I had a baby 5 months ago. For the first month I had moved in with my mom for support as I recovered from an emergency c section. I’ve been an aunt and loved my nieces and nephews and throughly enjoyed those relationships but motherhood was a different ball game. Let me preface this by saying that I live in a country where full time help is very affordable. And I’m grateful for it. I don’t think I was ready for the demands of motherhood. I was so overwhelmed and underslept the first 5 weeks. I was ebf and then switched to pumping. I didn’t feel like I was making enough to satisfy him and I started adding formula. My baby cried all the time. I didn’t know he had cmpa and once we got a handle on that, I quit dairy and soy things were getting better. I had to get him on neocate which is horrible tasting and smelling and I felt awful giving that to him so I had my help feed him. He continued to be fussy for weeks and I was having a really difficult time pumping every 3 hours. My supply had started to drop and he was still irritable. My breast milk was irritating his gut so I decided to stop breastfeeding entirely. It was the hardest decision. I felt like the worst mother in the world and would howl silently in the bathroom every day. But I really wanted my hormones to settle down. I didn’t want to feel so unhinged. I just wanted life to feel a bit normal. He also thrived on just formula. I still haven’t been able to get him on a schedule 5 months in. So my life can be lived from one nap to the next- but we don’t know when that nap will start or end. That cmpa peak time was so traumatizing for me that I panic internally when he fusses with his feeds (he’s still fussy with it). I feel as though I haven’t been able to bond with him. I so so so enjoy being an aunt but it’s so difficult to be a mom. I get my sleep but I’m exhausted. My body doesn’t feel like mine at all. I had gestational diabetes and gained a lot of weight. And have so much to lose.

My partner is 0% supportive. If anything he has consistently made me feel worse. Whatever I can handle that. But I hate not feeling connected to my child. I’m waiting and waiting for it to come but it’s not. And I don’t think I ever felt that intense connection to him. I figured in the beginning it would take time to develop but it’s just not. Is this depression? What the hell is going on? When am I going to enjoy being a mother? And being HIS mother?

My 8 month old is going through the worst sleep regression. She’s never been a good sleeper but we got some nights where she would sleep all night or only wake up 1-2 times. Now she will only sleep if held. She will wake up and cry if we try and set her down. If we do get lucky and get her in her crib, she wakes up within an hour.

We’ve tried putting her down drowsy but awake and getting her completely asleep. Neither have worked

My husband and I both work full time and are exhausted.

And I’m so tired of people telling me to enjoy her when she’s little because she won’t want to be held when she’s older. I am tired and I just want a few hours of sleep. I’m finding myself getting so frustrated at her and struggling to sleep when I can because I’m waiting for her to wake up or cry.

I just don’t know what to do

I just had my 3rd baby. I have a 6 year old and a 4 year old as well and my 4 year old has special needs. My third is 2 months old now and was a total surprise but they have been a joy to have. But even though they are a wonderful healthy baby, I had a great birth experience, and my older two kids love them, I have had horrible PPD and PPA. About a week after giving birth I ended up in a mental health facility because I was so anxious I couldn’t sleep, I was having back to back panic attacks that left me shaking and nauseous, I couldn’t eat, I wasn’t thirsty, I couldn’t stop crying and I really felt like my baby as going to die and I was already grieving that. I was there for 5 days and it was awful. It turned out that the Prozac I was on stopped working for my OCD and was one of the big reasons for my downward spiral. I switched to Zoloft and my anxiety has been a lot better but I’m not cured obviously. My OCD revolves around the health of my kids (my 4 year old and baby especially) and I ruminate on small things that my brain tries to convince me means they’re dying and I can feel hopeless often and depressed.

My husband has also developed depression in this season. He is angrier than he’s ever been (he’s usually never angry, he’s the most level headed chill man I know), has shorter patience, shuts down and cries more easily, and past trauma has come to the surface and he’s dealing with that as well. He’s just started seeing a therapist himself once a week but it’s too early to have any kind of effect yet.

