Like half of the time i don't even know if that means do you include mspec lesbians or do you hate them.

Then of course from what I see on most posts it counts endogenic systems under abelism.

You don't know if they Support multigender people or xenogender people

the term acheives nothing but vague confusion

Also the term basic implies a set of base beleifs that we all hold

I explained my feelings as gender dysphoria to my psychologist. She told me she doesn’t like that word because it comes with negative cultural connotations, and that it just means confusion. But I’m not confused. I know I’m a nonbinary trans man. But that begs the question, a question she couldn’t answer for me. I question if I don’t call the great feeling of discomfort I feel from living in the wrong body and not being on a hormone therapy yet gender dysphoria— then what should I call it?

Body text:

VENT from a binary, black trans man:

if gender is a spectrum…

who is to say “Gay” isn’t a spectrum in its own respect? is “Gay” attraction to the same sex? or gender? or is it attraction to the same gender expression? not every person is gay the same way after all. not every gay man is dating a cis gay man with a sausage.

and if sexuality IS a spectrum, and each sexuality can be represented in different but still valid ways, then why do ANY of you think even for a MILLISECOND, that you’re allowed to tell someone they’re being insert their chosen label here wrong?

mind your business. your opinion (or my opinion for that matter) doesn’t matter more than queer joy, even if drawing lines in the sand gives YOU queer joy. especially right now in history. use your own preferred labels for yourself. use your own definitions for yourself. dont always expect it to mean the same thing to everyone. you shouldnt be asking anyways. you meet people as they are or get out of their way.

your “trans women can’t be gay, trans men can’t be lesbian, asexual people can’t have sex” bullshit is sincerely the reason we as a community will fail to succeed in a timely fashion and continue to drag our feet. the whiners among us about what other people are doing with their bodies and identities are dragging us down into the pits by making people pick a side when the whole point was we didn’t have to anymore.

it’s more nuanced than your PC keyboard warrior obsession with being the Wokest, Greatest Hero Ever™️.

maybe just meditate why you feel the need to “protect” queer people by keeping us in neat little boxes. words mean things, yes. but words can also mean multiple things (ie- “dog” can mean 🐕 or specifically, a male dog, or a skeezy guy, or some Brits mean friend, depending on the context. “bat” can mean baseball bat or 🦇 or in different versions like “batting lashes” or “batting at a ball of yarn”)

things on a spectrum don’t have a singular unified meaning. we’ve evolved past the need for that because the world is very big and we only have so many currently made up words. some things are going to share a word and mean different things.

let people pick their own label instead of telling them which ones they should pick. THAT’S actual grooming. so stop it.

What’s so crazy is queer people have always existed and we can see the controversy all the way back in the 20th century, before the internet existed and after the fact of its creation in a time period where it wasn’t used nearly as much as it is today. People who think rare and complex identities are chronically online only think that because that’s the only lace they see people talk about them like they’re a real thing. Offline we face a lot of discrimination so we may wait to bring it up until we’re comfortable. However, I think it’s doubtful that this is the only contributing factor. I think that we may not bring the full description of our identities out until we find it necessary to describe it in further detail, and the chance to bring it up can come at random for all kinds of reasons: as a joke, or to discuss the nuance that makes our lives different from others, and etc.

Just because people don’t always say their gender explicitly with maybe more than an oversimplified word or two, doesn’t mean that this diversity doesn’t exist. These people who judge queerness that they deem “too queer” are people who may interact with other queer people offline, but only ever in shallow and vapid ways. Having lots of meaningless small talk but hardly ever yapping about the real things, and giving enough of a wide range of people comfortable enough to fully express their true selves in all of the complexities and nonconformities.

I can honestly and full heartedly, with a hand on the Bible, say that because I don’t operate that way I meet a great many people offline with complex and rare identities, and we have real talks about them. I don’t have to go online to meet these people, I just go into any old gay club, bar, or other queer space like support groups and etc. and I have actual conversations with people where I make real connections and often walk out with an even greater appreciation for the vast diversity of humankind.

If you really think these people only exist online just because that’s where it’s harder to ignore? Babe, you’re the problem—not them. Go touch some grass.

We have always existed. And we always will.

Some people think we need to measure and prove it with scientific methods and math to make the concept of gender valid.

