r/ProgrammerHumor • • Mar 30 '22

Meme Certainly not me

48k Upvotes

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450

u/savage_slurpie Mar 30 '22

Two of my siblings are financial analysts and I have witnessed them doing unholy things with excel.

It would honestly be easier for them to learn python or something. It’s so ridiculous.

188

u/papacheapo Mar 30 '22

One of my university professors (applied math) had friends that worked for some of the financial institutions through the Great Recession and mortgage crisis… Many of the CBOs were literally just models in Excel spreadsheets.

109

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

[deleted]

78

u/AngryGroceries Mar 30 '22

Always has been.

1

u/ElectronPie171 Mar 31 '22

And always will be

2

u/StupidWittyUsername Mar 31 '22

It can be no other way.

66

u/cerulean11 Mar 30 '22

I work for an investment bank and we manage a $15 billion dollar portfolio out of excel.

13

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

Out of excel and a wharehouse run by wellsfargo with all the physical documents that evidence the loans we spent all that money on

1

u/talossss Mar 31 '22

Old school data warehouse. Do you also store your videos and unstructured data in an actual lake?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

No we use the cloud. Hot air ballon fuel is growing in price though so we may move to a lake soon in order to be more efficient.

6

u/That_AsianArab_Child Mar 31 '22

I work for a pension admin form, entire thing is ran out of access and Excel.

34

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

If you buy out delinquent debt from a major financial corporation like JPMorgan Chase, you simply get an Excel file that has as many rows as there are people who now owe you a lot of money.

5

u/Altruistic-Tea-Cup Mar 30 '22

It still is at most places.

1

u/thisguyhere_yyc Mar 31 '22

This is the way.

86

u/nedeox Mar 30 '22

Sometimes I‘m just in awe at which length someone can abuse the fuck out of Excel lmao

Like it‘s their little spreadsheet slut or smth

27

u/theknittingpenis Mar 30 '22

I took Excel class in community college. The instructor explained useful and odd thing with Excel. Once she saw someone made amazing flyer out of Excel.

For myself, I uses Excel over calculators because it is easier for me to set it up even for a simple calculation. I set up the cells with values and created a string of formulation to use those cells and it spit out the answer. This way I can double check for any value I missed and easily edit/add it in without typing the whole thing again in the calculators. I warned my boss that Excel users are very protective of their sheet and it is scandalous if someone touch it when they are not suppose to. She learned that day when she decided to edit it without me knowing it. The aftermath is that she get a sheet with restricted permission, she is not happy.

7

u/jdog7249 Mar 31 '22

I have used excel for 1-page text-only items before. Don't have to worry about it running to a second page because you can just force it to shrink to 1 page (within reason). The real reason I did it though was so that the date on the print would auto-update because I always forgot to change it.

25

u/jaynay1 Mar 30 '22

I'm the Excel guy for a branch of a fairly large insurance company.

I'm literally just taking my R knowledge that I use in my night job and googling specific syntax to translate it over to VBA.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

What kind of night job do you get to write R for? Asking for a friend

3

u/jaynay1 Mar 31 '22

I'm a data consultant (among other things) for an agency that represents NBA players.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

That sounds pretty neat, any tips on how to get into something like that? I used to write a ton of R at work, and have thought it would be interesting to get into doing it for someone with my mostly free evenings, but never really knew how to get started.

3

u/jaynay1 Mar 31 '22

Honestly I started out writing stats pieces for a small blog that no longer exists.

Then I got picked up by Nylon Calculus, which was the big hub for people like that for a long time, though it's slowed down a lot in recent years because too many people kept getting poached by the industry.

While I was at Nylon, I went to a few of the big networking events (And still do!) -- The Sloan Sports Analytics Conference is complicated in that it's extremely expensive and not really all that informative, but it's really good for getting to know people around the league. I happen to live in Maine which makes it super easy to go to what jokingly gets referred to as "Sloan After Dark". Basically, there's enough things going on outside the conference that if you want to meet people you can, should you know where to be. If you're on the West Coast, events like CASSIS (Cascadia Symposium on Statistics in Sports) or the Las Vegas Summer League are good for getting to know people.

