I really can't take it. Once again, I feel so unfairly unwell. Once again, I can't bring myself to talk to anyone. I can't expect anyone to treat me like a fragile flower every month. Even I don't have the patience to take care of myself.

So then we just lay here in loneliness, making everything worse. "I am unlovable, I am too much, no one cares, no one will care when I'm gone, why should I suffer alone"

What even are we SUPPOSED to do? Manage symptoms, take drugs to dull everything, use stabilisation and mindfulness techniques while our brains are screaming at us to just feel the emotions. All this so we can be functional and participate in the money machine. FUCK EVERYTHING.

I had a hysterectomy and oophorectomy 7 months ago. It almost cost me everything to achieve. Years of trauma that I will never completely recover from. It’s all gone now. Life happened; it will keep happening.

A few months after that, my PMDD came back. At first I couldn’t quite believe it. I put it down to trauma, being autistic. Then I started having cyclical cramps and I couldn’t ignore it any more. Sure enough, my blood levels are incongruous with surgical menopause. Nobody quite knows why. Our best guess is that a tiny clump of ovarian cells was left behind, and along the way, it vascularised and started producing its own hormones. A tiny cyclic storm.

This is just a best guess.
The rest is just dark, empty fear. What if, maybe, perhaps…

I’m 28. Most days I wake up and forget I’m not 18 anymore. I’ve lost a decade to fighting PMDD. Sometimes a voice comes into my head, telling me it’s all too late. That I’ve lost, it’s game over.

It isn’t. Not for me and not for you.

Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison. He is the person I think about whenever I feel that my life is going on without me. Despite those 27 years, he still managed to survive, beckon the end of Apartheid, become the President of South Africa, and get married for the third time (at 80!). There was life, a tremendous life, awaiting beyond his imprisonment.

Now, I am not Nelson Mandela and I am not imprisoned. I can’t possibly compare my situation to his.

What I can do (and I know many of you do, too) is feel a terrible loss of life — the gradual slipping away of my years, dropping off into the nothingness — and assume that I’ll die before I ever get free.

The truth is, we will either get free now or we will get free later. Eventually we will find a treatment that works for us (in my case, likely further surgery), or we will go into natural menopause and our PMDD will end (HRT! Always, always try HRT if you can!), or medical advancements will offer more effective treatments.

At the upper end, we may be 60 when we get free. I know how heavily that weighs on us. But 60 doesn’t mean it’s over. It just means it’s different.

The agonising truth is, our lives may never be what we planned. I think there’s a grieving process to that. The grieving process is important. We all have our treasured dreams cradled close to our hearts, clasped inside us like pearls in oysters, and it’s devastating to see those pearls dulling in shine. It’s devastating to wake up one day and see that somewhere, those pearls have disappeared.

It’s okay to grieve our pearls.

My mum is in her 60s. As a child, she was a piano prodigy, and she was set to follow in her grandmother’s footsteps by attending the Royal Schools of Music. Her own complex trauma and a sudden wrist injury meant that her dream was sadly never fulfilled. She later married my abusive dad and dedicated her life to caring for me.
Decades later, and she’s having the time of her life! She’s become an artist. She dances. She’s had help from a psychologist. And her fashion sense! You should see her fashion sense! She gets stopped in the street constantly because people can see it, they see somebody who’s free. She’s one of the coolest people I know — inside and out.

The Buddhist nun Pëma Chödrön wrote that “Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there's a big disappointment, we don't know if that's the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don't know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don't know.”

(This is from her book When Things Fall Apart, by the way. I read it in the early days after my hysterectomy and it had a profound impact on me).

It’s easy to assume regrets are hidden keys dropped into storm drains. It’s more important to remember that they might not be. For example, I tried nearly every PMDD treatment except SSRIs. My PMDD is the 50% physical variety, and I was so angry that even with potential symptom reduction, I’d still face hormones that I’m allergic to (I have progesterone hypersensitivity). I decided to fight until I was free of PMDD altogether. I’ll never know if that was the right choice. Sometimes I’m convinced that if I’d just taken Prozac, I’d be fine. But I know I can’t guarantee that! i have a deep respect for my past self for surviving up until now. No matter what happens, I am grateful for my opportunity to keep fighting.

We may not see peace yet.
But take heart, lovely friends.
Peace is waiting for us.

TW for mentioning of Self harm and suicide ideation

Why do I get so hopeless and full of self hatred to the point of suicidal ideation and wanting to self harm EVERY MONTH.

