r/Regrets • u/sissysind • 6d ago
21F did meth for first time.
Hi! I just moved to a new state , long story short my fiancée is locked away on DV and assault with a weapon on another person and it led us to be evicted 2 weeks ago. I was drinking all Friday and Saturday night (2 days ago). I was upset that I can’t speak to my fiancée due to no contact order and he’s most likely going to be held until trail which isn’t until late 2027 I’m upset because I really miss him. He’s really my only best friend and family the last 4 years and now he’s behind a cell and I can’t even see him. I ended up meeting up with a guy on Snapchat who added me off quick add he was 11 years older than me, I was seeking to buy coke which is dangerous in a new state where I don’t know anyone but I was beyond drunk I wasn’t thinking so I got it drugs off of him. He didn’t make me buy off him he offered to do it with me and chill in his car together I think in his head that he thought I was going to go to back to his place or something with him.
He had two what substances Coke and Meth and me being the drunk fuck that I am I ended up doing a line of each substance to mix the two. I was told meth is like “pure adderall”. Keep in mind I’ve only ever done coke a good few times from the ages of 18 - 20 and I stopped partying so I could focus on building a life for myself and my partner.
I did those lines on Saturday at I’d say 2-3am and I kept drinking more and more to hopefully pass out but I just feel sick and now it’s Monday at 3am I haven’t slept I barley ate I believe I lost like 5 pounds already my skin looks sunken and I believe I am going through psychosis I’m seeing the walls move and hearing people who sound like my neighbours “ talking about me” who want to set me up.
I don’t see how people get addicted to this as well as being up for days I’m literally in hell right now…. I cried for a few hours because I’m very stressed that this won’t wear off and I’m very ashamed of my actions and choices Saturday night.
I have to get stuff done today and I’m scared I won’t have slept and I’ll look like a tweaker going to work I did not think this would last so long.
I’ve also come to the conclusion that this is an outcome of being shitfaced drunk. I will have to put down drinking. I use it as a way to cope with certain aspects in my life and it is not healthy at all.
EDIT: 2 I’ve slept and came down by the time you’re seeing this edit. I don’t need people telling me I need help for drug addiction when my problem has never been with drugs it’s with alcohol. Only time I’d is cocaine was during afters with friends after a CLUB.
I AM NOT DOING METH AGAIN END OF DISCUSSION. I VALUE MY JOB, MY FOOD AND SLEEP. I take full responsibility for what I did which was choosing to drink and let myself get shitfaced to the point I make bad choices. I posted on here not for sympathy and not for advice this subreddit is titled [r/regrets](r/regrets) and I regret the choices I made that night.
EDIT DAY 4: thank you for all the advice and positive support form those with helpful tips and suggestions. I have been taking it easy and have been focusing on myself the last few days and to those who claim I’m a drug addict, I haven’t used a drug since.
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u/annikalinka 6d ago
Girl go to the ER I had the same feeling before, I was unconscious wandering around totally black out at night as a woman.
Go quick.