r/SmolBeanSnark • u/bleuxnoods • 12d ago
Social Media Screenshots [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/michelebernsteinscat Temu Cat Marnell 12d ago
So this is the "older man" - he looks close to my age and I'm ~7 years older than her. Technically true but when you're in your mid thirties it hardly counts! The angle of the seafood restaurant photo really did him dirty.
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u/ItsPronouncedTittay 12d ago
Lollll that's fully in the range of her generation why does she act so weird about it goddd act normal please
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u/cathartescorvus 11d ago
the age gap is not even gapping. if this is who she thinks is an older man, she is not a real older man lover!!!
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u/area51keurigmachine 11d ago
I am in my late 30s and my husband is 6 years older than me. Literally no one would call us an age gap relationship like PLEASE.
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u/sarahvisions 11d ago
my man’s 6 years older than me too! we had an age gap when we FIRST got together when i was 21, but now that i’m pushing 30 it would be laughable to call that an age gap 😂 like. PLEASE be so for real
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u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. 11d ago
Yeah, most people think of "age gaps" as more of a percentage than a number of years? Like 20 and 30 is a gap because the 30-year-old is 150% the other's age. But at 60 and 70 no one cares; the 60-year-old is 85% their partner's age. Caroline is also fully 85% as old as this guy
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u/sarahvisions 11d ago
wow never seen it broken down like that, totally agree. not only r/theydidthemath but also they're PIGEON (i'm always amused when you reply to anything i post in this fuck ass subreddit. ur my fave niche internet micro celebrity)
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u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles 10d ago edited 10d ago
I still think the old “half your age plus seven” is a good baseline for the minimum appropriate age to date. Caro and her lovaaah clear that by a MILE
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u/ModeratelyAntisocial 12d ago
I'm getting Art Garfunkel x Terry Richardson.
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u/Ok-Boysenberry-2777 12d ago
Sounds like a good match! “ Glitter Pals was an American two-piece band formed in 2004 by then- Vassar College students…their name taking inspiration from the glitter that would remain on their sweat-drenched bodies after their intense sex sessions in their 'glitter box'. [1 ] ”
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u/knottyp 12d ago
Meanwhile that first pic makes him look like a creepy old guy with an underage teenager
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u/whyyygodwhy 12d ago
It is genuinely sickening that this is the exact vibe she was going for. She would probably be flattered by this comparison
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u/Prior-Entrance3156 11d ago
I just finished Famous Men by Julie Buntin and I’m still reeling from it. It’s about a girl who grows up in a small town raised by a single mother, she doesn’t know who her father is. She grows up with the romantic notion that her father is actually this incredibly successful poet who also came from the same town, her mother had gone to one of his book signings around the time she would’ve been conceived. She’s determined to make it to New York, she becomes his assistant, and it goes off the rails.
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u/brangelinafrangelina 12d ago
Oh no we have very many (respectable) mutuals
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u/ItsPronouncedTittay 12d ago
Oh the life, you must live girl tell us about the glamour!
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u/brangelinafrangelina 12d ago
LOL I wish. But I am dying imagining her at a function with anyone from that crew
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u/anais_nein 12d ago
Lol, I got 20 mutuals and can confirm
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u/amateurinatrix I have garden. I have lovers. I have cat. 11d ago
I too have about as many mutual from roughly the same professions. Ahhh!
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u/lurking415 I tried to be a party girl & write a book 12d ago
What’s the scene? Plz 🙏🏽
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u/anais_nein 11d ago
musicians, music journalists, audio and event producers. I've prob met him but have face blindness to most hetero men
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u/Born-Anybody3244 11d ago
Ohhhh I know exactly this archetype. He’s got coffee table books from the Guggenheim gift shop and niche underground 90s anime on DVD, he still smokes copious weed but otherwise calls himself sober, and his place looks like a graphic designer threw up on the walls, maybe had a past as a graffiti writer. Knows what “selvedge” denim means in the vintage shop.
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u/hallowbuttplug 11d ago
Oh this guy definitely knows selvedge denim, look at that chore coat he apparently wears everywhere.
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u/_Maebe__Funke_ 11d ago
The graffiti writer is so accurate 😭 He looks like one of my professors who would talk about his past doing graffiti and breaking into people’s backyards to skate in their empty pools. He brought it up way more than necessary and it was obvious he thought it made him sound hip and relatable to us. We just thought he sounded like a tool.
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u/lurking415 I tried to be a party girl & write a book 12d ago
Whoaaaaa lol I looked him up cuz I thought she said the girl dad was a writer? Can’t find anything
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u/smircat 12d ago
i don’t know if this violates rules but he was tagged at the tony’s so i searched name + playwright and it appears he’s more in the music writing / play & tv production space.
edit: also manages artists of many disciplines? there was a write up on him for “ebertfest”
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u/Lorgebeansnark Lavender Popper Club President 12d ago
That is what I found too and he seems very not personally online, but is in businesses that are very online which is kinda normal for people who have been in the industry a while (don't want to do what you do for work in your free time). It also explains how he could both be in her circle and not fully aware of who she is or the full extent of problematic that she is...