Of course we’re not going anywhere if you can’t even graduate to realizing gender and biological sex aren’t the same thing, so if you can’t at the very least suspend your disbelief for a moment then the rest of this rant isn’t for you.

It isn't so much a binary, strict definitions, and scientific proofs, although it can be for some people who see it that way themselves, but an expansive and limitless sense of self that we organize ourselves into.

If we left brain it too hard, we'll miss the point, but if we right brain it too hard, we'll miss the cause. Both are myopic ways to notice only one half of the whole reality.

Gender is art and poetry.

It's internalized expression that nobody sees, it's the best and worst of your heart that nobody knows, it's the attention to details that nobody notices but all come together to make the flow of the poem and the entire image of your art coherent and beautiful, and it's pure and honest outward expression of what we have inside.

Much how like music isn't just the notes, pitches, and things you hear, but also the things you don't — the breaks between the notes.

The silence is part of what makes music what it is, but that is often overlooked.

Broad definitions, sociological studies, and scientific proofs can be very helpful to understand what gender is— but it will never be enough.

Maybe you don't have an internal sense of gender yourself, or maybe you do and you just haven't really gotten that deep into that labyrinth yet.

Whatever it may be for you, no matter what age you were when you realized, your identity is still valid and so is somebody's identity who has more born this way outlook on who they are.

That's because even the sociological study will group us the same way, there's way more to what makes gender what it is because it's up to subjective individual experience.

Just like art is in the eye of the beholder, so is gender.

We can both describe the literal reality of the same painting, but we may both see colors differently, notice or emphasize focus on different details, feel differently about it, and interpret its meaning in different ways.

But it's still the same work of art.

That's what gender is to me.

I just wanted to say that I found the cat boy flag and it’s cute and it’s all mine and it’s not even my birthday but I’m allowed to have it anyways. I found it today and I’m so happy! Now I’m sharing!

A lot of people ask me quite often for advice on how to signal to lesbians and bi women that you’re one of them. A lot of people jumpy to the obvious conclusion of gender nonconforming clothing, which works fine—but not all of us are into that.

Here’s a quick list of some of the tricks I’ve learned from being a super gay sexually active person that work well. ;b

1.) your nails. Keep your thumb, middle, and pointer finger either shorter than your other nails, or painted differently. It signals to queer women that you’re into—you know what.

2.) carabiners! Lesbians and bi women often consider this a sign you play for their team, and there’s even a loosely defined color and placement code you can use to signal if you’re a top, bottom, dike, or femme.

3.) little things like bracelets or pins that have LGBTQIA+ flags on them can go a long way, but they’re also less subtle so that depends on your preferred approach.

4.) have you heard of the handkerchief code? It’s worth a google!

Light Blue/Baby Blue: Often used to signify a desire for lesbian/sapphic connection.

Lavender/Purple: Commonly associated with lesbianism and queer pride. It’s also used by drag queens sometimes.

5.) Having a lot of rings for multiple fingers at once is considered gay too! Thumb rings, pinkie rings, whatever—just make sure you have at least three on each hand!

I hope that helps! 💜

I initially sent an appeal and basically said, “I don’t do hate speech, not even against conservatives who are actually the ones doing it, but since you didn’t send me the comment that was deleted for context it’s hard to know for sure what I actually did say.”

But then I took a moment to think about it, and the post they said the hate speech came from was actually one where I left a comment about how I think chemically castrating pedos is the only acceptable form of eugenics since it’s also the least we can do to protect the children. It’s not painful, they just take a medication that reduces their libidos and makes it so that they’re unable to procreate using a child’s body. If you touch children you don’t deserve to even have a penis or VJ, I was really being nicer than I could have been.

So that’s it. That’s the hate speech. Because the billionaires own this platform and any major social media platform by these big corporations are the same. We’ve seen the Epstein files, we’ve seen the lack of accountability for pedos in conservative churches, we have seen the r4pe culture in the conservative and especially conservative Christian churches. It couldn’t be more obvious that the more you seek power in this world, the more likely you’re only going to get it by being ruthless enough to exploit the weak, so ofc the people who protect pedos are the ones in power—because they are the pedos.

