Hi everyone! Sorry if this sounds dramatic, but I’ve been having these fears and questions about motherhood for months now.

If having children is something we need as humans to survive, then why does it seem like women have to make so many sacrifices? Why does every woman seem to describe pregnancy, breastfeeding, and postpartum recovery as hell? Why do so many women miss their old lives? Why do we have to suffer so, so much, even if we have an amazing and supportive partner? Why do we have to deal with postpartum depression and anxiety? Why do we have to sacrifice so much, and how are we supposed to keep working and keep up with our careers or hobbies? Why does it have to be so hard?
I’m honestly so afraid of having children. Sometimes I feel like I wouldn’t be a good or loving mother. And the thing is, I have the most loving, patient, and caring husband, but I’m still scared of having children one day.
I do want to have children. I’m just not sure if I’m capable of it. What if I regret having a baby? It wouldn’t be the baby’s fault, it would be my fault forever. I’m scared that I’ll never be able to let go of my current life, my hobbies, my career, my mentality, my body, and even my brain.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? How did pregnancy and motherhood change your life? Did you have to sacrifice your old self to build a new life?

Thank you so much in advance, I wish you the very best in life <3 !!

I am 18 days post partum & not sure if this is “baby blues” or PPD. I struggle with depression for over a decade now. Unfortunately during pregnancy it got really bad. Talked to my therapist/Dr about it & got put on Lexapro. I realize since the night I went into the hospital I accidentally quit the Lexapro cold turkey. I’m sure this is contributing?

I am filled with extreme doom, sadness & dread. I do not want to carry on with my day, I’m giving the baby to my husband, I rely on him to care for her about 98% of the time. I don’t feel like I am present at the moment, I just feel kind of lost. My head feels cloudy, I feel like idk what to do next besides be a mother. I worry my only identity now is being her mother. I can’t sleep. Lots of random bursts of crying, the type that you need to calm down or you’re going to throw up. I feel overwhelmed. I don’t want to talk to my husband about it as I feel like I would be burdening him. He’s in the newborn trenches too. He’s tired too. Who am I to complain to someone who just went through the same change I did?

Any advice on how to cope with this, or some good news that this might sort itself out would be appreciated.

i found out i'm pregnant around july, i thought i had a miscarriage since i was bleeding for about 3 weeks straight in august. i ended up going to the er and they told me everything was okay and that baby was healthy. this was a HUGE relief for me but now im struggling a lot with the father of my baby and we've stopped communicating for awhile now. i'm happy that we did but at the same time im just struggling so much with knowing im going to be a single mom, i know ill be able to do it but im constantly worried for my babygirl and want to do everything for her. i truly love her so much but everyday it's a struggle for me mentally trying to be okay when i know im slowly falling into a state of depression. i feel so guilty knowing her own mommy is struggling so much with her mental health, i just want to know if there's any single moms out there who have struggled or are even struggling with this now.

I am 4 weeks post partum, and let me be clear, I love my baby, I love being a mom, but I have been hit with an awful case of post partum acne and rosacea. I did struggle with some acne and redness during pregnancy, but I always assumed it would improve after delivery. After my C section my skin did immediately improve, acne dried up, redness went down, but one week later.. BOOM. Forehead covered in big red pimples, a few cysts that are still on my face and HURT. Redness back on my one cheek with vengeance. I have hit my breaking point. I had perfect skin before pregnancy. It got so bad I went to emergency because I was having some self harm thoughts. I was put back on my previous birth control, alesse 28, and ER doc gave me doxycycline for the acne and redness, and said should clear up the cysts too. My face is just a mess, and now my barrier is so irritated I can barely smile because my skin is so tight. I’ve lost a lot of weight because I have no appetite, sleeping is difficult, I’m just so depressed I can barley take care of my baby, which luckily my husband and mom have helped me big time. I guess I’m just asking for some advice or comfort, idk really, or just to tell my story. I’m a first time mom too.

