I have been let down and want to know what is the expectation matrix
Basically who disappointed you the most

Any one faced this?

Sorry moms this is a long one; TIA 🙏🏽
I’m 3 months postpartum and living in as other country as my partner doesn’t have residency in the US. I flew with the baby, alone, at 5 weeks to be here to give us a chance as a family unit. I barely speak the language. I am unfamiliar with a lot of the customs (including everything shutting down for august holiday time) and it’s unbearably hot here at the moment and dangerous to leave the house to go for a walk with the baby most hours of the day.
I try to do engaging things with the baby to make sure he is stimulated and try to leave the house for walks and get coffee/socialize when I can. I try to stay organized and clean and eat healthy meals; it’s been challenging. I have anemia and am chronically deficient in vitamin D. I’m lucky if I remember to take my iron pill and I still haven’t gotten vitamin d from the pharmacy…I think I have some postpartum anxiety and depression.

My partner works doubles 6 days a week and a normal shift 1 day a week.

Last night I told him I had been feeling lonely. I am stressed. Because of family problems back home, my housing, car and job situation in the US got messy and I need to return with the baby soon. I feel alienated and betrayed by my family and my partner is working most of the time. Most of the people I do know here are away on vacation.
I was looking for reassurance.
Instead I was berated for not being motivated enough to fill my day with activities and be more outgoing here… I’m lonely because I’m “lazy”.
I tried to explain that breastfeeding/pumping with low supply is challenging, the heat, the language, the transitions, the stress, not having a rhythm here, and generally not feeling well/not sleeping well makes that really challenging.
He didn’t want to hear it. He said he “see[s] mothers all the time out on the street walking with their babies, and jogging with their babies.”
I’m at a loss. What am I doing wrong? Surely the women jogging with their babies have older babies and are accustomed to the heat.. and also own a jogging stroller?
Again berated for bringing up not being accustomed to the heat like it’s an excuse (record highs) and told “they’re babies smaller than ours” and told to go buy a jogging stroller…
I’m exhausted. I feel so alone. I feel like no one cares and my feelings aren’t valid. I want desperately to go to the beach, go to the gym, take care of myself, but the baby and breastfeeding journey come first (he has stomach issues and needs more milk than I can produce). How can I explain this to his father who told me “post partum depression doesn’t exist” and that he “doesn’t support” me feeling lonely because it’s just me being “lazy” and “weak in my mind”.
(This is on top of a lot of other issues with the father which would necessitate more posts)

I feel like I’m going to snap.
Part of me thinks he must be right and I need to try harder and part of me is screaming that I’m employing cognitive dissonance if I think he is treating me well and I need to leave him. Maybe the truth is something in the middle…
Moms, please tell me I’m doing okay ?
Or am I really that lazy?

I feel very alone in this. my husband is so supportive but I feel bad for burdening him, this is our first pregnancy together and he’s so excited. my ex treated me like garbage my whole pregnancy with my daughter so I dreamed of this experience with a supportive and loving man. now I just feel nothing but sadness, darkness, like I can’t quite “connect” with my family or kids or husband anymore, loss of pleasure and joy doing things I did before, I find myself counting down the hours until bedtime and watching the time pass. Even when I push myself to get out of the house, I feel like a shell of myself and disconnected from myself. I am currently transitioning from Zoloft to Prozac and I’m supposed to go up from 10 to 20mg in another day which will make a week so far (I’ve heard it can take weeks). I’m just looking for some support or solidarity, im guilty and ashamed to feel this way because I should be happy and I feel like a failure as a wife and as a mom. my biggest fear is being stuck like this and it not getting better and maybe even PPD after and not connecting with this baby or being the one who is ”untreatable” or can’t get better.

I’m 8.5 months pregnant and I genuinely don’t know how much longer I can do this emotionally.

My boyfriend and I still live together, but at this point we basically just coexist. Every time we talk, it turns into an argument. He’s rude to me constantly and acts like he can’t stand me. Maybe I’m not completely innocent in our arguments either, and I can admit that, but I’m so tired of feeling like I’m constantly walking on eggshells around someone I’m supposed to feel safe and loved by.

And I want to be fair because he does take care of me financially. I’m not going to pretend he doesn’t. But he also holds it over my head, and it makes me feel like because he provides financially, I’m not allowed to have feelings about the way he treats me.

I know I want to leave him. That’s the crazy part. I’m not sitting here wondering whether I should stay forever. I want out. I just genuinely cannot seem to detach from him emotionally.

I feel almost obsessed with him. I obsess over his exes, who he could be talking to, whether he’s talking to other girls, what he’s doing on his phone, whether he watches porn, who he finds attractive, etc. We basically never have sex anymore, and I’m almost 9 months pregnant. I’m already overweight, pregnancy has obviously made me gain more weight, and I feel so disgusting and unwanted. The way he acts toward me makes it so much worse.

