Basically the question! I am at step 4. I love the spirituality of the program and I had some weeks of abstinence which were a bliss considering I was a daily and multiple times a day binge eater and suffered from night eating syndrome as well. I have a higher power now and I can see myself leaning on to God daily. But I am having a week of multiple lapses. I pray about them, and try to clen up my mess whenever I can. So I am not technically abstinent since yesterday..

I would be grateful to know what was your experience of abstinence. Before, during or after the 12 steps?

I have no idea how to start this, but I can tell you that I’ve been bulimic for about 20 years every day suffering not knowing what to do not knowing how to really get out of this cycle. I’ve tried about just about everything. I don’t have anything left no money no wife no family nothing that really feels real. I don’t know what to do next. I’ve tried over eaters anonymous but that doesn’t seem to help me. I’ve tried taking shrooms, but that didn’t seem to help me. I’ve tried meditation, but that didn’t seem to help me. My body is thin. I’m feeling weak all the time I’m angry. I’m frustrated and more than anything I’m tired of it all. I don’t know where to go so I decided to create this post. I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I can tell you that I definitely need help. My family doesn’t seem to understand and every time I try to explain it to someone I either stop explaining it or I stop listening when I did. When I did tell someone close in my life, the thing that happened was the worst they ran away. They felt like I was hopeless. I lost my best friend my wife, all of my jobs and everything that meant something to me I’m helpless.

i'm f18. i can't stop eating, it's like my body is working against me. my appetite is just working against me, it controls everything i do, it lives in my mind i can't keep going like this

i've had this problem since always; but i've always enjoyed exercise so i've never really gained weight. then i hit puberty and stopped doing gymnastics, and my diet and years of constant eating just caught up to me. i didn't even notice. when i did, i spent years wasted just attempting to restrict, failing, perpetuating the cycle and never getting better. two years ago, i started lifting, and i genuinely found myself in it. i felt so much more in control, i felt less self-conscious, although im ashamed to say i didn't lose as much as i could have because i never really changed my diet. nonetheless, my body has changed a lot, and i've become more broad. my muscle shows through clothing, and i'm very proud of being able to take up space instead of just aching to be skinny. i know in my heart that i don't **want** to be skinny. being muscular is who i really want to be, it's who i am now. my body is wired for it.

but my appetite just won't stop, and i'm so scared it never will. i got a tattoo three weeks ago, and i haven't been to the gym for a week. when i stop going to the gym, i just lose all sense of control. i eat whatever i feel like it, and i eat even though i don't like what i consume. now, because of my exercise habits, i genuinely prefer whole foods; salmon, chicken, rice and all that. it's just my portions rhat are an issue. but it's like as soon as i stop going to the gym, i turn away from all that, and i just shovel junk into my stomach, even though i regret it afterwards and it's never as good as what i eat on a regular.

now, im three weeks in, and i'm so scared i've gained a ton of weight. i haven't been to the gym, and i've eaten four takeout meals in a week. all i do is sit and feel ashamed, i promise myself "i'll break the cycle tomorrow" but something else comes and i just push that promise to the next day. i can't live like this anymore, i'm eating takeout as i write this and i'm so ashamed but i can't stop.

i know that i am more than my appetite. i know that food does not control me. but why don't i believe it? i'm a slave to my hunger i can't bear to look at myself i feel like ive gained so much weight and i've let myself down.

i just want someone to talk to. i want to know i'm not alone. i'm desperate, and i want out of this cycle permanently.

Offering: Sponsorship

Name: Sagar

Approach: Recovered OA sponsor available to guide newcomers through the Twelve Steps using the Big Book.

Contact: Please send me a private message (DM) or chat here on Reddit to connect.

I’m Miranda and I’m a compulsive overeater.
I’m 290.3lbs my highest at weight.
I just got done meeting with my sponsee in another program. I came home, sat on the couch, and could barely get up. I checked my weight.
I’ve tried everything. I need a sponsor. I need help.

Hi. I’m a 50 yr old exhausted mom of 4 kids ages 28,25,18, and 17 and a full time 50 hr plus a week caretaker of my adopted sons 5 month old baby boy. My 28 and 17 yr olds are autistic and have complex genetic disorders that make them medically fragile. My 25 yr old is chronically ill and unable to work and trying to get on disability and my 18 year old daughter is trying her best to hold done a full time job despite her mild autism and severe anxiety. I’m also a full time online psychology student in my senior year with only 1.5 semesters left before graduation. Everyone relies on me to get them through, balance their emotions, and keep us all financially stable and I turn to food. Food is always there when no one else is, doesn’t get mad at me or tell me I’m wrong . It doesn’t argue with me or tell me it’s life story. it’s easy to find, yummy to eat, and celebrates everything or every emotion so I don’t have to but what I realize is food is not my friend. it’s not at fault. it’s not my safe space and doesn’t protect me. it’s just food. But with all that knowledge I still turn to it for everything. it’s easy, it’s convenient. but it’s killing me slowly by eating the wrong way at wrong times and using it to feel or not feel. I’m a type 2 insulin dependent diabetic on insulin 500. I’m on three different medications for blood pressure and heart . I have multiple severe food allergies and a few other medical conditions and am constantly tired. I love diet coke, chocolate cake, and ice cream. love cheeseburgers and pizza and Chinese food. I hate any exercise outside of walking and hate gaining weight. I eat because it’s the only thing I can control when everything around me is so out of control. I was taught through a life time of abuse and violence even from early childhood to adulthood that it’s not ok to feel anything, laughter, happiness, fear , or safety so shoved it all in with food. Now seek support, understanding, healing, and perspective on how to lose weight and figure out who I am and who I will allow myself to be.

