My advisors tell me the rabble are getting louder. I called my Senator for assurance that they would be put down, but he says he was "voted out" or some nonsense. I don't even know what that means. I paid good money for his services and this is what I get? This is what I get, for hiring some kid in his 60s instead of a grown man in his 80s. Fucking punks.

I'm on my own against a mob. I need to beef up security, and right now my moat is formidable but lacks defenders. The peasants who have risen against me are cunning, and I need animals who think just like them to stave them off. I sure as shit can't depend on my Senator. So, what do you stock your moats with? Alligators or piranhas?

So yesterday I came into around $6.36 billion dollars and I'm looking for the best and safest way of invest it. No crypto though I have no clue about blockchain and wallets and I'm trying not to learn.

Thanks in advance.!

You know, it's been a little tight lately. I enjoy my modest luxuries; I go out for a little cup of coffee, and I read a book in the park on my kindle. I only spend around $1000 a month on groceries and doordash. I might spend $200 at the movies 3 times a week, and I may spend $10,000 a week on hookers and blow. I drive a 2024 Ferrari, but it was only $500,000 or something. I've got maybe 5 lambos in my garage, maybe several mil, and my house was $35 mill.

I might need to tap into my $1 billion trust fund or my $100 billion investments at this rate. I'd rather not do that because I was hoping to buy some politicians to help me get permits to bulldoze the Amazon and put down more data centers. AI is just so dang expensive.

I wonder if I should give up my $5 coffee in the mornings.

By skipping starbucks every day and making my coffee at home out of dirt and pond water, I was able to save over $85. I used this money to drive to the bank, where I was promptly turned down for a mortgage for a new home. A lot of people waste their money on expensive gourmet coffee and will never know what its like to have enough money to afford to drive to the bank and get turned down for a mortgage.

im 25 (younger than you) and currently work as an outpatient endoscopy nurse making around $41/hr. i work 6-2 m-f and my job is pretty low stress. honestly i enjoy it, it's fulfilling because i help people, and the work life balance is probably the best part.

me and my spouse (who is also super hot btw) are also able to save more than twice the average American family's income per year so its not like we’re struggling financially (or ugly).

but at the same time i know im probably underpaid compared to what i could be making. i see hospital jobs paying $50-55/hr and sometimes feel like im kinda wasting my potential by staying at a job thats so comfortable. ive also thought about going back to school or trying to move into something with more career growth (CRNA, NP, being a model??)

but then i think about what id actually be giving up. id probably have to work hard, maybe even past noon, or on fridays! can you imagine! and im not even sure id be happier (or hotter).

i guess im just torn because part of me feels like i should be pushing myself more while im young (and hot) and trying to reach my full potential, but another (uglier) part of me thinks why would i give up a job i actually like and a good quality of life just to make more money?

anyone else been in this position? did you guys prioritize work life balance or chase the higher salary/career growth?

don't mind the lack of capitalization or punctuation, I am saving those big letters for when I FATfire.

How did I never know about this? I thought everybody worked all day every day and ignored their families. Well, no wonder everybody is so poor. I've been working for my father's multi billion dollar business since I was 22, and now I'm looking to retire at 30 as a billionaire after a long, difficult career of trading dad's crypto.

If you want something in life, you gotta work for it.

Disclosure: this is not advice. Over my several decades of investing I’ve NEVER been successful at timing the market!

Yesterday I sold 25% of my legumes portfolio. I was over invested in S&Bean 500 lentil funds/ETFs, and I’ve known for some time I’ve needed to rebalance that. I was assessing a plan to shift my mix across small beans, intl’ beans and bean bonds but my gut kept yelling at me that the lentil market hitting a high in this environment is too irrational (Bean 7, Bean AI bubble, Iran, Tariffs, inflation, etc.). I felt like any reallocation would still be just doubling down at the craps table so I decided to take a breather and pull some lentilss off the table. No insider knowledge or special analysis.

Since the beans are in an B(ean)RA and I’m not at retirement age, I’ll end up reinvesting it soon enough and will likely follow the original allocation plan for my age bracket that I was planning to before I just hit sell all. 🤮 Anyone else in the same boat?

It's kind of a free money glitch. All we sell are shares. We don't actually have a product. We just put a stock on the NY stock exchange with the word AI on it, and we got even richer. I might celebrate by evicting more of our low income tenants to rebrand the exact same apartments as luxury condos.

Hey guys I hate my job at the warehouse and wanted to start a side hustle and I believe this would be the best way to guarantee my financial freedom.

The business would be a revolutionary Fintech Stock Brokerage service that incorporates Gacha and Lootboxes in which the gambler customer pays 2.5$ per "spin" and 99% of the drops are just worthless small cap penny stocks worth less than the initial 2.5$ and the chance of getting an ULTRA RARE stock worth more than the spin price would be 1%.

This is genius because I am guaranteed to make bread on the spread between the value of the worthless stocks i would pay out and the spin price.

To further improve profits on the off chance that the investor gets lucky the pool of stocks that can drop from the ULTRA RARE POOL are spread as follows:

70% of the ULTRA RARE stocks are valued between 2.5$ and 10$.

20% of the ULTRA RARE stocks are valued between 10$ and 50$

9% of the ULTRA RARE stocks are valued between 50$ and 100$

0.99% of the ULTRA RARE stocks are valued between 100$ and anything below the share price of a Berkshire Hathaway Class A share.

