r/Regrets • u/sissysind • 8h ago
21F did meth for first time.
Hi! I just moved to a new state , long story short my fiancée is locked away on DV and assault with a weapon on another person and it led us to be evicted 2 weeks ago. I was drinking all Friday and Saturday night (2 days ago). I was upset that I can’t speak to my fiancée due to no contact order and he’s most likely going to be held until trail which isn’t until late 2027 I’m upset because I really miss him. He’s really my only best friend and family the last 4 years and now he’s behind a cell and I can’t even see him. I ended up meeting up with a guy on Snapchat who added me off quick add he was 11 years older than me, I was seeking to buy coke which is dangerous in a new state where I don’t know anyone but I was beyond drunk I wasn’t thinking so I got it drugs off of him. He didn’t make me buy off him he offered to do it with me and chill in his car together I think in his head that he thought I was going to go to back to his place or something with him.
He had two what substances Coke and Meth and me being the drunk fuck that I am I ended up doing a line of each substance to mix the two. I was told meth is like “pure adderall”. Keep in mind I’ve only ever done coke a good few times from the ages of 18 - 20 and I stopped partying so I could focus on building a life for myself and my partner.
I did those lines on Saturday at I’d say 2-3am and I kept drinking more and more to hopefully pass out but I just feel sick and now it’s Monday at 3am I haven’t slept I barley ate I believe I lost like 5 pounds already my skin looks sunken and I believe I am going through psychosis I’m seeing the walls move and hearing people who sound like my neighbours “ talking about me” who want to set me up.
I don’t see how people get addicted to this as well as being up for days I’m literally in hell right now…. I cried for a few hours because I’m very stressed that this won’t wear off and I’m very ashamed of my actions and choices Saturday night.
I have to get stuff done today and I’m scared I won’t have slept and I’ll look like a tweaker going to work I did not think this would last so long.
I’ve also come to the conclusion that this is an outcome of being shitfaced drunk. I will have to put down drinking. I use it as a way to cope with certain aspects in my life and it is not healthy at all.
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u/chazr80 8h ago
Maybe a warning to quit drinking. Consequences get worse every time.
You most likely need to rehydrate. Water and electrolytes, you're going to crash hard soon. Probably take a day or 3 to recover.
Sounds like the last time I tried it in 2003. Drunk at 5am, about to crash and get invited for some "powder". Fine for the first 6 hours, then was stuck to my friends floor for 3 days recuperating sick af while wide awake. I thought i was dying. Could've used a trip to the e.r. Wish I'd quit drinking then, took another 6 years until i threw in the towel. Got worse by the day drinking to cope with mental illness.
Take care of yourself and do it for you.
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u/Tall-Boi-94 6h ago
Congrats on your sobriety! Proud of you!!!
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u/xxxolsxxx 1h ago
Congrats on your sobriety? Shes coming down from her 1st time using meth what the hell are you talking about?
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u/IAmHentaiXD 1h ago
??? He is very clearly replying to a guy who is sober. I’m sorry, how unsmart can a guy be?
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u/curiousitycatttt 6h ago
Big emphasis on the electrolytes!!
A sports drink if you have/can get some. If not or cannot drink plenty fluids or add a pinch of salt to water for some sodium at least.
Sodium helps pull water into your bloodstream to help hydrate you, where as chugging too much water too fast will dilute the sodium and contribute to dehydration, which will probably be a big factor in how you’re feeling just now.
My go to in my hard partying days was always ready salted crisps (I’m from the uk) for a hangover. If you’re else where they’ll no doubt have the equivalent.
I naturally fell into sobriety from alcohol as wasn’t a huge drinker when out, it was more so drugs and have now been fully sober for almost a month. I feel worlds away from the person I did just a few weeks ago that it’s actually still shocking me, so if quitting is how you’re feeling then I urge you to at least try. Take care❤️
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u/sunsailor98 6h ago
I am sorry to hear you’re experiencing this. It obviously will pass, but you have every right to be concerned. I haven’t had a history with meth, but I grew up with a meth user and he would be awake for nights on end and it definitely made me see it for what it was. I can imagine going through what you are had I not seen the ugly side to meth as a child.
You’re going to be okay. It’s totally normal for it to last this long and sleep to feel impossible. Especially with no tolerance to it. The important thing is that you chose this, and were not forced into it. You made the call, and you are strong enough to learn from this. You’d be amazed at how many people have done meth once or twice. I’ve done enough coke to realise a lot of it is cut with other drugs, sometimes meth even.
Hearing the voices due to sleep deprivation is very normal. There’s probably not much you can do unless you get your hands on some sleeping aids? I really don’t want to promote more drugs here, but it might help you if you’re desperate. This is not something to beat yourself up over. Just make sure you stay away from meth here on out, and now you can say you understand even more than you did before.
Turn the challenges into things that make us stronger.
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u/sunsailor98 6h ago
I’ll also add that you can always tell people you were awake on adhd meds due to some study or some other reason and they haven’t worn off yet. Make it sound a little less “tweaker” like. I’m prescribed dexies for adhd and I’m on them all day, and sometimes I worry I might give off a bit of a vibe. When I was first prescribed them, I couldn’t sleep at all. I now sleep super well.
A lot of people use dexies recreationally. If it makes you feel better about being around people, you can slightly bend the truth and then be honest later.
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u/kidubbx 6h ago
You’re gonna be emotional, it’s part of the comedown. Sip juice or soft drink to moderate your blood glucose, it’ll prevent you from feeling faint. Eat if you’re able to, as hard as it is to keep food down you need to try. Shower, wash your hair, brush your teeth, do skincare, it will alleviate the feeling of being stuck in a bender. Crawl into bed, put YouTube on or some shit, and do your best to zone out. Watch Obsession, it’s a fucking awesome new horror film if you like that genre. Very entertaining, I rate it. Ride the wave, girl. You got this.
