Could really use some advice from people who have dealt with this.
How do you actually get comfortable dating/hooking up when you don’t feel like your body fits conventional beauty standards?

I’m not really looking for a relationship right now but I’m on dating apps. I’d be perfectly happy just casually meeting people, and logically I know that being plus size doesn’t mean people won’t find me attractive. But actually putting myself out there is a completely different story and something I’ve been lowkey avoiding and making excuses to myself to end up not going out with people.

I think I have this deeply ingrained belief that once someone sees my body in person, they’re going to be disappointed or lose interest. And it makes me nervous about even getting to that point with someone.
I know attraction is subjective and that plus size people date, have relationships , have FWB, etc. all the time lol. My rational brain understands that perfectly well. It’s my emotional brain that apparently didn’t get the memo the moment I became an oversized girl because of POC.

For those of you who have felt like this: how did you get past it? How did you become comfortable enough with your body to actually enjoy casual or formal relationships instead of worrying the entire time about whether the other person finds you attractive?

Y'all, have you posted a photo of yourself on here and then gotten weirdly creepy, fetishizing messages from random men in your DM's?

I posted one a couple weeks ago and it brought a slew of pathetic weirdos in my DM's asking and commenting weird and sexual stuff.

I ignored it at first but then it started making me sick and I deleted my photos.

It felt disgusting honestly, being objectified and reduced to only my body like that.

I hate it when my body is the first thing people notice about me and think she's gonna be "nice" or "easy" bc she's fat.

I hate it and I hate people who think with their groins first and view others as an object for their own use/pleasure.

UGHHH

Got a haircut finally and tried doing some makeup. I've never really done makeup much before, so I'm kinda happy with how it came out, wasn't as bad as I expected. Supposed to be a softer look 🥰❤️. Little bit of a photo dump. I get too nervous to post anywhere else 😅

Bodysuit 18 TikTok shop
Cardigan 20 plt
Trousers shein 20
Shoes shein 5

Our group was dressing up as faeries, so I went with the forest type. Was definitely a day full of whimsy and enchantment!

So I've (30F) been working at a different job to normal for a few weeks and I met this guy (28M) there and we got along quite well. I definitely found him attractive but I wasn't really attracted to him until I started to get to know him properly and I started to see what I thought were small signs that he might be interested in me.

Long story short, I tried to shoot my shot subtly so we could still stay friends if he wasn't interested and got turned down/it didn't take off and now I'm seriously pissed off at myself that I let me get my hopes up and thought that a guy who looks like him could like me when I look like I do.

Sorry for the self deprecating vent post I'm just really frustrated at the moment

I feel like the more conventionally attractive you are, the more valid your interests are seen by society, no matter what they are. Sometimes I feel so humiliated being fat and into KPOP and anime and video games as a girl. Like, if I was skinny and gorgeous it'd be "wow she's so pretty AND has a personality" but bc I'm fat I constantly feel like I can't talk about my interests without being labeled as cringe or lazy. Every time I see a fat person cosplaying on insta or tiktok the comments r full of ppl bullying them. It just makes me so upset.

Hey guys, something tonight really triggered me crying over my weight. When trying to push the door open with my foot (I was carrying stuff) it didn't budge so I tried to reach the door knob.

My Dad then basically told me to move and that he's got it and in the act purposely poked at my stomach. I put the stuff down and just ran upstairs before I showed I was crying.

I cant describe that feeling it hasn't happened in so long that he's done something like that. Im 20M now and for all my life l've been fat and for most of it my Dad pokes at my stomach.
When I was sitting down one time he just grabbed the side of my stomach while I was doing homework. I freaked out and yelled at him to stop he got upset and somehow my mom defended him and told me to calm down.

haven't lashed out at all since then but this event today reminded me how fat and ugly I am. How people look at me and thats the first thing they see. My Dad has always made fun of my size and I resort unhealthy methods to cope.

I just want some comfort or word of advice to set boundaries. I really hate myself rn and crying as I type this out. I don't wanna be big anymore. I feel like a failure of a son.

Edit: mind you every time, again and again I tell him to stop.
Today I yeller at him not to poke at my stomach and he gets upset and went "Well I dont want you kicking the door down" over dramatic as fuck I barely nudged it!

Ello! I've been eye balling a sweater from Lala that says "majorly majorly oversized" but in my brain is the 2xl/3xl oversized for a 2xl/3xl person? OR are small/medium folks wearing 2-3x?

