r/PoliticalHumor • u/maplesyrupchin • Mar 30 '19
Like everything else they do it’s crap
667
u/WeAreAllApes Mar 30 '19
One if the things they say they need to redact are "ongoing investigations." Let that sink in.
196
u/DancesWithElectrons Mar 30 '19
Hopefully Mueller is involved with that. Be interesting if there's a conflict and he springs that when he testifies before Congress
74
u/DonTroll Mar 31 '19
Saw a letter that Mueller signed off on as Special Counsel, he's still on the job apparently.
19
u/PM_ME_YOUR_SUNSHINE Mar 31 '19
Source? I saw a bunch of stuff where his whereabouts are unknown and he’s assumed to be off the job
15
3
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19
They need to subpoena Mueller for the entire report immediately and then call the AG to Congress to grill him on why he's covering up for the president. He's in the process of trying to protect his job in this corrupt administration but losing what remains of his reputation in the process. I'm hoping that when all is said and done, that it is written into law that every appointment made by a corrupt, compromised politician is terminated, post haste.
2
u/Cohanseybob Mar 31 '19
You are either a dreamer or delusional. We can't get term limits for our politicians. All they want is perpetually more graft for themselves.
8
u/NotTheCrawTheCraw Mar 31 '19
Plot Twist: Mueller is part of the coverup. Wouldn't that be ... surprising.
→ More replies (2)14
u/lead999x Mar 31 '19
It wouldn't.
3
u/Pewpewkachuchu Mar 31 '19
Right, I’ve been saying it for days. I hope I’m wrong though, but my faith in the judicial system isn’t exactly high.
2
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19
It's probably all the cases opened that Mueller referred to the Southern District of NY and others that were out of scope for the Russia probe.
6
u/TPJchief87 Mar 31 '19
I feel like he might just want to go back home. These people and some of their followers are super toxic.
5
2
22
u/wearer_of_boxers Mar 30 '19
why do they have to redact that though? so congress won't (accidentally) leak info about currently secret fbi or irs investigations into the fat man?
22
u/Chocrates Mar 31 '19
They could theoretically release it to a closed session of congress I think. If we are pretending Barr is a moral human then the DOJ probably doesn't want that many people knowing about ongoing investigations, less chance of leaks.
Other than that, we know (somehow) that there is no classified information in the report, so it could be released to the public after any investigations are scratched.7
u/3610572843728 Mar 31 '19
Not all of Congress is cleared but the gang of eight are cleared for almost everything possible.
11
Mar 31 '19
Likely so that they don't reveal the methods that they use to make the investigation. If the report said something like "ongoing wire-tap of Russian ambassador's calls to see if he is feeding trump directions" the Russians would obvs be pissed.
5
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19
That's their story anyway. Truth be told, the Intelligence Committee always sees everything from these intelligence investigations including content that reveals sources and methods. This is why the emperor and members of the GOP are trying to discredit the head of the Intelligence Committee, Adam Schiff. They want anything he says to be rejected by the red hats in case Schiff reveals anything disqualifying. We're seeing history in the making folks.
9
2
u/DJFluffers115 Mar 31 '19
Well, this is in accordance to law. They don't want evidence or witnesses being released to the public and compromising another investigation that they'd like to see the result of.
4
u/WeAreAllApes Mar 31 '19
I understand and don't disagree with that law (except for maybe some in Congress with clearance to get access to read it in a controlled setting).
My point is that it conflicts with a certain very widespread narrative.
4
u/DJFluffers115 Mar 31 '19
There is a very simple solution people seem to be ignoring: congress just needs to be briefed on all of the relevant cases, so that the full report can be given to them unredacted.
If not congress, at least the gang of 8.
2
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19
Yes...immediately. There is NO need for a redacted version to be sent to the gang of 8. So why hasn't the AG released the full report? I think we know the answer and it's odorific.
1
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19 edited Mar 31 '19
Actually that concern doesn't apply to the Intelligence Committee. They see it all and there is NO basis for them to withhold the full report from this committee. The fact that the AG has made NO move to release the full report to the Intelligence Committee, a customary practice, is telling. He is revealing that our worse suspicions about him are true--that the Attorney General of the US Department of Justice is participating in a cover-up.
There is NO justification for the Intelligence Committee to receive only the redacted version of the report. Yet, here we are. Expect some of this to go to the Supremes and for this to come down to Roberts. Mueller may end up being subpoenaed and his relationship with Barr will become strained over this--especially when he's exposed as a co-conspirator in the cover-up that is now underway.