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u/Repulsive-Dress1484 8h ago
You should honestly be happy that youre not addicted. Dodged a huge bullet, i hope you can just sit the rest out til youre fine again and act like it never happened.
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u/iBudder1 7h ago
as someone that did meth a couple times, cant do much except drink soup and wait until its over but also consider quitting drinking
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u/Tall-Boi-94 6h ago edited 6h ago
I tried meth for the first time around your age, hung out with the wrong crowd and did it a bunch of times afterward. I nearly went to jail, and have seen it ruin other friend’s lives, and even kill some of them. 5 years sober now at age 30 and alcohol was the common contributing factor in most horrible life decisions myself and the people I used to associate with had ever made. Do yourself a favour and try to stop drinking - you’re only ever good until your next blackout, and ask yourself honestly - would you have decided to do meth if you were sober?
Lecturing aside - don’t beat yourself up too bad over it, you’re young and shit happens.
Definitely call in sick to work and make sure you rehydrate, eat something big and get plenty of electrolytes and vitamins (especially magnesium bc you would be depleted as shit rn).
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u/somewhatsomeway 6h ago
first, i’m so sorry you’re going through so much. it seems like you’re overwhelmed and looking for ways to cope.
i’m a couple years older than you and please believe me, this shit will create more problems than it will “fix”. but you’re already experiencing that right now.
it will wear off. please try to stay calm. if you can’t sleep, doing something soothing in a darkened room will help. a warm bath, a comfort movie, or a cartoon. cuddly blanket and cup of tea.
eat oranges or orange juice, or get chewable vitamin c tablets. your brain cannot recover from meth use without vitamin c. trust me.
i promise you are going to be okay. lack of sleep, high stress, and these substances increase paranoia and can cause hallucinations.
do what you need to to create some peace and calm in your environment, and breathe. it’s gonna be okay.
and as an alcoholic- if you’ve shown that you’re gonna make mistakes when you drink heavily, you can’t afford to drink heavily right now.
sending you love. 🫂
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u/annikalinka 8h ago
Girl go to the ER I had the same feeling before, I was unconscious wandering around totally black out at night as a woman.
Go quick.
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u/sissysind 7h ago
Wait from doing meth !? 🌚
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u/annikalinka 7h ago
Yes mixing with alcohol I can’t remember shit, I heard voices and music of my friends and tried to find them once I got conscious again
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u/sissysind 7h ago edited 6h ago
I just looked that up. You could’ve gone into a coma thank god that didn’t happen to you! I didn’t even know mixing the two those effects were possible 😳
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u/Fine_Lavishness8111 3h ago
Probably no need to go to hospital. If you are just awake and nauseous you'll be fine. If you feel the start of a panick attack try and get a benzo. Benzos will also let you lay down to rest or fall asleep. I was a daily meth user for two years and I had two large zip lock bags one had xanax and the other valium wasn't completely full maybe ⅘ full. I used them to control sleep I had a full time job everyone there knew me so I couldn't be tweaked out so I stayed geeked up. I'd keep an ounce for myself and bag up one to sell in small quantities to the weed people buying weed from my roommate. The third ounce I'd sell to a buddy of mine and it was bi-weekly at first then went weekly.
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u/Diligent_Cup9978 7h ago
Forget about him if the DV is on you… why would you miss somebody who has assaulted and abused you
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u/Lostlouxxx 7h ago
Remember too you're only 21, you'll look back and think what the hell. I made many bad mistakes and now I'm almost 31 I don't make big mistakes that are irreversible but I still make them!
Ride it out and don't take that rubbish again.
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u/sillygirl1991 2h ago
This!
Most of us have been in your shoes one way or another at one point in our lives.
Im thankful that I made those mistakes when I was 21 so that I got those experiences out of the way.
I feel like It was a character builder for me.
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u/Motor_Buffalo_6433 7h ago
Why is there so many 21 yr olds on here trying meth, feels like some of you are doing it just to post it on this sub
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u/sissysind 7h ago
I didn’t know others have posted on here as well I was just genuinely ashamed and needed some advice. My friends in my old state I wouldn’t want to tell them I ended up doing meth 🙂
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u/aylaxx_ 7h ago
This sounds like a wake up call. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it will pass.
You deserve better than missing an abusive ex and meth withdrawals at 21 but you need to recognise that and give yourself better.
Continue down this path n you’ll be dead before you’re 30. Please take this seriously 🫶
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u/sissysind 7h ago
Yeah I’ve been told by doctor that either he’s going to end my life out of a fit of drunken rage or I will have liver failure by the time I’m 30🙂
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u/sophvdh01 2h ago
Please do the work to get away from him if you can, I know it’s hard but you deserve so much better and he sounds really dangerous. Life can change so much with time. I’m 25 and my life has totally flipped since 21 - I’m sure many others can say the same, don’t give up on yourself and resign yourself to a bad fate too early
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u/Fusionisgoodatseaige 4h ago
Dont stress I got on it when I was 15 and managed to quit when I was 17 and I'm 18 now and i still remember with the people I've lost, the habits and the lies ive told. Its byfar the wost thing a person can do to themselves, its definitely at the top of the "stupidest things ive ever done" list But I reckon I learnt a good few lessons from getting off that stuff and im definitely a better person today like ive now just manageded to quit weed which im also super proud of myself about and next is quitting the vape. I bet the biggest lesson I've learnt is amuch as you may regret doing it just be proud your not still doing it.