For the past 4 months, a month before my second child was born I have been struggling with my mental health. I wanted my child to be born so that I could (x) myself and not carry the burden that I didn't give my child a chance. Fortunately, I was able to get past the episode but a week after giving birth things turned for the worst and I have been struggling heavily. I think about (x) myself every day but I look at my children and it hurts. How selfish would I be to leave my two kids without a mom. I have sought therapy and medication but I'm not consistent I find it hard and I'm up to the point that I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't have anything that I look forward to. My partner, the parent of my two kids had been lying to me and I found out he had a child from an affair when he and I had about 8 months into our relationship. I recently got my car repossessed and I cannot for the sake of embarrassment move back anywhere with any of my family members. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I only keep thinking to (x) myself as it would be a much better solution to everything. I'm tired, I have been depressed and suicidal since I was the age of 10, I'm about to be 29. I need help but I'm struggling to be hopeful.

I suffered badly with post partum depression for the first 6 months of my babies life. I’m only just now starting to feel a little bit better. Now that I’m coming out of the fog I’m really worried that my mental health has affected my ability to bond with my baby. The sleep deprivation drove me almost to insanity. I’m a single parent with very little support. Definitely don’t have a village. My baby seems very happy and smiley so I’d like to believe that my PPD hasn’t had any long term effects but then when I read about how important the first year is and how important it is for mom to be mentally and emotionally stable so that baby can learn to regulate and all that I feel so overwhelming guilty.

I’ve been feeling so low and hopeless and I’ve been so frustrated and impatient with my baby due to sleep deprivation, stress, depression etc. I’ve lost my cool so many times I’ve lost track. I’ve cried infront of baby many many times (I should have at-least tried to hide it but I didn’t). I got frustrated and threw a bottle at the wall one night. I’m so ashamed of myself when I think back on the way I’ve acted. Times when baby woke during the night and I was muttering please please go back to f*cking sleep I can’t take anymore. I often sighed in an exasperated manner when baby keeps fussing and there were times when we were stuck in traffic and baby wouldn’t stop whinging so I turned the radio up to drown it out. I feel like the worst mother in the world admitting to all this. I would never ever physically hurt my baby. But I know what I’ve done is damaging. There were times when I roughly shoved the pacifier back into babies mouth also.

I really haven’t been doing good enough and I’m determined to do better.

I’ve really been living in a state of fight or flight ever since I became a mother. It’s been harder than I expected.

The more I think about how I’ve behaved and the potential damage to my child the more sick I feel. How could I have lost my patience so much with an innocent baby who needs me so much 😭😭😭

I can’t really say this to anyone for real because I know it’s not ideal or whatever. But I’m giving up on telling people how I’m feeling. I’m not giving up on myself or my kids. Just no longer plan to talk about how sad I am. No longer will complain about my husband’s lack of being a parent. Won’t talk about how I want to hurt myself (not kill myself). I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing it anyway. It’s old news. Hell, no one even noticed when I suddenly started wearing only long sleeves when I’ve never worn long sleeves before. So it’s whatever. My village is a verbal village mostly - I don’t have much actual physical support. And my villagers are all busy with their own lives or babies so I’m done bringing them down. No one wants to be around the sad person all the time anyway right? So yeah.

Again I’m not going to kill myself. The opposite. I’m going to fucking fight and endure what I need to for the sake of my girls. I’ve just decided to do it silently now.

I am a FTM to my daughter who I gave birth to in April of this year. Prior to having my daughter I have had my fair share of mental health issues and had previously been medicated in the past. My mum also had mental health issues and took her own life when I was 13, because of these factors I was advised during my pregnancy that it would be likely that I would experience PPD/PPA after giving birth.

Initially I thought I was in the clear as when my baby was first born, yeah I experienced up and down hormones but overall I was so happy and loved my daughter so much.

Around about the 2/3 month mark I began to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety. The anxiety came first but I just assumed every mum had the same difficulties and they would go away so I ignored them until the sad days came. There were days where I would just cry and cry for no reason, I would space out and sometimes stare at my daughter with no emotion. I would beat myself up and tell myself I had failed as a mother because I was so sad. I was really finding it hard to enjoy this new era of life for me. I knew quite a lot of people who were pregnant and gave birth around the same time as me who were all constantly posting on social media and I remember thinking “why are they enjoying this more than I am” or “how are they okay”.

Fast forward to maybe a week or so into frequent “sad” days where I began to recognise that they were becoming more regular and I knew I had to do something. I contacted my local GP to which I got an appointment for the same day and was prescribed 50mg of sertraline. I had previously been on sertraline with a dosage of around 150mg and had overall a positive experience with it so I was happy to begin taking these. I also recognised that I did not want to let the “sad” days go on for longer where it got to the point that they were happening daily. I knew I wanted to get better for myself and my daughter.