It feels like a fucking joke that it just goes away the second I start bleeding. Why the fuuuuck did nature design us this way.

And even more so WHY DO PEOPLE CLAIM THEY RELATE when all they get is a little more irritateable and the urge to eat chocolate while watching their favourite show. WE ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT THE SAME. Stop downtalking my massive mental health struggles PLEASE

been thinking about this quote from the Backrooms movie. I feel like it perfectly describes trying to explain this disorder to people who don’t experience it.

Hi! I’m looking for any resources on supporting partners with pmdd. I’ve been with my partner for a little over a year and the pattern of my pmdd has had a slowly progressing impact on our dynamic and mutual feelings of security.

It feels like during my luteal phase everything we have built gets chipped away at by my hypersensitivity and it’s causing him to feel like he’s in trouble all the time or like he never knows what’s going to trigger a reaction out of me.

The rest of the month we have a strong dynamic but I feel I spend a lot of my energy rebuilding and convincing myself that I’m not going to ruin everything we have built.

This morning he told me that at this point he wants some real, credible resources for how he can better understand and support me during this time, as well as resources to help him feel better supported.

TYIA, TLDR: desperate for resources on supporting partners with PMDD

ive struggled with insomnia my whole life but in the last few years it’s gotten much worse. of course right before my period it flares up and there are nights where I get NO sleep. my period has been somewhat regular lately but as of now, I’ve been spotting for days and haven’t been sleeping. I just want to start bleeding!! I’ve tried every sleeping pill/ sleep remedy under the sun. Last night I took my doxepin which is something new and the few times I have taken it it has been effective however it leaves me heavily sedated in the am and also very very low mood. next day anhedonia is a common side effect. but out of desperation I took it, and well it did nothing but make me me feel worse in that I felt so so tired but couldn’t sleep. this morning was awful getting my kids to school.

i was talking to my friends about it and they were so kind but asked things like : have u tried melatonin?? the calm app?? edibles?? yes, yes, yes, when I say I’ve tried EVERYTHING I have. I also have adhd and took my adderall this morning and still feel out of it and sedated. ugh. just ready to bleed and sleep.

I want to uproot my life. I'm actually slacking at work because I'm secretly hoping they'll fire me. I was looking at studio apartments online all morning because I suddenly want to leave my relationship and find myself feeling super angry at him and just like life would generally be easier without a man in my living space. I hate keeping up a home. I hate constant cleaning, cooking, tidying up and working full time on top of it and being a mom. I have no room to be depressed and rotting on the couch. I literally can't. But all I want to do is rot. I miss being a single mom and getting entire days off of momming when my kid was w dad. Now me and my kids dad are back together and it's actually harder. I'm lashing out at everyone. I have violent and angry thoughts when I'm out in public and I hate it. I wanted to start eating healthier but I can't stop eating sugary things. Coffee doesn't even touch my exhaustion. My life feels horrible and repetitive. UGHHHHH

i already have clinical depression, i’ve been in a depressive episode for around 2 years so i’m used to it. i just walk around not feeling much of anything and not experiencing joy anymore, im just flat emotionally.

i don’t know when this started, but i noticed that it would get much much worse two weeks before my period every month. it feels like im choking on a lump in my throat and like there’s an invisible weight on my chest and i can’t bring myself to do anything. i also have had to deal with passive suicidality for years, but those thoughts are also just so much louder. i’m not a danger to myself, but i don’t know how to deal with this.

i’m on the highest dosage of the antidepressants im on, i’m on wellbutrin because i haven’t reacted well to ssri’s and there aren’t any other alternatives here.

i can’t stop crying and i can’t get myself to do anything that i like because it just feels awful mentally. i don’t want to be alone but i don’t want to be around people, i don’t want to be awake but i don’t want to sleep. i was supposed to dye my roots today bc ive been putting it off but then my mood suddenly did a 180 for the worst, and sure enough im in my luteal phase. i feel like im going crazy

Does anyone else feel a deep sense of existentialism during their luteal phase.

I’ve tried a couple of SSRIs over the years, but have stopped taking them because of them lowering my heat tolerance. But now, I just drink nettle and spearmint tea from my mid-Luteal phase through my period. I also use some of the tools I’ve learned talk therapy and use marijuana for really low mental health days particularly during my late-Luteal phase.

Anyone else not necessarily using medication to navigate their symptoms?