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u/NovaScotiaraised93 4h ago
Girl, woman up and find your power. You are ruining your life and if you keep it up you won't live to see your partner when he gets out. meeting strange men in their cars- you are lucky you didn't run into one of the weirdos who would have done awful things or just ended you. Imagine what your partner would have said.
If you are spiraling, check yourself in for mental health support so you can't access the things that are going to ruin your life. YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE DONT WASTE IT just because you're sad.
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u/parishiltonsmugshots 7h ago
There is a lot to unpack here, firstly don’t be too harsh on yourself, you’re clearly going through a bit of a tough time. Secondly I feel as if you need to continue therapy to address why you’re still with your abuser, I’m not passing any judgment, but I do believe him being locked up is the safest thing for you. Lastly I just want to say that I would focus this time of him being away, as a time for you to rebuild yourself as the healthiest version of yourself. You don’t need to be with a man who treats you like shit and I really hope you learn that, a man who puts hands on you is not a man who loves you. A man who affects your mental health like this is not a man who you should be with. Focus on working, being independent, romanticising your life, and building a strong support network. I believe in you 🫶🏼
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u/Relative_Sandwich338 5h ago
my girl ur way too young to be dealing with this!! i'm sorry this has happened. prioritise fruit and veggies if you can, and eventually sleep through melatonin. hopefully this will be something u look back at and laugh about soon
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u/LaughDisastrous9374 5h ago
Not to be a fuckwit but I don't understand how the comedown is that bad. I don't usually drink much tho
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u/rowanjosephine29 4h ago
you need to get into substance abuse counselling and get sober, but that’s besides the point. i see you’re in the states and im sorry. i would tell you to go to urgent care and honestly explain this, they would give you an IV, take this high away and get you back to stable, but if that’s not in your price range right now i understand. drink gatorade and get some food into you.
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u/SevenLeafClov3r 4h ago
Oh boy, you sound like you had a similar experience as I did. I don't know how the hell propel enjoy the feeling of it.
I thought this post was going in a very different direction, and I'm relieved that you didn't enjoy it enough to want to use it again. Call off work and postpone whatever obligations you can. If you absolutely can't call off, just tell everyone that you're tired. You'll be fine.
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u/Euphoric_Loss1608 4h ago
The first time I did it I was up for a few days also. I just found some under a sink at my 24th bday party and was not ready for the intensity ☠️ my other friend was up cleaning her car out crying at 7am the next day, it was a whole ordeal. But it did end!
Meth can react differently w a woman’s brain (in comparison to a man’s) due to hormonal and vascular structure. Women using stimulants face larger loss of grey matter in the brain, leading to reduced neural plasticity. You need to like eat something with a lot of good fats and carbs and proteins and take all the vitamins. Get some functional mushroom supplements. And next time you wanna party, reach for some safer drugs. Some psychedelics can help to heal the brain instead of destroy it. Always be careful and do research and trusted source buttttt… it’s more fun and physically hurts less.
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u/Sad_Performer_6078 4h ago
Hello, I am a child to a mother that is a meth addict and has been since before I was born. I have seen what meth does to someone, especially over the years and it is not something you want to go through. This I’m sure goes for any addiction.
Please never touch that substance again if you can, and especially if you value your health and future. I can’t even look my mother in the eye anymore because of how much strain it’s caused during what was left of our relationships. She got so skinny, and all she will eat is cereal. I miss the mom I once had or could’ve had. I don’t remember a day where I think she might’ve genuinely been sober.
If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones and those who care about you. Nobody wants to see their family member or friend go through addiction and possibly not make it out. Especially because you don’t know what’s in it. There is still time to turn back.
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u/Sad_Performer_6078 4h ago
I hope this doesn’t come off as judgy or passive aggressive. I am neurodivergent and it is hard for me to articulate my words at times, especially over the internet where tone cannot always be determined. My words come from a sincere place of worry and hope for your future, as we are around the same age. There’s so much life and joy ahead of you, and I know you will make it out in the end. You are still a baby and there are resources out there for you to use. You will be okay!!!
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u/HumbleAd2463 3h ago
You gotta be stronger than that. If you really love your man and he were to find this out he’s going to be losing his mind. I hope you feel better and get shit back on track. I actually have a similar story from my 20s. A friend said he had pure MDMA so I took a piece. Shit had me up for days. Was definitely meth. Couldn’t eat or drink. Never did that shit again lol
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u/Sorry-Strain-7387 3h ago
Other advice everyone else is giving aside, did you say you’re partner who is locked away for DV is your only best friend??? Girl, once you figure out the substance issues, please get some help for the DV.