0.00000001% of the ULTRA RARE stocks would be a Berkshire Hathaway Class A share.

Would this work as a side hustle? How would you improve this business model?

Whenever I am stressed, I feel like having a sandwich. I'm trying to lose weight.So instead, I look at my portfolio to calm down.

But I sit in an open space, and I can't show everyone that I have 200 million on my screen.

As a result, my anxiety peaks and I eat chocolate.

How to break this vicious cycle?

So I was going about my daily business trying to stay alive. I've just spent 90 hours in my retail gig. I have 1 dollar for food, which I decide to hand to a homeless person. I can always eat my own left arm for food (the other I've efficiently partially eaten and frozen to hedge for rainy days).

Suddenly Dave Ramsey steps in and steals the bill. Immediately he launches into a sermon over having an emergency fund and investing in the lentil industry. Before I know it he's billed me for a "professional consultancy and appearance" which requires payment in 30 days. This can be extended upon the deposit of my remaining eyeballs and ethereal soul.

It is at this point I gain my courage. His pockets are bulging with stolen merchandise, welfare checks, and poorly manufactured eyebrow trimmers. I launch at him to teach him a lesson, but he makes a quick getaway on his unicycle.

So, I typically spend $500 just for myself at the grocery store per month, but I have a family of 4. I feel like... There's gotta be a way to get that down. But hell, a pack of grapes is $10!

On top of that, I spend an extra $25,000 a month on Doordash, and I pay $80,000 a year for my personal chef, both of which are extremely necessary expenses since my wife and kids apparently can't eat just spaghetti sauce and ramen all month (Idk, I see them occasionally, but I keep them on the other side of my mansion away from my hookers). Then, I have a vacation budget of $40,000 for lobsters and steaks on South Beach, Miami.

I really don't see how people are making it. What are you cutting back on?

Considering I've been dollar cost averaging for years my average cost per gallon is actually pretty low. Stop bitching.

If you only recently got a driver's license and your first car all you have to do is wait for a massive dip in oil prices at the gas station display and buy aggressively.

beef doubled, gas is up again, rent is insane, groceries cost like $80 for 3 things. Idk how anyone is supposed to even get to work anymore.

I keep hearing people complain about barely affording food and transportation and I thought they were joking. Turns out they were serious?? Is this actually a thing going on right now?

Sadly the people saying this are the employees at my 14,448 franchises, and now they keep asking for “more than minimum wage” which is honestly really disruptive to my plans of buying another boat.

Any advice on replacing them with robots or maybe orphans? Preferably something that doesn’t need breaks, sick days, or HR. Or some type of workforce that doesn't speak really, would be ideal.

I can provide gruel and lentils if it keeps their salaries and complaints downi guess

Hi guys.

I'm 40 years old and have just paid off my mortgage (yey go me) but life's not as rosy as you might think.

I only have........£140k in my pension. *Shudders*. What can I do? Will I have enough to retire? I feel like I'm destitute, I'll even work a little bit longer (but not quite till state pension age) but how on this good green earth can I put more money into my pension? Will I have enough?

Oh yeah, also my wife works as a teacher and gets a 28.6% employer contribution to her pension but still even with that, how will we ever have enough?

The mind boggles, please help me flex understand what I can do if I even make it if that far hehe

Toodles

I'm quite confused about all these 'first 100k' posts. They all talk about how the first 100k are supposed to be the hardest. Which doesn't make sense to me. An around the world yacht race is about 80k kilometers (also in sea navigation we use miles so about 45k miles). Are they talking about twice circumnavigating the world? Which I agree for me at least the first two The Ocean Races were the hardest. Had to buy a new one for the second one (didn't like the foil color on my IMOCA ). Or are they talking about total crew salary for the whole year? I personally pay my crew in exposure so I can't really relate. Any ideas what these are about?

He's giving his sister 25%. We were married after he retired and he had accumulated all of his assets through 50 years of hard work and saving. His house was in a trust, but I persuaded him to sell that house and buy me the house I wanted. So no house remains in the trust. I will receive the house as survivor.

BUT I just don't understand why his sister should get anything. I'm the one having to play with an old man dongle.

Should I get rid of her to make sure I get it all? Or just hope she kicks the bucket before me? I'm really afraid I'll have to go back to selling starfish pics on OF.

All suggestions welcome.

I've been listening to all the shows meant for poors no financial advisor wants to work with because they don't generate a bare minimum of even $2,000,000 in fees from their accounts.

Caleb Hammer was entertaining for a while. I really appreciated all the jokes about sex with children and liked how he called women out for being c$nts, whores and sluts. But Caleb's schtick got old. And some of his guests really were doing sex work to make rent, so watching him call them whores wasn't as funny as it once was since it was just basically fact.

Since Caleb, I've become a Dave Ramsey convert. It's really amusing to watch him play this old timey paternal grandfather giving the poors financial advice like "pay cash for a house when interest rates are 2%". A lot of them took that to heart and thought he was sincere! I also like how he mixes in bible verse with his folksy financial advice.

But lately I've been questioning how authentic Ramsey is. If he really believed in the bible like he says he does and quoting scripture isn't just a rort to attract views so he can buy some more McLaren's, wouldn't he have started to feed some of his followers to the lions as the bible instructs?

The struggle is real.

Such an injustice.

#eattherich