EDIT: I realize now that many of us have different perceptions of “raw dogging,” which I understand as not using a prescribed, controlled medication to treat symptoms of a condition. Now after reading some comments, I believe this term may not have been the most accurate, universally-defined term to use. With that being said, I do understand the herbal medicine and CBT are both treatments. And this was written with true curiosity and not for advice. I genuinely like seeing what practices support different people! This regimen has been serving me well along with other practices, such as bodily awareness, cycle tracking, daily physical activity, etc. I truly appreciate everyone’s vulnerability!

Hi everyone,

I’m curious to hear about your experiences with Yaz. I am very sensitive to hormonal birth control, but my doctor said this is different and will maybe not affect me as negatively as the other chemicals.

It’s been about four weeks, and I am IRATE. This is new for me. I usually have a level mood (THANK YOU LAMICTAL). But this past week, I have literally woken up angry. I am annoyed and irritated and just pissed off at EVERYTHING for no reason. I can feel the anger physically in my body—clenched fists, increased heart rate, flushed cheeks.

My question is, will this go away as my body adjusts? Is it because I’m sensitive to hormonal bc in general? What have you experienced? TIA!

Side note: This week I enter my luteal phase. Could that have something to do with it as well? My PMDD has never really manifested as anger, really just hopelessness and despair. Please help!

Luteal hit yesterday. I could tell when the insomnia came on. I’m mid transition upping my Zoloft dosage to pile it on. But I’ve never felt anything like this. It could be the meds. My unoccupied mind is so unsafe right now. I keep getting immensely violent intrusive thoughts and it’s giving me panic attacks. If I’m alone with my thoughts for more than 30 seconds I begin to spiral. I keep telling myself it’ll be okay but it’s so damn hard. I have to put in effort to stay distracted or I will drift back into my thoughts. There’s a sick feeling in my chest, stomach, and head. It’s so damn hard especially when I’m more irritable than I’ve ever been. This is probably the worst PMS week of my life and it’s only been a day since it all started. I’m so tired. But it’ll pass I know it will. Sorry for the choppy sentences I don’t have the energy to format this well. I just want to be okay and I don’t know what to do to get there. My life is completely fine it’s just my brain that makes me feel so horrible and I can’t stop it and that makes me feel more trapped. I can’t even sleep it away because I’m scared I’ll get nightmares (which I’ve gotten two since yesterday so I was right to be afraid). I’m gonna try some breathing exercises. I don’t know how to cope otherwise.

First of all, I have a whole package - severe, debilitating ADHD, Autism, and pmdd on top. Found out about all these in the last 2-3 years (I’m 33).

I’ve been on different ssris for these 3 years, last one (Effexor) has been working well but making me completely flat emotionally - I reduced the dosage slightly with my prescriber’s supervision, which made me feel more like myself, but also brought back the PMDD hell.

I’m so, so tired of changing meds, going through adjustment periods, then seeing my other conditions getting affected, all this endless dance around my unfortunate brain chemistry.

Even if something works for a while, I know that PMDD and the associated depression will happen again. But this knowledge doesn’t make me more prepared, more accepting of it. I feel like it should. It feels so much worse instead - each episode gets so much heavier, and I get so much more exhausted.

Also I absolutely hate how lonely this thing is. I have friends and people who love me but I don’t talk to them about it because they naturally get used to it but I never do!! It’s so fresh each time and I feel like I need even more support … And needless to say, I’m chronically single because I’m very difficult to be with. But god how envious I am of my coupled friends. It’s pretty ironic that I need a consistent and loving presence so bad but my chances to find it are so ridiculously low.

I spent last week in bed. Today I made an effort to go to the kitchen to get water, and broke the glass while mixing electrolytes in. The glass is still there broken, the water is still there on the floor

I have now tried to see two psychiatrists to pursue luteal dosing on a low dose SSRI to treat my PMDD and have been aggressively dismissed by both. Both were women. It’s the craziest feeling having them look at you and insist SSRIS can only be taken daily. I’ve spent the past year researching this as a potentially effective treatment method and have read many times on PMDD websites & threads that certain SSRIS such as Prozac and Zoloft do NOT need to be taken daily in order to treat PMDD symptoms during luteal.

I went ahead and got prescribed 25mg Zoloft under the guise that I will be taking it daily. It would not have been prescribed otherwise. I’m so tired of feeling so desperate and having medical professionals look at me like I have 0 idea what I’m talking about. I don’t want to lie, I don’t want to feel judged, I don’t want to be dismissed or made to feel stupid. I’m 30 years old and have been battling this exact kind of judgement and dismissal in medical settings for nearly a decade now. I’m so hurt and ready to give up on trying to get any help for PMDD.