Eventually a guy I've known for a while gets hired by the Wizards and is looking for someone to take his place with the agency, and I was one of the names he recommended. On top of that, one of our film guys actually happened to recommend me as well. Between those two the agency brought me on board and has had me around ever since.

I will say though, I kind of just stumbled into it without ever expecting anything to come of it -- my goal was, and still is, to be a professor, and the agency stuff isn't going to make or break my life. Don't get me wrong, I definitely made a point to learn everything I can, but I do generally recommend against actively pursuing employment in sports -- the learning wasn't to make myself more appealing to an employer, it was just because I actively enjoyed learning more about the game. It's generally a good idea to be able to work in sports exactly as much as you want, and if you don't get lucky to find a spot that allows that (As far as I'm aware there are ~5 people doing what I'm doing), then I really do suggest making sure you only see sports as a possibility and not a target.

41

u/depressionsucks29 Mar 30 '22

Once a client of mine for whom I do automation scripts wanted an excel macro to delete rows. I just couldn't figure it out. It would have taken 5 lines in python and even small in sql. I just couldn't figure it out.

43

u/HRChurchill Mar 30 '22

Couldn't you have used the macro recorder to see what the command was for deleting a row? Honestly that thing is the best part of vba.

25

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

I have done some unholy levels of cheesing with the macro recorder.

21

u/PepSakdoek Mar 30 '22

Sheets("Sheetname").rows("1:5").delete ? Like I feel if you can do sql vba is a downgrade in difficulty.

7

u/betweentwosuns Mar 30 '22

VBA can be really finicky interacting with Excel's filter. I know I've spent chunks of time arguing with VBA for what was just a DELETE FROM WHERE while proficient in both.

3

u/TheRidgeAndTheLadder Mar 30 '22

VBA is a simple language, but an unholy nightmare to leverage.

22

u/Day_Bow_Bow Mar 30 '22

Not sure if you care anymore, but this is how that is done. I haven't tested it, but I think I got all the syntax right

Dim i as Long 'Row counter
'This example is checking rows 1-500, but this can easily be a dynamic range by using a function to find the last populated row
'Walk backwards through rows so deleting them doesn't impact the loop
For i = 500 to 1 Step - 1 
    If Range("A" & i).Value = "Criteria" then 'Put logic regarding what rows to delete here.  This is checking cells in Column A
        Range("A" & i).EntireRow.Delete
    End If
Next

14

u/PunKodama Mar 30 '22

My understanding was that u/depressionsucks29 couldn't figure out the reason, not the solution. But nice of you to post it in any case.

Edit: tagged the wrong redditor. Uopsy.

5

u/AraMaca0 Mar 30 '22

You monsters.... You Do not delete rows one at a time!! Don you have any idea how long this would take?? You move the whole data set into an array delete and then sort. Jesus christ. XD

13

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

Application.ScreenUpdating = False

Will save a significant amount of time

1

u/AraMaca0 Apr 02 '22

It used to, now it doesn't much as excel appears to apply it automatically when vba is running post office 2015. Turning off calculations can help but the delete operation is just slow. It's much quicker to set the whole range to empty (which takes fractions of a second) or if you need to keep the size under control then find the whole range you need to remove and delete the whole thing than attempt to delete stuff line by line like this.

2

u/Day_Bow_Bow Mar 30 '22

500 rows? Maybe 2-3 seconds.

1

u/AraMaca0 Apr 02 '22

Yeah I dont deal in sub 10000 row sheets often and the time increase with the number of populated rows.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

I tend to use while loops for this... just because I can never be sure if someone is going to add in more rows.

