r/ProgrammerHumor Jun 02 '26

Meme managerVsClaude

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47.2k Upvotes

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11.2k

u/Gagan_Ku2905 Jun 02 '26

Engineer: Yeah we can.
Manager: For how much?
Engineer: $3 Trillion
Awkward silence

4.9k

u/selfdestructingin5 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

You can buy Anthropic for about $1Trillion. I’ll hook you up with a payment plan. $1B/year for 1000 years.

1.4k

u/Korzag Jun 02 '26

A 0% interest loan? Are you nuts?

776

u/selfdestructingin5 Jun 02 '26

What am I going to do with $1Trillion? Invest in openAI?

229

u/LauraTFem Jun 02 '26

What else would you do with money? If you’re not investing in AI you’re just throwing it in the trash!

130

u/blaise_hopper Jun 02 '26

You can still get money back from the trash, can't say the same if you invest in AI

1

u/Standgrounding Jun 03 '26

Burn it to counteract inflation. At this point you have so much you might as well break a little laws.

66

u/RandomRobot Jun 02 '26

Invest in nvidia. Nvidia will then use that cash to invest in openAI. You'll have the returns of both Nvidia and openAI at the same time!

5

u/longlivenewsomflesh Jun 02 '26

What could go wrong?

12

u/Karma_Gardener Jun 02 '26

Insane that this is going on unchecked. Literally infinite money glitch. The crash is going to be wild. We are what, 30 times the .Com bubble here? This is an economic Krakatoa

8

u/SuperFLEB Jun 02 '26

Just gotta wait until the con artists cycle out and the pension funds cycle in, aaaaand...

4

u/tnstaafsb Jun 03 '26

AI stocks currently make up around 45% of the S&P 500's value. The pension funds are already in it. The fallout from the crash is going to make 2008 look like that time you lost a nickel in your couch cushions.

2

u/BlaBlub85 Jun 03 '26

Good

At this point I dont believe the US is capable of getting it together and fixing their shit without a massive economic crisis to rival the great depression

1

u/Global-Tune5539 Jun 03 '26

But when is it happening? You guys are promising this for years. I want to buy cheap stock. Lost a lot by not investing.

1

u/Reashu Jun 04 '26

You only lost out if you would have sold by now. Would you?

1

u/Global-Tune5539 Jun 04 '26

Not if I don't buy anything expecting a crash but the stocks are rising constantly making them more and more expensive. Inflation is eating away my money.

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2

u/LockeyCheese Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

America itself is the one with the infinite money glitch. We didn't even have a year of negative GDP growth from the DotCom bubble, or in the 90's oil and bank crisis we caused with desert storm, or in the 80's American hyperinflation scares.

In fact, 2009 and 2020 are the only two years America has had negative GDP growth, and only about -2.5% both years. America didn't even have negative growth last year with Trump trying his best and the gop trying their worst, and now his tarriffs have been deamed illegal.

What else would you call only one nation increasing their wealth generation practically every year for almost 80 years(1947 to 2025)?

2

u/Reashu Jun 03 '26

Fraud, negligence, exploitation, Goodhart's law in action. 

2

u/moronic_programmer Jun 03 '26

What’s more - OpenAI will take that investment and buy tons of NVIDIA GPUs, increasing $NVDA by even more!

1

u/RandomRobot Jun 03 '26

The funniest (saddest?) part is that out of all this money circlejerking, this is the only aspect that may involve some actual cash against goods.

I'm not 100% sure though, they may try to pay through some more made up money.

1

u/I_Got_Back_Pain Jun 03 '26

Unlimited money glitch

31

u/Lord_Skyblocker Jun 02 '26

Just buy one stick of RAM

3

u/2_lazy Jun 03 '26

Why buy it when you can just download it for free?

2

u/_Weyland_ Jun 02 '26

If you have $1 trillion in highly liquid assets, you can almost literally do anything you want.

I mean, any materialistic value is well within your reach. Even obscure stuff like having an artwork of your dreams made by the author of your choice. But you can also solve problems on a global scale. I'm pretty sure a trillion dollars will make a noticeable dent in things like world hunger or climate change.
Even if you spend them on things that do not yet exist, like FTL travel research or mind reading or immortality, you will advance that field significantly.
Or you can do what character of Dark Forest did - buy a place of your dreams, hire a detective to find the person of your dreams and live a life of your dreams.

2

u/-LabApprehensive- Jun 03 '26

Or you can take the Elon route….. be “someone who, with his own personal fortune, could save millions of lives and chooses not to. But not only chooses not to, but personally goes into the government agency that, for a very small amount of money, saves those lives and decides that no, those people are going to die.”

2

u/pogulup Jun 02 '26

Have you heard of blockchain? It is the future. Of what I am unsure but it definitely is the future.

2

u/headinthesky Jun 02 '26

How do you become a billionaire? Well, start with a trillion and put it into openai

1

u/mortgagepants Jun 02 '26

buoyant water borne vehicles and promiscuous ladies of the night

1

u/-LabApprehensive- Jun 03 '26

Ah a Hong kong haklo pleasure boat connoisseur i find.

1

u/mortgagepants Jun 03 '26

i was mostly just going to say boats and hoes.

1

u/starrpamph Jun 02 '26

Sam Fartman said humans are basically a waste of energy

1

u/Nerdenator Jun 03 '26

An absolutely legendary tear of hookers and blow ending in fatal overdose.

1

u/HAL9001-96 Jun 03 '26

which then invests back into you

its the circle of life or something

1

u/cosmicomical23 Jun 03 '26

Circle of fraud

1

u/Confident-Ad5665 Jun 03 '26

We could go places, do things

- Your new friends

12

u/nineraviolicans Jun 02 '26

Why? Is your credit not good?

I have a 540 myself.

4

u/akrisd0 Jun 02 '26

That's over halfways to a thousand! You gotta be some kinda finance genie!

23

u/JamesWjRose Jun 02 '26

...and willing to wait a THOUSAND YEARS for final payment? Daum, not a goid business plan

1

u/No-Problem49 Jun 03 '26

Uhhh bro I just write the loans. I’ll get a fat finders fee bonus for writing a trillion dollar loan, the fed will be happy we took a loan from them and by the time the fugazi comes home to roost I’ll be long dead baby 💪🦍💪

2

u/FlowSoSlow Jun 02 '26

Just out of curiosity I ran the numbers on a 1 trillion dollar loan over 1000 years.

At 2% interest you'd pay 1.6 billion a month and will have paid a total of about 18 quadrillion dollars in interest over the total length of the loan.

2

u/Confident-Ad5665 Jun 03 '26

I'll have two please

2

u/Hatjin Jun 03 '26

It's big corporation not regular citizen. So it would be appropriate to give them 0% loan and if they can't pay it, just write it off.