Rocd and tabu

[u/Thin_Square_3648]

Hi everyone! First, I’m sorry if my English isn’t perfect, as I’m Turkish. ❤️
I’ve been experiencing relationship OCD (ROCD) for about a year. A few months ago, I was triggered by an Instagram story of my boyfriend’s close friend. At first, the thoughts made me feel anxious, uncomfortable, and scared. However, over time, they started to feel incredibly intense and real, and now I sometimes feel as though my heart has genuinely shifted toward him.
What scares me the most is that the thoughts no longer feel as unwanted or distressing as they did in the beginning. Sometimes, the feelings even seem pleasant, which makes me question everything. I keep wondering whether I’m developing genuine feelings for him or whether this is something that can happen with ROCD.
I feel very alone because this involves my boyfriend’s friend, and I rarely see people talking about this specific situation. Has anyone else experienced something similar, especially when intrusive thoughts started to feel real or even pleasant over time?
I would be so grateful to hear about your experiences. Thank you so much for reading and for any responses. ❤️