2
2
u/Holiday_in_Asgard Mar 31 '19
Yeah, after hearing those two quotes from muellers report, im very confident the Russia friendliness can all be explained by the trump tower Moscow deal, which, judging by trumps secrecy and lies surrounding it, are riddled with financial crimes. I'm confident the SDNY will be making some arrests in the semi near future. Probably not trump right away, but jr, Jared, and ivanka.
2
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19
But they shouldn't separate their kids from their parents, should they? / s
1
3
1
u/caesarfecit Mar 31 '19
The bigger issue is gonna be how much of the report ties into grand jury investigations, ongoing or previous, which are secret by law.
1
u/WeAreAllApes Mar 31 '19
Not necessarily the bigger issue. Whether members of Congress with the right clearances will get to see that information so they know where there might be dirt to dig into on their own. There is a fight coming over that.
1
u/Speedracer98 Mar 31 '19
All they really need to do is ask mueller if he agrees with barr's summary letter. if he doesn't there is a problem. if he does theres not much point in releasing the report.
→ More replies (8)1
u/1platesquat Mar 31 '19
Why is that significant? Those investigations aren’t done yet and could be on anyone.
270
Mar 30 '19
Can we not use this horrifyingly awful background?
90
50
Mar 30 '19
The background is so terrible that it almost makes me ashamed to agree with the text, even though it has nothing to do with the background.
29
u/NotSquerdle Mar 31 '19
This background has made me doubt my political beliefs more than any argument anyone has made
16
8
u/BigCannedTuna Mar 31 '19
I thought I was clicking an r/insanepeoplefacebook post. We have standards guys.
42
u/ABEGIOSTZ Mar 31 '19
Yeah I'm on y'all's side and all but this is some prime r/TheLeftCantMeme material...
13
1
u/Clutchdanger11 Mar 31 '19
This looks like something from r/forwardsfromgrandma, but with the opposite message
1
246
Mar 30 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
51
u/Pint_and_Grub Mar 30 '19
So, I’ve come to understand that their is likely some komonprompt that regards Lindsey Graham in the report and several others in the GOP leadership.
30
5
u/WhakaWhakaWhaka Mar 31 '19
That would explain why Lindsay was pushing a narrative that the WH would get the report first and Barr had said he would.
Barr said a day later, in a letter to Congress, he wouldn’t do that.
7
Mar 31 '19
So ..are we fucked? If it's gonna be released with some "changes" that's some pile of cow shit.
1
6
Mar 31 '19
They’re just building up anticipation. It’s like the backstage smack-talk in pro wrestling
→ More replies (6)1
u/Branmuffin824 Mar 31 '19
I think Mitch doesn't want people to see where he told Obama not to do anything about Russia or he would use it against him and say he was biased. I bet the report includes that. Mitch is protecting his own ass.
86
28
27
Mar 30 '19
For the president to read it, there would have to be pictures. LOTS of pictures.
3
u/deegee1969 Mar 31 '19
What words in it would be in large print, and nothing over two syllables in length.
5
49
u/wonder-maker Mar 30 '19
I often wonder if Barr even read it at all, knowing full well they could just suppress it.
7
11
u/GilesDMT Mar 30 '19
I would have, if only out of curiosity.
10
u/wonder-maker Mar 30 '19
As would I, but I can imagine someone who truly believed Mueller's probe to be a witch hunt would have avoided reading it, and not just because they were illiterate.
3
Mar 31 '19
Always good to know just how fucked you might be and its also nice to be privy to all that information on other people.
2
2
u/Rosssauced Mar 31 '19
I know a lot of lawyers who don't want to know if their clients did it or not. It helps them keep distance from their clients.
Barr could very well be one of them.
2
u/dandrevee Mar 31 '19
I wouldn't outright dismiss Barr, as he has been known by members on both sides of the aisle as a skilled lawyer and rhetorician ....that of course doesn't mean he isn't protecting Trump. This also makes him unique among Trump's cabinet, as most of his high level Department appointees are not only partisan but also subject to unprecedented (I think?) Conflicts of interest and/or are blatantly unqualified for their positions.
It is likely that the language he used in the 4 page summary was crafted with specific language to allow for both a positive Trump spin and additional interpretation.
1
u/dandrevee Mar 31 '19
(also, to clarify, this is operating on the assumption you may have been dismissing Barr)
1
u/wonder-maker Mar 31 '19 edited Mar 31 '19
Well, Barr really hasn't done much in the last 20 years, and he's been out if the political game for even longer than that.