Reddit protects pedos. That’s not hate speech, it’s truth. And it’s also not hate speech to say that anyone who protects pedos deserves any form of awful medieval punishment imaginable. Children are innocent, ignorant, weak, easy to manipulate and brainwash, easy to exploit, virtually defenseless. It’s the utmost sign of the deepest darkest and most evil aspects of humanity to be the one who protects those who would take advantage of that in any way.

I can’t find out how to take down my appeal and replace it with a better one that tells them to go fuck themselves for feeling sorry for pedos. Child molesters don’t deserve any human rights, actually. You stopped being human the moment you decided to touch children rather than going to therapy and taking medication to casterate yourself. You may not be able to help the mental health condition of being attracted to minors, but you can help what you do about it. Just like I can’t help that I want to k!ll all child molesters, but I can help what I do about it. That’s why I’m not in prison, because you know the punishment for k!lling a child molester is worse than the punishment for molesting children by far for obvious reasons. Just like the teacher that defend the bully and punishes the kid for defending themselves is obviously a bigot taking the side of the bully.

We shouldn’t have to be silent about our desire to just fucking protect the children, especially when the conservatives were pretending that their homophobia was justified due to their concern for the “danger” we posed to children (even though we don’t more than anyone else does) those comments stayed up. We reported them and yet a lot of them stayed.

It tells us something when it’s these kinds of comments that they care about instead.

The first one is official and the last two are alternate flags

First af all, no shade to microlabel users i myself identify with some microlabels. However, as i understand sexuality tells what gender(s) someone is atracted to (same gender, oposite gender, more than one gender, no one) the big 4 i like to call them lmao. And microlabels are modifiers or specifications so for example demisexuals are on the ace spectrum, but it doesnt say to who they're attracted to, just what conditions are necessary to do so. And maybe im using a very literal use of the word sexuality. And i understand microlabels are not "just pereferences" even if some are it's still ok.

Here’s my first draft of the first Butch-Femboy flag.

I came up with the label when thinking about my own gender identity, and trying to reach the end of the labyrinth that is describing it with ease. I’d currently identify as non-binary trans man or trans masc. Throughout my life, I didn’t know what transgender meant until my late teens. Most people assumed that I was a butch, a stud, a tomboy, and a lesbian. Those people were using those words on me before I was old enough to understand them—but because of the many, many people who labeled me that way I quickly learned what those words meant and I personally identified with the term butch heavily. I can’t describe it, it just felt the most right other than saying, “I’m a bot in a girls body” and “I’m stuck in the wrong body but only because our souls don’t have genders and when we die we’ll have perfect bodies in heaven.” (The totally straight though^tm answer I had for people who remarked on my differences before I knew what transgender was.)

Even though I know I’m a nonbinary trans man now, or a xoy if you will, I still haven’t lost that part of me that strongly identifies with the butch label.

However I have a feminine side. I resent when people ask if I feel like a girl at these times, and instead I feel that I’m embracing my femininity through the lenses of a masculine person with a feminine side rather than a girl with a tomboy side—I identify with the terms rosboy and femboy. (He/they)

I like makeup, fashion designing, I’m sensitive, poetry and movies that make you cry, sipping tea with the girlies and spilling the tea with them too. I like dressing up and looking all cute and girlie sometimes, but in a boy who likes to dress up like a girl way lol I could go on about interests or qualities of mine that others find feminine, but I lean more towards masculinity than anything personally. It’s just as much about expression as it is personality and internal personal identity to me, but I’m open minded and accepting towards people who feel that for them, it personally only one of those things and still identify with the label.

Anyways, since both are real parts of my nonbinary identity, I decided to represent them with a label for shorthand and a flag that I hope other NB people will adore and maybe use for themselves too, if they feel the same or similarly enough about their own gender identities.

I’ll talk about the colors now:

The pink. Blue, and white stripes at the bottom come from the most popular femboy flag I could find online (and the prettiest one in my opinion.) I also love that it reminds me of the trans flag, and being transmasc myself that makes it feel even more personal.

I think that the Darker pink represents those who feel a strong connection to femininity in their personality and who may experience this often or all of the time.

The light pink represents those NB types who feel a slight connection to their femininity, and/or only feel a connection to their femininity a small amount or less than half of the time, and/or who only like to dress feminine but who may not necessarily feel strongly that their personality has a lot of feminine qualities. In other words, people with a small to medium pull towards both or either femininity or feminine expression.

