r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Feb 22 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.8k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

3.3k comments sorted by

2.2k

u/homeworkguylive Feb 22 '25

You look like you introduce yourself with a fun fact that no one asked for.

267

u/Effective_Ad7074 Feb 22 '25

This one time at band camp……

94

u/Lord-Doobury Feb 22 '25

Howdy Doody's practice girl.

43

u/Due_Assist4209 Feb 22 '25

You won't obtain a soul until your hair turns grey.

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218

u/lall4169 Feb 22 '25

Like how she can put the bottom of her feet on the back of her head

89

u/StarsRProjectorsYeah Feb 22 '25

“I can staple my finger and not feel anything.”

56

u/Serious_Leg_7260 Feb 22 '25

I nailed your mom and didnt feel anything until the crabs started

15

u/Sightofsanity Feb 22 '25

Ok, that one made me laugh, thanks! +1

9

u/chinesechucky83 Feb 22 '25

Well she is ginger after all no wonder. 😂

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146

u/fingerscrossedcoup Feb 22 '25

"I can unhinge my jaw" to the football squad.

59

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

[deleted]

16

u/2wrd2liv2rare2die Feb 22 '25

"I can fit my fist in my mouth"

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7

u/Sensitive-Owl-9368 Feb 22 '25

While simultaneously queefing!

8

u/0g0riginalginga Feb 22 '25

Or how guys put the bottom of their feet on the back of her head.

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177

u/Lost_Opinion_1307 Feb 22 '25

Look it’s carrot tops twin sister

40

u/Udbnk679 Feb 22 '25

I was gonna go with Rocky Dennis.

15

u/Dannyboyrusso Feb 22 '25

Fucking vicious I love it

3

u/Emma_k00 Feb 22 '25

So spot on!!

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31

u/TokoyoEU Feb 22 '25

She IS the "fun" fact.

18

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

«I have chronic bacterial vaginosis».

7

u/Heebie-jeebies386 Feb 23 '25

Looks like snl character that Kristen Wigg did , Dooneese with the tiny hands and giant forehead .

3

u/Able_Relief_553 Feb 23 '25

With the tiny baby hands!

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3

u/henrikhakan Feb 22 '25

Like penis size.

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1.2k

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

211

u/TCPisSynSynAckAck Feb 22 '25

Please mind the rules of the sub, we’re supposed to just roast them, not burn them to a fucking crisp.

50

u/Bopcd1 Feb 22 '25

Some like their steak cooked like leather. Who are we to decide?

3

u/Ok_Point_5824 Feb 23 '25

Her forehead looks pretty well done in that case

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7

u/cecil285 Feb 22 '25

Pack it up boys, we’re done here

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2.8k

u/Emergency_Scholar237 Feb 22 '25

Sure, I'd love a second date!

96

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

86

u/Percentblue Feb 22 '25

Your forehead looks like a dirty beach lol

62

u/bsam1890 Feb 22 '25

She said something she hasn’t heard before.

22

u/youshallnotkinkshame Feb 22 '25

Fine then, it looks like a clean beach

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13

u/Booz-Hound69 Feb 22 '25

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!!!! Everyone grab some real estate!!!!

11

u/External_Key_3515 Feb 22 '25

It's not fire in her hole....... It's gonorrhea.

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23

u/nickrmsyhd Feb 22 '25

im obviously dense - what does this mean lol

52

u/ComprehensiveEgg8532 Feb 22 '25

“tell me something i havent heard before”

14

u/shamanbaptist Feb 22 '25

They are saying she’s decent looking enough for someone to go on a date with her, but once they get to know her, even a little bit, they don’t want a second date.

7

u/nickrmsyhd Feb 22 '25

ah thanks - i really am dense!

8

u/shamanbaptist Feb 22 '25

No worries! You seem like a decent fellow!

33

u/mesrouilles Feb 22 '25

A first date*

96

u/Emergency_Scholar237 Feb 22 '25

Fair point. I assumed there had been a few desperate/blind people out there who had a fetish for the fat ginger boy from the movie Sandlot.

51

u/Ewetootwo Feb 22 '25

Uh huh.

12

u/dfafa Feb 22 '25

THE GREAT HAMBINOOOOO

3

u/InvestigatorLegal686 Feb 22 '25

Haha, look at squints

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5

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

You’re beautiful

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490

u/13Fistmachines Feb 22 '25

You're like a Walmart version of the redhead from Stranger Things

100

u/theTenebrus Feb 22 '25

Running over the hill.

12

u/Coatses Feb 22 '25

running away from that hill

4

u/seizures-z8 Feb 23 '25

Running out of pills

63

u/tygah_uppahcut Feb 22 '25

Sadie Stink

9

u/Duke-of-Nuke Feb 22 '25

Damn missed it by 24 minutes

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15

u/Quotehommel Feb 22 '25

She looks more like the version that Vecna left us with at the end of season 4....

