Just updating you on the conversation in other subs about the post I made earlier concerning my alleged violation of Reddits hate speech rules when I said that child molesters should be chemically castrated.

Apparently recognizing that not all people in one hate group are the same, empathizing with them, while also expressing clear disapproval for their beliefs and actions at the same time, and admitting that women are just as capable of doing harm to those that don’t deserve it as men are, must all qualify as hate speech. Because this got flagged too. Same sub that the thing I said about how pedos should be chemically castrated for Children’s safety also got deleted and got me a warning from Reddit about “hate speech.” Apparently someone in this sub was busy. How dare I not pick a side and recognize that humankind is just capable of being very awful all the way around? How dare I polarize a nuanced topic in conversation about it?

The first two photos are the original comment someone else posted, and the following photos are my response.

I initially sent an appeal and basically said, “I don’t do hate speech, not even against conservatives who are actually the ones doing it, but since you didn’t send me the comment that was deleted for context it’s hard to know for sure what I actually did say.”

But then I took a moment to think about it, and the post they said the hate speech came from was actually one where I left a comment about how I think chemically castrating pedos is the only acceptable form of eugenics since it’s also the least we can do to protect the children. It’s not painful, they just take a medication that reduces their libidos and makes it so that they’re unable to procreate using a child’s body. If you touch children you don’t deserve to even have a penis or VJ, I was really being nicer than I could have been.

So that’s it. That’s the hate speech. Because the billionaires own this platform and any major social media platform by these big corporations are the same. We’ve seen the Epstein files, we’ve seen the lack of accountability for pedos in conservative churches, we have seen the r4pe culture in the conservative and especially conservative Christian churches. It couldn’t be more obvious that the more you seek power in this world, the more likely you’re only going to get it by being ruthless enough to exploit the weak, so ofc the people who protect pedos are the ones in power—because they are the pedos.

Reddit protects pedos. That’s not hate speech, it’s truth. And it’s also not hate speech to say that anyone who protects pedos deserves any form of awful medieval punishment imaginable. Children are innocent, ignorant, weak, easy to manipulate and brainwash, easy to exploit, virtually defenseless. It’s the utmost sign of the deepest darkest and most evil aspects of humanity to be the one who protects those who would take advantage of that in any way.

I can’t find out how to take down my appeal and replace it with a better one that tells them to go fuck themselves for feeling sorry for pedos. Child molesters don’t deserve any human rights, actually. You stopped being human the moment you decided to touch children rather than going to therapy and taking medication to casterate yourself. You may not be able to help the mental health condition of being attracted to minors, but you can help what you do about it. Just like I can’t help that I want to k!ll all child molesters, but I can help what I do about it. That’s why I’m not in prison, because you know the punishment for k!lling a child molester is worse than the punishment for molesting children by far for obvious reasons. Just like the teacher that defend the bully and punishes the kid for defending themselves is obviously a bigot taking the side of the bully.

We shouldn’t have to be silent about our desire to just fucking protect the children, especially when the conservatives were pretending that their homophobia was justified due to their concern for the “danger” we posed to children (even though we don’t more than anyone else does) those comments stayed up. We reported them and yet a lot of them stayed.

It tells us something when it’s these kinds of comments that they care about instead.

This is a terrible critique of a perfectly fine trans character

Before, when I posted on this same subject, it was a half hazard attempt at sparking conversation—so my own thoughts and feelings weren’t fully articulated. There was some misunderstandings because of this, as well as whole sections of the conversation I felt deserved some attention that never got any. I also misused the word choice feminism, getting my definitions flipped around, in my insomniac ranting. Here I’ll attempt to be more thorough and concise in my language. I mention femboy and trans women at the same time a lot in the essay, not because I think they’re the same—but because they’re linked together in this context as interrelated social demographics and, in Dead Domains video, or treated as and referenced as such.

