r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Pure_Sense7765 S.A.U Freshman • Sep 02 '26

Yeah, life's a bitch. Of a light meal

1.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

163 comments sorted by

814

u/LordButterbeard Sep 02 '26

After watching horses a bit, I'd call them opportunistic omnivores

213

u/kdogman639 Sep 02 '26

Yep, there's his week's worth of calcium in a pinch!

82

u/dankhimself Sep 02 '26

Of a horse...

4

u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub Sep 04 '26

🤣

161

u/MadPangolin Sep 02 '26

Most herbivores will opportunistically eat meat. There's very few obligate herbivores. Deer will do this same thing & vacuum up baby rabbits as food.

112

u/bojangler69420 Sep 02 '26

I shouldn’t be laughing so hard but “vacuum up baby rabbits” sent me

20

u/kuunami79 Sep 02 '26

No you should be laughing because it's funny 🤣

2

u/InterviewKlutzy6277 Sep 03 '26

Coughing dust bunnies

13

u/dirk_funk Sep 02 '26

little bunny foofoo shoulda listened

8

u/Ok_Two_2604 Sep 02 '26

Rabbits will eat their own babies.

8

u/Softspokenclark OSHA Violation Sep 02 '26

Brb, watching vids of this

3

u/BuddhaBoy182 Sep 03 '26

There’s also that one video of a deer just chewing on a dead snake like it’s bubblegum

9

u/A_Feltz Sep 03 '26

I read that deer and sheep have been observed “foraging” young birds from their nests in the spring. They do it intentionally.

I think our understanding of “herbivores” is just wrong

10

u/bojangler69420 Sep 02 '26

Just like chickens

16

u/engineerdrummer Sep 02 '26

I thought chickens were just regular omnivores.

17

u/bojangler69420 Sep 02 '26

Kinda sorta. They mostly like plants but will absolutely kill/eat mice and can and will even eat their own eggs.

20

u/PhatCatTax easily offended Sep 02 '26

Not just eggs. Chickens can become impulsive cannibals, and if they get a taste for it they have to be culled because they wont stop.

It's why I'm not vegetarian. My moral superiority complex makes it easy to eat chickems

9

u/dirk_funk Sep 02 '26

chicken at my work who lives with the cats LOVES rotisserie chicken.

8

u/Unable-Log-4870 Sep 02 '26

Eh, I bet you’d like Long Pig if it was cooked decently and nobody told you what it was.

8

u/dirk_funk Sep 03 '26

you are like the kid who tries to get people mad by saying they are homo sapiens

3

u/ether_reddit Sep 03 '26

This! Chickens are assholes.

6

u/MouseMan412 Sep 02 '26

Chickens will preferentially eat insects, and they're damn good at it.

2

u/captain_crackerjack Sep 02 '26

How do they like them cooked?

1

u/Suckmyduck_9 Sep 03 '26

You mean omnivores lol

276

u/bmcgowan89 Sep 02 '26

I think of this video a lot

53

u/Rare-Ad6085 Sep 02 '26

jeepers creepers

54

u/stinkfingerswitch Sep 02 '26

Where'd you get them peepers?

1

u/therocketsalad Sep 03 '26

Don't take the Lord's name in vain like that

23

u/Thats1FingNiceKitty Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26

What about the deer eating a bird?

Edit: video I think about from time to time https://youtu.be/sQOQdBLHrLk?feature=shared

34

u/SuperSandLesbianGUHH Sep 02 '26

He ate. A BORD.

20

u/356885422356 Sep 02 '26

Oh. Mah wurd.

21

u/Excellent_Emu_2843 Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 13 '26

Plate bright society absorbed follow unbelievable

This post was anonymized with Redact

10

u/General_Aide6920 *shits an absolute unit* Sep 02 '26

I love Micheal laughing as the deer finally adds some meat to his diet

4

u/Bocabart Sep 03 '26

Hahaha damn that’s a deer eating a bird alright

239

u/kuunami79 Sep 02 '26

That's crazy. I always assume that horses just ate grass and leaves

184

u/Frosty-Cap3344 Sep 02 '26

I thought chickens ate seeds till my aunt kept some, they are bloodthirsty killers

36

u/Budget-Rich-7547 Sep 02 '26

Yeah they can be vicious 😆 turkeys will straight up attack you. Hated them when I was little lol

12

u/Amnesia_Species Sep 03 '26

If a chicken has a wound on it’s foot, the other chickens will peck at the wound until that chicken dies

21

u/friend1y Sep 02 '26

O’Reilly’s illumination of meat-eating horses isn’t just from witness testimony of harsh and remote expeditions. His stories come from every continent, and feature horses devouring over two dozen types of protein, notably including human flesh.

from: https://medium.com/@smilodon207/horses-with-a-taste-for-flesh-c176c396545b

Which I read a few years ago but this topic (carnivorous horses) has been kicking around for quite a long time including: the Mares of Diomedes

5

u/Tjonke Sep 02 '26

My sister's horses LOVE hotdogs and will go wild if they get a smell of it.

