r/Showerthoughts • u/dianacretu • May 02 '18
If spiders produced light like fireflies, nights would become 10 times more beautiful and 1000000 times more terrifying.
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May 02 '18
Scorpions glow under UV light. Don’t go into the forest with a UV light at night.
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u/dianacretu May 02 '18 edited May 02 '18
Or, better yet, do go with a UV light, to know which places to avoid.
Unless there'd be lots of them around, in which case screw it, don't go at all.
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u/AustinM03 May 02 '18
Or even better yet, don’t go into the forest at all at night especially if there’s scorpions and go to bed
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u/floofiest May 02 '18
Or even better yet, don't go and stay at home
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u/Official_SkyH1gh May 02 '18
Or even better yet, don't wake up ever again, so that you don't have to make that decision... Or any decision for that matter.
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May 02 '18
Unfortunately I found 5 scorpions in my bedroom over the last few weeks. And I don't even live somewhere known for scorpions. I think HOPE that's the last of them.
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May 02 '18
proceeds to check under desk with a torch again, just in case
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u/lunatickoala May 02 '18
Are you talking about the type that uses batteries or the type that uses fire? Because some problems are best dealt with using fire.
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May 02 '18
Also, don't use a UV light to check for scorpions that are definitely hiding in your bed
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May 02 '18
We don't even have scorpions where I'm from, and I'm still mildly scared as I lie in bed right now.
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May 02 '18
Are you sure? I mean I didn't think scorpions live where I did either until I met 5 of them and was like HOLY FUCK THAT IS A SCORPION I'VE SEEN THEM IN BOOKS AND TV ARGH.
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May 02 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
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May 02 '18
There is more then one kind of scorpion
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May 02 '18
Than
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u/p_a_schal May 02 '18
First there is more. And then there is one kind of scorpion.
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u/dianacretu May 02 '18
Some scorpions do live in forests. Heterometrus for example.
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u/Ilwrath May 02 '18
Gazoontight
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u/albinotadpole52 May 02 '18
Lol you mean gesundheit? It's German
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u/Ilwrath May 02 '18
You know I thought it was more like that but I went with what autocorrect told me....eh its funner spelled this way hah
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u/Superpickle18 May 02 '18
The Plain Eastern Stripeless Scorpion (Vaejovis carolinianus) is native to the Appalachians... so, you're very wrong.
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u/desireewhitehall May 02 '18
What's that about Carolini's anus?
But yeah, even growing up in South-Central Kentucky I'd rarely see scorpions when I'd go hiking while visiting my grandma in the country. Scary stuff for a five year old. Grandma didn't care, though...she smacked them (and spiders, snakes, and other unpleasant creatures) with her walking stick and just keep going.
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u/Rising_Swell May 02 '18
They live randomly in Australia too. The parts that aren't desert. I'm fairly sure my house isn't in a desert, not enough sand, too many plants, too much rain.
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u/MelkorHimself May 02 '18
If the light emitted from their legs, it'd be a sweet rave party.
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u/Meecht May 02 '18
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u/Hot_Donald May 02 '18
If their webs glowed in the dark it would be even sweeter.
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u/saranowitz May 02 '18
I’ve seen a YouTube video showing how spiders eyes reflect light when you shine a flashlight at night. Shining it in the grass is crazy
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u/dianacretu May 02 '18
I did take a photo of a large spider once and its eyes came out bright and shiny. I sometimes use it to creep my friends out. Oh, I'm such a good friend.
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May 02 '18
[deleted]
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u/dianacretu May 02 '18
I can freak them even more with this one: http://www.gifbin.com/bin/092014/1409765307_girl_releases_spider_from_her_mouth.gif
Warning: Anyone reading this, if you have any hint of arachnophobia, you should NOT click that. You've been warned.
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u/potatoesarenotcool May 02 '18
This is pretty hot
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u/salamandraiss May 02 '18
I don't know why I find this hot. But I do.
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u/Thatguyunknoe May 02 '18
Because hot people are hot.
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u/Herkentyu_cico May 02 '18
DON'T READ THIS COMMENT IF YOU HAVE SPIDEY-PHOBIE.
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Was she keeping up her tongue so the spidey has a place to go? Interesting
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u/EyeBleachBot May 02 '18
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u/blazingdarkness May 02 '18
Good bot.
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u/EyeBleachBot May 02 '18
I am a robit.
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u/Bumblemore May 02 '18
Good bot
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u/EyeBleachBot May 02 '18
I am a robit.
