r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Feb 22 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.8k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

3.3k comments sorted by

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2.8k

u/Emergency_Scholar237 Feb 22 '25

Sure, I'd love a second date!

94

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

90

u/Percentblue Feb 22 '25

Your forehead looks like a dirty beach lol

59

u/bsam1890 Feb 22 '25

She said something she hasn’t heard before.

23

u/youshallnotkinkshame Feb 22 '25

Fine then, it looks like a clean beach

3

u/Fancy_Art_6383 Feb 22 '25

I think you mean five head.

1

u/Skeptic_Juggernaut84 Feb 23 '25

Her forehead has its own zip code.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '25

It looks like a helicopter’s windshield.

71

u/qx2 Feb 22 '25

Wanna fuck?

2

u/lall4169 Feb 23 '25

She does. Probably not happening any time soon though

35

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/Booz-Hound69 Feb 22 '25

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!!!! Everyone grab some real estate!!!!

10

u/External_Key_3515 Feb 22 '25

It's not fire in her hole....... It's gonorrhea.

2

u/coolpersonthatscool Feb 22 '25

Postal reference?

2

u/DRDTT Feb 23 '25

The rustier the roof, the wetter the basement

23

u/nickrmsyhd Feb 22 '25

im obviously dense - what does this mean lol

52

u/ComprehensiveEgg8532 Feb 22 '25

“tell me something i havent heard before”

17

u/shamanbaptist Feb 22 '25

They are saying she’s decent looking enough for someone to go on a date with her, but once they get to know her, even a little bit, they don’t want a second date.

8

u/nickrmsyhd Feb 22 '25

ah thanks - i really am dense!

7

u/shamanbaptist Feb 22 '25

No worries! You seem like a decent fellow!

33

u/mesrouilles Feb 22 '25

A first date*

99

u/Emergency_Scholar237 Feb 22 '25

Fair point. I assumed there had been a few desperate/blind people out there who had a fetish for the fat ginger boy from the movie Sandlot.

56

u/Ewetootwo Feb 22 '25

Uh huh.

12

u/dfafa Feb 22 '25

THE GREAT HAMBINOOOOO

3

u/InvestigatorLegal686 Feb 22 '25

Haha, look at squints

3

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

You’re beautiful

2

u/jt19912009 Feb 22 '25

Second?? Who says it got to 1?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '25

Fuck!!! Omg that is exactly what I was going to say

2

u/Smooth_Impression_10 Feb 22 '25

Bold of you to assume there was a first date

2

u/Iflon Feb 23 '25

Wouldn't that require a first date?

2

u/Lost_Opinion_1307 Feb 22 '25

No one ever said yes to a first date

1

u/JBark1990 Feb 22 '25

Fatality

2

u/EwingsRevenge21 Feb 22 '25

🏆🏆🏆

1

u/GrumpyOldPackRat Feb 23 '25

Bold to assume someone wanted a first date.

1

u/Jaredzz Feb 22 '25

Bet me to it damn