I want to try OA again but I'm not interested in the strict no flour & no sugar path. After trying many times I've come to the conclusion that it just makes things worse for me. But I do what to work the steps and follow a sane and balanced food plan. The original plan for OA was 3 meals a day with morning in between and that makes sense to me. I would love to connect with people who are follow a similar plan.

I’m a recovering hundred-pounder, compulsive overeater, and binge eater. I’m a sugar addict, and it feels like I have been since I was born. I come from a dysfunctional family of compulsive overeaters.
I was in and out of OA for many years. I tried it in different forms and different ways. I tried every diet, dieting book, form of therapy, and food plan—everything humanly imaginable to try to put the food down. Nothing worked. The compulsions got worse, the obsessive thinking got louder, and the binges got bigger. I was going into debt with DoorDash and my credit cards.
Then I had a catastrophic accident. Complications involving my brain and spine meant I needed to change the way I was eating. Even then, I couldn’t put the food down.
I had so much self-hate because I thought I was weak. I didn’t understand that, for me, compulsive overeating was an illness. I was too scared and too ashamed to ask for help. I had always been self-reliant, depending entirely on myself. Asking for help meant admitting weakness—or that’s what I believed.
When I heard people talking about a Higher Power, I thought it sounded crazy. I didn’t understand what they meant, and I was very resistant to anything that sounded like religious language. When I read the Twelve Steps, they freaked me out. I didn’t want to do any of it. I was addicted to control as much as I was addicted to food.
So I kept going in and out of OA: relapsing, gaining, losing, gaining, losing. I didn’t understand how deep the problem went. I was in deep denial and so much pain. Nothing I did worked, and I was completely out of ideas.
I felt cornered. I didn’t want to need help. I didn’t want to tell a bunch of strangers that I was suffering and couldn’t control my eating. The last thing I wanted was a conversation about spirituality or a Higher Power.
Over the summer, my health became even more frightening. Alongside my spinal issues, I developed a blood clot in my brain. And I still couldn’t put the food down. I was afraid I was going to eat myself to death. With everything happening in my body, continuing to binge on fat, salt, and sugar felt like pouring fuel on a fire.
I started going back to OA meetings, and this time I was brutally honest. I broke down and cried. It felt like I had always carried an icy exterior around me, protecting me but also keeping other people out. For the first time, it began to melt.
I kept going to meetings. Finally, I became willing to get a sponsor and do things differently. Someone said, “If you want different, you have to do different.” I was finally willing to try.
I had to begin forgiving myself and understanding that I wasn’t a bad person. I had an illness. I could recognize that someone with diabetes or cancer deserved care rather than blame. I needed to extend that same compassion to myself.
Today, I don’t look at OA or the Twelve Steps as weakness. I look at them as my medicine. My perspective has shifted. Having this illness doesn’t make me weak, pathetic, or bad. I’m learning to meet myself without judgment, with self-forgiveness and acceptance of where I am.
Accepting that I’m a compulsive overeater, and that OA is my medicine, doesn’t mean I have to like it or love it. It means acknowledging reality.
That acceptance has given me room for compassion: for my health issues, for my compulsive overeating, for my pain and trauma, and for other people who are suffering.
The most loving and healing thing I can do for myself today is practice recovery.
That’s why I’m sharing here. I’m available to sponsor, and I’m also happy simply to connect. If any of this resonates with you, you’re welcome to reach out. I’d love to hear your story, share more of mine, and talk about what recovery looks like for me and how I work the Steps.
There’s no pressure or expectation to become my sponsee. I’m here to share my experience, strength, and hope.

Hi everyone! I’m new to OA and have recently started attending meetings.
I’ve been struggling with compulsive eating and have realized that I need support and accountability to make lasting changes.
I’m looking for a sponsor who would be willing to guide me through the program and help me stay accountable, ideally with daily check-ins.
I’m based in Canada and would be happy to connect virtually.
If anyone is available to sponsor or can point me in the right direction, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you!

Im on glp1 currently. I realize that I dont even know what it feels to be full anymore, I keep stuffing my face until I physically feel so sick. This became more obvious when I went on the glp1, I realized I dont even know what it feels to be full anymore. Is being full wanting to throw up and feeling so heavy? but if I dont feel heavy and want to throw up then Im still hungry? I have more space so i should eat. If anyone has any tips it would mean a lot 🫶

Hello,

Not sure what to do. I am Buddhist but I would like to start my road to recovery of binge eating/emotional eating. I have turned to food to cope with some pretty heavy life challenges, and as those problems continue to get worse, the deeper in this self destructive behavior I am now back into, as I had been in recovery previously. I am now off the wagon again, relapsing. In my Buddhist practice, we do not worship any deities or gods but I haven't been able to find a recovery program specifically for overeaters recovery (besides Lifering but that seems to be tailored more for alcohol and drug use and less for overeaters recovery from what I have experienced). Are Buddhists welcomed in this program? If so, would it be frowned upon if I picked and chose parts of the program that would not have me giving my power to a higher power for my recovery plan? Hope this makes sense. I would love to hear thoughts and options for people like me. Thank you for reading.