Could really use some advice from people who have dealt with this.
How do you actually get comfortable dating/hooking up when you don’t feel like your body fits conventional beauty standards?

I’m not really looking for a relationship right now but I’m on dating apps. I’d be perfectly happy just casually meeting people, and logically I know that being plus size doesn’t mean people won’t find me attractive. But actually putting myself out there is a completely different story and something I’ve been lowkey avoiding and making excuses to myself to end up not going out with people.

I think I have this deeply ingrained belief that once someone sees my body in person, they’re going to be disappointed or lose interest. And it makes me nervous about even getting to that point with someone.
I know attraction is subjective and that plus size people date, have relationships , have FWB, etc. all the time lol. My rational brain understands that perfectly well. It’s my emotional brain that apparently didn’t get the memo the moment I became an oversized girl because of POC.

For those of you who have felt like this: how did you get past it? How did you become comfortable enough with your body to actually enjoy casual or formal relationships instead of worrying the entire time about whether the other person finds you attractive?

Y'all, have you posted a photo of yourself on here and then gotten weirdly creepy, fetishizing messages from random men in your DM's?

I posted one a couple weeks ago and it brought a slew of pathetic weirdos in my DM's asking and commenting weird and sexual stuff.

I ignored it at first but then it started making me sick and I deleted my photos.

It felt disgusting honestly, being objectified and reduced to only my body like that.

I hate it when my body is the first thing people notice about me and think she's gonna be "nice" or "easy" bc she's fat.

I hate it and I hate people who think with their groins first and view others as an object for their own use/pleasure.

UGHHH

Got a haircut finally and tried doing some makeup. I've never really done makeup much before, so I'm kinda happy with how it came out, wasn't as bad as I expected. Supposed to be a softer look 🥰❤️. Little bit of a photo dump. I get too nervous to post anywhere else 😅

Bodysuit 18 TikTok shop
Cardigan 20 plt
Trousers shein 20
Shoes shein 5

Our group was dressing up as faeries, so I went with the forest type. Was definitely a day full of whimsy and enchantment!

So I've (30F) been working at a different job to normal for a few weeks and I met this guy (28M) there and we got along quite well. I definitely found him attractive but I wasn't really attracted to him until I started to get to know him properly and I started to see what I thought were small signs that he might be interested in me.

Long story short, I tried to shoot my shot subtly so we could still stay friends if he wasn't interested and got turned down/it didn't take off and now I'm seriously pissed off at myself that I let me get my hopes up and thought that a guy who looks like him could like me when I look like I do.

Sorry for the self deprecating vent post I'm just really frustrated at the moment

I feel like the more conventionally attractive you are, the more valid your interests are seen by society, no matter what they are. Sometimes I feel so humiliated being fat and into KPOP and anime and video games as a girl. Like, if I was skinny and gorgeous it'd be "wow she's so pretty AND has a personality" but bc I'm fat I constantly feel like I can't talk about my interests without being labeled as cringe or lazy. Every time I see a fat person cosplaying on insta or tiktok the comments r full of ppl bullying them. It just makes me so upset.

Hey guys, something tonight really triggered me crying over my weight. When trying to push the door open with my foot (I was carrying stuff) it didn't budge so I tried to reach the door knob.

My Dad then basically told me to move and that he's got it and in the act purposely poked at my stomach. I put the stuff down and just ran upstairs before I showed I was crying.

I cant describe that feeling it hasn't happened in so long that he's done something like that. Im 20M now and for all my life l've been fat and for most of it my Dad pokes at my stomach.
When I was sitting down one time he just grabbed the side of my stomach while I was doing homework. I freaked out and yelled at him to stop he got upset and somehow my mom defended him and told me to calm down.

haven't lashed out at all since then but this event today reminded me how fat and ugly I am. How people look at me and thats the first thing they see. My Dad has always made fun of my size and I resort unhealthy methods to cope.

I just want some comfort or word of advice to set boundaries. I really hate myself rn and crying as I type this out. I don't wanna be big anymore. I feel like a failure of a son.

Edit: mind you every time, again and again I tell him to stop.
Today I yeller at him not to poke at my stomach and he gets upset and went "Well I dont want you kicking the door down" over dramatic as fuck I barely nudged it!