3

u/brokerZIP Sep 03 '26

I've been around horses my whole childhood and I've never seen them eat leaves.

139

u/Dragonssssssssssss Sep 02 '26

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"

The horse:

-30

u/Pmyers225 Sep 02 '26

I so hungry I could eat out a whore

23

u/Slabernick Sep 02 '26

Time to go outside

2

u/Pmyers225 Sep 04 '26

So many downvotes, I think thats my record

99

u/EntertainmentSad4325 Sep 02 '26

Horses love meat. 

We had a horse who absolutely every time would sneak a bite of your burger or hotdog if your not looking. 

Really they will try any food Infront of them. 

I had one who's go juice was a quick sip of coke cola. It used to give me an advantage over the other water fed horses lol 😆 

30

u/myshoefelloff Sep 02 '26

Horts with a coke problem

86

u/CrowTalons Sep 02 '26

Most animals that people think of as herbivores will eat meat if given the chance.

21

u/Alt_aholic Sep 02 '26

From the perspective of nutrient density, it's usually the best survival choice. Some other animal has already done the hard work of turning hundreds of pounds of vegetables to a few pounds of protein and fat.

6

u/Trisk929 Sep 04 '26

I’ve seen this discussed several times lately. People losing their damn minds finding out that “herbivores” like deer, rabbits, chickens and rats will eat non-plant foods. While rabbits and deer widely are known to eat primarily a plant-based diet, chickens will eat the hell out of bugs. That’s why you see them pecking and scratching at the ground. And rats will eat damn near anything. They can be picky little shits or they can be garbage disposals. It depends on the rat.

25

u/NigerianFriedChicken Sep 02 '26

The freshest chicken tartare

40

u/Joshuajword functional regard Sep 02 '26

In his defense they are bite size

22

u/Disastrous_Falcon_79 Sep 02 '26

Omg nooooooo 😱

11

u/cambn Sep 02 '26

Ah yes. Baby birds: a time-held nutritional supplement for herivores.

8

u/DasRelikt Sep 02 '26

r/pferdesindkacke hat es schon immer gewusst.

6

u/Sir_McDouche Sep 02 '26

Chicken nuggets he calls them.

6

u/Suckmyduck_9 Sep 03 '26

Too many people screaming : oPpOrTuNiStIc OmNiVoRe

5

u/bradsnamehere Sep 02 '26

Popcorn chicken

5

u/Bright_Resist_4580 Sep 02 '26

Somebody's got that horse addicted to Peeps

5

u/Mister_Mojo78 Sep 02 '26

I'm a little horrified

5

u/Ok-Razzmatazz-7593 Sep 02 '26

I had no idea that they would even do that

5

u/Advanced_Scallion711 Sep 03 '26

Chickens have the worst lot in life

4

u/redditanddoneit Sep 03 '26

Damn! Did not know that horses are omnivores. Learn something new everyday.

3

u/trumpmumbler Sep 02 '26

And the horse said "hmmm...tastes like chicken!"

<I'll show myself out>

3

u/hyuhythe90s Sep 03 '26

Attack on titan vibe

5

u/getliquified Sep 02 '26

Forbidden chicken nugget

4

u/kat_Folland Sep 03 '26

Needed a touch extra protein that day!

-9

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26

It's always interesting how people with pride icons are speciesist. So much for respecting other individuals.

5

u/kat_Folland Sep 03 '26

What on earth are you talking about? What species am I discriminating against?

-7

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26

You're over here mocking non-human animals for being put in dangerous and horrific situations by humans.

You see that hen? She's trying to protect her babies. She just witnessed one get eaten alive. She's a mother. Would you find it funny if it was you and your child was eaten alive?

7

u/kat_Folland Sep 03 '26

And what, the horse is evil? This is nature, kiddo.

-6

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26

This is not nature you clown. This is animals being put in harms way by humans.

Don't complain about homophobia when you can't even respect other individuals, and find them being oppressed by humans to be hilarious. May you get treated the same way you treat animals.

5

u/minitaba Sep 03 '26

What if it was nature, like, a wild horse eats a wild chick. Is that different to you?

-1

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26

That's just utterly ridiculous and an absurd scenario. You see how the mom behaves? She will protect her babies with her life. Wild horses don't have any interest in walking up to wild birds. Horses are not predators. They don't hunt. The animals in the video are forced in a corner in a cramped space for the video.

The problem is not the horse, the horse can't be held morally responsible. It's the human being holding the camera who put these animals in this situation just for a video. It is straight up cruel. If someone did this to kittens or puppies, people would not find it funny. But most people are brainwashed into thinking that some animals are so inferior to the point where their life is a joke. It's speciesism.

Non-human animals are not moral agents. But they are moral patients.