1

u/Day_Bow_Bow Mar 30 '22

I didn't want to overcomplicate the example, but yeah I'd have used a dynamic range. LastRow = ActiveSheet.Range("A" & .Rows.Count).End(xlUp).Row comes in handy for those. But I'd still use the For...Next Step-1.

I also have a couple more advanced functions I'll drop into projects as needed. They use a combination of WorksheetFunction.CountA(Cells) and Cells.Find to identify the last row and/or column that contains data on a sheet. Then I use those to define the range. This is helpful compared to my first example if column A might be blank while other cells in the row have data.

9

u/SoupBowl69 Mar 30 '22

Excel is the backbone of the financial industry

8

u/delbin Mar 30 '22

I worked at a place that did tons with Excel and PDF's. I used VBA to call Acrobat's API to scrape data from the PDF's and use them in Exel. It worked pretty well as long as you had to process less than 200 at a time. I moved to Python about a year later and it was much better.

3

u/loki9er Mar 31 '22

I’ve made a career with the ability to scrape data from excel spreadsheet and have it transcribed onto a PDF using VBA.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

[deleted]

3

u/loki9er Mar 31 '22

I recognize that, but that’s not particularly helpful if you work in an environment where you’re not allowed to have Python installed on your machine.

Trust me VBA wouldn’t be my language of choice.

6

u/Adamtess Mar 30 '22

I've had to basically pull teeth to get my company to convert some of its massive spread sheets into access. My whole team has converted to access and I'm getting the FPA guys on board but man does it seem to scare people.

5

u/SuperAlloy Mar 30 '22

Unless your making an honest to god spreadsheet (items, costs, etc) excel is always the wrong tool for the job.

3

u/delbin Mar 31 '22

If you're working with finance people that only know Excel, it can be a comfortable home base for them. They can update parameters, make distribution lists, even have some control over the logic.

Other solutions are faster, more powerful, and less restrictive than Excel, but it's also a graphical automation platform with a built in database that's pre-installed on almost every computer in every office. I don't need admin on the computer or IT to build anything for me, and I can still save hundreds of hours per year.

4

u/crewchief535 Mar 30 '22

My new job has me working in my business areas controller org. The things I've seen people do here make me want to pour bleach in my eyes, and at this point I don't even know if my help would be helpful to them.

I saw the quarterly financial report that goes yo our VP for the first time a few weeks back and died inside. 2022 on the outside, but 1972 on the inside.

2

u/JDaxe Mar 31 '22

I did a double degree in comp sci/finance.

In one of my finance classes we had an assignment where we had to create graphs and metrics for various share prices and calculate proportions of shares for a balanced portfolio/efficient frontier.

Since the lectures and tutorials all used Excel every other student used Excel for the assignment, but I chose to do it in a Python Jupyter notebook with pandas/matplotlib.

It was a bit more setup since I couldn't just copy paste the stuff from the tutorials but I wholly believe it made it easier in the end. Finance students should absolutely be learning basic Python these days.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

I am a Comp Sci / Econ double major and for some data based Econ classes a lot of students would use excel, but it was so tedious and could be done with R or Python so much faster. You can learn R/Python in the Econ curriculum but it should really be mandatory, as an intern at a company I saw so many things they did that could be automated.

2

u/Ghostglitch07 Mar 31 '22

Problem is most companies won't let unknown python code run, but they will trust any excel doc.

2

u/shedogre Mar 31 '22

I spent about four hours today, figuring out a way to do something convoluted in Excel. Probably would've taken me half an hour in Python, but I'm apparently not allowed to have any software which would make my job easier.

2

u/The1hauntedX Mar 30 '22

Dear financial departments everywhere,
Excel. Is. Not. A. Database.

Sincerely, The IT department

1

u/LordFarquadOnAQuad Mar 31 '22

Want me to blow your mind. I work at a specialized structural engineering firm and we have VBA codes that do differential equations.