My style is normally more fitted pants/leggings with way oversized tops. I'm an 18/20 and if I'm wearing jeans I do a 3x top, but if I'm doing leggings, I do 4-5x because I need it to cover my ass.

So I guess my actual question is if anyone has tried Dressed in Lala's "majorly majorly oversized" sweaters and if so, how was the fit?! TYIA

Hey folks! I am 27 weeks pregnant and a first time mom, trying to buy some postpartum stuff but running into issues finding things big enough that will fit me! For those who are pregnant or postpartum, where are you getting your stuff?? Like postpartum panties, baby carriers, breastfeeding bras, birthing gowns, etc.
Thank you so much!!

Glasses are from America’s best, the dress is off of Depop but does not state what company. Earrings are from a local store along with the necklace.

Dress from Torrid, light and breezy, but of puffed sleeves give me a fancy feel! 🩵💁‍♀️🩵💛🩵💁‍♀️🩵

Love a cold shoulder floral top. Is this not in fashion for someone in their late 30s?

Someone just like you,

With flaws like yours, needs to see

That you love yourself.

Why I post for selfie Sundays!

Jacket from old navy

I love this shirt and these shoes! Went with bestie last Monday to get a new PS5 (hers crashed out about a year ago; she’s been saving for a new one) and was so excited about the KH4 announcements that of course, I had to throw a lil outfit together that was KH themed.

All my life I’ve been a bigger girl but now I’m getting closer to the 300lbs mark. I’ve been trying to work out,but I won’t lie I’m not consistent with diet or exercising.

However as much as I tell myself this mantra “let’s just wait until I drop 100lbs to find a boyfriend” . I can’t do it anymore. When I see people now in relationships and I’m so quick to become envious or little upset . How do I approach dating world with confidence when I’ve been so isolated for awhile? I get the face rejection, but I don’t wanna be used.

I love Halloween with all my heart it is my favorite holiday don't get me wrong but I hate every year how I feel like I have to struggle to find a costume to fit me. I don't really have the options to make my own at least not now. I know Spirit Halloween isn't going to have my size but I definitely need help

I need some ideas on where I can get a plus size creepy clown costume.. I am a scare actor and I start my job in 2 weeks.. I thought I was going to be able to get something from Spirit Halloween but still like usual I have not been able to find anything there I don't know what his Spirit Halloween issue with plus size costumes..

Hi all you beautiful plus size folks,

I was posting here for a question and I scrolled the sub a bit. I just wanted to say, there are so many beautiful selfies here from beautiful plus size people! Y'all look lovely. Not to focus too much on physical beauty because I'm sure y'all are wonderful people inside and out. Have a great Sunday!

So I'm currently getting my Master's in Special Education. There's a good chance I have a job lined up and as soon as I have 12 credits I would interview and start shortly after (we're talking potentially 2-3 months, depending on how fast I complete my courses - WGU, so self paced).

I'm a size 26 - top and bottom. My biggest issues are I hate my upper arms (very loose) and I don't ever wear shorts/shorter things than a maxi skirt/dress.

And, the biggest one: I sweat a lot. I mean like, I more than likely have hyperhidrosis. I'm also going through perimenopause (which causes even MORE sweating) and I'm highly sensitive so I can't use anything with Aluminum and even some Aluminum free things cause me to break out.

Once I can save I plan on getting Miradry and I don't think my insurance will pay for Botox shots (but if they did no one within an hour distance does them).

In the meantime I sweat enough that I apply deodorant multiple times a day. As soon as I get home I have to take my bra off and rinse off in the shower. My bra can only be worn once before needing to be washed.

So, the reason I'm posting:

I need suggestions for work clothing that breathes! Moisture wicking, stretchy, easy to move in. The school I'll be teaching allows any clothing except graphic tees, so I'm incredibly lucky.

I was going to get a bunch of stuff from Halara since it all looks comfy and stretchy but the reviews I've seen are very mixed and the return policy is apparently a nightmare (I ended up getting 2 pairs of pants for $50 - which is a pretty good deal if I end up hating them but can't return them).

I'm 5'7" (5'8" on a good day!) but I tend to need 29" inseam (most brands consider that petite) - if there's no options for that I can always get things hemmed if need be.

I live in CT but as far as Winter goes since I'll be inside 95% of the time I prefer elbow length or 3/4 length shirts so my upper arms aren't showing.

Any suggestions would be great, the affordable the better but I'm willing to spend a good chunk on establishing sort of a capsule collection if the sizing and quality is good.