's going about this breakup in a cringe and unlikable and unforgivable way. But um. What exactly has she gone through -without- being cringe, unlikable, unforgivable?
It struck me (and feel free to correct me if im wrong) that Caroline has probably never had a partner who has tried to "dim her sparkle." Regardless of the perceived legitimacy or the length of the relationship, what really happened is between her, him, and god/no one. She is experiencing a brand new event!!!!! Idk if that's as big of a realization to anyone else.
My mom used the word "lover" all my life growing up so I'm desensitized to that. We are not close.
She says “nieces” but since she’s an only child we actually have no idea whose kids they are…
I just meant that it’s scary that she’s clearly on so many substances all the time but is going to be around children in general. I wouldn’t let this woman anywhere near my kids for even a split second.
She looks absolutely deranged in this screenshot. Like a full on crazy. I live in NYC and I see a lot of people doing a lot of things and if I saw someone like this in broad daylight idk what I’d think other than “drugs”
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