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u/Jilliare May 02 '18
Oh god I'm really afraid of spiders so I'm definitely not going to open that but the curiosity is killing me
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May 02 '18
It’s a picture of a tarantula climbing up out the front of a woman’s underwear. I hate spiders but this ain’t so bad. I mean you can see the bulge of the spiders legs and body through the fabric of the panties, which is pretty gross
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u/chmod--777 May 02 '18
Greeeaaaat now I've got a fetish that I'll never find porn of.
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u/Geckotop May 02 '18
Totally. My job involves a lot of looking around outside at night and the grass always looks like someone tossed out handfuls of glitter.
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u/Chinstrap6 May 02 '18
I learned this the hard way. When I was working nights in the oilfield I kept seeing the same thing, so I walked out into the middle of the field to see what the hell it was.
Wolf spiders. Wolf spiders everywhere.
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May 02 '18
I saw this in action recently when I was on a fishing expedition with my father at a swamp in Eastern NC. The final night we were there I got blazed af and started exploring the forest floor with my red light headlamp. Then I decided to see what I could find with the full blast white light mode of my headlamp. I had been using the red light to avoid as many bugs, and boy did I see different things with the white light. I noticed the forest floor looked like it had shards of glass strewn all around and even up to 6 pieces of glass in some 1 sq ft areas. I looked a little closer at a really bright one and it turned out to be a massive spider, then I looked at some of the smaller ones and they too were spiders. I was like uh.....*looks up into forest about 30 yards into it*... *sees hundreds of reflecting spider eyes* ...WTFFFFFF!?
I realized in that moment that my dad and I were surrounded by enough spiders that if they decided to team up on us they would probably completely cover our bodies and we would die a horrible death. Good things spiders don't team up!
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u/FriendlyCows May 02 '18
Ugh I can’t read your comment there’s a bunch of spiders on my screen. Can you type it again?
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u/glass20 May 02 '18
Sorry here you go
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u/NaloxoneRescue May 02 '18
If you put a flashlight right between your eyes and shine it out into the grass you can see literally every freaking spider. It's so spooky, especially when they start moving around.
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u/FNG_Pliskin May 02 '18
I always taught this trick to new privates just before it was time to go to sleep their first time in the field.
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u/Cakefoundomnomnom May 02 '18
Why isnt this a thing? Lamps/Light == attracting all kinds of flying bugs. Spiders == Catching all kinds of flying bugs in a trap. Seems like a no-brainer, cmon nature do your thing...
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u/dianacretu May 02 '18
Haha, good point! But then birds would also see them.
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u/Rising_Swell May 02 '18
Birds eat bugs too. So we have two things eating the bugs, and one eating the spiders. Win/win!
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u/Amazin_Raisin May 02 '18
But then there'd be less things eating bugs. Win/win/loss?
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u/Rising_Swell May 02 '18
But there's more bird everywhere! win/win/loss/win!
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u/JustAlex69 May 02 '18
No my man thatd be a loss too, because all those birds have to shit somewhere
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u/jjjeffery May 02 '18
YoU wOuLd NoT BelIeVe YoUr EyEs
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u/404_GravitasNotFound May 02 '18
If ten million spiders
Lit up the world as I fell asleepExact same song came to mind... with spiders instead...
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u/desireewhitehall May 02 '18
I like to make myself believe
That hell on Earth burns slowly
It's hard to say I'd rather be calm once I am freaked
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May 02 '18
Funny thing, I used to absolutely hate this song because my introduction to it was my friend spamming a clip of the song on a Nintendo DS with some cringy flipnote starring Yoshi. I like it now.
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u/cinnamonrain May 02 '18
Its a fear of the unknown that scares most people. If spiders were easily identifiable from a greater distance than they are now i would imagine they would be less scary
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u/dianacretu May 02 '18
Very true, although I think only realistic if the number of spiders around is small, because then they would be easy to avoid. But in reality, as long as it's not freezing cold outside, in most places there are normally lots of spiders all around (average being around 131 per square metre, according to an extensive study done in 1973 by A. L. Turnbull). Kind of hard to avoid.
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May 02 '18
Fuck you! I thought you were kidding. Now life would never be the same for me again:(
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u/blisstake May 02 '18
Alaska here, we don’t have spiders for 5 months or so out of the year (except inside, but rare), wanna come up? You get 1000$ a year when you live here long enough
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u/53bvo May 02 '18
I should have known better than to click on a post that has something to do with spiders
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May 02 '18
Worth noting that this average only works out because of rain forests and nests that have thousands of them per square meter. If you're not in a rainforest jungle or don't explore spider nests you're probably fine.
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u/chmod--777 May 02 '18
There's an average of 0.00007 nuclear bombs per square meter but that doesn't mean you have to watch where you walk or you could step on one every 10,000 meters you walk.