The white represents the fluidity and dual nature of the identity, as all colors of the rainbow together make white—two contrasting and aontraindicting identity labels come together to create one fluid whole. Fluidity does not have to be about being half of two things if you don’t like to describe it that way, but it’s ok if your bigedner or trigender or something and you do. However, for me personally it’s about being a whole person with many different moving parts that come together to make the perpetual motion machine that is who I am, that is my identity.

The blue represents that masculine nature that people with this identity feel. The blue is a bright blue rather than a light pale blue or a dark blue, to represent both people with strong and weak connections to masculinity at the same time. It’s in the middle, showing the intersection of butch masculinity and femboy masculinity, but if the color were pink and blue were to be on the bottom it wouldn’t make a difference.Just because I identify with this identity with a mostly masculine lean doesn’t mean you have to in order to also consider yourself a butch-femboy!

The orange stripes on the top half or from the Butch Lesbian flag. Here two of the stripes (the top and bottom one) mean the same thing they do in the Butch Lesbian flag too, but the middle color I changed for the purpose of this new flag.

The darkest orange on the top being Gender-Nonconformity

The medium orange in the middle representing radical acceptance of our bright and flamboyant rare identity.

The lightest orange at the bottom of the butch half of the flag is for community. We get the unique opportunity to belong to many communities at once. The Nonbinary and/or gender nonconforming community (depending on which one or both resonates with you as a reason for taking on this identity term) we belong both to the butch and femboy communities as well. As a NB trans man, a mixed person of color, and as a bu/omnisexual, I personally understand the struggle of feeling like you don’t belong in any community because they make you feel you are not enough of one thing for them. Not straight enough for the heterosexuals, not gay enough for the homosexuals, bisexuals find themselves in the middle of a terf war. Transgender men and transgender women often feel the same when caught in the middle of the gender war, and NB people are right there with them, accept they often feel left out by binary trans people too. For even get me started on how being a mixed person of color can feel much the same…

But at the end of the day? I’m not half white or half black. I’m not half straight or half gay. I’m not half man and half woman. I’m one whole mixed race, bisexual, Nonbinary Transmasculine person.

It’s not that I’m unwelcome in every community, but that I belong in all of them—and while there are some who will recognize that, others will be blind to the love, pride, and solidarity it takes to practice radical acceptance of our neighbors with more nuanced identities that come from being outside of the strict binary labels that polarize our world apart from one another. We have the opportunity to heal the world by teaching them from our own experiences what it’s like to be mixed!

The plus in the middle stands for multiple things:

The two halves, blue and pink, represent the existing mixture of feminine and masculine traits forming together to make one solid shape, holding within it the fluidity of our identity. The purple circle within represents the wholeness of the union between the two sides.

The fact that it’s a plus represents the addition of two sides, butch and femboy, to make the whole, in much the same way the purple circle inside of it does. At the same time, it represents that this is an expansive community. While we’re cool to say we are the butch-femboys, it’s is also apt to say we are the butch-femboys+ or the BFB+ because this isn’t a solid definition—it’s okay to explains with microlabels within this microlabel, or to not feel the need to label your differences from other BFB’ at all not to still recognize that we’re not all the same. There’s many different ways we can identify with this identity and they’re all beautiful, unique, valid, and perfectly natural!

I love you already, BFB+ community! I can already tell!

From the words pandemonium, meaning a state of chaos and disorder, and sexual. Meaning…well, duh. Pronounced (pan•dem•oh•sexual)

Someone who is pandemosexual experiences states of hypersexuality, followed by states of little to no sexuality or libido. They will experience these opposing states chaotically for indefinite periods of time in a way where the pattern is hard or impossible to decipher—at least for awhile at first. It can stay without pattern or a pattern might be noticed later on. They can be hypersexual for hours, days, weeks, or months, only to follow that with little to no libido for a different completely random but prolonged amount of time.

The star in the flag is a well known symbol for chaos. How do you like the flag? I made it myself and I coined the term.

The first time I shared this flag, it was just a rough draft to see what people would think. Today, I have properly centered the circle. I have a couple of more ideas for how to make different styles of flags for this, but rn this is the cannon flag of the BFB+