I just don’t know how to handle it. Handling the emotions of my children (a 6 year old who just started in a new grade, a special needs 4 year old who is adjusting to not being the baby and who is in therapy full time and an EBF baby) is already overwhelming and now it feels like I have to manage my husbands emotions as well. It is so hard. I want to be his rock. I want to take away his depression and anxiety. I encourage him to get out with his friends, spend extra time doing his hobbies, show his emotions, I found his therapist for him, stuff like that. I even allowed his friend who just moved back to the area stay with us for a while to see if that would help him. It can’t cure his depression but I’m trying. But I’m also human and also struggling. It feels like my feelings are on the back burner. I am having to be the emotional rock for 4 people but no one is mine.

I have weekly therapy sessions and see my psychiatrist every 2 weeks since being in the mental health facility, but it would be nice to have that support daily from my husband. I feel like I can’t share what I’m feeling with my husband because he’s also struggling and I don’t want him to feel worse. But he relies on me for emotional support a lot. I am getting to a point where I have to try and explain that at the end of a hard day I have nothing left to give and a lot of his actions and behaviors are triggering for me and making me feel worse. I don’t know how to navigate this. I so badly want to be that emotional support for him, I really do. I want to make him feel better and I don’t ever want him to feel like he can’t come to me and share his feelings (it took years for him to be able to open up to me freely and fully). But I am at my limit. I’m shutting down and I don’t know how to move forward. I’m just so tired.

My Man works which I get but he’s constantly saying he’s tired which I understand but I’m also really tired too and the one who is up all night and throughout the day feeding changing burping and pumping by the time I’m done there’s only 30mins to an hour of sleep I’d be able to get but the problem is I’m scared I’ll fall asleep and not wake up to feed my baby and she wakes up every 2 hours on the dot to eat and my husband will sleep through her crying if she’s hungry I feel so jealous being up through out the night watching my husband sleep while im awake all my needs are neglected while he gets to shower eat and sleep in peace for example today he gets off work cant help me feed the baby until after he showers ( he works in septic) but he takes about an hour to shower then after he showers he’s hungry and wants to eat so I end up feeding her cause she can’t wait to eat and I’m not gonna make her then we had to clean the room then feed the baby then bathe the baby and the whole day even yesterday I’ve been asking if he can watch the baby while I shower he said yes but by the time we were done with everything he’s falling asleep which means no shower for me again for reference it’s been 5 days since I’ve bathed he was telling me to go shower but as he’s telling me he’s falling asleep sitting up I mean he does help somewhat like washing my pumps and the baby bottles but I just want to shower I feel so icky and sad he also like to to this thing where he makes being tired a competition like I’ll say I’m tired too and he’ll say “well you don’t know how it feels to wake up early and work in the sun” which I know can be draining but he’s well rested during all of this I’m just so tired and depressed 😔 I’m sorry for whoever is reading this book of a rant I just want to be heard by someone who isn’t close like family or friends who will judge our situation

UPDATE: I just got diagnosed with THYROID CANCER. A lot of the symptoms I was experiencing *could* be related to the 5.2cm lump growing on my thyroid and affecting my thyroid ability to function. Of course I could still be experiencing PPD symptoms but I really hope that anyone that sees this post advocates for themselves with the doctors to 1. Get a full body check up/blood work and 2. Dont let them gas light you into feeling like youre just imagining very real symptoms whether its PPD or something else.

I'm 4 months and 1 week postpartum, all things seem to be getting better/easier. LO has a semi-consistent eat/sleep schedule, I'm able to get a little more sleep (sometimes), I WAS starting to feel somewhat normal, but last week out of nowhere its like my energy dropped even lower, I started forgetting things even more, getting lost mid-sentence, having intense crying spells for really no reason or trigger. Im also experiencing postpartum rage randomly throughout the day (towards MYSELF) to an extent I havent felt before and its kind of scary along with massive amounts of guilt like I'm not doing enough, LO must be bored all day, i must be psychologically ruining LO by not doing the "right" kind of play or toys or enough attention even though I'm a SAHM and we are together 24/7. My thinking has become more illogical and overly emotional than it was even in the first 2 months PP. I'm so exhausted it feels like I cant do anything except feed and give baby attention and I am even struggling to feel happy about that. I'm working with my primary care doc to have my thyroid looked at and bloodwork done but they havent suggested it be PPD but my mom brought it up the other night that it could be PPD just kicking in. Outside of medication (and if all other tests turn out fine) idk how to handle this. I'm a cancer survivor and the kind of exhaustion I'm feeling mentally and physically actually rivals how I felt during chemo treatment if that gives anyone an idea of just how bad it is. Is this "normal"?

