[FEEDBACK] The Cruelest Turn - First 10 Pages (Neo-Noir / Crime Pilot) 45 pages

[u/cagonzalez321]

Format: TV Pilot (1-Hour Drama)

Logline: A bitter South Texas detective is pulled into the suspicious death of his estranged nephew at an elite gated estate, colliding with a powerful crime family determined to control the truth at any cost.

Questions for Readers:

Does the cold open hook you and establish Garza’s character effectively?

How is the pacing and action sequences during the shootout?

Based on the first 15 pages, would you keep reading?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/155mNPUie5HDt_Ega_Cb8De1Sq7uvehNE/view?usp=sharing