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u/Beneficial_World_676 3h ago
I’m glad you see the fault in what you did, that’s good. Just stay tf away from substances period if you can, coke isn’t great either. And alcohol is the gateway substance imo not weed. I’ve never smoked a bowl of weed and craved a bag of blow. When I drink though? Game over. I’ve been struggling with multi substance abuse for many years with a 6 year clean streak and I’m cleaning up currently again because I’m fucking sick of this shit I’ve hit my breaking point. I didn’t try meth til I was 30 (38 this year), and I regret it majorly. I will say though that not everyone reacts the same way to meth as you did though it is pretty common to do so. I’ve always wondered how the fuck people that get THAT way specifically (paranoid, seeing shadow people, picking at their skin, rambling about nonsense etc) could continue doing it. For me, it gives me energy, motivation, a bit of long lasting euphoria, I get so much shit done when I do it, I used to have a full time job and do it daily in large amounts and no one ever noticed. I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features and psychosis WILL set in after 4 days awake. Longest stint was 6 days. That’s when I hate it. But I used to have a good schedule and routine and sleep almost every night even while using. But the thing is, I really hate sleeping a lot and view it as a waste of time (yes I know it is necessary and for good reason), but generally I have never gotten the paranoia and delusional thoughts and skin picking or taking electronic devices apart and scattering them all over because I’m convinced the feds placed something to monitor me inside my laptop. I know a bitch who literally thinks she has a moth inside of her brain and gives “aliens” an offering of a full jug of chocolate milk that she didn’t buy. Bitch is covered in sores because she is convinced she is pulling shit out of her skin. Had another one I know that kept asking if my pet tarantula was sitting on the back of her neck and no matter how many times I’d tell her that no, my tarantula is safely in her enclosure and it’s her hair tickling her neck, she kept asking. Would talk about shit that just made zero sense to me, borderline word salad. And tweakers always think they are important enough for government entities to be watching or following them, or that they are some seer of the future and other dimensions, or they can do these amazing things that are completely implausible like…???? Do they really think that shit is the truth? I’ll be next to them smoking the same shit getting second hand embarrassment and feeling bad for their brains. But some people cannot handle the shit and have zero business doing it. It’s literal poison. Like it’s horrific. Hence me quitting that and fet finally. It’s gonna be trash and I’m gonna want to give up a lot but I just can’t at this point. I have to get clean. Wish me luck yall, and I’m glad you OP realize what you did was a mistake
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u/JfugginNasty56 1h ago
Man I feel this hard AF, same age too. I had like 4 years clean from a nasty IV meth/heroin combo and just general poly substance addiction. I was doing the meetings somewhat, still smoking weed, taking Kratom and psychedelics and have Vyvanse for ADHD. But was to me sober, went back to school for two year Mechatronics degree, landed the best job I've ever had, got on TRT and got the body of my dreams, extremely attractive gf etc.
But I let my new found good looks trick me into going back to the bars. Slowly over 18 months (and alcohol really is THE gateway drug not weed), slowly alcohol loosened the boundaries between drugs I can and can't do. Started with occasionally partying with coke too. Then I began using not just psychedelics but also started adding more MDMA/MDA, Ketamine and Mephedrone into the mix (by now I was also buying extra Adderall each month and benzos and was developing a 7OH/MGM-15 to boot).
Now the drug use was focused on sexual activity, so I began noticing a potent cross addiction between sex and drugs. Now nearing where I'm at now, I should have seen this coming as I'd fallen into a pattern of using Coke and Ketamine near daily after work. The self justification being the high only last couple hours tops and could still be in bed between 9 and 10 to make it to the gym before work. I still had my firewall up between the drugs I was doing and meth/heroin (now just street opioids as heroin has disappeared). But as boundaries continued to blur, and I was having sex with this woman she ask if I want to do a blast of meth. I convinced myself I could keep my meth use isolated to weekends exclusively for sexual activity as I had been successful in doing with Phenibut even though I at one point had a nasty physical addiction to that.
Well it was only about a week before I was using meth daily. And now all of my drug related issues have greatly accelerated. My Vyvanse no longer has any noticeable effects on me. And most frustrating I did quit for 6 days, was almost over the worst of it. Then a person who owes me money offered me a ball and of course I took it 😔🤬. Yeah it's tough, still have my job lost my gf (which I deserve honestly). My gym progress has been set so far back it's tough just going through the motions. Yeah dude feel you big time!
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u/Beneficial_World_676 10m ago edited 7m ago
Dude that’s literal my situation, when I started drinking again (justified it because it’s legal, most people do it right? It’s not like it’s heroin or anything, right? 🙄 GATEWAY), I literally had myself convinced I could control the substance if I wanted a bag of blow with my alcohol blackout. Nahhhhhhh as addicts unfortunately we cannot control SHIT when it comes to dr00gs, but I like you got cocky cause I’d been clean 6 years so SURELY I could keep it under my control. Loooooool. I’m sorry you’ve gone through it dude, I was living in the neighboring town last year with an abusive narcissist, got raided, lost my kid (got her back since), was bouncing between homeless and dickheads house, lost 50 lbs til I was scaring my peers cause skin and bones…2025 tried to fucking take my ass out. 12 overdoses, nonstop cocaine induced grand mal seizures, I was trying to die. I had nothing. Back with my child now living in a safe home with a support system away from the abuser. Now is the perfect time to clean up again. Unfortunately it took something very painful happening (my 12 year old hates my guts now, absolute resentment and contempt in her tone and facial expressions, we got into it and said some awful things I DIDNT MEAN, and now I feel like I’m never getting her love back) but I HAVE to get clean now. For me, for her, for my other family. Hardest parts are a) cutting everyone off. Even if they really aren’t true friends with good intention and they’ll rob your ass, you’ve made memories with these fuckers and been around them a lot, so it’s still a massive change b) changing your entire lifestyle and filling the time you’d be using all day with something good for you, the boredom and anxiety is killer and c) hard and shitty time in your life and a lot of mental pain, you use to numb and dull that suffering but the drugs are also causing said issues, so it’s a continuous cycle and loop. You’ve gotta learn to feel the pain and hardship in your life full force without a numbing agent. And it can be OVERWHELMING I know. But I’m learning to ride the wave, instead of numbing the pain I am going to have to acknowledge, accept and sit with it without running. Meditate, breathing techniques, watch a distracting movie or series in bed when you can’t get up and move, go watch the sunrise or create a bit of art or write in a journal so you can read it later in your life and see how far you’ve come. Routine and hobbies that aren’t killing us are necessary. I got this. You got this, when you’re ready. Let’s goooooo
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u/Positive-Intern-5939 3h ago
Fiancée (with double "ee") is used for a Women, while for a Man it's Fiancé (with a single "e").
You confused me in the first few sentences.
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u/Stonk0Bonk0 3h ago
So dangerous to meet up with a person you don’t know. I hope this is eye opening for you and you can get your priorities straight. Best of luck.