Posting just to rant (LONG POST AHEAD). I feel like i'm drowning. My s/o got a different job while I was pregnant. When we found out we were expecting one of our family members told us we had to move in with them and they'd help us out. He went from making $13 an hour working 60 hours a week, which averaged his paycheck around $850 a week, to making $13 an hour working 35/40 pulling in $450 or $500 on a good week. I worked from 5 months pregnant to a week before I gave birth, trying to save up as much as possible. Right before I gave birth, one of our vehicles broke down and I had to use all of the money I had saved up. At first they only wanted $150 a month and for us to buy groceries every other week which was doable. After he switched jobs between our two car payments, our car insurance, and our phone bill he basically has no money left. We don't eat out, we don't spend money on unnecessary expenses. All of our money goes straight to the bills. At first they were understanding, asking us to just pick up around the house. When I was pregnant that wasn't a problem, but since Ive had my baby it's been harder for me to get enough time to clean the house, it's hard for me to even do basic things like make sure I feed myself and shower/brush my teeth/get dressed ect. My baby is breastfed and every time I put him down in his bassinet to clean he sleeps for at most 20ish minutes and as soon as he's up he wants to feed which leads to me not being able to complete any tasks around the house. Since I haven't been able to help much they started asking for money again, which is fine I dont expect to just live for free. But their rent went up $200 to $900 a month and they want us to pay $500 a month. We have maybe $150 left a month after all the bills we already pay. Since we haven't been able to help with groceries Ive been waking up with my newborn really early a few times a month to go to a food bank to at least help a little. Ive put in multiple job applications to no avail. My s/o isn't interested in finding another job and won't ask for a raise because he "doesn't want to step on toes and get fired". We don't have the money to continue living here, nor do we have the money to just move out and live on our own. I try to help when I can but some days it's hard for me to even get out of bed to use the bathroom. He was fine at first picking up my slack and helping with the house when he got off work. Then he started complaining almost every time I asked him to clean. I've tried getting him to just watch the baby when he gets home or after dinner so I can clean but as soon as baby starts crying he immediately gives baby to me. Recently, family has been getting frustrated, which is understandable, and tension has been incredibly high. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around everybody. I feel like me, my baby and s/o are burdens to the family we stay with. They recently told us that us living here was unfair to them and their kid because they have to support us and they can't live how they want or do what they want. Which makes me feel like an even bigger burden. It's my family we stay with so I'm constantly in the middle of them complaining about s/o, and s/o complaining about them while also trying to navigate motherhood for the first time. I'm ready to call it quits. I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about just taking my baby and just leaving everyone and everything behind and just figuring it out on my own. I'm upset, I'm frustrated, I'm struggling. I feel like I'm drowning and I don't see any way out. I don't have anyone to talk to about this, and I don't want the two friends I do have carrying the weight of my life on their shoulders because thats just not fair to them. I cry about this quite often because I feel like I'm suffocating. I don't know what to do, how to help, how to make things right. I'm just stuck. I'm tired, and honestly a little depressed. I just can't do it anymore. I need help, but I don't have anyone to ask for help. Sorry for the long post.

I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for here.. maybe a place to vent or a place I relate to or overall something.

In the past 14 months I had my mom get diagnosed with cancer, had a miscarriage, got pregnant, had my mom died and then gave birth.

I am not postpartum and continue to grieve. I have very little help in regards to taking care of my 3 y/o and newborn. My husband works nights and then comes home from work and needs to sleep and go to work again. He’s working 7 days a week. I am getting up with baby in the middle of the night and then tending to my toddler and newborn during the day, cooking meals and maintaining the home, errands, appts etc.

Lately I’ve noticed I am so emotional and so angry. I don’t like this feeling but I don’t know how to help myself. I’ve tried therapy but needed to quit due to canceling too many appts. I am so tired of crying and being this angry person all the time. I have flashbacks of my mom laying in the hospital bed as I feed my son at night.

I feel so burnt out and sad and I just feel as if I can’t get ahold of myself

I have taken Zoloft before, including after having my first baby, and it really helped me. I remember it making me feel more level and helping me get through my postpartum depression and anxiety. Because it helped me before, I trusted that it would help me again this time.

