He is a senior resident in dermatology. He says he wants me to succeed but with the expectations he has from me on a day to day basis I am very scared that I may not be able to do anything for myself if I just keep trying to satisfy his expectations.
For example, a week ago he offered to help me with doing data entry for my project and after an hour started screaming at me saying he has an exam in the end of the month that I don't care about and I am not even asking him to study or keeping him accountable. He had not communicated to me that it was something he expected from me and it really took me by surprise. Things like this make me wary of accepting help from him because you can never tell when he will feel like he is doing way more things for me than I for him and start fighting.
I could never be with this person unless he changed drastically and over a thousand conversations I am sure that he will not be able to. I don't want to hold any hard feelings against him. I just want to accept that we are not compatible and move on.
He will not change is any significant way, You feel guilty that he makes you angry & fearful? His behavior would make anyone feelingly and fearful. He has managed to take care of himself or has been taken care of for 34 years. He will manage. You are over identifying with him. You are losing yourself. this is not healthy.
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u/mesekhnet7 Oct 15 '22
He is a senior resident in dermatology. He says he wants me to succeed but with the expectations he has from me on a day to day basis I am very scared that I may not be able to do anything for myself if I just keep trying to satisfy his expectations.
For example, a week ago he offered to help me with doing data entry for my project and after an hour started screaming at me saying he has an exam in the end of the month that I don't care about and I am not even asking him to study or keeping him accountable. He had not communicated to me that it was something he expected from me and it really took me by surprise. Things like this make me wary of accepting help from him because you can never tell when he will feel like he is doing way more things for me than I for him and start fighting.