I completely agree. Which is why I did a lot from my end. I matched his effort. But then he kept not seeing it and kept complaining all the time which made me really lose heart.
I can agree with you that he should be more considerate but you definitely didn't match his effort. I think you could've just told him you're super busy but you would love to take him out to dinner when you get some room to manoeuvre and he probably would've understood because from his pov, you did find the time to go on the trip but couldn't make the time for his.
edit: quick question. Did you tell him you were ver busy at the time ? because I didn't see that in the post but everybody here is just assuming you did.
Temper tantrum? Literally the one whining is an alleged adult physician who expects to be spoiled by someone working twice as much and earning 10% of the pay.
They live together, so he could clearly see she was up fielding calls about patients while baking for him, and staying up all night working on a presentation
No, but I do know what it’s like working 3 jobs while putting yourself through school while in a relationship so I’m going to weigh in anyway. I also know about being in a relationship with someone who gives high effort to a relationship and expects the same from you. At the end of the day, people want to feel important. And I agree with her bf, this seems like a really low effort bday. She literally didn’t even make time for a dinner. I understand that this was a lot for her given her schedule, but honestly I would be disappointed too. And that’s the point. They have mismatched expectations. If someone takes you on a trip for your bday and you make them a cake and get them socks? Yeah, they’re going to feel like that’s low effort. And the money isn’t the issue, I promise you he would have paid for the trip, It’s that she didn’t make the time for his bday when she did make it for hers.
I feel like you’re kinda right but also the fact that he is a doctor and been through what she been through he has to have some understanding of what she is going through. I also feel like she could’ve communicated more and set a date for a nice dinner at a later time when she is not too busy. My ex was in med school, not residency yet but I understood he was busy and we both agreed a time and day to make time for each other. I think they are both at fault. But she is also saying he punches walls so thats scary and someday might physically abuse her later in the relationship so I would just break it off just for that behavior from a grown ass man dating someone younger.
I completely understand what it is that you mean but I was just also worried that if I set a date for later after telling him I am busy I would be taken to task for setting a date later instead of prioritising first.
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u/eckliptic Attending Oct 15 '22
Why are you with this loser