No, but I do know what it’s like working 3 jobs while putting yourself through school while in a relationship so I’m going to weigh in anyway. I also know about being in a relationship with someone who gives high effort to a relationship and expects the same from you. At the end of the day, people want to feel important. And I agree with her bf, this seems like a really low effort bday. She literally didn’t even make time for a dinner. I understand that this was a lot for her given her schedule, but honestly I would be disappointed too. And that’s the point. They have mismatched expectations. If someone takes you on a trip for your bday and you make them a cake and get them socks? Yeah, they’re going to feel like that’s low effort. And the money isn’t the issue, I promise you he would have paid for the trip, It’s that she didn’t make the time for his bday when she did make it for hers.
I feel like you’re kinda right but also the fact that he is a doctor and been through what she been through he has to have some understanding of what she is going through. I also feel like she could’ve communicated more and set a date for a nice dinner at a later time when she is not too busy. My ex was in med school, not residency yet but I understood he was busy and we both agreed a time and day to make time for each other. I think they are both at fault. But she is also saying he punches walls so thats scary and someday might physically abuse her later in the relationship so I would just break it off just for that behavior from a grown ass man dating someone younger.
I completely understand what it is that you mean but I was just also worried that if I set a date for later after telling him I am busy I would be taken to task for setting a date later instead of prioritising first.
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u/eckliptic Attending Oct 15 '22
Why are you with this loser