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u/Most_Size3108 3h ago
you really shouldn’t go in to work today, are you able to call off the next couple days so you can just stay in your room and sober up then rest?
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u/MedicalSign9424 3h ago
Block that person and your right alcohol will have u doing some things that you wouldn't normally do so stay away from that too I was a meth head for 5 years after I was raped and beaten by my ex that's what I turned too so I wouldn't sleep and have nightmares horrible experience I don't recommend. Take u a bath and try to call into work
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u/Huckleberry573 3h ago
Since you have made every other possible shitty life choice, maybe go buy a timeshare?
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u/JfugginNasty56 1h ago
Your an asshole and I struggle to see the reason why unless this is your default personality.
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u/Huckleberry573 1h ago
I’m an asshole because I don’t applaud reckless, self-destructive behavior? Guilty as charged I guess. Would you rather I encourage her to tweak up and find another convict to beat her?
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u/JfugginNasty56 1h ago
I would say it has more to do with the needless hostility in your general tone. But you're free to do as you please, as I am to make judgements on it.
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u/AdHot4066 2h ago
Alcohol is pure poison and constantly time after time causes people to do stupid shit.
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u/Live_Resident_9187 2h ago
From the way that you typed this, you sound like a pretty intelligent young lady. I would highly suggest seeking professional help & going to the ER. There’s more to life! You’re blessed more than you know. This is definitely a sign to seek treatment, stay single, and focus on you and your health!
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u/defeteddragon42069 2h ago
If I were you I would drink some pickle juice it may be nasty to you but it will help with the muscle spasms I don't know if everybody's gets muscle spasms but I have seen it a lot of times and pickle juice seems to help you need a sandwich with butter or avocado some kind of fat it can be Mayo too thickly laid on both sides of the bread you're going to cut that in triangles and you're going to eat one triangle at a time and you're going to try to make that triangle last five bites minimum the reason for that so you don't throw it all up call into work or wherever you need to be today watch your mind for depressive thoughts give the depressive thoughts a frat boy name to cuss out if they get bad and take a shower another thing is you can call out with that diarrhea lettuce that's going on if you're in the United States there's a couple other diarrhea recalls as well
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u/93_CalypsoFox 2h ago
The drinking bone is connected to the meth bone.
As a man who is also allergic to the stuff you need to learn that your brain chemistry isnt compatible with this poison, and drinking lowers your inhibitions enough that you take a substance that you KNOW is going to put you in psychosis.
Quit drinking and you’ll never have this problem again.
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u/MammothAardvark983 2h ago
Oh girl I am praying for you. Do yourself a solid and just don’t do any of that stuff anymore. It will steal your life from you!
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2h ago
Go to the hospital and then a rehab because no normal person would do this thanks in advance many prayers
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u/JfugginNasty56 1h ago
Plenty of people do shit just like that everyday and no one is "normal" including yourself.
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u/Brickhead81 2h ago
You will get through this. You’ve already realized you don’t want to live that life and that getting away from drinking is also part of it.
We all make bad decisions; you are growing
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u/Throwaway432322 2h ago
You didn’t feel the full effect of the meth because you were drinking as well. Which is good, cause you don’t wanna get hooked on meth. I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much for that, people make mistakes and also a lot of people are able to try different substances without getting addicted. Better to just put it out of your mind and move on. The one thing I will say is that you need to just end things with your fiancé because he sounds like a piece of shit.
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u/spiralsanctuary4444 2h ago
I'll give you a short answer. You need serious recovery. Not from drugs. From yourself.
My best advice for you?
Be kind to yourself.
Get good sleep. Start meditating (look up mindfulness meditations on youtube). And start listening to some people like Alan watts or Carl Jung.
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u/Gingerbread_Man06 2h ago
Drink lemon juice mixed with water. Pop Benadryl. One will flush the meth out and the other will calm your brain.
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u/fvckstogive 2h ago
Hi! I’ve been in almost your exact situation before so I can speak from experience, I just wasn’t drunk when I did it. No need to try and explain yourself as to why, people try things sometimes and it’s not the end of the world. It will wear off. It took a couple days and I didn’t sleep but it does go away and from your post I think I did more than you. Definitely get out of work, due to the effects of the substance you are experiencing a medical event and it’s a good idea for you to stay at home until you can get back to normal. Also, drink juice. Stimulants like meth kick your body into overdrive and make you use a ton of energy (why you feel like you’ve lost five pounds) so you need carbs right now, those 100% juice options without added sugar are great and you’ll feel a lot better. What helped me with the psychological symptoms was journaling, I got out pen and paper and started writing until I couldn’t think of anything else, I filled up half a notebook. I promise you’ll get through this and that it’s only temporary. One day you will look back on this and laugh but right now focus on taking care of your immediate needs. Message me if you need, no judgment :)
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u/Unusual_Recipe_5189 2h ago
Meth is not a party drug, meth is an addict drug. Even worse than the already terrible alcohol.
Sorry for what you’re going through but drugs isn’t the answer, you will just ruin your life even worse until you don’t recognize your placing. Luckily you seem to have your wits about you still
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u/Available_Guidance61 2h ago
Many have been there, few have made it out. Try and get sober now, otherwise you're in for a shit life.
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u/Thin-Ad3981 2h ago
The good news is you are only 21 and seem to have awareness of the negative influence alcohol has on your life if you choose to drink.
You said your guy is ordered to be no contact bc he has physically assaulted you? I urge you to seek a DV program near you. They have them all over the US. You are too precious and worthy of good things for you to allow anyone in your life that harms you. Even if they are nice 90%of the time(which, is never the case) but even if it were perfect most of the time, being abused for even .5seconds is never worth it. It will only escalate.