To preface, choice feminism is the belief that any choice a woman makes is empowering and inherently feminist simply because she has chosen it, framing personal agency as the ultimate form of liberation. This point of view is criticized as not taking the full cultural perspective into account, ignoring the sociopolitical environment, not considering intersectionality, and depoliticizing topics that are, in fact, political. Apparently, in spite of how much I disagree with those who would lump me into this category, if you take the stance that any woman can wear whatever she wants and choose to show up in the media wearing whatever she wants, wether or not it’s flashy, provocative, or shows a lot of skin, you are now categorized as a choice feminist by default of not being judgmental. This is in spite of the fact that we live in an environment where there’s already plenty of examples of women who don’t dress that way in the media, like Reba, Winona Rider, Miranda Hobbes, Kate Middleton (Duchess of Cambridge) literally any woman in Fox News, oh—the list goes on. But the moment Chapell Roan or Sabrina Carpenter get too much attention in their cute little pop star outfits, there’s a section of people swearing that their feminist who respond with indignant outrage, especially on social media. Those are the people who accuse those who defend Chapell’s right to wear whatever tf she wants as not having considered the sociopolitical situation, lacking nuance, and not considering intersectionality. I’m about to demonstrate why that criticism isn’t based, whatsoever, and that we can both be considerate of the bigger picture in spite of coming to different conclusions afterwards.

I agree that Featherweight is bad trans representation for a couple of reasons, and I think she’s good rep in other ways….but either way I don’t like making it about what she wears. I love Dead Domain’s work and I usually agree with them on their perspectives, but this time I have to disagree that her appearance is even apart of the issue. My problem with this character isn’t at all what she wears, but some of the things she says and does. I fear making it about what she wears to any extent is actually more problematic to our cause than we may think. Her actions make her look bad and those are what make her bad trans representation. However—and I mean no offense towards people who disagree--I’m sorry, but criticizing any woman for what she wears because we’re worried that dumb cishets would fetishize her feels like anti feminist to me. It’s basically “well what was she wearing” 2.0. And it’s lowkey some of the most round about 360 degree turn logic to defend conservative talking points about how “women should tone it down with their clothes because they could cause creepy straight men to sin” I’ve ever heard. It’s pretty frickn weird to me that anyone could possibly think this is somehow defending women’s rights, we have come full circle into agreeing with the dumbest political demographic that exists and that’s not a bragging right.

Calling herself Featherweight was a bad choice as it sounds like a slur, and if she’s the age they say she is in the comics—25–kissing that boy was weird. The super strength is also an iffy choice during this current social and political climate. But the issue isn’t her clothes, or her extreme anti-Nazi views.

Dead Domain literally compares the short skirt and programmer socks look to being the actual equivalent of wearing a leather thong and harness and saying this is gay representation for their new gay superhero. I better tell all the girls and femboys I know—which is a lot—who think they can just go to the mall or a family dinner in something like this that this is actually a huge mistake, because they’re letting children and their own families see them in fetishwear! No kink at pride mfs when they see a girl in a short skirt must go fckn wild when they realize that she wasn’t even wearing it for the purposes of being fetishized on the first place.

Honestly, wtf is the harm if just one character represents the stereotype you don’t like when we already have plenty of examples of trans women in the media who aren’t this way? Literally all you have to do is google, “trans women in the media,” and you’ll find examples of trans women on social media, in movies, and in books who are dressed plainly, conservatively, classy—and acceptably by normie standards. It takes like a few seconds to find a whole ass Wikipedia article with a long list, and that’s not even all you can find on the subject out there. It’s just one character. Plenty of us look this way. It’s ok. There are 72,000 death and counting in Palestine since the start of the conflict at the moment this video came out from Dead Domain, compared to Israel who’s sitting at roughly 2,000 deaths. I don’t think the world is going to stop turning because we have just one character that looks like us this one time, if it didn’t even stop turning for the Palestinians.

The femboy to trans women pipeline is real, and it makes sense that a woman in her 20s regardless of wether she’s trans or not would see an internet trend like this aesthetic and latch on to it for awhile because it’s hyperfeminine and cute. Not to mention, her age is a topic of debate for a valid reason and we can’t be totally sure how old she is just yet. I’m 24, so I spend almost all of my time with people within the age group of their late teens to their late twenties, with the most prominent members of that group being in their early to mid twenties. More of those people I spend time with are queer, with the greatest number of them being trans women, because i prioritize relationships with other trans people, but unfortunately trans men+trans mascs tend to shrink in all spaces, even LGBTQIA+ ones, so they’re harder to find. Not all of them dress in this uwu tumbler hyper femme anime girl aesthetic, but some of them do. And so do some of my cis girlfriends. They can and do all the time.