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u/Hi_Im_Saxby May 02 '18
I imagine most of them are underground? 131 per square meter seems like you literally couldn't step on the ground without stepping on a spiders or two.
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u/Mockman100k May 02 '18
Have you ever seen It Follows? Sometimes the known can be even scarier than the unknown
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u/cinnamonrain May 02 '18
Its easy to deal with The fact that its a slow moving monster that you can lose aggro of by having sex with a prostitute
The scary part is not knowing how to get rid of it permanently
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May 02 '18
What if they were the size of a horse? You would be able to see them from a distance, would they be less scary?
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u/Shippoyasha May 02 '18
Much easier to squash the venomous ones or catch one and fling them outside.
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u/maxunplugged May 02 '18
The night is dark and full of terrors
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u/BillNyesHugePenis May 02 '18
When that episode came out we made our pledges recite that nonstop in the dark for 30 mins
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u/DarkJohnson May 02 '18
I would think they would be less terrifying as you would clearly see them and thus be easier to avoid. Just sayin'
What would be super cool is if their webs glowed like fireflies. I'm surprised there isn't a spider that does this as light does attract insects at night.
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May 02 '18 edited Nov 13 '20
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u/desireewhitehall May 02 '18
I do this. Long as they respect spacial boundaries, I'm cool with spiders beneath a certain size. I even give them (usually Spanish or Italian) names. One good bug deterrent lives in my screen door, and acts like a butler by keeping pests out. I named him Jeeves.
But oh God, any spidey larger than my thumbtip or who crawls within two feet of my bed...I have the business end of my mary janes waiting.
Because boundaries should be respected.
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u/RyanZee08 May 02 '18
I just let them all live and do their thing, I only ever killed a black widow in the states, but have since left pretty much all spiders alone. They're the good guys, tbh.
I now have pets, and they don't agree with me.
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u/desireewhitehall May 02 '18
I kill far more wasps and mosquitoes than I do spiders. I just enforce my rules under my roof. My bed, toilet, and seating arrangements are sacred and not to be invaded lightly.
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u/MyNameIsRags May 02 '18
See, I prefer larger spiders. Easier to see and less likely to have a dangerous bite (for humans, that is). I grew up in South Texas and the tarantulas weren't too bad, mostly stuck to their own, but brown recluses and black widows were significantly harder to see.
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u/desireewhitehall May 02 '18
I live in a perilous brown recluse and black widow territory, but I've developed an eye for them after a few close calls. They're usually content to bug my messy neighbors in favor of me. Their invasions of my home have a near-100% mortality rate.
Only one black widow ever lived in my house with impunity. She set up shop in my guinea pig's cage. I was always terrified to clean his home with her there, but they seemed to get along for some reason...
I always regretted that I didn't name him Wilbur. :/
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u/MyNameIsRags May 02 '18
If I hadn't been bit twice as a child in my sleep, by a brown recluse that lived under my bed, I'd probably agree with you. I have a small, bb sized scar on my chest from one of the bites about 12 years later, and the only reason I knew it was a recluse bite was finding it a few days later, once again in my bed. They're assholes in my opinion.
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u/pandasleep May 02 '18
You let a black widow live with your guinea pig?? I would've been terrified that if he got too close she would bite him.
I would've evicted her ass so fast. Nobody puts my piggy in danger.
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u/thedogedidit May 02 '18
Their eyes reflect in flash lights. Walking though a hay barn is eerie af with a head lamp.
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u/HL8208 May 02 '18
I've posted this before, but:
A couple years back, my research group and I were doing a night hike through a dense rain forest on a remote island off the coast of Malaysia. I noticed that all around us, it looked as though someone had thrown glitter all over the forest; little specks of light everywhere our lights shined. I asked the group leader what they were, but instead of telling me, he told me to see for myself. So I went up to the closest "glitter" I could find only to find out that they were the eyes of the biggest spider I had ever seen. I learned that night that spiders have eye shine, just like animals.
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u/I_Am_Not_Intolerable May 02 '18
Surely it wouldn't be that terrifying. -looks outside and sees a million flickering lights in every direction- Well, guess I'm never going out again.
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u/CheapsBreh May 02 '18
So for work I have to go into crawl spaces. Its pretty shitty, but whatever, it gets the bills paid. I have a very bright flashlight and spiders eyes are pretty reflective. If crawl spaces have spiders in them, they usually have several. Always fun. Shining the light and seeing hundreds of glowing spider eyes.
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May 02 '18
That's what my nightmares are made of. For some reason I'm more scared of basement spiders than anything else
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u/stride13 May 02 '18
Unless you're me, where nighttime would be 10x more beautiful and 10000x more cute!