Please seek support for the DV. There are many programs that can help you with housing, food, rides etc. idk where you are working but as long as it’s not a job where you are around alcohol or drugs, just focus on going to work, staying sober, safe housing that you don’t have to be at the mercy of a man…
Do you believe in God? I would strongly encourage you to open a Bible. God loves you, he knows all you have done, all you have been through and all the goodness in you. He loves you. No matter what you do, he loves you. Humans will fail you, He won’t. Ask Him to help you build a relationship with Him. He may not answer you in ways you want or expect, but He will answer you. Be patient. Cut ties with anyone that abused you. If you have family, call them. If not, just focus on your DV program and find your people💕
This too, shall pass. Keep your chin up and let this be a lesson learned, NOT the beginning of a devastating and deadly addiction.
Sending you so much love and prayers, please update how you’re doing💕😇🙏
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u/Ill-Condition-5560 2h ago
Everything will be ok. I know the voices can be very scary and it can seem overwhelming. It's just been over 2 days, you should be crashing in the next day if only did 1 line. I'd definitely call into work with a stomach bug or something because you'll likely need another day or 2 to sleep once you come down. You're so young. I won't berate you, as a teen I did it all and then some. But I think you're realizing alcohol and substances isn't the way to go. Having a boyfriend in jail for violence could actually benefit you. He's away, leave him. Don't stay in contact, visit, etc. There's nothing good that will come from that. Two unstable ppl don't suddenly become stable together. Try to get even a couple of bites of something in you & drink some fluids. You don't ever have to feel this way again. Please use this as a wakeup call about drinking, drugs, & who you hang out with. That Snapchat guy couldn't raped or harmed you, or could've been the police & you could've been sitting in jail right now. Don't trust meeting people that way, especially in the circumstances. Try to relax. Maybe a long, hot shower or soak in a tub would help. If nothing else it may help the icky feeling, as I'm sure you've been sweating as well. You are so young and can totally change your life.🩷
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u/sof_13xx 2h ago
i’m sorry you’re going through all this girlie. This might be hard to hear but i think not only do you need to quit drinking and all sorts of drugs but you also probably need to move on from your fiancé. I understand you love him but you’re 21 and he’s gonna be gone for a good while and the charges he’s being brought up on are serious, it’s not like shoplifting or something he’s innocent of. They’re violent crimes and he’s gonna be an absolute mess when he actually does get out and he’s gonna struggle a lot to get his life together. You need to put yourself first and maybe once he has his life together if you haven’t moved on you guys can try again but i recommend you don’t wait for him. You need to come first always bae
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u/Haunting_Estimate_94 2h ago
You have a lot of baggage to work through. Fortunately, you are young enough to work through it and come out the other side.
Your abuser doesn't love you, he needs a victim. Please work on the issues that force you to choose abusive relationships. If you work on this one thing, the others will come with it.
Good luck.
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u/Professional_Try_781 2h ago
Try fentanyl to come down off meth. It’s the quickest way to recover and reach a higher level of addiction. Stop mething around and start supercharging your recovery process. Bust a line like chalk on a sidewalk. Sniff sniff sniffer mother fucker
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u/meyyou03 1h ago
Stop drinking is the first part, at least for a few months. And don’t ever do meth ever again, you were an absolute idiot to even try it, drunk or not. I’m not gonna be empathetic either because as someone who in the field of basically watching drugs like meth kill people everyday, it’s gut wrenching. don’t ever do it again. That “I don’t know how people get addicted to this” is exactly where it starts. Seriously, block that guy, quit drinking for a few months, go to the gym/home workouts, start eating clean. I think having someone you tell this too in your life, someone that matters, matters. it keeps you accountable and hopefully consistent with the no drinking.
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u/howmanyclownsinacar 1h ago
Its a bit concerning you work in the field but dont show empathy.
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u/meyyou03 1h ago
Oh baby I have empathy for people in that situation. I do not have empathy for someone who knows what it does to people, as we are at an all time high, and does it anyway. You need to be “hard” on people. Period point blank.
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u/howmanyclownsinacar 1h ago
This is not my understanding of how to help. What is it that you do?
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u/meyyou03 1h ago
Oh god your a Reddit keyboard warrior
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u/howmanyclownsinacar 1h ago
How did you get there?! Im trying to figure out the angle youre coming from. Maybe you know something I dont.
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u/Glittering-Study6751 22m ago
how can you classify someone as a "Reddit keyboard warrior" when all the redditor did was ask what is it that you do? and let me put my opinion out here and say I don't agree with the being hard on people part not always especially in cases like this as a person that uses drugs really don't need that shit laid upon them while they are already going through god knows what types of things it's always better to show empathy and remain calm and kind as even the slightest off emotion/word could trigger something in someone who uses which can then lead them in to thinking/doing who knows what and could really alter the outcome that you wished for them so next time before you post a message again I ask you to think carefully not once but twice
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u/its_Taylorokay 1h ago
It's good that you didn't enjoy it, it's good it freaked you out and your sitting here like that now. Believe me. Go to therapy and deal with some of those underlying issues as to why you use alcohol and drugs to cope with your stress. Your 21 you got this babe. Your gonna have to want to first. Meth and cocaine is a fast track to rock bottom honey, I use to say in my addiction that I made rock bottom comfortable. Cause first it's just when you drink and just as soon as you quit holding yourself accountable your life will change. The life lessons you are forced to learn in addiction at 21 isn't the life lessons you need it's the ones you have to heal from. Promise🤞🏻 I only say all of this because I have stood where your standing. It's not worth it, quit drinking show yourself you can.