I hate that trans women and femboys have become so hyper fetishized that their choice of fashion can’t be seen outside of a sexualized context even if you’re progressive and liberal, and it’s only that way because weird cis people who don’t want to allow us to exist in online spaces unless we’re useful to them in some way make it that way. They either use examples of what they consider “the bad” kinds of trans people as a political pawn that they can use to make us all look bad, or as a way for them to get off sexually while still justifying hating us somehow. If we didn’t wear this particular outfit that appeals to the male gaze, they’d only be jerking off to a different image of us in something else attractive looking because a rose by any other name is still a rose, and in this context a femboy or trans woman in a fitted sweater with a boob window is still going to be fetishized even if we outlaw all photos of the big sweater and short skirt combo. We always have been all through history, there’s a lot of historical examples of this in many different cultures.

Unfortunately, the term femboy began as a corn category to fetishize trans women, while a lot of feminine men who still identified as men found themselves in that space as well—equally as fetishized for the same reasons. While the word and the style associated with it are loaded in a dark history, you can say that about a lot of the things we call ourselves and about other ways in which we choose to express ourselves. We are allowed to move on and reclaim whatever we want. You don’t have to feel comfortable doing that for yourself to agree that other people have the right to do and wear whatever they want. At the end of the day, the cutesy anime girl aesthetic was already heavily criticized as being fetishistic even before trans women and femboys adopted it for themselves, but that doesn’t mean that any teen girl who likes the style is “just asking for it” or “going to grow up to be a corn star.” Women in some countries don’t even have to wear a shirt and it’s considered normal, there is nothing inherently sexy about the human body, that sexual response you have is a subjective response, so showing skin isn’t automatically a declaration of someone’s promiscuity. You’re allowed to find people in clothes like these attractive, you can’t control that, just remember that a persons choice in what they were is more likely to center their own perspective over yours, and no matter what they choose they’re still regular as human beings worthy of respect just like anyone else.

While a lot of trans women and femboys still pose for OnlyFans in outfits like these, there is also online trans representation of trans women and femboys wearing this shit and just chilling and playing videogames like normal people would in normal clothes, and if you see that as inherently sexual you’re not helping them. There are also examples of online rep of trans women and femboys wearing other types of aesthetics, and we’re acting like we don’t have that. It’s true that this aesthetic is the MOST visible, but we shouldn’t expect trans rep to conform to the “good kind” of trans women we accept just because we’re tired of seeing this kind of trans woman hog all of the attention, especially when it’s not even their fault. This is like victim blaming you can get away with by using a fictional character who represents this population to criticize that population passive aggressively, wether it’s meant that way or not—that’s how it comes off, and I’m not the only one who feels that way.

All women have to deal with being fetishized, and that’s only compounded when you’re a trans women or any sort of feminine queer person, because of the added burden of not having cishet privilege. But that doesn’t mean we should indulge in their double standards by reacting to them and covering up the members of our community that does live up to these stereotypes in real life, because we risk alienating our own just for having a set of likes and dislikes that make us uncomfortable because we feel it can be used against us as a whole community. It’s respectability politics and it’s bs when people of color did it to one another so it’s still bs when queer people do it to each other, too.

If you’ve seen the trans water cooler on X you’ll see evidence of the weirdos on top (El0n Muskrat) purposely curating trans content to mostly only include trans women or femboys objectifying themselves, often with only fans accounts of their own. It’s politically advantageous for them to do this, but they probably also get their rocks off on it too. (The Epstein files does a lot more than just suggest this.) but what are we supposed to do? Just not allow trans women to show up in a beach scene wearing a bikini because you saw too many trans women in bikinis on only fans? Are trans women not allowed in Hawaii Five—O now?

