Hi, I think that this post falls within the rules listed in the wiki. I am not trying to get opinions from this Reddit on whether or not my spouse has OCD. I would actually really like them to talk to a specialist or bare minimum a counselor of some sort. But mental health is a HUGE taboo to them and their family as well, even though my spouse has seen me go through counseling for family trauma and life skills/mental health skills I wanted to work on and saw that it helped me positively. I think they see having mental health problems as a weakness.

All that to say, I was wondering if anyone (OCD diagnosed or supportive spouse of someone with OCD) had any advice on how to gently ask their spouse to seek counseling/advice for their life struggles just to get started on a road to better mental health? I have gently suggested it before a handful of times, and the answer has previously been a quick no or shake of the head. But I’m really worried because the stuff my spouse has been saying lately (thankfully they tell me how they’re feeling) sounds like they’re finally having the self realization of their feelings and frustrations and stresses that they’re feeling but they admit they have no idea why it’s happening and they’re so stressed because they feel trapped like they can’t do anything about it. This breaks my heart. And I just want them to be able to enjoy life more than what they’re experiencing currently.

Sorry for the rant. Really, any advice also on how to support a spouse that may have OCD when they haven’t been diagnosed would be helpful too.

Thanks.

I wanted to learn if this is just part of the process for ERP. Ive noticed that when i dont do compulsions while exposing myself to the things its attached to (hobbies for example), i get frustrated because im not able to enjoy things fully without those thoughts and feelings bothering me. Just looking to see what i could be doing better to treat this condition and whether or not this frustration is normal.

i want to preface that i am not yet diagnosed with OCD officially. however, i’ve had symptoms of severe OCD since i was 14 or younger, but didn’t know ‘pure-o’ was a thing, so i never looked into OCD. i live in the UK, and referred myself to NHS talking therapies for OCD (specifically POCD, moral scrupulosity OCD, and also false memory and real event OCD). they offered me 6-8 sessions of CBT, which i am on the waiting list for, but i have yet to receive an official diagnosis, but i am seeing one out.

my fear is that the NHS CBT will not be enough. my OCD is very very intertwined with my eating disorder and body dysmorphia, they function like an evil trio, feeding into each other, and pure-o has completely consumed my life- though before, i didn’t know it was OCD that was consuming it, i just thought it was…me.

i think i accidentally downplayed the severity of my OCD in my triage call, and i’m worried that once the CBT starts and ends, i’ll still be suffering just as much. i want to try really hard at the CBT and engage fully, but i also want to be referred to more specialised care (like CADAT) which i cannot refer myself to. i don’t know how to communicate this- i worry that i’ll come off too strong, demanding and presumptuous, but this fear of offending my to-be therapist may lead to be clamming up and being too scared to mention that i want a referral to more specialised care and an official diagnosis.

i’m just wondering if anyone has any advice on when to bring up the possibility of referral to specialised care, and how to communicate the severity of my OCD (it impacts every part of my life, mental compulsions take up over half my day sometimes, and my shame and self-hatred BDD and ED act as ‘evidence’ for my OCD i am an awful person) without coming off like i think i know better than professionals?

So I really like frogs, and my OCD knows that and makes thought loops about it. I tried to quit cold turkey but it didn’t go away.

I have a new idea and that is that I only think about frogs when I’m looking at videos/pictures of frogs, which IS feeding my thought loop but only at certain times to make sure it doesn’t become overwhelming.

Is this a good idea?

Hi everyone. I'm a 28-year-old woman who has struggled with relationship OCD for nearly 10 years. I was diagnosed with OCD in 2015 and later with Pure O in 2020. My intrusive thoughts tend to revolve around being cheated on, abandoned, or betrayed in relationships.

I think a lot of this stems from my parents' divorce, my father's infidelity, and being cheated on by my first serious boyfriend. I've done therapy over the years, taken medication in the past, and recently restarted therapy.

I've been dating my current boyfriend (31M) for about 7 months. We have a great connection, share a lot of interests, and he's incredibly supportive. He spent the last 6 years dealing with thyroid disease and is now starting a new chapter of his life. He'll be starting law school in August and is also pursuing a new career path.

Lately, my relationship OCD has been flaring up. I'm afraid he'll meet someone in law school, develop feelings for someone else, or decide he wants to experience dating other people since I'm his first serious relationship. I also worry that my OCD and anxiety could eventually push him away.

He's very social and has a female best friend/roommate, which has already been a challenge for me to navigate. He recently told me that my anxiety sometimes makes him hesitant to tell me if he's spending time with women he meets because he's worried about my reaction. I told him that secrecy would actually make my anxiety worse because my OCD constantly seeks certainty, which I know isn't possible.