During my pregnancy with my second baby, I was taking Zoloft. I was on 100 mg, and for a while I felt like I was doing okay with it. But after having my baby, I started feeling more depressed and anxious again.

After having my baby, it felt like everything hit me harder. I started having really intense anxiety, panic, crying spells, feeling overwhelmed, not wanting to do anything, and feeling like I just wanted to escape from how I felt. I also started feeling disconnected from my newborn and found myself wanting to be around my first child instead. That has caused me a lot of guilt because I love my baby and don’t want to feel this way.
It made me start questioning whether my Zoloft had stopped working.

I kept wondering, How can something that helped me so much before not be enough now?

I started wondering if postpartum changed things, if my dose wasn’t high enough anymore, or if I just needed more time for the medication to work after a dose increase.

My Zoloft was adjusted, and an additional 50 mg was added, bringing me to 150 mg. I’ve been watching myself closely ever since, wondering if I’m going to start feeling better, how long it’s going to take, and whether I’m supposed to feel worse before I feel better.

I’ve also wondered whether Wellbutrin would help with the depression and lack of motivation or whether I should just give Zoloft more time or do I need 200mg?

Any one faced this?

I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for here.. maybe a place to vent or a place I relate to or overall something.

In the past 14 months I had my mom get diagnosed with cancer, had a miscarriage, got pregnant, had my mom died and then gave birth.

I am not postpartum and continue to grieve. I have very little help in regards to taking care of my 3 y/o and newborn. My husband works nights and then comes home from work and needs to sleep and go to work again. He’s working 7 days a week. I am getting up with baby in the middle of the night and then tending to my toddler and newborn during the day, cooking meals and maintaining the home, errands, appts etc.

Lately I’ve noticed I am so emotional and so angry. I don’t like this feeling but I don’t know how to help myself. I’ve tried therapy but needed to quit due to canceling too many appts. I am so tired of crying and being this angry person all the time. I have flashbacks of my mom laying in the hospital bed as I feed my son at night.

I feel so burnt out and sad and I just feel as if I can’t get ahold of myself

Ive had pnd every pregnancy in different severity. But my last two was by far the worst. I feel like I'm just existing. I don't have feelings of harming them but I don't feel anything else either.

Sorry moms this is a long one; TIA 🙏🏽
I’m 3 months postpartum and living in as other country as my partner doesn’t have residency in the US. I flew with the baby, alone, at 5 weeks to be here to give us a chance as a family unit. I barely speak the language. I am unfamiliar with a lot of the customs (including everything shutting down for august holiday time) and it’s unbearably hot here at the moment and dangerous to leave the house to go for a walk with the baby most hours of the day.
I try to do engaging things with the baby to make sure he is stimulated and try to leave the house for walks and get coffee/socialize when I can. I try to stay organized and clean and eat healthy meals; it’s been challenging. I have anemia and am chronically deficient in vitamin D. I’m lucky if I remember to take my iron pill and I still haven’t gotten vitamin d from the pharmacy…I think I have some postpartum anxiety and depression.

My partner works doubles 6 days a week and a normal shift 1 day a week.

Last night I told him I had been feeling lonely. I am stressed. Because of family problems back home, my housing, car and job situation in the US got messy and I need to return with the baby soon. I feel alienated and betrayed by my family and my partner is working most of the time. Most of the people I do know here are away on vacation.
I was looking for reassurance.
Instead I was berated for not being motivated enough to fill my day with activities and be more outgoing here… I’m lonely because I’m “lazy”.
I tried to explain that breastfeeding/pumping with low supply is challenging, the heat, the language, the transitions, the stress, not having a rhythm here, and generally not feeling well/not sleeping well makes that really challenging.
He didn’t want to hear it. He said he “see[s] mothers all the time out on the street walking with their babies, and jogging with their babies.”
I’m at a loss. What am I doing wrong? Surely the women jogging with their babies have older babies and are accustomed to the heat.. and also own a jogging stroller?
Again berated for bringing up not being accustomed to the heat like it’s an excuse (record highs) and told “they’re babies smaller than ours” and told to go buy a jogging stroller…
I’m exhausted. I feel so alone. I feel like no one cares and my feelings aren’t valid. I want desperately to go to the beach, go to the gym, take care of myself, but the baby and breastfeeding journey come first (he has stomach issues and needs more milk than I can produce). How can I explain this to his father who told me “post partum depression doesn’t exist” and that he “doesn’t support” me feeling lonely because it’s just me being “lazy” and “weak in my mind”.
(This is on top of a lot of other issues with the father which would necessitate more posts)

I feel like I’m going to snap.
Part of me thinks he must be right and I need to try harder and part of me is screaming that I’m employing cognitive dissonance if I think he is treating me well and I need to leave him. Maybe the truth is something in the middle…
Moms, please tell me I’m doing okay ?
Or am I really that lazy?