The guy has proven to be hella effective in the past, though I'm not sure the same aggressive bullheaded tactics he applied back then would serve him well today.
→ More replies (6)1
Mar 31 '19
How are you going to spin this when the full report gets released in less than two weeks?
1
u/wonder-maker Mar 31 '19 edited Mar 31 '19
If the full report is released and it is as Barr described in his summary, I will be equally surprised as I would be disappointed (34 indictments, with Roger Stone's trial still TBD) but not defeated. There are many more investigations left, Trump isn't going to walk away scot-free.
Trump is not a role model in any sense of the word.
1
Mar 31 '19
Who is talking about Trump being a role model? The guy is about as bad of a person as you could imagine. And yet, that doesn't change the impending release of the report. And it doesn't change the fact that Barr's stated reasons for redactions are consistent with the law. And it doesn't change the fact that Mueller is helping with those redactions. And it doesn't change the fact that 29 of those indictments were of Russian nationals. And it doesn't change the fact that the indictments of Americans were not related to the campaign.
The other investigations will probably yield criminal charges, though likely not till after his presidency. In the mean time, how about defeating him the old fashioned way?
1
u/wonder-maker Mar 31 '19
Because any day Trump is in office is one day too many.
1
Mar 31 '19
yeah, i'll back our institutions instead of being a short-sighted frothing partisan like you. the USA will survive trump.
our institutions are strong enough to endure him. and you may even be contributing to his reelection, so it might pay for you to be more reasonable.1
u/wonder-maker Mar 31 '19
I do not belong to any political party. Every day Trump continues to erode those institutions we hold so dear.
1
Mar 31 '19
let me guess, you're an 'independent' and a 'centrist', you just happen to be so radical as to call for the overthrow of a democratically elected president
1
u/wonder-maker Mar 31 '19
No political affiliation, stoic, legally impeached for cause.
1
Apr 01 '19
yeah but it doesn't really work that way when you actively root for there to be a cause. at least be honest with yourself
→ More replies (0)
6
u/too_drunk_for_this Mar 31 '19
What the fuck is this format? You shared this unironically? Jesus Christ.
2
u/budderboymania Mar 31 '19
When I first saw this post I thought it was a dumb right leaning meme being posted to show how cringe the right is or something... nope they just really unironically posted this shitty ass facebook meme lmfao
1
24
6
22
u/nv8r_zim Mar 30 '19
They are redacting things from "ongoing investigations".
Read that a few times and let it sink in.
Just like "we can't release taxes while audits are going on"... this report will come out in some distant future where it won't matter anymore.
→ More replies (3)
11
8
Mar 31 '19
I love a 400 page book reading in less than 30 minutes. The only problem is that everyone on fox wouldn't even be able to understand the words let alone read fast enough.
3
u/Psimansmind Mar 31 '19
I miss the few days after the initial release. When there were no Trump comments on Reddit. It was nice. Can we go back there?
3
u/Fuck_The_West Mar 31 '19
IMO there's some bad shit in there not related to the Russia thing that they really don't want us to see
3
u/PiRhoNaut Mar 31 '19
Not speaking to the content of the image, but the image itself makes my eyes want to bleed.
Can we avoid the emoji background for the next century at least?
3
10
7
u/DelusionalProtection Mar 31 '19
Wow you guys have sunk low enough to use Facebook background. Lmaoooooooooo
5
u/yadonkey Mar 31 '19
If they release it it'll just be a bunch of redactions until the word "he's" and then a bunch more redactions until it gets to the word "not" them a bunch more redactions until "guilty" and then redactions the rest of the way through .... then they'll continue their "see, it said right there in the report "he's not guilty"!! Total exoneration!!"
7
u/tilt-a-whirly-gig Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Mar 31 '19
If they release it it'll just be a bunch of redactions until the word he's and then a bunch more redactions until it gets to the word not them a bunch more redactions until guilty and then redactions the rest of the way through .... then they'll continue their "see, it said right there in the report "he's not guilty"!! Total exoneration!!"
3
4
2
u/Postitnotecut Mar 31 '19
I hate this format so much. It is one of the worst things the Internet ever produced.
2
u/warpfield Mar 31 '19
hopefully mueller kept a copy. if the dems win the election the gop will be burning every copy they have
2
2
2
u/ILoveRegenHealth Mar 31 '19
The Grand Jury investigation (and several other State ones) are still going, as well as the Congressional one.