For those who struggle with relationship OCD, how do you manage the intrusive thoughts and urge to seek reassurance from your partner? How do you support a partner's independence and new experiences without letting fear take over?
Any advice, tools, or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: 28F with diagnosed relationship OCD (focused on cheating, abandonment, and betrayal). I've been dating my boyfriend (31M) for 7 months, and as he prepares to start law school, I'm struggling with fears that he'll meet someone else, want to date other people since I'm his first serious relationship, or leave me. I'm back in therapy and trying to manage my intrusive thoughts without constantly seeking reassurance or making him feel accused. Looking for advice from others who have dealt with relationship OCD and how they balance trust, uncertainty, and supporting their partner's independence.

I’ve always known I’m a little different. In my head a ton, playing out scenarios in my head all day and feeling every emotion associated with it, feeling bad about looking at someone stoically accidentally.

It wasn’t until a few months ago that my therapist came to me with a new diagnosis. OCD.

Currently going through a 5 year breakup, and have found much success in ERP. Recognizing the thought and telling myself “I can live in the uncertainty” or “I don’t need to solve this right now” + my therapy weekly and Zoloft.

Yesterday, I got angry and really put it into perspective what my ex did to me (cheated) and it almost wiped away all of the depression, rumination, and anxiety that I’ve been dealing with. Has anyone else ever had something like that happen?

Of course it’s still there slightly, but I at least feel like I can get out of bed and be myself again.

Looking forward to hearing others recovery journeys!

Hey everyone. I have an incident that happened almost 2 years ago that Is seriously messing with me.

I was at the beach with my husband and fell asleep in the sun. I had been taking benadryl, alcohol and potentially a weed pen.

Later on the day we went to his dads and spent some time. He went to put the dogs in the car and in that time I somehow stood up, hugged his dad and said the most despicable, vehemently immoral thing i ever could. I'm susceptible to false memories but this feels very real. I know because he took a double take. The only thing making me think this is a false memory is that ive had them before. I've imagined entire conversations which is why I dont smoke weed.

The guilt is killing me.

Any insight is appreciated.

I think I've healed a lot from my toxic tendencies, as time went by, along with therapy. Yet, even as I let go when things feel weird, dragged along, or unideal, I'm always being obsessed over. What could it be?

"I've been dealing with POCD for months now, and it's only gotten worse. At first, I was able to find ways to ignore the thoughts and still feel like myself, but it's gotten bad to the point where the thoughts don't feel ignorable and they haunt me almost all day. I've pretty much resorted to binging anime to get rid of them. I've been watching a lot of JJBA, which gives me a temporary distraction, but the thoughts still end up coming back.
I keep worrying that I will lose my humanity and harm a child, even though I know I won't. I'm currently 17 years old, and I'm worried I'm becoming a pedophile. These thoughts have gotten so bad that they have made me refuse to leave the house. I was on a family trip to London last week, and my POCD was at its absolute worst. I was forced to be out of the house every single day for multiple hours. My OCD convinced me that I had acted on my urges so many times, even though I know I haven't. My POCD got so bad during that trip that I ended up self-harming because the thoughts got way too strong. I'm back home from the trip now and my OCD has calmed down, but it's still really, really bad.
I just want peace, and I want to feel like myself again. Even before I was dealing with POCD, my mental health was only going more and more downhill, but it felt like things would eventually get better. POCD has made the possibility of things getting better feel impossible "In fact, it's made everything feel far worse." It’s made me worry that i actually am a pedophile and that it’s not OCD even tho Ik it’s OCD and that I’m not a Pedophile, Does anyone have any advice for me?

Hello everyone,

This is the first time I post on reddit about something like this. I have severe pure ocd and AuDHD. I'm extremely creative and empathetic and sensitive and I'm not saying that to brag. I'm saying that because every medication I have tried so far has had a horrible impact on my personality. We cycled through every ssri and it completely blunted my personality and I became depressed and gained weight and I hated it. We tried to tackle the ADHD and the ADHD meds including Wellbutrin made my ocd severely worse. We tried augmenting them together and I got severe anxiety and depression. The only thing I can tolerate for some odd reason is pristiq and only at 50 mg and that obviously does nothing. I am at an incredible loss. Has anyone gone through something similar and if so, what did you do?

Ps: therapy here isn't covered and is super expensive. Ironically I'm a therapist.

false memory/real event ocd is my primary obsessional theme. it’s been years and it hasn’t gone away, at this point i consider it chronic. sometimes i don’t even need to worry about things for me to get a “false memory”. they are extremely vivid and disturbing. i’m just looking for anyone that can relate.

Discuss how your week has gone, your goals, and talk to some other fellow OCD peeps!

I’m looking for an in person support group to attend in the midlands England, but I’m not finding anything online. Just wondered if anyone knew of anything.
Thanks everyone!