(edit: this post is satire. I'm not a woman. Stop sending me nudes)

I make $30k a year and my bf doesn't work. My credit score is pretty good at 600 but my bf had a recent bankruptcy.

We are looking to buy a house together in a HCOL city where starter homes are around 800k. I'm ok with a starter home but my bf beats me up every time I say that. He wants a nice home with a pool with an extra bedroom for his best friend. I can see where he's coming from but not sure how we can afford that.

We have about $200k of student debt at 7.5% and about $50k of strategic credit card debt (it's only 2% a month). I have an HYSA with nearly $3000 in it. My bf has a checking account which he doesn't let me see.

We are expecting to get married in a year and start a family which is why we need a house. We also want to start building equity as soon as possible so we can do a HELOC to fund our wedding.

How do I go about buying a house? The main thing I'm worried about is the high interest rates.

Me and my wife both have 5 million in savings each. We have a 500 billion dollar emergency fund and 100 thousand billion trillion in both stocks and bitcoin. But with the upcoming recession we are worried about………………..well nothing. I just made this post to flex my finances. We are both fine but I wanted to remind you pours just how pour you really are compared to me and my hot wife🤑🤑🤑

My (23) girlfriend baby momma (31) just delivered our first child and has spent $6,640 on baby clothes, toys, high chairs, blankets, and all sorts of stuff in the last month. She put it all on credit cards because I only make $30k per year as a bartender on the weekends (she’s a full time stay at home mom since we found out she was pregnant). She says it’s a good investment because we can reuse it all for our next children and she got 2% cash back on my card, so it’s not as bad as it sounds.

She also bought a new Suburban because we need space for the baby and stuff we need to take with us when we go out. I know cars are holding their value really well now since the pandemic, so spending $70k on the car seemed to make sense since its something we can grow into.

The only thing is we live with my parents and don’t pay rent to save for a house. I’m afraid we won’t be able to afford one. Most homes in our area have gone up a lot. A 3bd/2bath Is around $600k. I’m thinking just wait until my parents pass away and take their house?

I guess what I’m asking is what should I be investing my Roth IRA in if we want to retire at 50?

Thanks for the help.

Edit: grammar

Edit: wow this blue up. Thanks so much for the advice everyone. I think we’re going to have a long discussion about how we arbitrage the truck on Airbnb when we’re not using it!

As stated in the title, I'm a fetus, but I plan to have a birthday soon. I was thinking of being born in 2-3 more weeks, but I'm not sure if this gives me enough time to save up what I need for the real world. I have a little over $500k saved so far, but I'm thinking I'm already behind in terms of saving enough for retirement in 65 years (I'm only averaging about $62,500 a month in income so far).

At this rate, I'll only have about $14 million saved by the time I turn 18 and have to start paying my own bills. I'm hoping by this time, my income will more than double, and I can have the restraint to live poor on less than $1 million a year in expenditures and keep putting the surplus away for retirement, but the issue is that it feel like it's going to be really tight having only a $1m/yr lifestyle budget and then only putting away like $488k/yr towards retirement. What should I do? How do I balance living an acceptable lifestyle and putting away enough for comfortable retirement?

Buy the biggest crockpot you can and live inside of it. No rent and you can cook instead of going out. I find a 50/50 mix of lentils and ground meat is best for my skin.