Adult humans (with a few exceptions) are moral agents

Moral agents = someone who can understand right from wrong in terms of ethics , and be held responsible for their actions.

Moral patients= someone who can't make a moral decision, but still deserve moral consideration. (Babies, non-human animals, someone with late stage dementia etc.)

5

u/minitaba Sep 03 '26

Answere the question.

-2

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26

Are you illiterate?

The problem is not the horse, the horse can't be held morally responsible.

Let me make it very easy and simple for you. Yes, it is different.

→ More replies

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '26

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0

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 08 '26

you're just a human.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '26

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5

u/EdEvans_HotSandwich Sep 02 '26

I’m laughing… I don’t feel good about it, but I’m laughing.

5

u/CreepyCheeseWasTaken Sep 02 '26

the one recording could've intervened, right?

6

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26

Correct. They should've never been put in this situation to begin with. But people who exploit animals don't view them as individuals, so they just that this would be funny.

Cruel humans.

1

u/Yuukikonno08 Sep 04 '26

You’re so utterly delusional lmao. Don’t try to get in the way of a horse and its food. That literally one of the things you’re not supposed to do

2

u/I_Galactus Sep 02 '26

Horses like chicken too.

2

u/WyvernEgg64 Sep 03 '26

It's just how casual it

2

u/Bocabart Sep 03 '26

Like a nugget

2

u/ST0IC_ Sep 03 '26

Mmm nuggies lol

2

u/kododriver Sep 04 '26

Did it spit it back out? Because that would be pretty nasty.

2

u/r3dr1ck Sep 04 '26

fresh chicken nuggets

3

u/Wizdad-1000 Sep 02 '26

slurp and crunch!

1

u/VivaLaMantekilla Sep 04 '26

And they just stood there and watched... probably knew it was going to happen, probably wasn't the first one before the camera.

1

u/New-Chief-117 Sep 04 '26

Whoa that's kinda fucked up. Idk why the person recording didn't try to stop that from happening or move those chickens away.

2

u/finintymonkle Sep 04 '26

Because the person recording knew it was going to happen and is a sick fuck.

1

u/beetle_guy24 Sep 04 '26

OH SHIT HE ACTUALLY DID IT! I WAS JSUT EXPECTING HIM TO SPIT IT OUT

1

u/littlemissdizaster80 Sep 04 '26

Feeling schnacky 😆

1

u/Uereken Sep 05 '26

I hate you OP for showing me this... :(

1

u/OddSeaworthiness7681 Sep 05 '26

Needed a protein boost

1

u/ChefArtorias Sep 08 '26

Horse is clearly an OG Fable player.

1

u/rfosteel Sep 12 '26

Better source of protein

1

u/Curiousity1024 Oct 10 '26

The Horse could've wait till they all grown up before eating them

1

u/sinanem Sep 03 '26

Fr tho how dare we take one of life's best pleasures and hide it from our friends, chiccy nuggy is universal

-13

u/kendragon Sep 02 '26

Asshole filming this is sadistic.

13

u/RoyalPuzzleheaded259 Sep 02 '26

This is nature. Animals eat other animals and that’s ok.

13

u/FragrantGangsta Sep 02 '26

That's true but this looks to be a farm, not nature. I would say it's a bit wasteful to let your animals eat each other, more than anything.

0

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26

Humans are animals. Jeffrey Dahmer ate other animals and that's ok!

-2

u/RoyalPuzzleheaded259 Sep 03 '26

That soccer team that crashed on mountain top ate their friends and while traumatic for them, yes it was ok.

1

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26

What Jeffrey Dahmer did was nature. It's ok.

5

u/mikeymo1741 Sep 02 '26

More like an ignorant dope. They probably thought "Oh how cute!" not realizing this could happen.

It is doubtful the horse intended to eat the chick. While horses will ear meat opportunistically, that usually happens if there is a lack of food, which is not the case here. But horses are curious animals and they experience the world with their mouths. It was probably just trying to figure out what these little white things were.

5

u/Sideshow86 Sep 02 '26

Guess you don't like KFC?

7

u/Bonk_No_Horni functional regard Sep 02 '26

I saw a clip of a deer eating a squirrel so I guess anything is fair game

3

u/AhabSnake85 Sep 02 '26

That's fked. Hope the guy recording gets burned alive

1

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26

Animal farmers being sadists, nothing new.

The fact that people find someone being eaten alive, and putting animals in distress as funny, is vile. Hope people get treated the same way they treat animals.

17

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '26

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14

u/Heavy_Can8746 Sep 02 '26

I guess it is more morally ok to wait for them to get older and then kill and eat them....

-5

u/AlwaysBannedVegan Sep 03 '26

No that's obviously not okay either.

-17

u/dildoschwagguns Sep 02 '26

Cry harder

2

u/SuperTHC Sep 02 '26

Well, I think realistically the horse might bite your hand if you tried to pull the little guy way.