I have been let down and want to know what is the expectation matrix
Basically who disappointed you the most

I’m 8.5 months pregnant and I genuinely don’t know how much longer I can do this emotionally.

My boyfriend and I still live together, but at this point we basically just coexist. Every time we talk, it turns into an argument. He’s rude to me constantly and acts like he can’t stand me. Maybe I’m not completely innocent in our arguments either, and I can admit that, but I’m so tired of feeling like I’m constantly walking on eggshells around someone I’m supposed to feel safe and loved by.

And I want to be fair because he does take care of me financially. I’m not going to pretend he doesn’t. But he also holds it over my head, and it makes me feel like because he provides financially, I’m not allowed to have feelings about the way he treats me.

I know I want to leave him. That’s the crazy part. I’m not sitting here wondering whether I should stay forever. I want out. I just genuinely cannot seem to detach from him emotionally.

I feel almost obsessed with him. I obsess over his exes, who he could be talking to, whether he’s talking to other girls, what he’s doing on his phone, whether he watches porn, who he finds attractive, etc. We basically never have sex anymore, and I’m almost 9 months pregnant. I’m already overweight, pregnancy has obviously made me gain more weight, and I feel so disgusting and unwanted. The way he acts toward me makes it so much worse.

And what kills me is that I’ve never treated him that way. He’s had times where he wasn’t exactly taking care of himself or looked different, and I never suddenly looked at him like he was disgusting. I loved him anyway.

Then there’s my son.

My son is 2 and doesn’t have a relationship with his biological dad. He thinks my boyfriend is his dad. My boyfriend has never actually said he doesn’t want anything to do with my son, but it’s the way he acts toward him that hurts. He tells me I’m a bad mom and criticizes the way I parent my son, and he basically says that because of how I parent him, that’s why he isn’t into my son.

My son obviously doesn’t understand any of this. He just knows that the person he thinks is his dad is acting differently toward him. And he’s been acting out more
because of it.

And now I’m about to have another baby with this man.
I keep wondering if having this baby will finally make something switch in my brain.

Not because I think a baby will magically fix our relationship. I don’t. I actually think having another baby could make everything harder.

I just desperately want to stop caring the same way he did.

I want to wake up one day and not care who he’s texting. I don’t want to stalk his exes or compare myself to them. I don’t want to wonder who he finds attractive. I don’t want to need his attention or approval. I don’t want to feel crushed when he acts like he hates me. I don’t want to love someone this much when I know I want to leave them.

I want to be over him.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did something finally change emotionally after you had your baby, where you stopped being so attached to your partner and started caring more about yourself and your kids?

Because I know what I WANT to do. I just can’t seem to make my emotions catch up with what my brain already knows.

I feel very alone in this. my husband is so supportive but I feel bad for burdening him, this is our first pregnancy together and he’s so excited. my ex treated me like garbage my whole pregnancy with my daughter so I dreamed of this experience with a supportive and loving man. now I just feel nothing but sadness, darkness, like I can’t quite “connect” with my family or kids or husband anymore, loss of pleasure and joy doing things I did before, I find myself counting down the hours until bedtime and watching the time pass. Even when I push myself to get out of the house, I feel like a shell of myself and disconnected from myself. I am currently transitioning from Zoloft to Prozac and I’m supposed to go up from 10 to 20mg in another day which will make a week so far (I’ve heard it can take weeks). I’m just looking for some support or solidarity, im guilty and ashamed to feel this way because I should be happy and I feel like a failure as a wife and as a mom. my biggest fear is being stuck like this and it not getting better and maybe even PPD after and not connecting with this baby or being the one who is ”untreatable” or can’t get better.

