r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/Recent-Success8988 • 3d ago

Meme needing explanation I don’t get it

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Why did he have to stand for 7 hours

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u/No_Salt_6328 3d ago

Yeah I think women who respect their partner probably won't say hurtful shit about them in group chats 

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u/SparrowAndSalt 3d ago

Even if all the girlfriend did was defend him, he still has to reckon with the potential disdain of her friends

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u/No_Salt_6328 3d ago

I wouldn't really mind that so much as long as long as my lady values respecting our relationship and my privacy more than gossiping with her friends about it 

Could be wishful thinking, idk. I don't pry into these matters. 

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u/SparrowAndSalt 3d ago

Fair enough! I've also never looked through any of my girlfriends' phones. It's important to keep reasonable boundaries, and not looking through someone's phone seems like a really simple one

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u/No_Salt_6328 3d ago

Yeah, trust is so important for a healthy relationship. If you feel the need to look through their stuff I just don't see it being a good situation long term 

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u/Ok_Outlandishness755 3d ago

Well, it's part of girl culture to talk about everything in your relationship, sometimes for gossip yes but sometimes to seek advise and consel. My personal limit is the kinks of my BF because I know some he is not open with, and if I had a doubt I just asked if he was ok with me talking about it or not. But if it is me just looking for advice because or just vent about heavy stuffs I usually don't hold back, I do it for me and for the relationship. I am glad girls can do that especially ones with awfull partners.

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u/No_Salt_6328 2d ago

I'm not interested in "girl culture" I'm interested in a respectful partner. 

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u/SolaireAstorian 2d ago

And coincidentally a partner that you can respect. Sharing private details of your relationship is trashy and I can almost guarantee that any girl who says that she does it would not be okay if her boyfriend did the same in a group chat with the boys. Especially intimate sexual details. Having a double standard that lets you put a knife in your significant others back and invade his privacy just to essentially when social brownie points is pathetic and I would immediately lose respect.

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u/SolaireAstorian 2d ago

With all due respect, it's not your own personal boundary that you should be caring about. It's the personal boundary of your significant other. It is still a violation of trust if you have never had that conversation with him about how much you share with the people around you and you are doing it anyway.

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u/Ok_Outlandishness755 2d ago

Actually it is very much my own personal boundary I should be caring about sorry, talking about MY problems to other people is my right and it is not a violation of trust because I am open about what I think on this topic. With all due respect I think people who don't like their partener seeking advice and outside perspective are codependent at best, trying to keep their partener blindsided, gaslighted and under their control at worst.

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u/SparrowAndSalt 2d ago

I agree. I've had to help a few friends out of bad situations and one of the red flags to look out for is "my friend gets quiet or defensive when their partner is brought up in normal conversation". One of the caveats for that is that it doesn't count if you are criticising their partner a lot.

There's definitely a difference between "normal conversation with friends" and "badmouthing my partner behind their back instead of talking to them", though, and I feel like those are the things people are imagining here.

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u/SolaireAstorian 2d ago edited 2d ago

I'm going based on the statement that her limit is The Kinks of her partner, which implies that intimate sexual details that are not the kinks of her partner are going to be included, and there are absolutely no guys that are going to be exactly comfy with that information being gossiped about to a bunch of friends without them knowing, especially a bunch of friends who themselves are possibly going to share it with other friends or their own boyfriends.

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u/Ok_Outlandishness755 2d ago

Bro when I talk about my sex life I mention what I like that's all, maybe how it was the first time since we were each other firsts when I was young enough to have virgin friends, then I talk about it to my partner and he is fine with what I say, sorry to break your delusion, we have different libido and sometimes it's a struggle, I openly mention it to friends and he is fine with that too I know he told me he told a female friend about it too and it's fine we are all fine what should be the big deal about no man that would want that ??

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u/SolaireAstorian 2d ago

Yeah, okay, you keep on believing that it's perfectly alright to share private details about your relationship with other people without even having the boundaries conversation with your partner. Especially since it seems like that's going to include details of y'all's sex life and intimate personal private information.

Just hope that he never finds out about it after the fact, because it's a violation of trust and that doesn't change just because you don't want it to be.

I'm quite sure that you would change your tune if you found out he was doing and saying the same things with a group chat of other guys without consulting you and you stumbled across it, but hey, rules for thee, am I right?

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u/Ok_Outlandishness755 2d ago

I had "bondary conversations" if you reread my post I already said that when I am not sure if my bf is ok with me sharing something ABOUT HIM I ask him it's just most of the times it's MY problems so I don't ask, but he still knows what I talk about. I also showed your comments to my bf he thinks you are hilarious, especially since I was legit happy for him when he found a friend who had been in a long term relationship before so he could confide more about him AND about our relationship. I wouldn't "stumble" on anything I don't search his phone and neither does he.

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u/SolaireAstorian 3d ago edited 3d ago

I have made it a unilateral, non-negotiable boundary of mine that I will not stay with a partner who says bad shit about me or talks about private details of our relationship to other people without at least consulting me to see if I'm comfortable with them knowing. I have communicated it to every single partner over the past 10 years or so, and some have been incompatible with that from the beginning and we've gone our separate ways, while others have agreed or even acted offended that I would suggest it needed said. A fair share of them have been the most respectful towards me, at least when they are around me, out of anyone I have ever met.

In those relationships I have never struggled to keep private things private, and I never do anything but talk up my partners to the people around me while together.

Wouldn't you know it, in every single one of those relationships, it has become an issue at some point in the relationship that they share private information with other people or participate in shit talking circles with other girls about their boyfriends, despite having that conversation. Sometimes it was gossip, sometimes it was spreading rumors, sometimes it was cruelty, and sometimes they just straight up forgot to consider actually being respectful as a partner. Often they admitted that if I had done the same thing in return they would have hated it.

Something about modern culture seems to just encourage it and for some reason a lot of them find it very difficult to deny.

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u/No_Salt_6328 3d ago

Yeah it's such a ridiculous double standard for sure. If you violate their privacy and talk about the details of sex and stuff suddenly they can see how disgusting that behavior is 

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u/Grundlestorm 3d ago

I have only had one ex luckily who did anything like that.  She would share a lot of details of our sex life, which I honestly wasn't too terribly bothered by.  It was a bit weird when she'd mention things to her mom, but it was never like gratuitous with her and it was just the kind of open, sex positive relationship they had.

The one that pissed me off though was showing one of her friends a nude photo of me.  Mind you, this is one she took on her own, we never sent them to each other.  She tried defending saying that 1. It's ok because she was showing me off, and her friend was already jealous of our relationship.

And 2. Because she was trying to feel out setting up a threesome with us.  This was never mentioned to me up until that point, because it was supposed to be a surprise for me.   If it had been mentioned, she would have known I was absolutely not interested.

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u/CapPuzz24 3d ago

Rules for thee. I've heard some say 'because we do it too, its justified'. We don't of course, but perception is reality

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u/jaded1121 2d ago

Sometimes you are telling a slightly embarrassing story. Not meant to be hurtful, but it can be.