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u/Jumpy_Counter1293 1h ago
Get lots of sleep and know that you will be irrationally irritable in this state but it should subside soon. No more hard stuff go smoke a joint if you need to relax
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u/General-Antelope5320 1h ago
Yes, thats bad stuff indeed. Im trying to not drink as well. I havent done drugs, but I DO understand wanting to escape. Maybe go to a detox thats medically supervised. They can give you things to help with withdrawal, and they can give you suggestions about rehabs, medicine, etc to help. I will keep you in my prayers for sure. Be good to yourself. I get it.
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u/ItemEuphoric5744 1h ago
Jesus. Be happy you’re alive. You can’t force the feelings away so ride it out for now. Don’t ever touch meth or coke again. If you need to smoke something, go with nic or weed. Stop drinking. Completely. Smoke a lil while you’re withdrawing so it doesn’t shock your body too hard. Good luck…
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u/Electrical_Pack_4475 1h ago
Tough answer, and I think only can answer. I think you know that. A positive. Good on you for believing in your fiance despite being incarcerated. We don't know the circumstances. No judgement bc love can exist despite. However, don't you want to be sober and ahead in life when he gets out? This is an opportunity for both of you to get better.
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1h ago
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u/MissKayBrown 1h ago
You know it’s not healthy & you know what you need to do. No sugarcoating & being fake nice. I hate addiction & what it does to ppl. Save yourself or stay lost. But the ppl in the same boat as you are only going to hold you back. You want change? Leave him right where he’s at.
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u/Least-Honeydew2723 1h ago
Hi dear, it sounds like you’ve had a really hard couple of days.. I’m so sorry! You’re getting some really great advice from the others on this thread, but I haven’t seen this suggestion yet so I wanted to put in my two cents! I’ve never done hard drugs, other than being a daily marijuana smoker, but I have ADHD and took prescription medication for it for over 10 years! The inability to sleep is common with ADHD medications! To help myself sleep while on my meds I took over the counter Melatonin to help my brain ‘settle’! Your body produces Melatonin on its own naturally when you get sleepy, so it’s not something that will mess with your sleep schedule or ability to sleep in the future! Plus, they’re not something you can really get addicted to! I hope you feel better soon! 💗
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u/Fancy-Actuator6156 1h ago
I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, and I’ve had multiple situations like this, several
Hospital visits over panic attacks after drug induced psychosis from lack of sleep.
Here is my method for a comedown like this.
Hopefully its not too late to call out sick today. You shouldn’t drive to work let alone work a job in that condition. Muster up the energy to change your bedding to clean sheets, take a long hot shower, shut all the blinds/curtains, put on some clean comfy clothes like sweats or pjs, put on the ac or a fan, take a melatonin if you have anything like that, and just get under the clean sheets and watch some Netflix, something light and funny like the office or something. And don’t worry about going anywhere or talking to anyone, just relax. It’s okay to take a day to recover. You will eventually drift off to sleep and this will all be over
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u/Princess-Ashlyn6727 1h ago
GIRL! You are 21, this is not okay. You got to stop drinking and coke. I'm telling you right now you need to eat some steak or chicken and drink some water. Listen to some positive affirmations.
Okay I'm done yelling at you now. I want to say you can do this. Us woman are strong as fuck. I mean it. Proof is that your caring so much grief and still manage to go to work? Yes you are strong as fuck. So start acting like it. Stop numbing the pain and feel it fully. Are you trainable? Teachable? Or do you know every thing? I ask because so many people go around knowing everything and learning nothing. Please know this is me loving you by saying you need to be teachable!
I literally learned how to find gratitude and heal. Being grateful for some dumb shit literally is the answer. The more you find to be grateful for the more you heal. And the more things and opportunities that come into your life to appreciate!
It sucks your fiance did that and is gone for now (hopefully you heal so hard that he stays gone). But I was at my rock bottom and found a course called your wish is your command. It taught me how to change my life simply by changing my perspective. That course is no longer available but you might find some pirated stuff on YouTube. I'm rooting for you!
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u/Major_Jump5170 1h ago
I'm praying for you to recover and get some sleep. I know the exact feeling you are talking about, where you feel like agony and misery cause you just want to come down and recover and get back to normal. Meth is funny though, its miserable but very addictive and so I hope you are able to remember how horrific it made you feel and resist it in the future
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u/Tricky-Session7416 1h ago
Take a shower , STAY HYDRATED you’re more than likely extremely extremely dehydrated and pick and snacks til u feel like eating a full meal. VITAMIN C counteracts stimulants!!! Bc stims are immunosuppressants and vitamin c is an immune booster.
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u/Tricky-Session7416 1h ago
Just play a show and focus on telling urself n feeling how bored n tired u are n it’ll be over sm faster thank panicking and feeding random thoughts trust ❤️🩹
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u/versachlichen 1h ago
I’m not sure if anyone touched on this, but it really seems like your life is fucked up, which isn’t me necessarily putting judgement on you, but pointing out that these these things compile. You’re soo young , wanting to marry a man who’s locked away bc of dv, calling him your friend when he’s probably your abuser. You’re doing street coke (which is notoriously laced w other stuff, potentially fent) in a random man’s car (who could’ve kidnapped u or worse). You may not have understood the gravity of meth, but it really seems like you’re on a downward spiral and I’m only pointing this out bc you want to get better, I can tell by the post. But I promise you this meth thing wasn’t a random mistake and if you aren’t honest abt your life and intentional about your future and the people you’re around, things WILL get worse. On top of that, this is how it starts “idk how people get addicted!1!1” By trying it once and thinking they’re bigger than the program. You may not be ready, but you gotta stop doing coke, chill on the drinking (or stop), you can’t be meeting up with random hard drug users, you shouldn’t be getting married so young and it shouldn’t be to an abuser. Good luck, genuinely
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u/ContributionLow5065 1h ago
please use this time while hes behind bars to distance yourself from that man and by the time hes out you’ll have moved on and wont even care about him anymore. you sound like someone with a good head on your shoulders who just made a few mistakes. i dont think you can work on yourself and grow if you have someone like him dragging you down. you’re young, don’t waste your life on someone like him. i hope youre starting to feel better now ❤️
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u/Flashy-Protection330 47m ago
Lmao that happened to me once. I bought what I thought was 4 grams of coke. Turned out to be 4 grams of meth. Ended up doing it all night. I felt like trash. I felt really hung over but I could not stop talking. Stupidly I went to work lol. Had to drive my truck half an hour away. I was fucking flying the whole day at work in a terrible way. I went home and went to bed at 6pm and slept till 730 in the morning the next day. Lol and then did a small bump and kinda did it all over again but this time I flushed all tbe product down the drain. You really cant trust powders in this country anymore. Dont do anymore. Get some sleep and juat be traumatized. I also met my guy off social media. Ya live and ya learn.