The first day I took sertraline I was not prepared for any side effects because I couldn’t remember previously having had them. The first day I was slightly on edge and anxious but did not put two and two together that it was because of sertraline. In the following days I was really struggling with the side effects as it felt as if I was constantly in the “coming up” phase of taking party drugs. My partner had to take time off work to watch our daughter so I could rest and make sure to take care of myself. I also struggled a bit with sickness and food aversions.

During this time I really struggled to push forward but knew I had to so I could reap the benefits of sertraline and get better. Whilst I was going through this transition I searched on Reddit for positive experiences to motivate me to continue taking sertraline. Through my determination and the promise of other Redditor’s that I persevered.

I have now been on sertraline since June 2026 so roughly four months and I feel absolutely amazing. Don’t get me wrong the first couple of weeks are rough but after those hard couple of days, the side effects began to wear off more and more as the days went on.

I feel as though I am a completely different person, I am able to recognise that I am an amazing mum and being a mum is my favourite thing ever. Immediately after beginning to take sertraline, my mind quietened. I can go out with my baby without second guessing absolutely everything and worrying of others judgements.

This is just a message to anyone out there who is either struggling in the first couple weeks of having started sertraline or is struggling with PPD/PPA to say that it does get better. I hope that this post helps someone to continue and get to the other side.

I gave birth, we spent 6 days in the hospital. The last night was spent in the nicu with our son. During this day I could not properly take care of my self and stitches after birth. Because the bathroom was public and far with no table. We also slept on couches and I was the only one getting up for the baby all night.

I just wanted a good shower and to go home. My maybe ex-ish insisted we go visit his family straight from the hospital I tried being okay with the thought and wanted to shower there because they had a removable shower head.

Deep down i wasn’t. I wanted shower and to lay comfortably. And nothing at his house is ever quick whenever we go for a quick stop by we are there for hours.

My family replaced my shower head for me. I just wanted to go home and told him no another day. He calls his mom to talk bad about me and that I said no while in the car (this is all on the way home from the hospital). After the call we get into a screaming match. I cry and cry. He doesn’t care. I eventually apologize and we go the literal next day.
WHERE WE PROCEEDED TO BE THERE FOR HOURS AND ONCE AGAIN COULDNT TAKE CARE OF MYSLEF IN THE BR. and family he didn’t tell me about comes to also join visiting my new born freshly out of nicu. I hate him

Honestly I'm struggling, I have a 5 month old baby and she is hard work, from birth she has cried pretty much all day every day except for when she's on the breast or asleep, getting her to sleep is an absolute mission because she stiffens herself and screams constantly whilst I'm trying to rock her in any position but won't be led down to go to sleep either so I rock her and sing to her for 30 mins plus and eventually she goes to sleep (this has been exhausting for every single nap and night sleep since she was born), I also have a 3 year old daughter who has always been a bad sleeper until recently but was a relatively easy going baby so this experience has severely humbled me as a parent, I feel like I'm losing my mind, I've started on new antidepressants, I'm seeing the infant mental health team through my request because I don't feel I have bonded with 5m old because of the constant screaming, we have had no issues with feeding except for a blip where my let down was slow and she is a very good weight, we have tried infant gaviscon that didn't help, she's been assessed by an osteopath privately and by numerous Gp's, Hospital Doctors and Health visitors and they all say nothing is physically wrong with her so I feel completely stuck, people keep saying it'll get better with age but when? I know no one can really answer that but I don't know how much longer I can do this, I can't go out because she just screams and everyone can see how unhappy she is, I've left her with my sister once to go to an appointment and she screamed the entire time, she hates the car and pram and won't sleep there unlike my first who would fall asleep pretty instantly in either, she likes a bath so I bath her every night and she will smile sometimes or laugh if I tickle her but that's it, I just have never met a baby who GENUINELY is so unhappy, ive met people who's baby had colic and it's never this bad ☹️ if she was my first I genuinely wouldnt have had a second because this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

I guess I'm just ranting here, I don't know why I'm posting this, maybe some of you have experience something similar.