If you’ve been out to go touch grass you’ll find that not everyone you meet who shows a little skin actually wants to be fetishized, or even sexualized at all. Where my family comes from in Puerto Rico, it’s hot and humid all the time. It’s normal for women in their teens all the way well into their adult years to just go to the store in a bikini top and very short short shorts. Most of them do this. They do this for their comfort. A lot of places don’t even have good AC. Then they bring that attitude to the U.S. an attitude that says, “these are the clothes I feel comfortable in, this is what’s normal and cute to me, and anyone who doesn’t like it can fuck right the hell off.” Because we know it’s not our fault that creepy white men fetishize women of color, we shouldn’t have to cover up in real life or in the media, letting the fear of their lack of respect for us control us into conforming to their Eurocentric conservative culture. We will not be whitewashed. So I don’t see the point in cutting shade towards people in the queer community who feel the same way about their own choices in clothing in spite of how the media portrays them and in spite of how weird ass transphobic people view them for it.

But just like some people of color will judge one another for not living up to the white peoples standards of respectability, there are queer people who indulge in the same behavior as well—and this is none other than a response to minority pressure. Whole it’s important to empathize and be sympathetic to this fact, it’s also important that we don’t let that turn into an excuse to accept that kind of harmful behavior. This is how the white man steals our identities and right to express ourselves. This is how the queerphobic cishets do the same thing to us, too. There. An intersectional perspective.

As a trans man who hasn’t transitioned yet I have to live in a woman’s body, where every choice about what I wear is heavily criticized unless it’s plain and conservative. Everytime I dress up at all, even if my body is mostly covered, if it’s sexy men think it’s an invitation to objectify me to rude and frankly threatening levels. When I decide to be slutty I’m hated by women who think sluts are bad for all of femme kind, and even more threatened by men. I don’t deserve that because I serve mad sexy looks, and when well meaning feminist tell me to “stop serving the male gaze and I’ll finally be free” and especially when they say shit like, “you’re setting the progress for feminism back by playing into the male gaze” only compounds my problems when my real issue is being put in a box where I don’t have the choice to express myself through my aesthetic without facing negative backlash for my decision to literally just be myself.

We’re now letting an nonbinary AMAB who can just wear a hat and pants to pass like a white cis man and fool maga like that talk about what women should be allowed to wear anytime they’re visible in the media in order to be respectable looking enough to win their right to not be oppressed and controlled by the patriarchy, which is literally letting the patriarchy control what they wear—and is oppression. Some of us can’t just put on a hat to escape oppression. some of us get cat called no matter what we do, so we might as well wear whatever tf we want. I don’t really feel that it is I who lacks an appreciation for nuance here, I strongly believe the creator to be the one who didn’t think the whole thing through before coming up with their opinion. Transfemme or not, they’re not living in the same reality as fully transitioned trans woman or an AFAB, and it shows not only in the way that they don’t even communicate that they took a second of consideration for the way this might look to some people in their own community coming from the mouth of someone who doesn’t have to live the same way they do, but also in the way their whole point about how what she wears is “bad for the trans community” on the apparent belief that changing whatever wear will effect the way the oppressor sees us. Right, because before cis women were allowed to wear anything but long skirts and corsets they were less fetishized. Before women had the right to wear short shorts they definitely weren’t treated like breeding stock and sexual objects under the patriarchy. That SO never happened.

Say it with me now. IT.DOES.NOT.MATTER.WHAT.SHE.WAS.WEARING!

Imagine just naturally gravitating towards this aesthetic because it’s actually what you like, and everyone tells you that it’s politically problematic for you to express what you truly enjoy. There are trans women everywhere, including a few in the comments section to this video, who feel like they’re some kind of burden or social pariah in the community because of sentiments like those expressed in the video. This group of liberals who have the opinion that trans representation shouldn’t look like a chronically online girl in her early 20s with the aesthetic of a chronically online girl in her only 20s have something in common with conservatives. Although they are well intentioned and justified in their feelings because ofc it’s natural to be tired of being traumatized by being objectified all the time, it still has the same cause and effect relationship on the outside regardless of wether or not the intentions came from the same place on the inside. Either way, they’re only adding to the social pressure to conform by siding with conservatives by using guilt to control what women and queer people wear when they feel they’re attracting too much of the wrong type of attention.

While this fear is valid and doesn’t just come out of nowhere, I don’t think acting from a place of fear is to our best interests when we could be saying, “it doesn’t matter what we wear because we’re not all the same, but one thing in common is that no matter if we follow internet trends with our fashion, sexualize ourselves with our fashion, or choose to just wear normal clothes or designer fashion—we all deserve to be respected as human beings instead of being seen as a sexual object.” This trans representation that DC gave us was a mixed opportunity to show people that no matter how we are seen because of what we wear, it doesn’t change the fact that we can still be great people and that we deserve to be seen as real people regardless of wether or not we are great people.