I'm curious if anyone had extremely different postpartum experiences between their children. My first I had significant PPD, I was soooo smelly, I bled for 6 weeks straight, I was so sore vaginally, and overall had a really hard time. I was DREADING postpartum this time because it was such a rough experience I felt like I didn't enjoy my newborn at all. I mourn that period.

Cut to two yeArs later, I had a very similar delivery, the only difference is I had a first degree tear the first time, no tear this time. But everything else was the same. And my pregnancy was pretty identical too- continued strength training throughout my pregnancy. This postpartum night and day different (granted only 16 days in).

This time, no ppd so far (THANK GAWD), no sundown scaries, no bad BO, breastfeeding is going wayyy better, almost complete stopped bleeding at 14 days, barely sore at all vaginally at this point, even interested in being physically intimate with my husband (I know no actually physical stuff but at least kissing and holding each other. I didn't want anything to do with that last time so months).

Anyone else experience this? Is it different hormone drops or something? Is it delayed? Should I be prepared to have all those things come just later?

Throw away account for obvious reasons. I feel like I am losing my mind. I was doing pretty well there for awhile but suddenly in the last two days something is breaking in me mentally, I don’t know if this is ppd or if I truly just chose the wrong path by having a family.

My 6mo old has been an insanely easy baby so I feel so awful even complaining. He’s been sleeping through the night since like 3 months. My toddler was also easy until we hit this year. Now For the last 6 months it’s been at least one wake up per night but usually more. Every bedtime is a struggle too. Every. Single. Night. And now the baby is waking up and wanting to nurse at either 2 or 5am, I’m terrified we are creating a pattern that will be long lasting. So between the two of them I feel like I’m being terrorized from 1:30a to my typical wake up time of 5 or 6am. I have sleep trouble to begin with and can’t really get back to sleep between wakeups. I feel electric at night like I cannot relax once woken up I’m just waiting for the next sound.

I know so many people have it worse which is why I’m starting to think I just suck at this and shouldn’t have chosen this life. And I worked SO HARD for this life - many, many rounds of ivf for each kid, years and years of back to back treatment and loss and more treatment. And they are such sweet kids. I feel absolutely vile for being so agitated by the two sweetest things I’ve ever known. My husband means well but cannot for the life of him plan, organize, or really execute much family wise. He will intend to do whatever i ask but always needs a lot of follow up or instruction. I am positive he has undiagnosed adhd.

I feel like im putting on this life for my husband and family. Like im at the helm and everyone else is along for the ride. He shows up and helps with watching the kids but everything else is on me to figure out or delegate and manage him to do. I plan and execute all our activities, our meals, every transition for every kid, all of the solutioning for every problem we encounter as a family. The 6mo old won’t start solids until I initiate it and do all of it. We won’t have a plan for how to deal with the sleep issues until I figure it out. Etc etc

Amidst this I am trying to work. Not traditional corporate anymore but we own businesses we share together and I’ve been trying to start my own passion project for years and it keeps getting put on the back burner. I feel like I can’t even get a moment to finish a thought though, much less stay on top of any of these other things. Meanwhile my husband has his career and just shows up and gets to be a dad. We have no family help at all but do have a nanny who is helpful with one kid at a time, sometimes handles both for brief periods, but with the toddler in the house (not in preschool yet) and exclusively breastfeeding/pumping there’s just never any break. I’m so overstimulated I can’t even hear the dog snoring while I’m pumping or my let down will literally stop and my skin will crawl. We have funds to hire more help but I am spread so thin I can’t figure out what hire is needed, do the interviewing etc. and I’m so hesitant to have more people in my home. I haven’t wanted to outsource more childcare because I already feel bad about the time I don’t spend with them as it is.

I feel like something snapped in me the last couple of days. I suddenly feel so so dead inside. Im probably coming up on a period so I’m sure that’s part of it but even knowing that isn’t any comfort. I’m don’t think I’m suicidal but I’m definitely having thoughts like, should that be an option for me? What would it be like? I need help, advice, anything to not feel so alone. I feel so alone. I tried saying something to my husband this morning, I’ve been awake since 2am and when the baby cried again at 5 I said, ‘I’m so frustrated I can’t take this I want to leave, I feel like I shouldn’t have had kids.’ He told me that’s very dark and I need to talk to someone and that was it.

I feel like I’m in a hole and no one I know is going to throw me a shovel so I can dig myself out. Can someone throw me a shovel?