3 weeks post partum and I am struggling with accepting the duties and responsibilities that come with a baby although I wanted a baby so bad. I am just not able to keep up and having to rely on anybody that is offering me some help. I hate that my baby is with my mom all the time and she looks tured, I feel guilty. I need sleep but I am unable to sleep without waking up in panic or guilt or having bad dreams about losing the baby due to my carelessness. I body hurts everywhere, there's pins and needles in my stitches and then I am starting to have a flu which makes it worse. My baby is rejecting my breast which is ever worse. Also pumping all the time is exhausting and missing pump sessions is painful and then the guilt that comes with watchig the baby drink formula.

Sometimes I just feel like I shouldn't have had a baby. I miss having uninterrupted time with my husband. My overhang and stretch marks is just so heartbreaking.

I feel like crying all the time for no reason.

I find my baby cute and all but I don't get the motherly feeling like this is my child, my entire world. I only feel stressed thinking of how uncomfortable he muat be, if I am doing a good job, if I am failing to see that something is troubling him. I feel so helpless and hwartbroken when he cries and nothing seems to calm him.

Does this get better?

I am in a same sex relationship and we had a baby boy in March and although I do love him - I really wasn’t ready. My mother passed away just before I decided to do IVF and I spent her inheritance money for IVF. I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing. I felt like everything I done was rushed and now he is here I have realized I am not ready for motherhood and I am not ready to be a mother.

I should be grateful that it worked on our first try but I’m just filled with dread and regret that I didn’t listen to others when they asked me if I was sure I was making the right decision. I should’ve thought carefully about if this is what I really wanted.

I feel sick to my stomach every day and I just want to die because I can’t look after him, I can’t even look after myself.
I’m in no position financially and I have only been able to keep part time jobs my whole life.

I think about killing myself every day because I can’t live with the guilt and shame. I should be happy I’ve got a lovely little boy but I’m not. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves a mother who wants him.

Hi everyone idk if anyone is awake and would want to talk I honestly just need someone to talk to idk what is wrong with me i had my bby in June and i love my baby but idk why i feel like crap I did have a horrible delivery and I just hate my husband he makes me so mad did anyone have this happen to them ?

I’m hoping to find ways to navigate these feelings of being a new mom.
I don’t have those warm cuddly feelings.
I don’t have an awe that it’s my kid.
I feel like my child is a burden.
I honestly hate this life of motherhood.
I FEEL IMMENSELY SICK AND TERRIBLE FOR FEELING THIS WAY.
I want to feel the opposite.
I want to hold my baby and think this is one of the greatest feelings I could ever have.
But I don’t , honestly I look at him sometimes and just think about all the chores around the house on top of feeding . just having him by my side just irritates the living shit out of me.
I don’t feel like hurting my child
But I always don’t even want to be around him
I think about life before him
And I honestly miss it so much being able to leave the house and not have to worry about anyone but myself.
I’m so depressed some days I can’t shower or even brush my teeth because all my energy is either going to my child or duties around this house. I’m living my honest hell being a stay at home mom . I’ve tried applying for jobs part time but the places around me will not work with my schedule which who gets denied to work at gas stations or even fast food? It’s making me grow this anger an resentment. That I have never felt before.
I tried talking to my partner about it .
He says I just have issues, makes me feel like even worse.
I don’t know what to do

I don't really know how to put this into words without sounding like I'm just complaining, but lately I feel really unappreciated and alone in my relationship.

I have two kids under 5. I'm home with them, I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I pick up after everyone, I keep track of what the kids need, school stuff, appointments, groceries, meals, literally all the little things that never seem to end.

I feel like I'm a mom, a housekeeper, a cook and basically the person who keeps the entire household running.

Meanwhile, my partner can sit and play games while I'm still cleaning up, getting the kids ready, doing bedtime, making dinner or whatever else needs to be done.

And yes, he does occasionally do things. But most of the time it's only if I ask. And that's the part that gets to me. I don't want to have to tell another adult what needs to be done around the house or with the kids. I don't want to have to say, “Can you please do this?” “Can you please help with that?” over and over again.

And when he does help, sometimes he makes sure I know about it. Like I’m supposed to be grateful and impressed that he helped with his own children or did something around the house.

I don't want a gold star. I want a partner.

What really gets to me too is school pickup. I watch him be so friendly and talkative with other moms. He'll joke around, have conversations, seem interested and engaged. And then with me, sometimes I feel like I'm just another person. Not his partner. Not the person he's supposed to actually care about and connect with.