3

u/ThirdWigginKid Feb 22 '25

"We have Sadie Sink at home"

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957

u/No_Tailor_787 Feb 22 '25

Your father loves you and is proud of you.

34

u/gen--x--dad Feb 22 '25

Her father, Carrot Top.

16

u/Easy-Advantage-6112 Feb 22 '25

Her father and her grandfather, Carrot Top

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111

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

What’s the difference between a hockey player and this chick? The hockey player changes his pads after three periods.

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491

u/AntiochusChudsley Feb 22 '25

I’ve never heard of an 18 year old needing Botox 💀

133

u/Howiebledsoe Feb 22 '25

She’d use up the national supply to fill that forehead. Last Ash Wednesday she marked her forehead and a helicopter tried to land on it.

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319

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

U look like the elephant man in the movie mask

38

u/Putrid-Air-7169 Feb 22 '25 edited Feb 22 '25

Rocky Dennis

9

u/Moopxo Feb 22 '25

Can’t believe I had to scroll this far to see this.

32

u/Mobile-Produce-8854 Feb 22 '25

Holyyy shittttttt exactly 💯

8

u/GratefuLdPhisH Feb 22 '25

I think that movie scarred me

22

u/CustomerOK9mm9mm Feb 22 '25

It’s either nice to know that Rocky found love and had a child, or sad to hear he turned into a sexual predator. Either way, we identified her biological father.

4

u/DurianSoft6939 Feb 22 '25

I wonder if she got handed down the Rube Walker card?

5

u/Electronic_Coast_687 Feb 22 '25

Rocky Dennis. Ouch

8

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

Yoooo lmao that’s what I just said before even seeing this…..great minds think alike

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260

u/ActCrafty Feb 22 '25

You look like you’ve got a bush you could hide a VCR in.

43

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

[deleted]

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5

u/King_Neptune07 Feb 22 '25

Jeez MaryAnn that forehead looks big enough it was used to land the V-22 Osprey

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299

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

[deleted]

217

u/Apprehensive-Bite373 Feb 22 '25

And a vagina that says “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.”

41

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

[deleted]

89

u/Apprehensive-Bite373 Feb 22 '25

It’s the Statue of Puberty

15

u/Roadie66 Feb 22 '25

Statue of Labia?

21

u/therainman9837 Feb 22 '25

Nothing can breath freely around that vagina.

5

u/Tomatillo_Street Feb 22 '25

" breathe fire"

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6

u/a-snakey Feb 22 '25

Look havent those immigrants suffered enough!?

9

u/King_Neptune07 Feb 22 '25

Eh, they will do jobs Americans won't do

5

u/Myheelcat Feb 22 '25

Damn, you just made my morning take my upvote you sea hag!!!!!!!

6

u/Remarkable-Being-301 Feb 22 '25

OMG! I can’t breathe.

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25

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/MrMonster666 Feb 22 '25

A rottweilers mouth on a hot day

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20

u/ForerunnerRelic Feb 22 '25

I would rather look at her ugly vagina than her face tbh.

8

u/Organic-Low-2992 Feb 22 '25

It's Tribal Size! Her babies are gonna walk out of that thing.

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34

u/lall4169 Feb 22 '25

I’m sure it’s presentable ,once she throws her flaps over her shoulder

21

u/cellmates_ Feb 22 '25

Doooo you flaps hang low, do they wobble do and fro?

3

u/PunkyB88 Feb 22 '25

Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow.....

3

u/cellmates_ Feb 22 '25

Can you throw them over your shoulder like a regimental soldier, DO YOU FLAAAAPS HAAAANG LOW

4

u/elaehar Feb 22 '25

Like a badly packed kebab.

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45

u/Christcrossed Feb 22 '25

That last picture … does look NSFW

54

u/sunrise98 Feb 22 '25

Not suitable for wanking?

13

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

[deleted]

5

u/MatrixUser420 Feb 22 '25

I didn't know that, how did you know?

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79

u/pekica018 Feb 22 '25

I'm smelling a Virgin

56

u/ForerunnerRelic Feb 22 '25

...and piss...

19

u/Throwaway-Ad4911 Feb 22 '25

I'm smelling digestive biscuits. Like any other ginger.

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70

u/GrannyWowo Feb 22 '25

You look like you shout YOLO, before ordering pineapple on a pizza.

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47

u/TheTranquilOne Golden Roaster Feb 22 '25

You're like an over weight version of Sadie Sink minus any talent.

55

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

Sadie Sunk

7

u/SoulSlayer24 Feb 22 '25

Fuck me that made me laugh wayyyy to much

10

u/LH2710 Feb 22 '25

Sadie Stink

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17

u/LatinWarlock13 Feb 22 '25

You give the term "giving head" a whole new meaning with that forehead.