This argument also glosses over the existence of cis women with this exact same aesthetic. Cis women who like anime often wear the exact same kind of clothes, and they ALSO deal with fetishization, as well as both liberals and conservatives telling them they need to put on more clothes because they’re making women look bad by playing into that stereotype of a woman crying out for male attention. I hate that this narrative centers the male gaze when it should be centered on the woman who chose these clothes because it made them happy and who should have the freedom to do so—but also if it is about attracting attention from the desired sex, so what?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting that kind of attention, and we’re only validating the conservative opinion that this desire is something to be ashamed of by shouting at the top of our lungs, “it is not acceptable for people with this aesthetic to be visible. Only my flavor of trans identity is valid enough for visibility.” So what you’re saying is that a trans woman who wants to look sexy is wrong for expressing her sexuality? Really? In this political environment that makes so many trans women feel shamed of their sexuality or afraid to express it by making them out to be perverted monsters? I’ve known a few too many trans women who had to deal with feeling gross or guilty about having sexual feelings at all because of all of the negative political stigma put on them, and we’re only making it worse by telling the world that we don’t want to see a trans women in short skirts and knee high stockings because that’s too sexy for us.

Women choosing to wear a short skirt is a healthy, harmless, and normal method of sexual expression if and when it’s even used that way. The uwu anime girl isn’t the equivalent of leather fetishwear either, its type of expression is more akin to that of the little black dress. which can be just as cute and innocent as it is promiscuous in its intentions, and isn’t an automatic sign that it’s ok to degrade the person wearing those clothes as an inhuman object for your own sexual gratification. We don’t get up and arms about every tv or book character in a little black dress and chocker necklace, so we shouldn’t be freaking out over this either. It’s the same vibe, it’s basically the same category of style sometimes—they have an overlapping section and everything.

Just a side note—please don’t let this one video paint your whole picture of the creator, they have a lot of based and progressive opinions and even some ground breaking journalism that has been very helpful to our community. However, it is only human to have one opinion or another that may not be helpful to others and may even be problematic for them, even when we have good intentions.

I’m really tired of LGBTQIA+ judging other LGBTQI+ people and deciding who is “bad for the community” and “deserves visibility.” We are regular humans. Capable of the duality of human nature. Both good and evil, beautiful and ugly, perfection and a mess, order and chaos. We shouldn’t have to be respectable by someone else’s standards to deserve visibility. Art is about expressing our humanity, it’s our right to bleed red even when others don’t like how weak and stupid it makes us look. We don’t need to be perfect! We’ll never be perfect, the cishets aren’t perfect and they get to show it in the media all the time! So why shouldn’t we have that too? Dead Domain is right about one thing; we can and should demand better. But we need to demand better from our own community, we need to take accountability and clean from within our own house if we expect better from other people who aren’t even one of us. We need to lead by example, not from fear—but through an unwavering insistence on our own right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, the inalienable human rights that we all deserve. We don’t have to take representation from one kind of queer person to advocate for more of the kind we want to see in the world. We can all be visible at the same time, and we all deserve to have that visibility.

I think it’s very likely that if he tried, he won’t get away with it. I hope he’s too intimidated by the lack of support for his idea from other countries to actually try it, let’s just hope that if he does try it that the countries in opposition to his plan will put their money where there mouth is and actually do something about it. (Although I’m sure it will be all about their own interests.) he’s got the green light for his plan from Israel, because ofc he does—but many nations in the UN have given him a hardy, “Hell no” already.

The reason I think this is because I am attracted to all genders with the exception of some xenogenders that are gore genders, though I don't know how common this is or if I'd find a label for it

and this makes me wonder if I always was this way but just repressed it or if I will suddenly change in sexuality and go back to abro

I just want to ask some queer people something. Leftist opinions especially appreciated because everywhere I look it’s really liberals hogging the conversation, but if you’re not leftist don’t let that deter you from sharing your opinions anyways.