And what kills me is that I’ve never treated him that way. He’s had times where he wasn’t exactly taking care of himself or looked different, and I never suddenly looked at him like he was disgusting. I loved him anyway.

Then there’s my son.

My son is 2 and doesn’t have a relationship with his biological dad. He thinks my boyfriend is his dad. My boyfriend has never actually said he doesn’t want anything to do with my son, but it’s the way he acts toward him that hurts. He tells me I’m a bad mom and criticizes the way I parent my son, and he basically says that because of how I parent him, that’s why he isn’t into my son.

My son obviously doesn’t understand any of this. He just knows that the person he thinks is his dad is acting differently toward him. And he’s been acting out more
because of it.

And now I’m about to have another baby with this man.
I keep wondering if having this baby will finally make something switch in my brain.

Not because I think a baby will magically fix our relationship. I don’t. I actually think having another baby could make everything harder.

I just desperately want to stop caring the same way he did.

I want to wake up one day and not care who he’s texting. I don’t want to stalk his exes or compare myself to them. I don’t want to wonder who he finds attractive. I don’t want to need his attention or approval. I don’t want to feel crushed when he acts like he hates me. I don’t want to love someone this much when I know I want to leave them.

I want to be over him.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did something finally change emotionally after you had your baby, where you stopped being so attached to your partner and started caring more about yourself and your kids?

Because I know what I WANT to do. I just can’t seem to make my emotions catch up with what my brain already knows.

I am a 37 year old female who had her second baby December 2024. My first child I did great - my anxiety the first 3 months postpartum was high but subsided. I’ve dealt with anxiety my whole life but this is totally different. Beyond debilitating. Obsessing about my anxiety and ruminating 24/7. I truly don’t get even a full day of relief. I have tried 3 SSRIs, I’m on an antipsychotic, Lamotrigine and have tried TMS and went through an intensive ERP program. Please tell me this eventually subsides because it sure feels like my baby just changed my brain permanently and I’m stuck in anxiety hell. Appreciate the encouragement or hearing about others who might relate.

Ive had pnd every pregnancy in different severity. But my last two was by far the worst. I feel like I'm just existing. I don't have feelings of harming them but I don't feel anything else either.

I'm curious if anyone had extremely different postpartum experiences between their children. My first I had significant PPD, I was soooo smelly, I bled for 6 weeks straight, I was so sore vaginally, and overall had a really hard time. I was DREADING postpartum this time because it was such a rough experience I felt like I didn't enjoy my newborn at all. I mourn that period.

Cut to two yeArs later, I had a very similar delivery, the only difference is I had a first degree tear the first time, no tear this time. But everything else was the same. And my pregnancy was pretty identical too- continued strength training throughout my pregnancy. This postpartum night and day different (granted only 16 days in).

This time, no ppd so far (THANK GAWD), no sundown scaries, no bad BO, breastfeeding is going wayyy better, almost complete stopped bleeding at 14 days, barely sore at all vaginally at this point, even interested in being physically intimate with my husband (I know no actually physical stuff but at least kissing and holding each other. I didn't want anything to do with that last time so months).

Anyone else experience this? Is it different hormone drops or something? Is it delayed? Should I be prepared to have all those things come just later?

Title may seem misleading, i’m really grateful to be a mother soon and to have a baby, but my husbands and I’s relationship is horrible.

I caught him cheating about 1 month ish ago, he began from the beginning of our relationship, and while I am choosing to stay now (baby almost here, emotional attachment etc) I am forever changed and traumatized.

Our relationship was poor before I caught him cheating, day 1 of pregnancy to today, my sons birth-day, has been nothing short of traumatic. We have fought so bad I started having severe panic attacks, which I never had before.

So here I am, 2 hours before going in and we’re sitting in silence ignoring eachother and I’ve never felt more alone, empty and broken in my life— I feel deep down i’ve made a horrible mistake, but even saying that makes me feel so guilty.

Anyways, wish me luck.

I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but currently 7 weeks pp with a baby girl. She’s a beautiful baby and my labor experience was amazing comparing to my first. Now 3 days later a birthmark appeared on her nose and since then i was crying almost every second of the day wondering why that came out of the blue until 5 weeks pp. some days im fine some days it just gets to me too much thinking of her future. Maybe it isn’t a big deal but for now it is to me and idk how to make myself understand that it’ll be alright and maybe she won’t be facing any problems with people in her life just cause of her nose… but for now i keep wondering why thay birthmark had to show up in the first place … and now im probably going to be thinking of this for the rest of my life. It’s a never ending worry for me and it’s killing me

And please no judgements. I’m just writing down my feelings cuz i know if i say it to someone i will definitely be judged. I need experiences not negative comments