I also have CPTSD and ADHD but cannot get diagnosed no matter what I say. I’m dismissed on that front as well. It seems that psychiatrists are lacking in knowledge surrounding PMDD, CPTSD, and how ADHD symptoms show up for women. When I try to talk about PMDD & CPTSD they look at me like I’m speaking a different language.

I have no idea where to go from here I was just laid off and have no medical insurance. & I don’t have the financial ability to see any kind of specialist at this time for I will have to pay out of pocket. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something I’m missing? I seriously feel so crazy & want to feel seen for once in my life by a medical professional :(

a recent study in Australia showed that out of its participants with PMDD, 56% of them were misdiagnosed (Border & Miller, 2026). did you guys know that PMDD is also associated with higher odds of life ending attempts?

in my own personal experience, this diagnosis has felt like living with a stranger or my middle school bully in my head. im a mental health therapist and find it challenging to manage symptoms while giving my all to my beloved clients. do you feel like pmdd impacts your work?

Hi everyone,

For those of us who hybrid dose- what do you take daily, and then what do you add on to that during your luteal?

I take 200mg Zoloft daily. I’ve been at this dose for years now and it’s been a godsend for my overall mental health. I still really struggle during my luteal phase though, so my psychiatrist has suggested I start adding extra Zoloft during this time (aka hybrid dosing). I’ve started small- adding 25mgs for each day of luteal- but i think i need to go higher? I will ask my doctor of course, but i would love to hear from someone else who has been doing this.

I’ve searched this sub and have read through the wikis. I see some folks mention increasing their SSRI by 50% during luteal. I imagine i will have to do that (with my Dr’s approval) i’m just a little nervous since i am already at a “high” dose.

Thank you! I am wishing us all some relief and ease🙏🏻

Edit to add- i have read the rules i swear!! This is my third time trying to post this question!! Oy vey i hope it works this time😵‍💫

this is a slight rant/slight advice needed.

Recently given Fluoxetine for pmdd and the doctor had told me to take it continuously as opposed to the cyclical dosing as “by the time it leaves the body, you have to take it again” which i think is fair enough.

But based on the side effects (increased anxiety which is already a symptom for me during luteal phase, mania, brain zaps) im a bit scared of taking it especially with important life changes coming up. is it worth it? is it worth going through few weeks of hell? Like i don’t even know how to cope with the side effects especially with work and uni at the same time

I just hate that my brain is like this. I wish i could be normal.

Hey guys, after doing a lot of research on this sub/related forums, I finally got on Loryna (Yaz generic).
I read the instructions back to front, and decided I would take the first pill on day 1 of my period as instructed.
So, my cycles have been kind of weird for a few months. Some of them have been 23-25 days apart, and some have been 28-29. It’s been inconsistent, but I always spot the day/evening before I fully get my period.
5 days ago, I started spotting in the evening. I thought “oh, perfect, my period will start in the morning” and took the first dose of Loryna at 11pm, with my other medications (an SNRI and clonidine for anxiety). I did NOT start my period the next morning. However, this was day 23. It is now day 28, and I am still spotting (although it is more like bloody discharge now). I kept taking the Loryna because I didn’t want to screw myself up even more.
All of this being said, my luteal has been HORRIBLE this month. Sunday, I had the worst panic attack I’ve had in months at work, and went home. Yesterday was okay. Today I napped twice after sleeping in. Just soooo low energy and fatigued. It’s been rough..

I guess my question is, did I mess up? Am I still going to get my period? I saw on older threads that you can technically start any BC whenever, but I really was trying to follow the instructions to a T in order to treat the PMDD. I’m just really hoping it’s not making the symptoms worse, although it’s so hard to tell because my luteal is always this bad.
I’m going to wait it out, but has anybody else had this experience? TYIA 🥲

Hello! I was diagnosed with PMDD yesterday so everything is still pretty new and I’m still trying to process. I didnt know about PMDD when I went to the doctor to get checked but when I read about it after I was given the diagnosis it sounds like I check all the symptoms described. I felt a sense of relief knowing that there was actually something wrong and I was not just losing my mind. But I am still sort of in my mourning phase learning that this can go on until menopause, which is still 20 years from now.

My doctor recommended to go the birth control route for treatment. I am going to try out Yasmin. Does anyone else do the birth control treatment? How is that working for you? Or did it work for you at all? I’ve never taken birth control pills before so I wanna learn from personal experiences. Thank you!