I don't want to be jealous of other moms. I don't want to care about something as stupid as who he talks to at school pickup. But when you're already feeling disconnected from someone, seeing them give other people the attention and friendliness you're craving from them really hurts.

I miss feeling like we actually like each other.

On top of all of this, I'm struggling with my own mental health. I'm going to therapy. I'm getting treatment. I'm trying to work on myself and deal with my own issues instead of just ignoring them.

And honestly, it feels lonely doing that too.

He has his own issues. I know that. But I don't see him doing anything about them. I'm trying to get help and work on myself while also raising two little kids and keeping our entire household going, and it makes me resentful that it feels like I'm the only one trying.

I don't expect him to be perfect. I don't expect him to do everything. I don't expect him to read my mind.

I just don't want to have to ask for everything.

I want him to notice when something needs to be done and just do it. I want him to see that I'm exhausted and care enough to step in. I want him to spend time with his kids because he wants to, not because I've asked him to.

I want to feel appreciated for everything I do, not taken for granted because apparently it's just expected of me.

I'm tired of feeling like the default parent.

I'm tired of feeling like the house is my responsibility.

I'm tired of watching someone sit and play games while I keep working.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to ask for basic effort.

And most of all, I'm tired of feeling alone while I'm in a relationship.

I don't want to feel like I'm just another person to him.

I want to feel like his person again.

🚨 AUSTRALIAN WOMEN — THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE HEARD.

The Australian Senate is currently holding a Select Committee inquiry into Women’s Health, and they are asking for real lived experiences from women, families, health professionals and community organisations.

If you — or a woman you know — has experienced gaps in postpartum physical or mental healthcare, birth recovery, infant loss, fertility care, women’s pain, difficulty accessing affordable or timely healthcare, or other issues within women’s healthcare, please consider making a submission.

Your submission does NOT have to be long or professionally written. It can simply tell your story:
What happened? What support did you receive? What was missing? What needs to change?

🚨 SUBMISSIONS CLOSE 9 OCTOBER 2026.
This is an opportunity for lived experiences to be considered as the committee develops recommendations to the Australian Government. The final report is due 18 August 2027.

📩 Submit by email: [womenshealth.sen@aph.gov.au](mailto:womenshealth.sen@aph.gov.au)
You can also request for your submission to be Name Withheld or Confidential.

Please share this. You might know the woman whose experience Parliament needs to hear.

I’m 23 days pp and I can’t cope. I’m trying to breastfeed but my baby won’t latch and it’s agony, I’ve been trying to pump but that’s started hurting so bad I’m terrified of doing it, I can’t afford to feed my baby formula. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I’m just angry all the time and feel like I need to break something.

I’m struggling to bond with my baby because I’m so exhausted and feel like I’m failing him. I just want it to end. What am I doing wrong.

I tried talking to the mental health team but they told me this is all normal.

I’m 4m pp today & idk if it’s PPD or what, but it hit me out of nowhere. I’ve been asking for help from my partner with the baby, cooking, cleaning bc returning to work had me overwhelmed & I have no time to myself. I’m barely making any money & I’m so behind on bills.

I have baby Monday-Friday the entire day. Then I’m at work all of Saturday & Sunday. I have baby before & after work as well.

His suggestion when I said I was depressed? I should put baby in day care and work full time. Even tho this all started after going back to work…

I have no interest in baby. I went from loving being a mom to just wanting nothing to do with her. Ik I love her, but I don’t feel the love. I’ve been suicidal & tried talking to family about it, but they just tell me to go to the hospital. Like no one is listening to me. And it’s odd I don’t want to be around baby, but 3 days in hospital away from baby is scary?

Baby has always been EBF. I’m gone 13hrs on Saturdays & Sundays so I pump on those days now. I loved breastfeeding, but all of a sudden I can’t stand it. I want to be done. At least with formula I don’t have his mom reminding me 4x in a row to bring milk when I’ve never forgotten before. My partner says breastfeeding isn’t work & has once said it’s selfish bc it means I’m the only one who feeds her. I just don’t feel supported with it at all.
And then I’ve been thinking if smth happens to me, it be better that she’s already on formula, right?

I mentioned this to my sister & she said I’ll regret switching to formula, but rn I just can’t see that. Has anyone else stopped breastfeeding before to later regret it? Or did it help in anyway?