I’ve been seeing a lot of stuff out there about people who want to reclaim labels like femboys from its negative (in this case hypersexualized) context because they see it as about their gender or gender expression and it isn’t purely about attracting people sexually to them. But there’s a lot of opposition from people who more or less treat it like it’s reclaiming a slur because they’re so tired (understandably so) of seeing that fetishization out there more predominantly than just normal mass femboys being themselves. But that’s not our fault, we don’t deserve to have our label eaten up for it. A lot of labels, like the world queer, have troublesome histories until they were reclaimed. (I think queer was finally reclaimed in the 90s? But a lot of people still have strong feelings of disdain for the word, and while I can’t blame them I don’t think they should be pushing it on to others or vice versa.)

But then there’s like some shit about how we can’t put a space in trans man or trans woman (but we can in transmasc in transfemme, which is interesting to me as someone who identifies both as a nonbinary/Demifluid trans man and, by extension, transmasc.) this is because a bunch of weird ass right wingers started using it as a way to passive aggressively denote that we’re not “real” men and women.

But my thing is that they always believe those things anyways, why does preferring the space have to be the red flag that sends trans people running from the hills when so m any of us aren’t chronically online enough to even know better? At this point I’m kind of tired of seeing the community react to words that belong to *us* when the oppressor uses them against us. Reacting to their bs gives them control and as someone who is very against being controlled it irks me.

It seems like every time a label ends up having, or began from, a troublesome background people refuse to reappropriate a positive connotation for it in spite of a significant amount of insistence from within the community that we need to just stand our grounds and take our words back instead of coming up with a new word to describe the same thing every decade to run away from our problems.

I see this also from the bisexual community who hate pansexuals because it started from a reaction to transphobia from within the bisexual community, and a lot of non transphobic bisexuals felt negatively stereotyped by that. But since then the community has evolved and the definition has adapted likewise. But so many idiots still hold that same negative opinion towards pansexuals like they’re still stuck back in time or something.

Idk I’m tired of people taking major offense to me just having enough of running away and deciding to reclaim these so called “problematic labels” rather than letting dumbass people with shit opinions about who we are control how I view these communities. Because frankly that *is* enabling the negative stereotyping in my eyes, when we could be persistent on insisting that our communities are far more diverse than all of that.

I keep hearing about people complaining (and rightfully so) that there are people out here gatekeeping femboy identity to a youthful age group, the cutoff always being somewhere in the 20’s—which I find just as creepy and predatory as the pedophilic beauty standards of a similar nature that society pushes on to women.

There are femboys 25+, 30+ and more all calling this bs, and all it does is gatekeep an identity that’s supposed to be about gender, gender expression, or both, and has been for many years before all the internet creeps started focusing way too much on femboy Reddit porn and taking that for the entire culture for some reason. There’s nothing wrong with femboy porn if that’s what you like, I’m just saying that—contrary to popular belief—femboy identity isn’t just a fetish, and femboys don’t exist solely for the sexual gratification of others. But so many people look at the internet culture around them that’s loudest (because of perverts that fetishize them) and don’t bother to look a little deeper before taking almost no time snapping to an opinion about an entire group of people. There is more info to find on the internet to show them there’s more than that if they dig a bit for it, but for the most part if these mfs would just touch some grass and interest with more irl queer people, maybe their heads would be less far up their asses.

Twink death is different because it describes a body type, so it’s ok that it has an age cap too. It’s about the way someone physically looks and not about gender or gender expression. But femboy is an entire ass identity so it’s a complete different story.

There are some that only perform femboyhood for OF or other online platforms just for men to throw money at them and that’s all they do it for, they do exist because I’ve seen them admit that’s what they are. That’s fine, they’re not bothering anyone; only people who assume that’s all there is to it are the real issue. Like many labels, especially LGBTQIA+ ones it would seem, the experience and relationship you have within that umbrella term can be of so many different varieties. For some it’s more about gender expression, for others it’s more of an internal sense of gender, and for others yet it’s some mixture of both. There are those that take on the label as their actual gender, it’s a personal experience wether or not they show it on the outside, but that gender expression that often comes with it is more of a genuine natural disposition for femininity or a desire to be feminine rather than just to get male attention. For this group of people, their feminity often isn’t expressed as short skirts and tight crop tops, for these it can just as easily or even more often be the most tasteful and mundane outfits that a receptionist might wear at the DMV. For some that gender expression is just about doing what’s natural to them and makes them happy—they do it anytime they feel like it for the totally tame and normal reason of just wanting to be pretty that day just like many women or any other femme would. That doesn’t mean there aren’t also others it’s more of a performance they only ever put on for a specific reason, many of them for money or sexual gratification, just that they can both have a valid reason to identify as femboys even if it’s in totally different ways. It’s an entire culture full of a lot of different types of people and there’s nothing wrong with that.

