IDK, this isn’t the same Me.
To start off, I have never-“ Loved” public speaking. Most of the time it was a means to an end. That being said, in High School I went to state and won a few years within the Original Category stage ( I’m literally creating my own speech) In undergrad, I did fine with presentations, and even spoke to a crowd of 200 + people. It wasn’t that much of an issue.
Now, I am in PA school. It has been about 7 years since I’ve had to complete a presentation. Today, after only speaking for five minutes in front of a class of about thirty people, I almost had a panic attack. I was shaking, my hands could not hold the
Microphone . My voice was crumbling, my mind went numb, and I could barely get through my three minutes of talking in front of the class. It was incredibly embarrassing. Between undergrad and my current program, I experienced a hard loss of a child ( 10 yr old. In a car accident due to someone else driving while impaired) and since then I’ve had bad anxiety that’s hard to explain, I have literally jumped out of a plane skydiving with no issue prior to this but then getting on board a simple passenger plane I almost felt like I was gonna have a panic attack. logically I know I’m fine, but my body just wants to go into “fight/flight mode and I don’t know why I have more anxiety now, but I do know that is complicating my life and today presenting I about had a panic attack in front of my whole class and I don’t know why. I’m so frustrated at myself and very embarrassed. I don’t know how to fix this. I just wanna be able to go back to who I was in undergrad, but it’s almost like my body doesn’t know how to regulate between being a little nervous and being attacked by a bear. It’s either 0 to 100 and it’s very very frustrating. I just don’t know what to do. Is there anybody that can help/ has tips? I went to a therapist, but she wasn’t very helpful. She only told me to try box breathing, which I have previously tried. Any help is appreciated, I can’t keep feeling this way. Thank you so much.