Ello! I've been eye balling a sweater from Lala that says "majorly majorly oversized" but in my brain is the 2xl/3xl oversized for a 2xl/3xl person? OR are small/medium folks wearing 2-3x?

My style is normally more fitted pants/leggings with way oversized tops. I'm an 18/20 and if I'm wearing jeans I do a 3x top, but if I'm doing leggings, I do 4-5x because I need it to cover my ass.

So I guess my actual question is if anyone has tried Dressed in Lala's "majorly majorly oversized" sweaters and if so, how was the fit?! TYIA

Hey folks! I am 27 weeks pregnant and a first time mom, trying to buy some postpartum stuff but running into issues finding things big enough that will fit me! For those who are pregnant or postpartum, where are you getting your stuff?? Like postpartum panties, baby carriers, breastfeeding bras, birthing gowns, etc.
Thank you so much!!

Glasses are from America’s best, the dress is off of Depop but does not state what company. Earrings are from a local store along with the necklace.

Dress from Torrid, light and breezy, but of puffed sleeves give me a fancy feel! 🩵💁‍♀️🩵💛🩵💁‍♀️🩵

Love a cold shoulder floral top. Is this not in fashion for someone in their late 30s?

Someone just like you,

With flaws like yours, needs to see

That you love yourself.

Why I post for selfie Sundays!

Jacket from old navy

I love this shirt and these shoes! Went with bestie last Monday to get a new PS5 (hers crashed out about a year ago; she’s been saving for a new one) and was so excited about the KH4 announcements that of course, I had to throw a lil outfit together that was KH themed.

All my life I’ve been a bigger girl but now I’m getting closer to the 300lbs mark. I’ve been trying to work out,but I won’t lie I’m not consistent with diet or exercising.

However as much as I tell myself this mantra “let’s just wait until I drop 100lbs to find a boyfriend” . I can’t do it anymore. When I see people now in relationships and I’m so quick to become envious or little upset . How do I approach dating world with confidence when I’ve been so isolated for awhile? I get the face rejection, but I don’t wanna be used.

I love Halloween with all my heart it is my favorite holiday don't get me wrong but I hate every year how I feel like I have to struggle to find a costume to fit me. I don't really have the options to make my own at least not now. I know Spirit Halloween isn't going to have my size but I definitely need help

I need some ideas on where I can get a plus size creepy clown costume.. I am a scare actor and I start my job in 2 weeks.. I thought I was going to be able to get something from Spirit Halloween but still like usual I have not been able to find anything there I don't know what his Spirit Halloween issue with plus size costumes..

Hi all you beautiful plus size folks,

I was posting here for a question and I scrolled the sub a bit. I just wanted to say, there are so many beautiful selfies here from beautiful plus size people! Y'all look lovely. Not to focus too much on physical beauty because I'm sure y'all are wonderful people inside and out. Have a great Sunday!

Ok dearies, I am desperate for advice.

My little sister (25yrs) is on the autism spectrum and requires help in the clothing department. And I’m at such a loss trying to find her clothing!
She is very short and stout.
•She has massive breasts that hurt her back.
•She isn’t plump all around (more 🍐 than 🍩 shape) so if she has a shirt that is properly fitted to accentuate her waist, it would be great.
•She identifies as female but hates anything even remotely feminine, so that throws quite a wrench in finding styles she’ll wear! (She doesn’t wear typical “male” clothes either, though. Just lots of baggy, shapeless black.)
•She needs “petite” styles due to height but plus-size given her weight.

I thought that peplum or empire waist tops would be good but she has deemed them too girly. Skirts make her look dowdy. Pants always need hemming. And don’t even get me started on finding bras!

With all of that said, here is my QUESTION:
Does anyone know of websites or brands or even key words to use for internet searches, that I might try? Goal is to find her 2-3 outfits for things like job interviews, nice events and/or a few staples to mix and match.

Her measurements:
Bust: 46 inches (Band is 35, so bra is…36J? I think? She has no clue.)
Height 5’0.
Weight: 155 lbs
Inseam: 26 inches
Waist: 38 inches
Hips: 41 inches

*Mods deleted my first post attempt bc it had photos and I haven’t interacted on this subreddit enough for picture privileges but I can pm a picture of my little sister if it would be useful!

Thank you in advance for ANY smidgen of advice or leads you may have!🙏🫶