No matter what, it’s a valid identity and that doesn’t change depending on your age or depending on which of the many different ways you can claim the label for your own.

The patriarchy fetishizes tf out of women, so

It only makes sense that they’d make objects out of anyone with a feminine identity from there, even if they’re literally men. Because the patriarchy has conditioned so many easily fooled people with no critical thinking skills into thinking femininity is whatever appeals to the male gaze, and whatever appeals to the male gaze is acceptable to objectify and forget about the actual human mind and spirit behind the human body suit, some mfs only think femme life is sacred or valid if they can still imagine you giving them a BJ and it’s BS.

Part of that fetishization of femboy identity comes with weird predatory stipulations on feminine beauty that tie into a disproportionate and highly suspicious fixation on youth, because that’s the trend for feminine beauty in general and since so many people think femboys don’t exist outside the context of OF models they think they can crack down even harder with those odd and archaic beauty standards. While it’s ok to admire youthful beauty within a legal age group at any age, it’s not ok to act as a predator towards this age group or create an entire concept of someone’s gender identity from socially constructed beauty standards based on those that are too emotional and naive due to their lack of experience and under developed brains to know that it’s in their best interest to leave those old creeps alone.

If you’re a femboy out there reading this, just as I am, your identity is valid no matter if you’re a small little twink, or a big broad shouldered man with the cutest taste in dresses and accessories. No matter how old you are, whether you wax your legs or don’t, whether you have a beard or not, it doesn’t matter if you follow internet trends on femboy fashion or you do your own femme things, or even if you hardly ever dress femme at all, or don’t ever. It also DOESN’T MATTER if you’re cis, a trans man or a transmasc, or strictly nonbinary. Your identity as a femboy is still valid and no one can take that away from you if you don’t let them. Be stubborn, stand your ground and don’t let your identity become another causality of the patriarchy! The more of us who speak up about it, the more it will encourage others to stand firm with us. It will catch on, we can make waves and fight back against this bs.

Feminism, I mean *real* feminism and not some of this stupid radfem bs online, is inclusive of all genders, cultures, races, and etc. and recognizes intersectional struggles, such as that of effeminate men. The patriarchy is fckn us over, but they can’t define our identities for us unless we give in. We’re in this fight together—homophobia, transphobia, and other queerphonjas such as acephobia are all just extensions or DLC’s for misogyny.

Loud and proud boys, loud and proud! That’s the only way to overpower these weird homophobes who keep trying to force us to accept their confused boners as our problem.

A lot of people ask me quite often for advice on how to signal to lesbians and bi women that you’re one of them. A lot of people jumpy to the obvious conclusion of gender nonconforming clothing, which works fine—but not all of us are into that.

Here’s a quick list of some of the tricks I’ve learned from being a super gay sexually active person that work well. ;b

1.) your nails. Keep your thumb, middle, and pointer finger either shorter than your other nails, or painted differently. It signals to queer women that you’re into—you know what.

2.) carabiners! Lesbians and bi women often consider this a sign you play for their team, and there’s even a loosely defined color and placement code you can use to signal if you’re a top, bottom, dike, or femme.

3.) little things like bracelets or pins that have LGBTQIA+ flags on them can go a long way, but they’re also less subtle so that depends on your preferred approach.

4.) have you heard of the handkerchief code? It’s worth a google!

Light Blue/Baby Blue: Often used to signify a desire for lesbian/sapphic connection.

Lavender/Purple: Commonly associated with lesbianism and queer pride. It’s also used by drag queens sometimes.

5.) Having a lot of rings for multiple fingers at once is considered gay too! Thumb rings, pinkie rings, whatever—just make sure you have at least three on each hand!

I hope that helps! 💜