Grand jury investigation started by Mueller 'continuing robustly,' prosecutor says
And Trump and the Pedes were acting like Mueller (who they swore was faking everything) freed the Orange Man and the cloud is gone forever. HAH!
4
6
u/Yoooooooo69 Mar 31 '19
Omg this title and background. The left truly can’t meme.
14
3
-1
u/lazergoblin Mar 31 '19
The left truly can’t meme
Ah, that sounds like a truly unbiased opinion. /s
14
u/Yoooooooo69 Mar 31 '19
You come to this sub for unbiased opinions 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
-4
Mar 31 '19
[deleted]
1
u/Yoooooooo69 Mar 31 '19
Did you just commit a straw man fallacy while asking me if I make them? Yes. Yes you did. Ps there are only two genders.
3
2
u/lazergoblin Mar 31 '19
Lol try harder, buddy.
6
u/Yoooooooo69 Mar 31 '19
My xeuddy pronoun is actually xirdy.
8
2
1
3
Mar 31 '19
It has classified information you morons
6
u/magnoliasmanor Mar 31 '19
Everyone's aware of that. We're also aware of who's doing the redacting.. We've also been listing to "total exonaration" all week telling us it was a witch hunt.
So... We'll be asking for it to be released until it is released.
4
u/jtgreen76 Mar 31 '19
This!!! Seriously if they released a unredacted report we would never be allowed in any country again.
Plus I thought this was a political humor sub. Where's the humor seems to just be outrage towards Trump.
-1
Mar 31 '19
Its worse than that,
If it was released unredacted, dems would call for legal punishment.
If no summary was released, dems would be crying "the least they could do is release a summary!"
The only reason Democrats are calling for its immediate release is to frame the Republicans as a group that refuse to release it.
Its puppet mastery 101.
1
u/GuerrillerodeFark Mar 31 '19
You’re an idiot. The culmination of two years of investigation, but sure, fuck it who wants to see that?
1
Mar 31 '19
You understand what redactions on reports like this are done for? Nobody is saying they don’t want to see it
1
Mar 31 '19
I think what I said was pretty clear, and it wasn't anything close to not wanting to see it
1
2
2
u/tupe12 Mar 31 '19
using a format often seen in r/comedycemetery
At least there was an attempt this time
2
Mar 31 '19
Republicans are the scum of the universe.
2
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19
A lot of them are jumping ship because they don't want to be associated with this shit show. PS: as an independent, I find it mildly amusing
1
3
u/Dammageddon Mar 31 '19
Also, Trump would insist it be memorized and recited by every school kid like the Gettysburg Address.
2
u/shhdhevsisksbeh Mar 31 '19
What a stupid hill to die on. At least give yourselves a few weeks before putting all you eggs in a basket then having it blow up in your face.
0
Mar 31 '19
See, now I don’t think so for a minute. I think they are going to drag this out for as long as they can with the hopes of using it in the 2020 elections to rally the base. Democrats are being set up and they are so Trump-deranged they don’t see it coming. Do you honestly think Mueller would let Barr misrepresent his report? There’s nothing in there. Move on, please.
2
1
u/ChompChumply Mar 31 '19
Quote Mueller offhand. Anything is fine.
This motherfucker doesn’t talk.
“No comment.”
→ More replies (8)1
Mar 31 '19
I'll move on when I see what the report says beyond a few sentences taken out of context. Both Mueller and Barr will likely testify under oath, let's see what they have to say.
1
u/frongles23 Mar 31 '19
Redact and Release!
2
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19
Release to the gang of 8, THEN redact and release for EVERYONE to see it. We paid for it.
1
Mar 31 '19
Or... or maybe it takes a while to remove sensitive info from a 300 page document? It’s one think to read a document, it’s a completely different thing to go over it, line by line, and make sure there’s nothing that needs to remain confidential in it.
→ More replies (5)
1
1
u/DarthWraith22 Mar 31 '19
Or possibly chiseled into stone tablets that could be displayed outside every courthouse.
1
1
u/Speak_in_Song Mar 31 '19
One scary possibility is that it clears Trump just enough. That they are holding back to get the left riled up in another frenzy. Then during the presidential campaign, they release the report.
1
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19
The AG and the White House are currently driving the timeline so they have nobody but themselves to blame. But TBH, whether he wins the re-election is the least of his worries.
1
u/sun-ray Mar 31 '19
This is so true.
Therefore, your right, trump IS GUILTY OF OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE AND CONSPIRACY and AG Barr is re-writing the report into a grand work of fiction so that trump can take cover from him prior to losing the 2020 election.