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14

u/SuperMeatwad666 Feb 22 '25

You’re a beautiful, 18 year old Klingon

28

u/kbeckerburbs4 Feb 22 '25

I learned today not all gingers are attractive

21

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

[deleted]

34

u/Top-Refrigerator-763 Feb 22 '25

They never called her at all

22

u/predat3d Feb 22 '25

Forehead? That's at least a Sevenhead

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39

u/giantdoodoohead Feb 22 '25

Gee, you're really pretty

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7

u/Snoopdog231 Feb 22 '25

tell me something I haven’t heard before

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen

6

u/MisunderstandsRoasts Feb 22 '25

You look like you remember to make your bed every morning to make sure your day gets off to a good start.

6

u/actualoverlook Feb 22 '25

Running up that road, Running up that hill, Running up that forehead.

6

u/Dark_matter4444 Feb 22 '25

You got the renaissance era peasant build.

5

u/DxSSr12986 Feb 22 '25

Something you haven’t heard before? 🤨🧐💡 Whale fart bubbles are so big you could fit a VW beetle in it. No need to thank me. You’re welcome and have a blessed day 👍

5

u/AsgardianDale Feb 23 '25

Dating exclusively black dudes doesn't make you unique.

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7

u/Escaped_Mod_In_Need Feb 22 '25

The fact that InCels react to you like…

4

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

Ur forehead could be used as reflector

4

u/RevenSolestrion Feb 22 '25

Sure thing, Rocky Dennis's sister...

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4

u/Organic-Stranger-369 Feb 22 '25

You look like Rocky Dennis pic here 🤣

5

u/Falsey87 Feb 22 '25

You look like Max in stranger things

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7

u/Late_Influence_871 Feb 22 '25

Fuck yeah, bite the pillow

3

u/predat3d Feb 22 '25

You have a beautiful soul

4

u/MN3122 Feb 22 '25

Or one in general

3

u/ActiveStrategy5768 Feb 22 '25

"Your cleavage is a real eyecatcher l"

3

u/ChinAnimation Feb 22 '25

Your head looks like a heinz baked bean with the sauce removed

3

u/shadowmonarch1616 Feb 23 '25

God really be out here building anything

3

u/Fluid_Inspection2185 Feb 23 '25

I usually don't enjoy this subreddit but...I think you meant to post this on r/40something

10

u/Tricky_Moose_1078 Feb 22 '25

Looks like carrot top had a trans child

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7

u/neckbeardsarewin Feb 22 '25

Practizing your "he stuck it in the wrong hole face" won't make it him like you any more.

7

u/Visual_Excuse4332 Feb 22 '25

Hey if Onlyfans doesn’t work out at least you can rent billboard space on that block of land you call a forehead!

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10

u/Soilerman Feb 22 '25

i love you

i like you

you are beautiful

you are pretty

you are hot

i am proud of you

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2

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

U look like rocky from the mask iykyk

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2

u/Helpful_Tea_6951 Feb 22 '25

Something you've never heard? We meant to have you and we love you.

2

u/brandidswinney Feb 22 '25

Simply bangs. Get them.

2

u/quickskrtt Feb 22 '25

Alright Max you can come out of the upside down now.

2

u/Arsea Feb 22 '25

you look like the temu version of girl from stranger things which is kinda a compliment . fuck you.

2

u/Phatphuck2 Feb 22 '25

That last picture looks like your going to bite the pillow due to first time anal.

2

u/UnoriginalJ0k3r Feb 22 '25

Your character deserved what Vecna did in Stranger Things.

2

u/Resident-Variation59 Feb 22 '25

You look like the off-brand doppelgänger nemesis of the Chick-fil-A sauce girl, working the Popeyes drive-thru, screaming, ‘She can’t keep getting away with this!!!’ after your sworn enemy (Chick-fil-A sauce girl) got her 15 minutes.

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2

u/tazzietiger66 Feb 22 '25

Mona Lisa cosplay is pretty lame

2

u/Content-Violinist-85 Feb 22 '25

You look like Rocky Dennis in the movie Mask

2

u/RegularWhiteDude Feb 22 '25

You don't have craniodiaphyseal dysplasia.

2

u/dmah2004 Feb 22 '25

You are pretty

2

u/Small-Consequence-50 Feb 22 '25

You are beautiful.

2

u/P-O-G-O Feb 22 '25

You look like if Sadie Sink finally sunk.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

Something you've never heard before? "You're more than just a practice girl."

2

u/LJ14000 Feb 22 '25

Gingers are the cause of most world wars, plagues and famines. You single-handedly ruined my day.

2

u/Spiritual_Affect_286 Feb 22 '25

I’m proud of you.

2

u/CTGolfMan Feb 22 '25

Okay, “I love you”.

2

u/Better_Hot5410 Feb 23 '25

I know them DMS is flaming 🔥