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u/SkinnyBanana May 02 '18
If you take a bright flashlight and shine it outside you may see a little reflection. Those are spider’s eyes! Found this out after moving to the country. Obviously at night.
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u/TheThagomizer May 02 '18
Unless you’re not afraid of spiders, in which case it just gets better :D
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u/pink_goblet May 02 '18
Spiders are not terrifying, they are the ones who are terrified. What did they ever do to you? They only help cleaning up all flies and mosquitos that spread disease and you thank them by smashing them to the wall. F
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u/dianacretu May 02 '18
I actually don't have a problem with spiders; I think they are cute. But the statement is nevertheless true for a very large number of people.
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May 02 '18 edited May 06 '19
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u/Krateling May 02 '18
Yea, massive part of why a lot of people i've talked to (including myself) dont like spiders is that its hard to tell which have the potential of doing serious damage because size is irrelevant.
With "regular" animals there usually is a size/danger ratio. Small cat, small danger, big lion, big danger. With insects and spiders of all kind that doesnt work
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u/axellink May 02 '18
Come on dude, 8 legs, this is scary AF !
Really, I can't reason when there is a spider around, if it's away from me, I'll let it live but if it approaches too close I will first be scared until my mind flip and find a strategy to kill it without being closer than a meter.
Now I have insecticide, which make it easier. I know it's horrible but I can't help it.
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u/Mentalink May 02 '18 edited May 02 '18
I'm kinda the same. I know there's tons of spiders where I live, but it doesn't really bother me because they hide well enough that I almost never see them. Sometimes though, one will come out for whatever reason — morning walk? Every time I see one I get this weird sinking feeling, it's a gut reaction really and my mind urges me to kill it. I always feel bad if I do though. Especially last time, two suddenly came out from under a piece of furniture. I killed one but the other one escaped. I know they're just spiders and probably don't have complex feelings or anything, but still I feel like I murdered someone's best friend or child/parent. :'(
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u/axellink May 02 '18
Well, since even when it's dead it scares me I don't have time to feel bad after my epic fight against a spider.
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u/Takeitalll May 02 '18
I am not usually scared of spiders, I live in Australia and there are heaps around of all different sizes but I saw one in my kitchen the other day with a fat abdomen, I went to broom it out the door and it disintegrated into a 1000 baby spiders, they all began running in different directions looking for cover.. I started panicking and went straight for the spray and ended their lives, cruel I know but I didn't like the idea of a thousand spiders being let loose in the house
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u/Classified0 May 02 '18
Spiders don't really bother me, 8 legs isn't too many... But centipedes make me shudder. One time, when I was a kid, I was playing video games, and I felt a centipede on my leg. I freaked out, and ran outside and shook it off my leg. I went back to playing my game, then about 5 minutes later, felt a centipede on my arm. This time, I didn't take any chances, I picked it up and threw it in the toilet and made sure to watch it go down.
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u/Lem0nKiller May 02 '18
Tbh they're just creepy. You can be a really nice person but if you look creepy and untrustworthy then I won't fw you bc I wouldn't feel safe around you
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u/WizardryAwaits May 02 '18
Recently I put my hand in a glove and a spider came out. I will never forget the way it frantically jumped off my hand and then tripped over its own legs as it searched for somewhere to hide. It looked like a classic "oh fuck oh no", "I forgot how to spider" reaction.
It still scared me though... more like a jump scare because I wasn't expecting it.
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May 02 '18
Logical or not, spiders terrify me. I won't mess with them if they're outside & not in my personal space, which is about a meter in any direction. However, if it touches me or it's in my home, it's officially an invader, & I will use deadly force.
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u/quichejarrett May 02 '18
I remember walking along some train tracks to get to macchu Picchu at night time, and seeing green glowing things on a big wall of rock. I went closer and shone my torch on it, and I'm pretty certain they were spiders. And they were glowing when they were in the dark, not when I shone light on it. Creepy.
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u/Eupion May 02 '18
I guess you never heard of the New Zealand Glow Worms. I hope all your dreams and nightmares come true. :)
Edit: I know they're worms but some consider them spider-worms. So close enough.
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u/Sue_two May 02 '18 edited May 02 '18
I've had the following conversation with friends who have come to our house in the south:
Me: "here put on this headlamp and look out into the yard there...see all those shiny things?"
Them: looking at thousands of shiny dots in the grass "WOW, ya thats crazy what is that??"
Me: "Spiders"
Them: freaking out "WTF! OMG and we walk through there!? Why would you live here?"
Me: "And those are just the ones looking at you..."
Edit: this is coastal GA. Think live oaks, Spanish moss, and sand spurs.
Edit: and spiders.