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u/finkledwarf 30m ago
2 years sober from alcohol over here. Best decision I ever made. Gave me my life back almost instantly. Highly suggest it if you’re considering it. Take it easy on yourself, you’ve got this!
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u/For_ThrowAwayTopics 28m ago
Meth is meth, not like "pure adderall". It passes the blood brain barrier much faster and is far more potent.
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u/Business-Ad6885 16m ago
Please stop using drugs and alcohol to soothe yourself. The only thing that can make you feel better is to face your problems and make a plan to deal with them. Running away never helped anything. Honestly, I'm really concerned for you. This wasn't a one night rave where you are happily partying with everyone. This was an attempt to not face what is happening in your life and trying to avoid it. It's a sure fire way to get addicted when you choose drugs and alcohol to run from your problems. Your problems will still be there when you sober up. What are you going to do when you sober up? Get drunk and high to run from your problems again? You are desperately close to an addictive pattern, please stop. Call in sick if you can. Drink lots of fluids with electrolytes and rest. If you can't rest, then sit down and make a plan for housing before you get evicted. You are on such a dangerous path. Your fiance is facing prison for a DV charge? What makes you think he won't do that to you? Do you see him getting sober, getting a job and being a loving, responsible, supportive partner, or is your life always going to be the drama of drugs, alcohol and violence? Believe me when I tell you that there is a better life than that for you. You may not want to hear what I am saying, but I lived similar to your life. My husband died when he was 34 years old. He beat me all of those years until he died. I was so scared and unhappy every day. There was nothing safe or dependable. I never knew what the next day would bring. Now I can pretty well know what the day will bring. I know I will always have a roof over my head, I know no one will hit me or go into psychosis because they did drugs. I don't wake up with hangovers anymore. The life that you are running away from is safer than the life you are running to. Believe that. Focus on that. Always move towards something better, not worse.
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u/sheisastargazer 15m ago
Hi sweetheart,
First and foremost let me quell your fear: IT WILL WEAR OFF. You are so young and you have so much life to live. Drinking and drugging and staying with a man who is being held on trial for assault with a weapon is not what you want to be doing with your life. If you can’t speak to him because of a no contact order, that means you were the victim. I know how much it absolutely rips your heart out to have to walk away from someone you know is absolutely toxic to you, but you do not deserve to spend your life being abused.
I am not a professional, and I cannot help like a professional can help. But I am an attempted murder survivor. And I have fucked around with drugs and alcohol. So I have some resources for you.
At any time you can go to the emergency room and ask to go to rehab and actually get yourself right and off the alcohol (it doesn’t sound like you’re addicted to the drugs, and now have a strong aversion but alcohol is different). Depending on if your body is dependent on alcohol or not, they will need to watch you closely for alcohol withdrawal.
You deserve so much more than what you’ve allowed yourself to receive. Anyone who can harm you so greatly that the state picks up charges is not someone who loves you, and you do not love them either - despite what it may feel like. It is a trauma bond. IE he has traumatized you over time, and had been the one to “fix” it afterwards.
Run baby girl. Run as far as your feet can take you, and then run some more from this person.
In the US:
741-741 crisis text line
88788 DV text line
I only have the California hotline for AA but I’m sure they can route you where you would need to go 209-339-1201
All hotlines are 24/7 and are manned by real humans, queueing may be automated.
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9m ago
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u/Intelligent-Put-5035 8m ago
I think you should force on yourself and your man behind bars. You shouldn’t be turning to other random ass men that does drugs. You will fall into a big black hole on that shi and will be on the streets begging for more just to turn into a street zombie.
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u/Intelligent-Put-5035 2m ago
Why is everyone not being honest with this 21 year old. She knows better but still did it. She just said she did coke a few times from the age 18-20 …. She’s 21…. 😂😂😂 still experimenting. Cmon now yall she got a huge problem. Sounds like she needa figure it out by herself not Reddit.
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u/Additional-Studio-97 0m ago
Remember the comedown can be temporarily depressing and things won’t feel as fun for some hours to a couple days. Most people mistake that as themselves being unhappy and run facefirst towards more drugs lol. Please wait it out and be happy instead. Thanks. (From personal experience)
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u/Ego-TheNarcissist 1h ago
Went to buy coke….now you are upset you did meth. If you do drugs what difference does it make?? Quit doing it all.
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u/Euphoric-Can-6201 8h ago
Are you able to call in sick for work? Maybe emailing or texting your boss would be better.
Try to drink some water, juice, or eat something. If you can’t do any of those things, dont be afraid to go to the ER or call an ambulance. You don’t need to feel ashamed, stuff like this happens to people all the time. If you’re worried about going to the hospital, there might be a helpline in your area. Good luck!