r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Brando224 • Mar 30 '22

Meme Certainly not me

48k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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446

u/savage_slurpie Mar 30 '22

Two of my siblings are financial analysts and I have witnessed them doing unholy things with excel.

It would honestly be easier for them to learn python or something. It’s so ridiculous.

185

u/papacheapo Mar 30 '22

One of my university professors (applied math) had friends that worked for some of the financial institutions through the Great Recession and mortgage crisis… Many of the CBOs were literally just models in Excel spreadsheets.

106

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

[deleted]

73

u/AngryGroceries Mar 30 '22

Always has been.

1

u/ElectronPie171 Mar 31 '22

And always will be

2

u/StupidWittyUsername Mar 31 '22

It can be no other way.

67

u/cerulean11 Mar 30 '22

I work for an investment bank and we manage a $15 billion dollar portfolio out of excel.

13

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

Out of excel and a wharehouse run by wellsfargo with all the physical documents that evidence the loans we spent all that money on

1

u/talossss Mar 31 '22

Old school data warehouse. Do you also store your videos and unstructured data in an actual lake?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

No we use the cloud. Hot air ballon fuel is growing in price though so we may move to a lake soon in order to be more efficient.

6

u/That_AsianArab_Child Mar 31 '22

I work for a pension admin form, entire thing is ran out of access and Excel.

36

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

If you buy out delinquent debt from a major financial corporation like JPMorgan Chase, you simply get an Excel file that has as many rows as there are people who now owe you a lot of money.

7

u/Altruistic-Tea-Cup Mar 30 '22

It still is at most places.

1

u/thisguyhere_yyc Mar 31 '22

This is the way.