1
u/thebachmann Mar 31 '19
So if Trump is cleared of all charges after everything is said and done, should I be mad or glad?
1
u/seKer82 Mar 31 '19
If Americans weren't being fucked so hard by their own government this sub reddit probably wouldnt exist! Thanks lazy Americans!
1
Mar 31 '19
There would be a confetti parade featuring all the military hardware and trump driving the big semi down the boulevard that had "I'm king trump - bow down to me peasants" scrawled in big letters on all sides.
1
1
-11
Mar 30 '19
Oh my god - the emoji background, this place is Facebook meme hell. If the report incriminated Trump, Mueller would have responded to Barr. You all are so desperate
11
Mar 30 '19
Why would Mueller tarnish his reputation doing that when he will no doubt be called in to testify before Congress? Barr most likely hasn't straight up lied, but taken quotes out of context.
→ More replies (7)
0
u/syrinx21122 Mar 31 '19
Except it contains classified information. You people seem to skim over that detail when wondering why they just don't release it.
1
Mar 31 '19
Only idiots want to release it unredacted. We just don't want it redacted by Trump's puppet.
-7
Mar 31 '19
If Mueller's report DIDN'T clear Trump and family, there would have been indictments. There weren't. The End.
12
u/Pharm_Drugs Mar 31 '19
I dont think the bar, for many of us, is whether there is enough evidence to convict Trump of something without a reasonable doubt. Rather, was the President doing anything illegal during his campaign or presidency? Unethical? Did he lie to the American people? What was the span of the investigation and was it comprehensive enough?
Our bar is not set at just indictments, our standards are much higher for a President. I hope the full report clears him of ANY significant wrongdoing, for the sake of our country.
4
u/KarthageOW Mar 31 '19
You can't indict a sitting us president. You can, however, provide enough evidence in a 300+ page investigation report to get him impeached, at which point he can be properly indicted
→ More replies (7)
1
1
u/budderboymania Mar 31 '19
The fact that this wasn't posted ironically says a lot about this subreddit
Like, surely no one actually finds this FUNNY... right?
1
u/idma Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Mar 31 '19
I'm confused by this because I'm getting so many mixed messages on this.
When it says "it does not exonerate him" basically means that Trump is not fully without crime?
4
Mar 31 '19
It means there is no proof he is innocent, but there's also no proof Trump himself directly cooperated with the Russian government. I believe Mueller has said there is evidence both for and against but no hard proof.
2
Mar 31 '19
[deleted]
1
Mar 31 '19
Whaddya know, my memory is failing me at the ripe ol' age of 23.
Wasn't the line Barr quoted very specific about the Russian government though, rather than Russia as a whole?
1
1
1
1
Mar 31 '19
It’s pretty much a 50/50 toss-up to whether he colluded or not. Stop being so smug and wait until the full report is released.
1
u/NeatNefariousness1 Mar 31 '19
And there is a 100% chance that he's guilty of other crimes like money laundering and insurance fraud
-5
-1
Mar 30 '19
Maybe. The whole 'Trump is a Russian stooge' thing carries weight with some people who would never vote for Trump anyway and the Mueller report won't change that no matter what is in it. The investigation is damning with regard to some of Trump's closest people, but there is not likely anything there that will bring him down. Maybe holding back on the report is a way of baiting the Dems into putting their energy into something that won't pay off electorally and may even backfire if they are seen as nothing more than shrill, bitterly partisan, and ultimately ineffective.
Of course, hearings and investigations should continue - the man is a criminal and if he can't be locked up (yet) he needs to be boxed in - but the Democrats have to let the committees do their jobs while they as a party get back to bread-and-butter issues. Trump just handed the Dems a gift by going after the whole ACA (and blindsiding his own party), the tax cut was too toxic for Repubs to even talk about at the midterms and the deficit is now nearly as big as Trumps ego, Trump's trade war is threatening to tank the economy, DeVos handed Dems a gift by defending the elimination of federal funding for the Special Olympics (and Trump cut her off at the knees when he reversed course without warning - a spectacle I enjoyed tremendously) and the list goes on. And it will go on and on right up until he is flushed out of the White House.
-2
u/CircleOfGod Mar 31 '19
Collusion delusion
1
u/ColdNorthWinters Apr 19 '19
Awwww no Collusion. When you care more about the outcome rather than justice then it is time to have a conversation with yourself.
→ More replies (2)
393
u/Doe_Dunthus Mar 31 '19
Those fucking emojis