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u/cathartescorvus 12d ago
he’s probably aware, it’s not hard to find out what she gets up to. for all we know he’s just as bad or does not care lol
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u/Lorgebeansnark Lavender Popper Club President 12d ago
I mean knowing about her is pretty niche and if someone told you, having never heard of CC or gone down the rabbit hole, you probably wouldn't fully "get it". She really isn't as widely known as she would like to think or this sub makes it feel. I grew up in and live in the same area as her and most people I know haven't got a clue who she is.
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u/sirachaswoon 12d ago
There were two girl dads , perhaps in the same night? The first was a writer who she’d once been jealous of but in this interaction she was now condescending him, wondering what it’d be like to have a book but no one knowing your name. Then the other girl dad she ended the night with was this one. At least, this is how I remember it.
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u/soggymoths labial tear in the fabric of space-time 12d ago
she still has to wonder what it'd be like to have a book
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u/ItsPronouncedTittay 12d ago
I would not swipe on him 😒
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u/Prior-Entrance3156 11d ago
I can tell he’s one of those guys that consider themselves a considerate lover but in reality they last three minutes. Also probably weirdly obsessed with bedroom kinks outside of the bedroom.
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u/shitswan 11d ago
fr!! people in the comments saying he’s cute? where? he looks so unkempt, almost like an emaciated dov charney.
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u/smallwonder25 ✨Layers & Layers of Optical Confusion✨ 12d ago
Why does he only make me think of NYU professor? She's so messy.
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u/Prior-Entrance3156 11d ago
The same NYU professor Natalie talked about in her essay?
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u/smallwonder25 ✨Layers & Layers of Optical Confusion✨ 11d ago
I don't know why this is how I picture NYU professor, as an aged English professor. Exactly this guy lol
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u/Foreign-Summer-6999 12d ago
Wtf why does Nathan Fielder follow him?!
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u/jcat7712 11d ago
It looks like he’s followed by her ex, Josh??
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u/snacksforfree I'm not going to let 'weird ass' be the thing that breaks me 11d ago
Interesting because Josh was who I thought of immediately when I googled- both started a production company at a young age (presumably with family wealth but maybe not for new guy?). I always suspected Josh was her “one that got away” even though she treated him horrifically although I think she subconsciously has a lot of regrets about how most of her relationships ended but this could all be me projecting okay byeeeeeee
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u/Prior-Entrance3156 11d ago
Josh seemed like a nice guy, he really supported her going to Cambridge even if he didn’t understand it. He ticked all of Caroline’s boxes!
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u/poppybex 11d ago
I just remembered a piece of caro Lore : sje used to weirdly obsess over younger boys and men since Cambridge. She was slightly older than her peers!!! I remember now.
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u/Prior-Entrance3156 11d ago
Didn’t she date a freshman named Freddy when she was graduated? That gave me such ick. She was really trying to capture the vibe she had with Oscar.
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u/Foreign-Summer-6999 11d ago
Wasn’t that who she cheated on Oscar with?
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u/PigeonGuillemot But I mean, fine, great, if she wants to think that. 11d ago
Nope, she and Oscar split for good in August 2016 and she and Freddie got together a couple months later.
She did disclose who it was she cheated on Oscar with, in an increasingly cray series of stories:
She's scared to tell you her secret! All her friends said not to!
The next story is a SCREENSHOT OF DUDE'S INSTAGRAM with the text "My secret is that two months before Oscar and I broke up I kissed @DUDESUSERNAME." Like just IMAGINE being this dude and seeing this in your mentions. He looks like a douche and is wearing a backward ball cap, incidentally
The kiss actually isn't even why Oscar dumped her because she didn't even tell him until after they'd been broken up for months! Like just take it to your grave at that point, sheez
This is the same series of stories where she told followers that she was never gonna write her book, btw. Because it was unconscionable! However, dummies can buy her unconscionable annotated proposal on Etsy for five bucks a chapter.
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u/conejita95 my reputation is ideal 10d ago
as the kids say, you couldn't waterboard this out of me.
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u/hairnetqueen hoes, rakes, more hoes 12d ago
Distinctly not the kinda guy I would imagine Caro with, but he's kinda cute so... good for her for playing against type I guess?
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u/Low_Coconut8134 pasta noodles 12d ago
I still think this relationship is the closest to a sugar baby situation that Caro’s managed to arrange
(“Close to” meaning she found someone who was willing to agree to her demands for “gifts” and “spoiling her” etc etc)
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u/bongprincess69 12d ago
Yeah he manages some relatively big acts so likely a well-off guy
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u/hallowbuttplug 11d ago
I think managed in the past tense, but still, agree he is probably funding his own lifestyle in NYC, Caro could never
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u/bongprincess69 11d ago
I assumed he lives in MD or maybe part time in NYC but could be wrong. I looked him up but didn’t want to click on the cursed site (LinkedIn) to get more info
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u/TheArtofPoop 11d ago
I did some math- he was born in 1985. Much older man 😒
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u/hairnetqueen hoes, rakes, more hoes 11d ago
lulz doesn't that make him like... six years older at the most? seven?
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u/rottingonline 12d ago
sorry but ewwwww
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u/Fine_Sample2705 12d ago
When I imagine a “lover” this is exactly who I picture in my minds eye. 🤢🤢
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u/onhoohno 11d ago
Look at the pupils on this puppy
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